Does everyone see their pets are less important once they become parents?

odiakkoh said:

Well I don't regret "ending up like that". My cat will be fine without me, my children would not be.

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you dont think your cat needs you now that you are a parent?

Not nearly as much as the children would/do. Plus, she's not saying she'd ditch her cat- only that when it comes down to it, her children come first. There's a huge difference.

terestrife said:

you dont think your cat needs you now that you are a parent?

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thank you all living breathing things need you if you took them in i'm not just going to turn my back on my pets like that and i'm not saying i'm going to give my baby no attattion all because my pets was here first no my baby will get stuff first them my pets then me so there if i for example buy baby cloths formula etc and pet food etc and my food etc in town in one day it will go from baby first then pets then me and then any thing else that needs done

I've known a few women who got pets because what they really wanted was a baby and the pet was more like a substitute.  Then their babies were born, and they didn't want/need that substitute anymore so it's like the pets stopped existing to them.  I don't think it matters how you feel, even if you don't love your pet as much anymore (which is nuts!) you still have a responsibility.  

As for me, I had a cat and dog when my first child was born and my feelings toward my pets didn't change at all.  My love for my children absolutely and completely dwarfs the love I have for my pets, but that doesn't mean I love the pets less than I used to.  If I absolutely had to choose between my kids and my pets, of course I'd choose my kids.  I mean, think about it: rehomed pets do just fine with their new owners, but if I dropped my kids off with social services, they'd be traumatized for life.  It's just different.  

Don't worry, I can tell you will be a good 'mom' to both your children when the time comes.The others worry me, will they not like their first child as much if they have another? My heart breaks for the animals, they must be so confused and hurt! Hopefully they may regain their 'mom's' love when a little time goes by. I know that with a new little one it's hard to find time sometimes for others, but don't let them diminish YOUR love for your animals, there is nothing wrong with loving them, and treating them, as a valued member of your family. After all, who else loves you as they do?
 

My sister used to have a chihuahua that she spoilt rotten.She and her husband would go a long way out of their way to make sure he had the best life possible. When he was a few years later they got a mutt (that had wandered onto our property as a puppy, but Mum decided we had two dogs and didn't need another, so he went to my sister; we've all regretted that ever since), that they basically ruined and turned into a cowering wreck - long story how that happened, but kind of besides the point. Anyway, she started having children. The first dog she continued looking after until the day her died. The second dog was relegated to the backyard and only ever got any attention when I came to visit, when he used to rest his chin on my shoulder and cry. Since then, she has had four dogs and they all spend all their time outside being ignored. I don't even understand why she gets them when she obviously doesn't want them. She got a dog from the pound last year and he was young and had been abused, but was good natured. He had some major house training issues, but something that could be overcome if she wanted to put a little effort in, which should be easy as she is at home all day. He lasted a month before they sent him away. Everything she does to her animals revolts me and there is nothing I can do. She's not someone that will take advice, if I tell her she's messing them up, she'll probably just stop talking to me for a year (it's happened before) and because they're getting their basic food, shelter and water requirements, the RSPCA can do nothing. But she's just destroying the life of dog after dog.

Me, personally, when I got moved across Australia is join my partner, my 15 year old cat came too. She has always been aware that it's a 'love me, love my cat' situation. We did, very sadly, lose my little boy at sixteen and a half years old. But six months after that we got a dog and another six months after that, we got another cat. Followed by a pregnant foster cat. I think she's as addicted to cats as I am now.

I wouldn't say so. My husband and I did make some choices when we decided to start our human family. Specifically, we let our kitty family reduce naturally down to two and I let my aquariums reduce down to one 55g with standard tropicals instead of the multiple tanks of demanding cichlids. But our two kitties get their time and attention, and our son gets his.

I don't have kids, but I might in the near future. However, there will be NOTHING that breaks that bond between me and my animals. My kitties are my family too. And everyone deserves equal attention. I get so mad when people say, "Oh, what will you do with your cats when you have kids?" 

My answer is always the same. "Um, do? They live in the same house, where do you expect them to go? It's not like they are disposable." Then I look at them like they are ridiculous. If they don't get that message (and some don't), I spell it out. My cats are family. They have feelings and personalities and lots of love to give. And they are going no where!

JenL said:

I don't have kids, but I might in the near future. However, there will be NOTHING that breaks that bond between me and my animals. My kitties are my family too. And everyone deserves equal attention. I get so mad when people say, "Oh, what will you do with your cats when you have kids?" 

My answer is always the same. "Um, do? They live in the same house, where do you expect them to go? It's not like they are disposable." Then I look at them like they are ridiculous. If they don't get that message (and some don't), I spell it out. My cats are family. They have feelings and personalities and lots of love to give. And they are going no where!

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Reminds me of when we moved and people asked, "What will you do with your pets when you move?" and I would just say, "They fit in the car, I'm sure we'll make it."

socksy said:

Reminds me of when we moved and people asked, "What will you do with your pets when you move?" 

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I have to wonder where their brains are when people ask some stupid questions like that 

socksy said:

Reminds me of when we moved and people asked, "What will you do with your pets when you move?" and I would just say, "They fit in the car, I'm sure we'll make it."

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HAHAHAHA sorry that was funny totally agreed with that i cant stand how people just throw there pets away after a move or get a kid or kids etc

terestrife said:

you dont think your cat needs you now that you are a parent?

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THANK YOU

I recently acquired a maybe-foster possibly permanent kitty because his humans had another kid and couldn't handle all of the kids/cat. I know too many parents of humans for whom that's the case, and sometimes these perfectly normal, lovely cats get a little territorial of the new baby etc. and they get shipped off to the pound for peeing on the bed! As if the humans didn't love the cats enough to even try. Fuzzy, Betsy. It's a nightmare being a new mother, especially, but surely someone would take Baby for a couple hours while you take some time for yourself and pay a little attention to your cat too?

I know, I feel more sympathy for the cats 99% of the time. Their babies are cuter. *ducks*

I am pretty sure my Aria got left behind in a move. We live in a military town, so this happens quite often especially if it's an international posting. I can understand not being able to taken a pet but not just abandoning it.

Anyway, I got a little off topic there. I don't have any kids and have no plans to, so my furbaby will be first if there's a fire (I figure H doesn't need my help and can rescue himself). I do agree that the love for a human child is different, but I can't imagine ever just ignoring a pet because of a new child or boyfriend/girlfriend/whatever.