[Kudos to "Debbie" at Yahoo!Clubs Animal Psychology.]
1. I will not be "Cute Kitty Extraordinaire" one moment and "Demon Cat from Hell" the next. It makes my humans wonder about my sanity.
2. I will not bite my human's feet as she tries to walk down the stairs.
3. I will not censor my human's reading material by batting away the book while he tries to read.
4. I will not climb 35 feet up a tree and refuse to come down just because the neighbor's dog barks at me. I will not do this when it is 39º F out and raining; and the only available ladder is 30 feet long. When my human tries to persuade me to come to his arms and be carried out of the tree, I will not jump 35 feet to the ground. (After doing so I can at least limp a little bit. I really tick my human off when I bounce off the frozen ground unhurt; and he is stuck up a tree clinging to a branch because I nearly knocked him and the ladder out of the tree.)
5. I will not dip my paw into my human's drink.
6. I will not do a high-wire act across the curtain rods.
7. I will not do acrobatics when my human puts a harness on me for the first time.
8. I will not do the Death Leap from the back of the armchair onto the male human's shoulder when he's playing with the new computer-system, as he appreciates neither my claws being dug into his shoulder nor the impact from my leap.
9. I will not drop my catnip mouse in my human's mouth when she's snoring.
10. I will not groom my private parts in front of company.
11. I will not have one of my so called "Kitty Seizure For No Reason" attacks when my human decides to pick me up — leaving three huge gashes in her arm, four extra holes in her shirt and a chunk ripped out of the couch.
12. I will not hide in the bathtub when my human is not looking and cause her to run around the house yelling for me.
13. I will not "hide in the house and not come out" when my humans call for me. Also, I will not stay in my hiding place as they check everywhere twice (and then stroll out when their backs are turned so that they can't see where I was hiding). I especially will not do this at three o'clock in the morning.
14. I will not hook a claw into my human's nostril to wake her up on weekends.
15. I will not ignore Grandma when she yells at me to get off the dining room table.
=^..^=
1. I will not be "Cute Kitty Extraordinaire" one moment and "Demon Cat from Hell" the next. It makes my humans wonder about my sanity.
2. I will not bite my human's feet as she tries to walk down the stairs.
3. I will not censor my human's reading material by batting away the book while he tries to read.
4. I will not climb 35 feet up a tree and refuse to come down just because the neighbor's dog barks at me. I will not do this when it is 39º F out and raining; and the only available ladder is 30 feet long. When my human tries to persuade me to come to his arms and be carried out of the tree, I will not jump 35 feet to the ground. (After doing so I can at least limp a little bit. I really tick my human off when I bounce off the frozen ground unhurt; and he is stuck up a tree clinging to a branch because I nearly knocked him and the ladder out of the tree.)
5. I will not dip my paw into my human's drink.
6. I will not do a high-wire act across the curtain rods.
7. I will not do acrobatics when my human puts a harness on me for the first time.
8. I will not do the Death Leap from the back of the armchair onto the male human's shoulder when he's playing with the new computer-system, as he appreciates neither my claws being dug into his shoulder nor the impact from my leap.
9. I will not drop my catnip mouse in my human's mouth when she's snoring.
10. I will not groom my private parts in front of company.
11. I will not have one of my so called "Kitty Seizure For No Reason" attacks when my human decides to pick me up — leaving three huge gashes in her arm, four extra holes in her shirt and a chunk ripped out of the couch.
12. I will not hide in the bathtub when my human is not looking and cause her to run around the house yelling for me.
13. I will not "hide in the house and not come out" when my humans call for me. Also, I will not stay in my hiding place as they check everywhere twice (and then stroll out when their backs are turned so that they can't see where I was hiding). I especially will not do this at three o'clock in the morning.
14. I will not hook a claw into my human's nostril to wake her up on weekends.
15. I will not ignore Grandma when she yells at me to get off the dining room table.
=^..^=