Neighbor doing it all wrong

catsareok

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hello all

                My neighbor 60 years old, took over his parents house, Mary rest her sole, they have a cat Nick, a female, she fed her every night, when was cold would call her when eating time, and to come in, oh she is outdoors 90% of the time, now her son, puts all this food out, because he thinks he is helping the strays, ferral, what ever they are, because they are hungry, Nick is getting hurt, sleeping on our porch, we put a bed out, every ohter week she has some kind of war wound, I got mad at the neighbor doug,  at night there are sometimes 3 to 6 cats fighting, even whe I was talking to him, daylight  2 of them were at the food, having a face off, really mad, Nick trys to stay away, he does not get it leaving the food out at night, talking 2 big bowls, and what is happening to nick, I am ready to call the city animal control,

I feel bad yelling at the guy.. are there any articles I can give him to read.. This is not good, Oh you may have seen me on her before, I have found homes for other cats in the past, new ones show up.. one day we are going to find one or more dead in the street, we are in a tight neighborhood, not the country... any suggestions how to get this across to him, this guy worries about people leaving there trash out a day early, and his called the city on many neighbors fro one thing or another.. thanks for any input  Rick
 
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catsareok

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sorry about the wording, and spelling, another note, I was mad when I talked to him, it has bothered me for awhile, after this talk, I did not see nick, his cat, he is probably really mad at me.. I will apoligize tongiht, Am I wrong here? he thought nothing of it when 2 of them were at the food, they were ready to go at it. he says oh there ok.. one walking really slow with this howl, right in the other ones face. and it just sat there against the garage. his cat nick was in my yard sitting there. one other thing, we were sitting in my backyard 2 weeks ago.. his cat nick sat by him, gave out this howl jumped up and bit him in the elbow, what do you think that was about, that cat never did that to us.. he was just sitting there... I think she is mad at him.. told him her face was all swollen with a hole in it.after our chat last night, I did not see nick at all. hmmmm where did nick go.. and I said to him., nick is a cat you and i both take care of, and I do more so I say she is my cat.. no tags on it.. sorry people I do not think I am totally wrong here,. any adivice to give him and me.
 

StefanZ

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You got to talk with him, and talk again. Friendly and diplomatic.  That is the only way, unless your authority is so big he will do as you wish anyway.   :)

So yes, if necessary, be humble and say you are sorry for your short temper.

He is probably meaning well in his clumpsy way, giving food to the hungry, so they dont need to go onto trash bins.   But this well wishing must be disciplined and directed, if you do want to do it the right way.

Coupled with TNR etc...

Good luck!
 
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catsareok

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I am going to try again tonight, you are absolutely right, he wants to feed the hungry, and think nothing is wrong with it. getting very bad. he thinks he means well. I may call his sister, maybe she can help.. thanks
 

bastfriend

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I wish you luck Catsareok - I've been and kind of am in your position now.   It is very difficult - the only way to get through at all is to appeal to his  idea of himself as someone who cares about animals.    I tried till it broke my heart to get through to my neighbor last year and I did accomplish a few things, but not everything I'd hoped for and am dealing with consequences now.     Just do what you can and forgive yourself if you can't do it all.
 
 
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catsareok

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thanks  I talked to him calmly, do you believe that... anyway there are mainly the 2 cats white and black, and a tiger one like his (nick)

he fed one today, he said he wants to get them fixed, and checked out.. very good, ,the guy means well, he cannot get nick to come in  he said,  and asked us to stop feeding her, and giving her treats, which I agreed  he is right in a way, cannot get her in the house, he knows its getting cold, and wants to get her.. but she won't  so we took away her bed  we had out there, and he said he would not leave the food out at night, just let the 2 that are coming around eat.. and put the food away.. ok

 we also talked about getting them some kinda of shelter for the winter.. question is would they both get along? where do we put it.. talkinf about straw  and a light buld to keep them warm.. very good progress.. the guy likes anoimals and so do I... any suggestions now.. thanks for the help.. we had a nice chat..
 

feralvr

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Good work on your part, talking calmly to this person about Nick. Sounds like he has good intentions and just doesn't know how to go about it the right way. I would first suggest googling Trap/Neuter/Return Organizations in your local county. Hopefully there are a few. Make some calls and get some information and give it to this guy. You can only do so much and I love Bastfriends comments above. Do what you can and forgive yourself for not being able to do more. SO TRUE!!! As far as the winter shelters go, I would see about getting two of them. Here is a link on how to make your own fairly inexpensively too. http://www.urbancatleague.org/WinterCatShelters That way each cat will hopefully have their own option in case they don't get along. I hope that your neighbor can get Nick indoors for the winter. You have a good caring heart. :hugs:
 
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