HELP - Jus picked up an alley cat and need help!!

alleymay

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Hello everyone: 

We plucked a cat out of an alley a week ago; since then, he's been to the vet's, neutered, de-flead, de-wormed, and we're still working on his bowel movements with medication and probiotics (started with liquid diarrhea, and we're now at the cow patty stage). We named him Griffin, and he's a year old.  When we brought him to the vet's, you'd think he would have been wild with fear; after a general exam and 2 blood draws, he literally fell asleep in my arms.  Just so you don't think this is my first time around, we had a wonderful girl  cat for 21 years who passed away 2 years ago.

When we first brought Griffin home after all the vet stuff, we kept him in our guest bedroom for 3 days (with food, water, litter box, a few toys and as much company as he would tolerate).  When we let him loose in our small house, he acclimated very quickly and found his happy spots.  Overall, he's very mellow, and doesn't bite, scratch or hide.  He uses his litter box very well, and loves his food (special stuff for his bowels from the vet). 

Although he wasn't chipped or neutered, I know he must have lived with someone at some point; he's not wild, he used the litter box at the vet's right away, and when he first walked into my kitchen, he started counter surfing for food. Obviously, there's no telling how long he's been on the street.

Here's where we don't know what to do for him: he doesn't like to be touched or picked up.  He'll come around to be petted (only by me, and I guess that's because I work from home and take care of him the most), sit on my lap for a few minutes, maximum, then move away. For those few minutes when he lets me pet him, he purrs like mad.  If we go to touch him, he protests every time (not a hiss, growl or swat, but an irritated sound).  We try to engage him in play 2-3 times a day, and sometimes he's interested, other times he'll just sit and watch us.  When I talk to him, he gives me that sweet, cat blink. Mostly, though, he keeps to himself and doesn't enjoy human contact much.

Is this typical behavior for an alley cat? Is there something more I could be doing?  Is this aloofness related to not trusting humans?  Any help from you would be GREATLY appreciated!
 

carolina

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This is normal for A cat.
Cats come in all types of personalities.... some are lap cats, others aren't. Some love petting, but will not sit on your lap.... Some can be carried, but will not sit on you.... Some need a distance, some don't....
I have 3 cats with 3 very different personalities.
Hope is absolutely skittish - she is my little semi-feral. She gets startled easily, and will run away from me if I approach her standing up. On the other hand, she is the only one who is a huge lap cat - if I am sitting or laying down, she is on the top of me, licking me raw :love:
Bugsy is as sweet as honey - LOVES pets. He needs to be next to me at all times - NEXT to me. He needs to have his distance though. He is not, nor will ever be a lap cat - thank goodness, as he is a giant :lol3: He will sleep on the bed next to me, but will always keep a distance. If I hug him, he will walk away, then come back making sure he is "JUST" close enough. :lol3:
Then there is my :princess: Lucky - Demands attention and pets - not a lap cat - BUT will come to my lap IF I put a pillow on it - so she will sit on the top of the pillow which in turn is on the top of my lap, but not on the top of my lap :rolleyes: Loves to be carried as a baby, to be kissed, to play hide and seek..... Gives me tons of headbumps.... But nope, not a lap cat either.

All of them are sweet.... all of them are loving in their own way - that is the thing with cats: They don't come the way we want - the world works on their terms :lol3:
Sounds like you have a very sweet and loving kitty, who just has its own normal personality..... like with everything, your relationship will also grow and strengthen with time.
The only thing I can tell you is, don't force yourself on her - let her guide you to her on her own terms. Watch her carefully and follow the lead - let her come to you. Cats work way better that way :nod:
 
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minka

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Sounds like a bit of being out on his own, and a bit of his personality. Just let him come to you. :nod: If he doesn't want to be pet, don't do it. If he doesn't want to be picked up, put him down. If he wants to leave, let him go. It's always best to leave them wanting more love than running away from it. :nod::nod::nod:
 
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alleymay

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Thanks for all your good advice!
 
 
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alleymay

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Thank you!
 
 
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alleymay

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Thank you so much!
 

catmom5

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It is always best if you let the cat dictate the terms of the relationship. Griffin has already settled in more than I would expect, so be grateful for the times he's ready for contact and let him decide when,  how much and how fast.

Cats are very much individuals. I have 3 litter mates and at 9 years old, they continue to be very different personalities and very different in what they will tolerate. They are just being who they are.

Oh, and thanks for taking him in and giving him such a wonderful home.

catmom5
 
 
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alleymay

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It is always best if you let the cat dictate the terms of the relationship. Griffin has already settled in more than I would expect, so be grateful for the times he's ready for contact and let him decide when,  how much and how fast.

Cats are very much individuals. I have 3 litter mates and at 9 years old, they continue to be very different personalities and very different in what they will tolerate. They are just being who they are.

Oh, and thanks for taking him in and giving him such a wonderful home.

catmom5
 
Thank you, Catmom5!
 

feralvr

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Thank you for taking Griffin in!!!! Honestly, after only one week, I think you are making great progress. As the others have said, all cats come with varying innate personalities, feral born or not. I would be happy with what you have so far and enjoy this long process ahead of you. Who knows what kind of treatment, good or bad, he received before you. :dk: Let Griffin be in charge of when and how much attention he is willing to tolerate and/or give. I think he will surprise you someday. :D :vibes::vibes::vibes::vibes::vibes::vibes:
 
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alleymay

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Thank you for taking Griffin in!!!! Honestly, after only one week, I think you are making great progress. As the others have said, all cats come with varying innate personalities, feral born or not. I would be happy with what you have so far and enjoy this long process ahead of you. Who knows what kind of treatment, good or bad, he received before you.
Let Griffin be in charge of when and how much attention he is willing to tolerate and/or give. I think he will surprise you someday.
Thank you so much for your feedback!
 

otto

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Congratulations on the rescue! Griffin will need time to learn to love and trust is all. He may never be a lap cat, but then again, he may just decide to.

Just give it time. My Mazy cat didn't let me touch her for over a year. By the third year she was getting on me for about a minute at a time. Now, she's been here almost 8 years and she sleeps on my chest any time I am on the couch, and in my arms at night.

She still doesn't like hands coming at her though.

None of my cats like being picked up. I pick them up at least once a day, then put them right back down, just to show them nothing bad will happen, but they all hate it. :lol3:

Welcome to TCS! :wavey:
 
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alleymay

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Congratulations on the rescue! Griffin will need time to learn to love and trust is all. He may never be a lap cat, but then again, he may just decide to.
Just give it time. My Mazy cat didn't let me touch her for over a year. By the third year she was getting on me for about a minute at a time. Now, she's been here almost 8 years and she sleeps on my chest any time I am on the couch, and in my arms at night.
She still doesn't like hands coming at her though.
None of my cats like being picked up. I pick them up at least once a day, then put them right back down, just to show them nothing bad will happen, but they all hate it.

Welcome to TCS!
Hi Otto:  Thanks for the feedback!  Griffin seems to be warming up overall, and I am definitely letting him set the pace.  He visits me on my bed in the middle of the night for petting and purring, hangs out for a while, then leaves...comes back a few hours later for some more.  He's precious.
 

feralvr

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Great, great update!! :clap::clap::clap: Nighttime bed snuggles are always the best way to get them bonding with you FAST. Very precious, indeed. :rub: :)
 
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alleymay

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Thank for so much for the feedback!
 
 
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