Does everyone see their pets are less important once they become parents?

my sister in law got a dog because my brother wanted it. she would clip his nails, buy him lots of toys, made a scrapbook for him. he would even sleep in her bedroom. then she had a daughter, and now she no longer buys him toys. the only thing they buy for him is dog food. and im stuck buying him his flea treatments as he sleeps on my side of the house.

we were talking about him, and all of the sudden she that now the most important thing is her daughter and not the dog. and that he is not important anymore. even her aunt had a dog that she would dress and dote on, she would sleep with him, and the dog was obviously well cared for, and spoiled. but then she found a boyfriend and all of the sudden he came first. the  dog was very depressed and confused.

she started distancing herself from the dog and giving more attention to the man in her life. and now the aunt now looks at me funny for doting on my cat. the other day she came over and looked at my cats, cat tree in a weird way, as if im crazy for buying it. even my sister noted the way she was looking at my cat.

i get that children come first, and i'll probably feel the same when i have a kid. but i mean to the point that you cant even buy them a toy, and dont even seem to consider them important anymore?? i dont have kids yet, but in my heart, my cat is my first baby, as crazy as that sounds. i love her dearly, and it scares me that i might end up acting like shes not important anymore once i get married and have kids.

people will never, under ANY cercumstance(sp?) come before my pets.period.

Pets are for life, and honestly you should think about talking to your SIL about re-homing her poor dog, he doesn't know why he isn't treated the same, they get into a routine, and if that routine is broken, they can start having behavior issues, and yes they do get jealous and out of anger act badly.

my cousin had a dog several years ago, he found as a puppy walking along the side of a busy highway, he stopped and picked the pup up, it had duct tape around it's mouth and was covered in bites, probably having been used as a bait dog.

my cousin took the little pup home, cleaned him up, went out, bought him some food, and the next day took him to the vet, and decided to keep him.

he grew into the most handsome, trusting dog you'd ever met UNTIL my cousin brought his new girlfriend home, the dog almost immediately started having behavior problems.

my cousin took him to the shelter and he was put to sleep because that particular shelter didn't adopt pitbulls.

I haven't talked to my cousin since.

I did the whole kid thing once, back before my ex wife admitted to cheating on me, and the child turned out not to be mine. And while the child did come before the pets, the cats still got what they needed, and they were still payed attention to, because they were there and they were part of the family
 

Gibbly said:

people will never, under ANY cercumstance(sp?) come before my pets.period.

Pets are for life, and honestly you should think about talking to your SIL about re-homing her poor dog, he doesn't know why he isn't treated the same, they get into a routine, and if that routine is broken, they can start having behavior issues, and yes they do get jealous and out of anger act badly.

my cousin had a dog several years ago, he found as a puppy walking along the side of a busy highway, he stopped and picked the pup up, it had duct tape around it's mouth and was covered in bites, probably having been used as a bait dog.

my cousin took the little pup home, cleaned him up, went out, bought him some food, and the next day took him to the vet, and decided to keep him.

he grew into the most handsome, trusting dog you'd ever met UNTIL my cousin brought his new girlfriend home, the dog almost immediately started having behavior problems.

my cousin took him to the shelter and he was put to sleep because that particular shelter didn't adopt pitbulls.

I haven't talked to my cousin since.

I did the whole kid thing once, back before my ex wife admitted to cheating on me, and the child turned out not to be mine. And while the child did come before the pets, the cats still got what they needed, and they were still payed attention to, because they were there and they were part of the family
 

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thank you for the response. im glad im not the only one that feels that pets should have an important place in our lives. i do think i will obviously love my own child more. but at the same time i cant imagine not loving my cat, and not taking care of her, and giving her love and attention. i just found it so odd how people can just stop giving love and attention to thier pets. i hope i dont ever become like that.

I think there is a specific subset of people that have a tendency to do that. When someone gets a pet, it can be for different reasons. Some people genuinely feel better when they are caring for another life and want to care for animals and have something furry and cuddly to love on (this is definitely the subset I am in), while other people only get pets to fill a void in themselves that is only there because they haven't received the love they want from humans. So someone who has been dumped a lot might adopt a pet to feel that unconditional love, but what they really want is for a human to love them like that. If the void-fillers start receiving love from another human being, in the form of a new girlfriend/wife or child, then those people no longer see the need for pets.

It's even worse in some cases, because the pet will remind these people of the time in their lives when they had to rely on their pet for love because they didn't have people who loved them the way they wanted. Those are the people who start really disliking pets, even other peoples' pets, because of that constant reminder. I think your aunt sounds like this last group of people with the way she looks at you for doting on your cat. She sees herself in you and freaks out because that elicits memories of when she was lonely.

rad65 said:

I think there is a specific subset of people that have a tendency to do that. When someone gets a pet, it can be for different reasons. Some people genuinely feel better when they are caring for another life and want to care for animals and have something furry and cuddly to love on (this is definitely the subset I am in), while other people only get pets to fill a void in themselves that is only there because they haven't received the love they want from humans. So someone who has been dumped a lot might adopt a pet to feel that unconditional love, but what they really want is for a human to love them like that. If the void-fillers start receiving love from another human being, in the form of a new girlfriend/wife or child, then those people no longer see the need for pets.

It's even worse in some cases, because the pet will remind these people of the time in their lives when they had to rely on their pet for love because they didn't have people who loved them the way they wanted. Those are the people who start really disliking pets, even other peoples' pets, because of that constant reminder. I think your aunt sounds like this last group of people with the way she looks at you for doting on your cat. She sees herself in you and freaks out because that elicits memories of when she was lonely.

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what a great response, it really made me see a different side to the situation. the weird thing is, when i adopted my cat, i was going through a depression myself, i was feeling really down, for personal reasons. i've suffered with depression since i was a teen. im feeling better now, but i cant see myself ever disliking my cat, if anything i am grateful to her. when i was obsessing about myself, caring for her helped me to look beyond myself. suddenly there was someone that depends on me for food, shelter, and yes even love. i feel like i've become a better person because of her.

your post made me nervous though, i hope i dont become like those people that just ignore their pets when their lives get better. i dont think so though, with everything i've gone through with my cat, i have the feeling we're stuck together in the good and the bad. thanks for the response, it was very interesting to read.

oh to the other response, i forgot to add. you dont need to worry for the dog. my mom has taken over caring for him. he ever sleeps in her room now. he is not allowed in the other side of the house, where my brother, SIL, and niece sleep, as his hairs are supposedly undesirable. he gets a lot of love from my mom, he sometimes even climbs into her bed! lol

I also think that there are people that have something love it like its the only  thing in the world, then something else comes along and they switch and the next thing is the best thing in the world. It doesnt have to be kids taking place of pets, I have seen people do it when the newest baby comes along, I cant say they discard the other, its seems that the first is no longer important. I think there are people who go through life like that, I wonder if they will be like that if they have another child.

Im glad the dog has found a new loving home. 

I have two kids and one on the way. I just recently adopted two cats. Partially for me partially for my two older girl. I see it this way. It is like adopting a baby.
I made an agreement to take care of these guys and that is my job just like I got pregnant and it is my job to take care of my baby. I see them as furry kids. I can't name them, love them, train them, feed them and then just walk away from the that would probably be as traumatic for them as it would my kids. Not that cats are kids or people but I made a choice to drive to the shelter and pay to adopt them I should stand by that.

I don't have kids myself, but it was no question for my stepmom when she brought home my sister nearly twelve years ago. There's a picture I love of baby Maggie's first day home from the hospital: my stepmom is watching and Maggie is sleeping in her car seat as the two cats (Millie and Pokey) and the German Shepherd (Saba) cautiously approach the tiny new "packmate." The animals have since crossed the Rainbow Bridge, but they were just as much family members when we buried them as they were when we brought them home. Now Maggie and our youngest sister, Sabrina, are pet lovers too (though I sadly think they prefer dogs, haha).

People don't always go crazy and abandon their pets when having kids. It is an adjustment for everyone, but it can have great results too.

LokiandSmokey said:

I have two kids and one on the way. I just recently adopted two cats. Partially for me partially for my two older girl. I see it this way. It is like adopting a baby.
I made an agreement to take care of these guys and that is my job just like I got pregnant and it is my job to take care of my baby. I see them as furry kids. I can't name them, love them, train them, feed them and then just walk away from the that would probably be as traumatic for them as it would my kids. Not that cats are kids or people but I made a choice to drive to the shelter and pay to adopt them I should stand by that.

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I totally agree, I don't have kids yet, but I tell everyone that my cat is my first born. lol I know when i have a baby, that I will love the baby more, as its a different stronger love. But my love for my cat will not fade, and she wont become less important, whe i adopted her, i signed a paper promising that i would be her forever home, and i meant it. So, I will do my best to stick by my pets, through the good and the bad.

VenusKitty said:

I don't have kids myself, but it was no question for my stepmom when she brought home my sister nearly twelve years ago. There's a picture I love of baby Maggie's first day home from the hospital: my stepmom is watching and Maggie is sleeping in her car seat as the two cats (Millie and Pokey) and the German Shepherd (Saba) cautiously approach the tiny new "packmate." The animals have since crossed the Rainbow Bridge, but they were just as much family members when we buried them as they were when we brought them home. Now Maggie and our youngest sister, Sabrina, are pet lovers too (though I sadly think they prefer dogs, haha).
People don't always go crazy and abandon their pets when having kids. It is an adjustment for everyone, but it can have great results too.

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Awww, that is such a sweet story, thanks for sharing! When my sister in law brought home her baby, she also made sure the dogs could smell the baby. But after that she has ignored the dog and see him as less important now that she has a baby. She does nothing for that dog, my mom does everything for him.

Well my priorities did shift when my son was born. I still love my cat and his needs and wants are still met but I can't deny that the bond hasn't changed. Before my son if there was a fire I would've risked my own life to save my cat. Now...it would depend how bad the fire is because my higher priority is to not leave my 2 children as orphans. Does that mean I'll leave my cat in the house while I'm running out? No, I'll still probably miscalculate and spend more time than I "should" looking for him.

my cats n dogs are my babies since i don't have any kids yet i hope i don't end up like that

by the way i'm a mommy of 14 furry baby's teehee

odiakkoh said:

Well my priorities did shift when my son was born. I still love my cat and his needs and wants are still met but I can't deny that the bond hasn't changed. Before my son if there was a fire I would've risked my own life to save my cat. Now...it would depend how bad the fire is because my higher priority is to not leave my 2 children as orphans. Does that mean I'll leave my cat in the house while I'm running out? No, I'll still probably miscalculate and spend more time than I "should" looking for him.

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lol i loved your post, it made me laugh.

Mewlittle said:

my cats n dogs are my babies since i don't have any kids yet i hope i don't end up like that

by the way i'm a mommy of 14 furry baby's teehee

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i know, i dont have kids yet, i tell people my cat Kitty, is my first born baby.

wow, 14?!? how do you manage? i sometimes feel overwhelmed just with the one cat i have! lol You must really love animals, huh? Thats really sweet.

terestrife's quit >[color= rgb(24, 24, 24)]i know, i dont have kids yet, i tell people my cat Kitty, is my first born baby. [/color]

wow, 14?!? how do you manage? i sometimes feel overwhelmed just with the one cat i have! lol You must really love animals, huh? Thats really sweet. <

Yes I have 14 pets 12 cats 2 dachshunds i had 14 cats at one point that made it 16 in total lol I feed 2 a day morning and night some pets eat 3 times a day depeanding on there weight or health and I buy good cat food and dog food not that crap that people buy at kroger or walmart or any other stores I order online its endlessness of pet food hahahaha

Mewlittle said:

terestrife's quit >[color= rgb(24, 24, 24)]i know, i dont have kids yet, i tell people my cat Kitty, is my first born baby. [/color]

wow, 14?!? how do you manage? i sometimes feel overwhelmed just with the one cat i have! lol You must really love animals, huh? Thats really sweet. <

Yes I have 14 pets 12 cats 2 dachshunds i had 14 cats at one point that made it 16 in total lol I feed 2 a day morning and night some pets eat 3 times a day depeanding on there weight or health and I buy good cat food and dog food not that crap that people buy at kroger or walmart or any other stores I order online its endlessness of pet food hahahaha

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sounds overwhelming. lol im really glad you take good care of them. if i was financially capable, im sure i would have adopted more pets by now. but i dont want to bring in more pets, if i cant give them the care they need, you know?

terestrife said:

sounds overwhelming. lol im really glad you take good care of them.

if i was financially capable, im sure i would have adopted more pets by now. but i dont want to bring in more pets, if i cant give them the care they need, you know?

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actually I don't have much money if i had more i'll take in more teehee and buy the better cat food on the site I buy whats on sale on the site but I make sure its good food first by looking at the ingrediants and the reviews then I google it then i TCS it hahaha all my cats except Blanket was born in the family when I was 4 and the rest I and my family saved from starvation and abuse and the dogs from being put down and abuse all the pets are happy and healthy <as far as I know my vet sucks most of the time.

Mewlittle said:

actually I don't have much money if i had more i'll take in more teehee and buy the better cat food on the site I buy whats on sale on the site but I make sure its good food first by looking at the ingrediants and the reviews then I google it then i TCS it hahaha all my cats except Blanket was born in the family when I was 4 and the rest I and my family saved from starvation and abuse and the dogs from being put down and abuse all the pets are happy and healthy <as far as I know my vet sucks most of the time.

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lol So long as they are eating and are taken care of thats all that matters. Thats really sweet of you and your family to try and save the animals that you can.

I have money put aside in case i need to take Kitty to a vet in an emergency. But i wouldnt be able to afford feeding two cats, at least not right now. But i do want 1-2 more cats in the future. i just love them so much.

We got our pit bull a month after our daughter was born. My husband thought I was crazy to add a dog to the mix so soon but it felt right. My daughter and our dog are now best friends. I even got their pictures done professionally for their one year birthday together. Then our kitten came along this July who was just like another baby because she was only two weeks and I had to bottle feed her every two hours or so. And now just yesterday I adopted two cats from the humane so society that I pick up today. My pets nor my daughter are neglected. They all are well taken care of and get lots of love. My dog loves my daughters attention. My 20 week old kitten isn't in love with my daughter but stand her picking her up and rolling on her and the cat will roll on her in return and bump heads with her then run away. She bats her all the time but never uses her claws and is amazing for a baby. The cat and dog love each other and have bonded from the beginning because my dog tried playing mommy and took over cleaning the kitten at 2 weeks and sleeping with her and now they play and run around.

Now I just have to worry about introducing these two new cats who are both 6 months. I have a thread under "behavior" so any input would be great! No one has responded yet =[

terestrife said:

lol So long as they are eating and are taken care of thats all that matters. Thats really sweet of you and your family to try and save the animals that you can.

I have money put aside in case i need to take Kitty to a vet in an emergency. But i wouldnt be able to afford feeding two cats, at least not right now. But i do want 1-2 more cats in the future. i just love them so much.

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thats cool Thanks I keep having pet emergancys like almost every month I make sure the animals have food then us people have food then me and my family does what comes after that

Mewlittle said:

my cats n dogs are my babies since i don't have any kids yet i hope i don't end up like that

by the way i'm a mommy of 14 furry baby's teehee

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Well I don't regret "ending up like that". My cat will be fine without me, my children would not be.

Meh, I think there is a difference between prioritizing your children over your pets (which is biologically sane) and simply ceasing to care about or pay attention to your pet (which is animal neglect). Clearly you still love your cat- I mean, you're here! I don't think those described in the original post care, though, and I have seen others in similar situations.