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post #1 of 31
Thread Starter 
Ok, this drives me crazy. Why is it when you buy something nice, whether it is a nice luxury car, or nice TV, people automatically think you are rich and can afford just about anything you want? I get this a lot, and it really irritates me! You think that just because we own our house, have 1 car, have 2 big fish tanks, can eat out just about every meal (fast food -- well I know it is not good, but I don't cook yet LOL! :tounge2: ) have nice stuff in general, that I am rich? I THINK NOT! We just happen to have this stuff because we like it. We don't have children yet, and we both work. What is it with some people? I guess it must be pure jealousy or something, huh? Anyways, let's here what you have to say regarding this...... I know I shouldn't let it bother me.... It's the fact that it gets old after a while. Oh, and BTW, I hear a lot of it from people where I work, not the general public.
post #2 of 31
I know what you mean Tigger! I am also married with no children, and when people ask what we do for a living and I say we both work but my husband is self employed they automatically assume we must be loaded! WHY?!!! Just because he runs his own business does'nt mean it makes us tons of money! In fact its quite the opposite, some months he doesn't get paid at all because the company have'nt made enough money!
But what really makes me mad is when people say "well if you don't get much money, how can you afford 5 cats?"!!AAArrrrrggggghhhhh! Do these people not realise it only costs us about £20.00 a month to look after them?! Its NOT AN EXPENSE!!! Then you get the smart ones who suggest getting rid of some of the cats - yeah right Im really going to give up my babies for a poxy £20.00 a month! Slap!
(sorry....calm down....) And another thing that bugs me is whenever we book a holiday we get comments like "oh its alright if you're rich eh?" - Little do they know its always a bargain deal for about £100.00! Anyway Im going for a drink now before I overheat!

post #3 of 31
I haven't personally had the experience of anyone making these comments to me. I think it's because I'm a stay-at-home mom, and everyone knows we're pretty strapped! However, I have experienced the envy you mentioned, I just have better taste than to voice it. I really battle this with my brother. He's younger than I am, and he and his wife are both attorneys. They have one little boy who's almost 2. They had a really nice house over near us (I mean, pretty darn nice, and big too), but they weren't happy with this and had to move. When I heard about this from my mother, I got really ugly (and I'm ashamed of it too). The way my mom talked about the house, you'd think it was a mansion. I kept saying, why couldn't they be happy with what they had? I know my family or any of my friends would have been thrilled with it. But turns out, I love their new house. Yes, it's nicer and more expensive than we'll ever have since I do choose to stay home, but I think they're finally satisfied. I sure am glad I kept my big mouth shut to my brother, or I would have created the hard feelings you were talking about.
post #4 of 31
Not meaning to sound funney here, but I can understand your feelings with your brother! What annoys me is that people assume that of us when we only live in 2 bed end terrace in a very cheap location! Not that Im complaining cos I love my house!
Still it was probably wise you didn't say anything to your brother (even though I can totally understand it!) best not to cause upset eh?!
When we were looking for our house a relative of my husband was looking too (she was marrying a millionaire) and I remember saying to her about our little house , and she said "oh, well we looked around a 5 bed detatched with...(blah blah blah...),for 1/4 million quid (!) but it was too pokey for us"!!!!!! Yeah right! Theres only two of them and they live on the seafront in a 6 bed detatched with about 4 reception rooms!! Why??!!!! (I mean at least fill the rooms with cats or something! ha ha)

post #5 of 31
I'm not what you'd call rich as I get about $217 a month but it's a good salary and I can afford things that I've never dreamt of two years ago. My boyfriend also works but we have a lot of friends who are unemployed (unemployment is a pest here) or work for much less money and some of them even have children to sustain with less than $150 a month.
My close friends have never said anything about it, however, I can sometimes feel this attitude like Oh she can afford this and that...
I don't like the feeling, it really makes me feel bad, however, I do work a lot for what I earn and this job has come after a period which was extremely difficult for me.
post #6 of 31
Just out of interest, is that in Bulgarian Levas or US Dollars?
post #7 of 31
I really like all the discussion & the points of view that have been brought up.

I'm single, with no childern. My boyfriend lives with me but he's in the army, so he's gone almost as much as he's around. He's currently at Westpoint NY, where he'll be until August 31st.

I have worked very hard, and I have a great job that compensates me very well. I never dreamed I would find what I have. 2 years ago my dad got remarried, and I wanted to do something really nice for him, because without his love, support, encouragement and not to mention financial help I wouldn't be where I am in my life. I was finally in the position to give back and I wanted to do something big. So I told my dad I would pay for the honeymoon. It made me feel great to be able to do that. Other people in the family made remarks like 'well, how am I suppose to compete with that?!?!' and the like. It really hurt my feelings. I wasn't trying to show off, I just wanted to thank my dad for always being there for me, and do something special. It wasn't about a competition, it was about giving back to the person who has spent their whole life giving to me. I'm not rich but I don't have kids and my expenses are fairly low. It won't always be this way so I'm enjoying it now.

My brother has a low paying job & a son to support, so I have been known to help with his bills, send him care packages filled with junk food, candles, clothes and all the other things he doesn't have the money to spend on. He knows I would do it even if he told me no, so he puts up with me sending him stuff & going overboard on birthdays & X-mas.

In my line of work I'm also able to get my dad concert tickets & the occasional backstage. I feel so good being able to do something for my dad, something that he wouldn't normally be able to do for himself.

all of these things stir up negative feelings in different people for different reasons. I wake up everyday & feel thankful for what I have, and if someone in my family has needs, what is mine is theirs. I have been poor! $15,000 in debt & barely living paycheck to paycheck. I know what it's like to not be able to do anything but take care of the basics, and you're barely able to do that.

I have had my feelings hurt many times because some people don't understand where my intentions come from, or want to take advantage of me. there is nothing worse than someone who doesn't know you, who has thier hand out. I would do anything for someone where there is mutual care, respect & friendship, but not for someone who doesn't know me, and has never take the time.

sorry this got so long winded! I guess this subject is near & dear to my heart.

thanks again Tigger for sparking this discussion.
post #8 of 31
:LOL: I'm a teacher, so nobody ever accuses me of being rich!

When I spend money on a nice item, people just assume I can't manage my money very well.

Having a ton of cash has never been one of my major problems. As a matter of fact, the only reason I could afford to buy my house was because I inherited some insurance money after my dad passed away last year.
post #9 of 31
Thread Starter 
This is great to hear all of the different opinions, like airprincess said!! And, Airprincess I think that is so cool of you to help out your in-laws and Dad!! And, even though we have the stuff we have, we are paying for it! We still have bills, too -- just a little more than what we want, but we are working towards paying them off!! I try to send as much as I can to bills without going broke!
post #10 of 31
BodLover, the figures I gave were in USD I though it would give a clearer idea
post #11 of 31
Don't take this the wrong way Billie but it doesn't sound much! - But then I don't know anything about the cost of living in Bulgaria! I'm sure its ample, I get around £700 a month (940 USD) but our mortgage is about £470 (660 USD)! so it doesn't leave alot! Still we get by ok when my husband gets paid! (often he doesn't though!) But as long as I've got enough to feed my babies and buy our own food I dont mind!

post #12 of 31
Well my rent is $80, my electricity bill is about $7 a month in summer and $20 in winter and my phone bill comes to about $9.
That leaves me with some $121 to cover all food (both for humans and cat) and teh unimaginable other expenses that pop up daily.
Given that it's so cheap here as compared to the UK or the US I can say I'm doing fine although there are many things I never dare to dream of buying. But there'll always be such things you know unless you are Bill Gates or someone like that
post #13 of 31
So true Billie! I think no matter how rich you could get there would always be something you just couldn't get/have - as they say, money cant buy everything! I find it really interesting to know about the cost of living etc in other countries, its so easy to just assume everywhere is the same as where you live, thanks for being so open! I wouldn't like to even guess what our gas bill is in the winter! (I try to erase this sort of info from my memory!) By the way, what time is it in Bulgaria? (Just call me nosey!)

post #14 of 31
Are you from the UK Bodlover??
It's 2.30 pm here. I think the difference is just two hours
post #15 of 31
Yep, Im in the UK, good old rainy England! and you're right we're only 2 hours behind you. (So are you using your computer at work then like me?! and yes I have a boring job thats why Im always on here in the daytime! hahaha)

post #16 of 31
Only too right Bodlover :LOL: only too right!!!
Hey girl we do seem to have a lot in common, why don't you pm me or send me an email sometimes?
post #17 of 31
Ok Billie, will do! (its good that you don't have to pay for the net at work eh? I dread to think what it'd cost me at home!! :laughing: :laughing2 )

post #18 of 31
Boy, I wish my rent was $80/month and my electric bill $7/month. I'd finally feel like I was getting my money's worth! On my current salary, with those expenses, I 'd practically be Bill Gates!

post #19 of 31
Thread Starter 
Originally posted by Deb25
Boy, I wish my rent was $80/month and my electric bill $7/month. I'd finally feel like I was getting my money's worth! On my current salary, with those expenses, I 'd practically be Bill Gates!

I was just going to say that, too!! :tounge2: Wouldn't that be great!! We pay close to $900/month for our mortgage. But, we also have an ARM, not fixed rate!
post #20 of 31
I am not rich by any means as regards to money - but am rich with friends and a good job and a family that loves me and last but not least, the privledge of being able to care for some animals that need a home. I have enough money to pay my bills and some left over for dinner or a movie once in a while. My sister once asked me 'how can you live like that' - meaning she did not think I had enough personal belongings or money in the bank. I told her that those were just things and things didn't matter too much in the long run. About 6 weeks later her beautiful 'stuff filled' home burned to the ground...........now I ask you - who is the rich one?
It is me!!!!!!!!!
post #21 of 31
Hey girls do you think it's easy to pay a $80 rent if your salary is $200 and you have to eat too??? :LOL: :laughing:
OK OK I realise that it sounds like a dream but I just wish I didn't have to pay any rent though. Oh but don't we all....
Love ya guys!
post #22 of 31
Aha! Billie! I knew you couldn't still be working! (Like me whos just sooooooooooo busy......!)

PM me when you get a min!

See ya

post #23 of 31
Airprincess....I think it is very sad that your family had to act like it was a competition, just because you could afford to pay for your dad's honeymoon....I think it was a wonderful gesture of love on your part, and I am sure that he didn't expect everyone to come up with something equally as great, knowing that you were doing okay financially. It is sad that your family had to be jealous of that.
I too have had the problem of people turning up their noses and getting bent out of shape because of the way I spend my money.
It seems to me, that if my husband doesn't have a problem with it, then it is noone else's business!!!!!!
It makes me angry!!!!
I don't have a whole lot of money....but I also have no children to support, and so I spend my extra money on the things I truley love...my houseplants, my pets, and my Boyd's Bear's collection.
Sure I save some too...but I have gotten grief about this from a couple "friends" of mine...who felt I had no right to spend my money the way I do. It pretty much ended one friendship...(along with other things) because I don't beleive anyone has the right to tell me how to spend my money that I work hard for. This person made comments to me regarding how many cats I have to feed, and that I had just bought two lop-eared rabbits, and also bought two pygmy hedgehogs...and they thought this was all a waste of money.
If I can still pay my bills...and my husband isn't upset about it...then what I spend my money on is none of anyones business!!
post #24 of 31
I have never been rich... or even well off. EVER. But.. I have never ever done without. Ever. I always had what I needed and even a few of the wants.

Now... We're not poor, we're not rich... we're in between. Craig has a nice job that pays pretty well. The only problem is.. the bills.

San Francisco is TOO DAMN EXPENSIVE! It's outrageous. You would not believe how horrible it is.

For a 2 bedroom 2 bathroom loft that is *TINY* we pay $2750 a month.
Almost 3k a month for a teeny tiny loft!!!! Not to mention the rest of the bills. It's a pain in the neck.

We still have enough money to go out to eat or just go out. I just find it ridiculous to spend so much money on such a tiny tiny place. I guess thats why we are looking for another place OUT of the city. Thank God.

post #25 of 31
$2750 a month???? Is this the way it is all over the US? I remember one episode of Sex and the City where Samantha mentioned she's paying 7000$ a month for her Manhattan apartment. To be honest, I thought I had misheard the figure, but now I'm not so sure...

I know both ends of being considered well off and not so well off. While I too was in the army, we were both bringing in 2 nice salaries (together we would make the equivalent of 3500$). We paid only 600$ monthly rent for our Tel Aviv apartment (not too expensive for Tel Aviv, but not very cheap either). What happened was that we were expected by relatives (mostly on my side) to help the family. We gave a lot of money to my pensioner grandpa, my then unemployed mom, my student brother and my soldier brother... We didn't manage to save anything, though we were not spending a lot of money on ourselevs.

It's been one year since I left the service and I hardly make any money with my internet company (this site), so now we're considered to be well... "not well off" My mom had since got a job, my brother graduated and has a nice job, so the family in less in need. We also moved into a tiny little place that we rent from our in-laws, so that costs us only 350$ a month. We spend a lof less than what we used to spend while living in Tel Aviv, simply because there is a lot less to spend on. All in all, we're happy with what we've got and don't worry about the money, but it was funny how my dad gave me some money this week as an early b-day gift saying he figured out that's what we need most I guess I'm not used to be on the receiving end of money in my family
post #26 of 31

No one should ever tell you how you should spend your money, or judge you on it. No one has any idea what is going on in my or your head, or why we choose the things we do, therefore it's not up to them to pass judgement on it.

I'm adopted, and when I thank God everyday that I was wanted, and that my adoptive parents were so wonderful & nurturing. Now that I'm in a position to 'give back' I'm going to do it & I don't like it when people who have no idea of my past, or the issues that I deal with (feeling accepted, worthy of love, etc.) judge me, or choose their own stories on why I do what I do. I know that in your own way you have the same things going on, and it's not ANYONES business.

As long as the bills are being paid ( and I try to put some away for my retirement ) noone needs to worry about it.


My family gives me money & gift certificates for my birthday & Christmas all the time. It's very rare that I get an actual 'gift'. I guess they think that I know best what I need for that occasion, and they just leave it up to me to decide.

I have a friend who has a one bedroom apartment in NY, that basically consists of a medium size bedroom, medium size living room, a closet sized kitchen (with a 'dorm' size refrigerator) & a bathroom and they pay around $2500 a month. I have seen Samanthas place on SATC & in real life it could very well be $7000.

I pay $1250 on my morgage. I live in a 3 bedroom townhouse with a full finished basement. It's really not that big but big enough. It's 10 years old & I'm the second owner. The good thing is the area that I live in is booming, and property values are going through the roof. It's an up & coming community, and places are very sought after. On the other hand my dad lives in the most affluent suburb on Indianapolis in Indiana, his house has 4 bedrooms, hard wood floors, cathedral ceilings & a huge fenced in backyard, with a deck, apple and pear trees and a grape arbor. His house cost only $8000 more than my townhouse. It really all depends on where you live.
post #27 of 31

Here in the states real estate and other living costs flucuate wildly depending on what part of the country you live in. New York area and California are notoriously expensive. Southern states tend to be cheaper, although are rising, too. Salaries also vary according to where you live. When my father retired here 3 years ago, he sold his rather modest house in New Jersey for over $300,000. You can be in the lap of luxury for that price down here. My little house cost me $72,000. The price of new homes here is about in the $100,000 range. A decent apartment in a good neighborhood will run you $700+ per month. If I had to pay San Francisco prices on my salary, I'd starve!
post #28 of 31
Here, a decent apartment (4-5 bedrooms) in a decent place would cost around 180,000. I thought in the US you could have a big farm for 40,000$ or so, guess I was wrong
post #29 of 31
Anne - you can find bargains in that price range - they call them 'handy man's specials'.usually an older farm house that has the need of renovations and repairs. Some states are a lot more expensive than others - where I live in NYS you can find bargains up here in the Northern section - not down by NYC though!
post #30 of 31
I'd say $180,000 is a fair price for a 4-5 bedroom house in my area. No so elsewhere.
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