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what's going on here people?

post #1 of 37
Thread Starter 
i've noticed a lot of blahblahblah going on here... where's the action?

in the 'furry mice' thread? let me just say, i read through that thread and was really disturbed
by the all mighty, overly powerful, righteous, smothering opinions,
i'm all for opinions and diversity, but, is there any need to make others feel
badly because they dont make the same decisions you do, or have different views? i dont think so.

come on!!!

i'm with Colby when i say, yup, i still buy them, i have no problems with buying them,
and that shouldnt be a problem for anyone else.

it certainly doesnt make either one of us bad people, sheesh!
i'm not going to get my panties in a knot whilst debating if they are made out
of rabbit, cat, dog, or fox hair, there are too many other bigger problems going on,
and not every issue has the merrit for a crusade, or bandwagon.

i'm a little dissapointed with the threads i see happening here, where is the conversation?
the inititave? what are we giving to one another here, besides another party, another blob-o-rama?

i dont feel like i'm really getting to know anyone here,
and i think things are getting a little too boring
these days.

i know 'boring' is a hard word to take in, and you will react defensively but, tell me you see it too, how can you not?

everything seems to be headed in a repetitve cycle, and thats just 'drivel' (as a dear friend put it).

let's see... what issues affect you? abortion, religion, life, love, death, community, family?

surely, all of the above.

what's your opinion?
post #2 of 37
Couldn't have said it better myself
post #3 of 37
"overly powerful, righteous"

Interesting choice of words, I don't really see that here. What I do see are a group of people sharing a common passion...Cats, and giving small glimpses into their lives.

Furry Mice affect me (mildly) because they offend me, they affect my cats, and after all...this is TheCatSite.

Maybe being out of town for the week-end I missed all the boring posts, but I love this site, and look forward to reading the Forums every day.

With all due respect, I get enough Politics, Religion, Womens issues, Gang Violence, etc. from the news, and just in my every day life.
I come to this site to talk and read about Cats, and to hear whats up in everyones lives.

post #4 of 37
I really miss the threads where we got to know each other, like opinions on movies, (the book thread is great by the way and I'm so glad that it has continued to thrive)and other issues.

The daily thread was great, because it gave a glimpse into everyones life. I'm just as guilty for not starting it. I did almost everyday for awhile but then things got away from me and I stopped.

We don't really talk that much about issues that are controversial (probably because when we do, people don't respect others opinions), and I think that is too bad. There is so much to learn from each other. Again, I'm just as guilty of that. I posted my opinion in the furry mice thread & then felt slammed because it didn't mesh with everyone elses opinion. It makes me not want to post anything that is in contradiction to anyone else, for fear of being belittled. I know that we are more mature than that. I was offended by something else in that thread and didn't respond that time around because after a while you start to feel like it's not even worth it. That makes me sad. I want to feel things, anger, happiness, but not indifference.

post #5 of 37
Right now I could use boring. I love to hear about the cats in people's lives, and how they cope with everything coming their way. I don't see much merit in say discussing views of abortion here. That is one controversial subject that is best left buried deep. This board is supposed to be an escape from everyday life and if coming here means I need to start posts worthy of a college debate team, then I won't come here anymore. My plate is pretty full with reality and I am not talking reality television shows either.

The bulletin boards all have their slow points and strong times. It is getting into the time of year where everyone is busy and good weather is calling us outside. So if Amanda wants to talk about her vet visit, or Frannie the woes of visiting relatives, I am all ears. I get intellectually stimulated in my daily life, and though I wouldn't catagorize recent posts as boring or repetitive, I will say they are calm and almost flame-free. Sometimes my brain just needs a vacation and coming here allows me to relax and be with friends.
post #6 of 37
AP is right "Indifference" is what is wrong with the World today. It is also the reason pets are abandoned, tortured or neglected; why teens commit suicide; babie are aborted; and marriages end in divorce (before even trying to "mend").

Dear God, If I have been guilty of "Indifference" in the past; please forgive me, and help me to trust (and express) my feelings openly without fear of repercussion.(sp?)


Let me also admit that I enjoy not having to take sides all the time and just ejoy meeting "New Friends" and sharing some of life's "Guilty Pleasures" and just hauling off and "Laughing" over "stupid", but very "needful" LITTLE THINGS. . . .
post #7 of 37

no worries! you are never indifferent! you & I have always been able to have conflicting opinions (maddog from survivor II for instance) and always come out respecting each other
post #8 of 37

I'll say I am here for a little daily diversion. I am interested in the comings and goings of the people here. I'd post a few more exciting things myself, but if my life was a big thrill-o-rama, I don't know that I'd be spending a whole lot of time here.

I'll be happy to jump in and give my views on any issue you'd care to discuss. But, come on Blue, if things are that heated over furry mice, then it could be all-out war on other issues! Personally, I try to stay kinda neutral on stuff. My big mouth has been known to get me into trouble on more than one occasion. Thank God I don't type as fast as I talk.

On a personal note, Blue, whatever happened with the appointment with the school counselor?
post #9 of 37
Now, I'm really offended! Just kidding!

Personally, I think it's fine if somebody pours out their heart in a post. I can tell when it's heart-pouring as opposed to arrogance or malicious "gotcha" stuff. Can't everyone else?

I enjoy starting threads dealing with off-the-wall research ("All blondes to Scotland") or what I consider to be interesting subject matter. Light-hearted threads are fine with me! As are "serious" ones.

What I can't abide is the heartless deconstruction of a post, interspersed with "gotcha" pronouncements. There are post-deconstructions which are done with compassion, but there are too many which are made so as to humiliate an "offending" board member.

So, there!

post #10 of 37
Well guys, I have always expressed my opinion. But when someone's opinion centers around one's habits, addictions, appearances or becomes demeaning and downright insulting, then it's no longer an opinion. It is a prejudice.

As for the repetitiveness in the threads, I'm with Blue and AP. There doesn't seem to be much conversation anymore, only debates. To be honest, it's getting very old very fast. I too, look forward to ODT, and finding out more about people, their cats and their lives, not arguing and insulting someone's physique, eating habits or dependencies.

I also like when we can talk about stuff in the news and discuss it as human beings.

So let's get back to what it's really all about - cats and what's going on in our lives and our cats life and daily news in general.

post #11 of 37
Well I never noticed anything, of course even though I posted in that thread, I didn't keep up with it. So I will have to go back and read. Anyway, I am sorry to say I never experienced The Cat Lounge when it was "better" (I was always in the Behavior part). From what everyone is saying it sounds like a cool little place. I hope we can get it back to that. Everyone seems very very kind and I am interested in getting to know y'all and your kitties despite our differences!
post #12 of 37
Okay, for the first time ever, here, I feel offended...okay, maybe the second time here....but seriously....

Blue....sorry if things are boring here for you....yes a good discussion does make for good conversation...but I, for one, would prefer NOT to discuss subjects such as abortion, here.

This is a cat website. I don't want to come here, and find a thread about abortion, and make myself feel any worse about what I did 18 years ago....

Sorry if any of you disagree with me, and maybe I should just leave...but geeesh....BORING?????????? I think coming here and not having to face all of our mistakes, and just talk about our love for cats is anything but boring!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
post #13 of 37

Right on!!! Like I said in my post, I agree with AP and Blue about not too many conversations going on lately, only debates and arguing. I think sex, politics, religion and all that other stuff should be left out of it. Daily news stuff should be okay PROVIDING it is discussed as human beings.

Word of advice...If there is a particular subject that you don't care to remark on, don't post on it.

I don't think abortion has any place in this website and I'm sure most people would agree. There are chat rooms that people can visit who want to talk that kind of stuff and argue about it. Let them go there. And as a bumper sticker I saw recently said "Against Abortion?? Don't Have One" says it all.

Let's get back to what this cat site it about please!!!!! Cats, cat people, cat subjects and friends.

post #14 of 37
Thread Starter 

the idea was not to get into a heated arguement, Debby & Cleo, rather to express what
i see happening here at the site, and frankly i dont care if i offended you with my input,
simply because it wasnt directed at any one person.

i think the two of you took my comments personally, which wasnt intended.

Debby, you think i want to discuss abortion because i want to draw out some painful
past experience you had (which i didnt even know about) ? give me a little credit, please.

when i suggested more conversations, i was just throwing out ideas,
wasnt that clear? i dont know why all of you picked out abortion and politics
and made it out to seem as though i am not interested in your daily lives,
because i am, i am very interested.

what i am interested in is a little more spice, and not so much repetiveness.

i want to know how everyone feels, mainly about the following things:


the important things, you know?

in saying this, i am also not saying that is all i want to talk about, of course.
simply, those are a few examples of things i think would help me to get to know
everyone else better. besides, i care about everyone elses views.

when i threw in abortion and religion it wasnt because i'm dying to discuss those issues,
i have had my share of lengthly talks on these subjects, they were only two examples
out of a few.

that is what i meant by saying, where's all the convesation?
post #15 of 37
Thread Starter 
...and this is a cat website, but, the cat lounge in my opinion, is more then
just conversations about cats and our love for cats. that is what brought us all here,
but, that isnt the only subject, you know?

and if it is, i wouldnt have stayed this long, because there are only so many times
i can tell you how much i love my cats, or, how proud i am of them,
mostly, although i do talk about them, i like to keep my adoration of them between me,
the cats (of course) and Cameron.

Debby, i'm sorry you were so offended by my suggestions, but, i do find it odd.

i also find it strange that you would act so angrily toward me, as though it was my intention
to set out and hurt you. maybe, you dont read me so well. or anyone else here for that matter.

personally, i would be more offended by the food issue in the 'furry mice' thread,
then i would by someone expressing a few suggestions that are meant to help, not harm.
post #16 of 37
Ok, Blue, here's my take once again. I am with you as far as opening up discussions on "deeper" topics, and not those that are necessarily politically heated.

As to the so-called "fluff" threads, yes, sometimes they are a little boring (did I say that?) to read, and sometimes it seems like 50 people saying the same "rah rah" response. But in looking at the big picture, I can also admit to feeling a little warm place in my heart when somebody gives enough of a hoot to post a pat on the back for whatever the small thing might be. For example, I can't believe that anyone would want to look at my lame photography of my little piece of crap house, but people's posts seem to be genuinely sincere. That's what makes this site unique to me.

I'll admit it, if I'm not in the mood to read all those posts, I don't sometimes. But I do like to remember others because they have remembered me.

As to any of your other topics, bring 'em on, baby. There is nobody who likes to put their $.02 more than me (sorry if I don't know the exact Canadian exchange rate on that money).
post #17 of 37
P.S. Because you were posting while I was typing, I agree with you as far as the lounge goes. If I had to confine posts to cat stuff only, I wouldn't be at 950 posts. One thing I have decided since coming here is that I must own 2 of the world's most boring cats. I can only tell the few stories I have so many times. I've run dry already. I like discussing other things because that's how we have come to know each other better.
post #18 of 37
I'm sorry Blue, that I took offense by you saying how boring it was here...I never meant to hurt your feelings, you mean the world to me, Blue...I am sorry for this whole misunderstanding....let's just forget it. Please!
post #19 of 37
But on the same turn...if I ever come here and discover an abortion thread...or anything equally as out of place in a cat website....I will delete it.
post #20 of 37
That makes sense and I'm sure everyone else could understand that. We have all had bad things happen to us to where we just cringe at the topic.
I had a guy friend that I was on a date with a few years back try to jump on a train while intoxicated and not make it. I had gone across the street for 5 min., came back and saw the aftermath. To this day I can't hear, see or be around a train or watch a movie with a train in it.
And I hope no one here will ever experience such a tragedy, we all have our things we cringe over that bring up a lot of pain. Sometimes people thing we're overreacting even though inside we are feeling pain. We're all human and we all make choices whether good or bad. Please don't feel bad!
:flower: :flower: :flower:
post #21 of 37
Thank you Chloe!
post #22 of 37
I'm not sure why I was singled out in your post, but it bothers me.

You said you werent singling out anyone, then said that frankly you didn't care if you offende Debby or myself. Maybe I misunderstood that, but it sounded like we WERE being singled out?

In my reply to your original post, I wasn't being heated or argumentative, I just said I personally didn't see people here as being overly "powerful or righteous" , and stated why I come here and enjoy it...
Cats, and the people who love them!

I don't mind more powerful topics, but as we all can see...they can cause trouble, and I have plenty of that in my life already :laughing2: so I enjoy hearing about other people lives, the good and the bad.

Anyway, not trying to cause more discontent, just want to clear this up and move on.


post #23 of 37
I agree w/ Blue, too!! :tounge2: Let's start a fun topic instead of something where people get offended by certain subjects!!
post #24 of 37
I'm new to this forum, and a little confused about the mixed opinions I just read. It seems to me that if you want to degate, you can, or you can choose to reply to less controversial posts. I saw a disturbing show on Animal Planet last week, about the ASPCA police in New York. A man burned some of his cat's whiskers because it had misbehaved. He thought he was being arrested for a misdemeanor, happily it was a felony. I just don't understand how anyone could be so cruel to such a wonderful creature. My cat is definitely queen of the house, and we wouldn't have it any other way!
post #25 of 37
But there are some people in the world that lack the conscience some of us have when it comes to animals. I have had cats pass through here that have been beaten, starved, near-drowned, crucified, burned. Everytime I get the call to come and get another one and I see what someone has done to such an innocent creature, my heart just breaks in half. it really boggles the mind to think of someone in that sort of mindset out to do evil.
post #26 of 37

It makes me sad, too, when I read stories about animal abuse. To think that someone could hurt any animal is beyond comprehention. It is sickening. No animal or person should have to be put thru something like that!!!
post #27 of 37
Here's my take on things -

There is more to the forums then the lounge. I think that the other forums are getting along just wonderfully with lots of questions and lots of advice - I learn a lot from them. To me they are the core of the forums.

The lounge was meant to be a place were we can relax and get to know each other. I am very happy with the way it has evolved into a real community where people feel comfortable enough with each other to share even the more trivial aspects of life.

Boring is a matter of opinion, as different people have different fields of interest. Personally, I enjoy reading on most topics as what matters to me is not the topic itself but the posts and their tone. For example, one might think that a thread about hair removal methods would be extremely boring, yet I thought it was one of the funniest I've read here. What made me enjoy it was the fun posts and that certain something that's very hard to point...

Anyone can start a thread about anything - if the subject is deemed inappropriate or offensive, it might be closed down by a moderator. I am happy to say this was never needed and I hope we'll never have to.

To me, there is a special spirit in the forums that I'd really like to keep going. It's a spirit of compassion and understanding and not wanting to hurt each other. Sure, everyone can have a bad day or a bad post and it's okay to have a difference of opinions. But in the end we all must remember that there are real people on the other side of the monitor screen and that these are good people (all cat lovers remember ).

Just my 2 cents.
post #28 of 37
Deb25, I just had to say, that I for one, truelly enjoyed seeing picutures of your pad! I find it extremely interesting to see where you live (especially that beautiful atrium!)and I was glad that you posted them.

I only post when I am sincere, and if I don't feel it, then I don't post. not to say that if I don't post at something it's because I have no sincerity, but I may not have any feelings about it one way or the other, or I may not know how to articulate what I want to say, or maybe I'm afraid of posting a conflicting view point. there are many reasons I won't post, but if I do, it's always sincere.

the shaving thread was fun because we got goofy & posted silly things. sometimes it just flows like that. it seems like all the planets have to line up for that to happen.

I really don't believe that Blue intended to offend anyone. She was just giving her opinions, as we all do here. And I thought she gave them in a non-confrontational, mild, matter of a fact way. We're not always going to agree, but the important thing is to respect each other & I think she gave her opinions with respect. She offered some suggestions, nothing personal to anyone. I would hate to think that this thread would cause rifts, when all she was trying to do was make some suggestions about what she would like to see to make this forum better. As Anne pointed out, it's all subjective, and that was her view, and it doesn't feel like she's the only one.

If we all have to be afraid of saying something because people are going to jump to conclusions & take it personally, than this board is going to get boring real fast. When I post, I'm not looking for someone to tell me what I want to hear, or to agree with me if that isn't their opinion. I know I'm afraid to post things that people are going to have different opinions of, because of what the after math may be. that sucks. I want to do more than go to posting parties, be the 12th one in line to post some obligitory comment and try to find different words to post the same sentiment that everyone else before me has said.
post #29 of 37
Okay...here's the official Dumb Man opinion. I view this forum as an extended conversation. Somewhat like a family reunion where the members are gathered from all over the world. I can drift from group to group,listen to the subject and join in if I wish..move on if I don't.

As for this being a cat site..I see lots of stuff here about our little friends and love it..but the thing I enjoy greatly about this site is the fact that it is much less restrictive in it's content than other sites I belong to. Even tho I am hopelessly lost about some of the issues you GIRLS bring up... :tounge2:
Never the less I always enjoy the challenge of deciphering the female mind.

Blue...if you want discussions on whatever subjects..throw them in there. Don't wait for someone else or expect them to read your mind.
I know that you are having a hard time and have past issues to deal with...so have the rest of us. I'll admit I was somewhat surprised,given all the support and comfort that you have recieved here,that you would send such a peevish post. Ok,we'll write it off to a bad day and forget about it. I might suggest an old trick my Grandmother taught me...when you feel an angry impulse;write it down on paper,then let that letter sit for a day.Go back the next day and re-read what you've written..if you still feel the same..send it. If not,destroy the letter and carry on.

Debbie,et al....please don't run away from us because you feel hurt. That is no answer. Stay and express your hurt feelings,get it out. I think you will find that most often it's just a misunderstanding. with all the technology it is still very difficult to express an emotion with only a few typed words. Consider that a book by a skilled author can be interpreted differently by each reader. I see no-one here who would willingly cause you pain or sorrow...they are just not that kind of people.

Now,finally,I'm gonna start you women folk sharpening your man-skinning knives by starting a new thread entitled A Man's View of Relationships. Feel free to come out swinging. I will not feel hurt..I know you're all secretly in love with me anyways. :tounge2:
post #30 of 37
Thread Starter 

basically i just want to respond to what affected me in your post, and get my point
of view out there.

as you should know by now, i am not someone that sits around and waits for someone
else to start threads about the things i want to discuss, i am constantly starting threads
about things i think are interesting, or funny, or light, or whatever.

i give a lot to this site.

i just get a little tired of it sometimes, and am just not up to it, it comes to the point
where i just need a break.

the idea of this thread was very simple. i wanted to, for one, get my opinion out there, and for two,
and get input back from everyone else.

i refuse to walk on eggshells at this site, and be afraid of controversy, or stating my opinion,
and i dont think anyone else should have to be afraid of that either.

i wasnt having a bad day, nor was i suggesting that my life was lacking stimulation or excitement,
simply put, this site is lacking those elements, and because i'm here, and i'm involved here,
and i see where things are at and where they seem to be going,
i thought a conversation about it was in order to see if i was the only one noticing.

i dont see the relevance of your statement about the support that has been given to me
during hard times, nor, the relevance of anyone elses hard times ?

what are you saying?

if i discuss personal issues here, or dark ones, it isnt because i need sympathy or pity,
or even support, my life is full of wonderful people that i can lean on,
when i start those threads i do so for two simple reasons:

to hopefully help others dealing with the same problems (i.e. depression)
and catharsis; writing about things is a way for me to release stress, and pain, and
a thousand other emotions that would otherwise pull me down.

i appreciate every single kind & sincere gesture, believe me, i think we have some
wonderful and amazing people at this site, some of who i feel lucky to call my friends,
but i will not kiss anyones a$$, you know?

i didnt see the need to think on my post overnight, dwelling on whether or not
i wanted to post it, because, it wasnt meant to be personal, it wasnt meant to hurt anyone,
it was meant to shed light on some things i've been thinking about.


you and Debby were singled out because i felt the two of you were the ones that
reacted most negatively, sarcastically and defensively.

i didnt feel a whole lot of respect in your words, which is why you were singled out.


i posted about it in the Goals thread and then i lost it before it got submitted

i'll do so again in that thread

thanks for understanding my point.
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