Really down on myself...lost a healthy cat in a matter of days...HOW?!

So I have 2 babies, a tabby short haired domestic of 9 yrs and an orange and white Maine Coon/calico of 8 yrs (Taco)...both healthy that I knew of...although money got tight last 2 yrs I did admittedly skip their annual check ups, thinking since they are always indoors we'd be ok...

2 weeks ago Wednesday Taco was in the bathroom large cabinet, a fave place he loves to lay in...when he began sneezing like crazy, back to back to back quick sneezes, for a good minute, anyhow, I blew it off as allergies, he sneezed a few more times throughout the day but nothing major like the first round...by Saturday I noticed he was under our 3 yr olds bed and brought him a few treats and just check on him, I noticed his eye was runny a clear thin tear-like substance..by Monday it was brownish red and crusty but he had come out of hiding and was being social, so again i blew it off as a cold or allergies...he got real sick like this when i 1st brought him home from the shelter at approx 3 mos of age...then by Thursday his other eye was clear and runny and by Friday he was back under the bed, on Sunday eve he came in the bathroom while I was bathing our 3 yr old and he meowed and looked at the sink...Taco LOVES water! so i rushed to lift him on the sink because i took this as a good sign, out of hiding...drinking....whew, just a cold, but then i noticed how SKINNY he had gotten...like lost noticable POUNDS in just days?! and then he meows again because it seemed he was afraid to get down from the cabinet after his long drink....now mind you he has always for years LOVED drinking tons of water ( i know now the graveness of that)..anyhow life resumes and he doesnt seem to want to eat even his treats which he LOVES almost as much as water...i bring him bowls of water under the beds and he does drink from them each time...by Tues I see he know longer even leaves from under our bed, wont eat, just barely lifts his head..i call the vet and make an appt...we go to the vet Thur and by this time my precious Taco has rapidly declined, and i feel horrible for not taking him sooner, but as i mentioned he was "ok" just not his usual self...i tell the vet all this, they take him for vitals and come and tell me he is hypothermic...its like 95 degrees here on the Tx coast...wth?!? she..the vet then says his organs could be shutting down and she doesnt think its pneumonia...does blood work and urine tests ...negative on the feline leukemia/ HIV...but she says he has SOME not a lot but some fluid in his chest...not lungs but chest...could be CHF...cancer...kidney failure....will need to do xrays and ecko...she wanted to do a chest tap but they were closing and wouldnt have someone on that eve to monitor him after the procedure and I couldnt bear him being all along so we waited til the next morning for me to bring him back for the chest tap at 730 am....when my hubby and i had to rearrange the entire bedroom to get him out from under the bed he looked terrible and smelled like this strange smell we had noticed the past 2 days but couldnt pinpoint...he meowed horribly as i stroked him and assured him everything would be fine, we were gonna get him all better....i left him at the vet,getting down on the floor eye level with him in his carrier, touched his lil nose and again told him i loved him id be back and he was gonna be all better....

the vet called me at 1130 am to tell me he stressed out when they started to shave his chest for the tap...he wasnt breathing on his own they attempted to revive him but failed....i drove 40 miles in 25 minutes but I never saw him alive again....

HOW could I have been SO blind?! How could something like drinking water and a skinny tailbone have told me my otherwise healthy baby was about to die?! if I had taken him that eve to the emrgency clinic 45 miles away and did chest tap RIGHT then would it have helped...it was a small amt of fluid...would he have still stressed out? funny...he actually seemed better the night he came home after they had him warmed back up and gave him sub cutaneous iv and lasix...he stayed out in the living room with us for about 4 hrs...looking back i cant believe i didnt notice his lack of urinating...im just so lost and i dont get it...im 40 and theres just no rhyme or reason to my stupidity! i miss my cat terribly...

I should add, we were willing to spend whatever it tok to see him well, i probably wouldve sold my body to ensure his well being, lol....the intial diagnosis on the 1st vet trip Thursday was

CARDIAC ARRHYTHMIA

HYPOTHERMIA

PLEURAL EFFUSION

AZOTEMIA

the vet did all the necessary diagnostic profiles, electrolyte, blood count, urine analysis, etc...

Im waiting til they open tom. to get copies of the bloodwork etc so i will know what the levels/numbers were...
 

I'm so sorry about  your cat, but PLEASE don't beat yourself up.............you just can't know all the time.......if something goes wrong inside, it may not even show in the cat until the very end. it isn't  your fault. 

onFebruary 9th I took a perfectly healthy cat into the vet for a dental cleaning......when they out heron anesthetic her heart stopped....it took 2hours to stabilize her, but her brain never recovered and on February my husband gave the order to end the life  of my sweet sassycat........I couldn't even talk to the vet. There was nothing wrong with her when we took her in, no indication she was ill. none of us there that day could have known that her 7yr old heart would give out on a routine procedure, she was still fairly young.

There is no blame, and we still use the vet because the problem that killed sassy was internal..........and internal problems don't show up until the very end. There is no blame for your cat either..........it's all internal.

Please accept my heartfelt sympathies  

thank you so much, its just so hard to accept....here one minute and not the next.... I know Im not super woman but dang it...coulda woulda shoulda...sorry for the loss of your sassycat....its amazing how these lil furballs can take over our beds, homes and hearts!
 

i know...it was ages before I could sleep without sassy's 13lbs laying on my legs.......I even tried to train the new boy to sleep with me, but no such luck He's a late night hunter. i still think i see her...then realize it's just a black sweater or something...........and it all floods back all the things I love about her. i miss her fierce, it doesn't go away.....maybe fades a little, but it's always there.

You'll get through it too, but it will be so much harder if you blame yourself. you clearly love your baby

Hi welcome along to tcs

If you have any questions about the site please pm me and I will be happy to help

I'm so sorry about your cat! But it's not your fault they hide illness do well

Unfortunately, I'm an old hand at furkid loss.  Sometimes, things just sneak up on you, as in your case.

We have to try and look at the whole picture. I certainly don't want to step on any toes here, but for me, this is where I find my comfort:

These kids are not ours. They are treasures that are on loan to us ... and time together is marked. They may be in our lives for 20 years, and sometimes their time with us is very, very short. They are just like you and me...when their call Home comes, they must answer, as one day, so must we.

While they are with us, we love them, care for them, protect them, and do our best for them, but their call Home does come.

The first kitten in my life came to me when I was 17 years old.  He was a beautiful orange tabby, and I named him Tiger. I knew nothing about kittens. Nothing. My lessons came hard with Tiger. When he was just 9 months old, he died in my arms. His death was completely preventable. One hundred per cent my fault. No excuses, I'm to blame.

I did notice that when in his litter box, he would sit and sit and sit, and cry and cry and cry. After a couple of days, I took him to the vet. But it was too late. His urinary tract was completely blocked, and urine had backed up into his system. He died in my arms while I sat in the waiting room at the vet's office. Distraught does not even cover how I felt. The vet was an older man, and he took me into his office. He spent a long time with me, he had charts, he drew diagrams. He taught me. Answered my questions. He dabbed at my endless tears with a tissue. I am now 59 years old, and as I type this the pain, and the tears are all here at the surface.

When I was 35 years old, my 6 year old daughter bolted off the couch and ran outside in the middle of a rain storm. I was on her heels. She crawled under the bushes next to the front of the house, and pulled out this skinny, obviously sick kitten. We figured him to be about three weeks old. How he came to be in our bushes at that age is still a mystery. An unexpected treasure. I wrapped him up in a towel, and ran to my vet. Not the same kindly vet when I was 17, but a close second.

My vet was accustomed to me bringing in strays, and showed no surprise when I burst through the door that stormy afternoon. After he examined the kitten, he said, 'Annie, this kitten is sick, real sick. He has pneumonia, both lungs, his eyes are severally infected, his upper respiratory system is severally compromised, he's anemic from fleas, his ears are infested with mites, he's dehydrated, and he's full of worms.'  I just gave him a dead-pan look, and with a flat voice asked, 'And?' The vet said, 'The best thing you can do for this kitten is put him down.' Almost as though the kitten understood what was being discussed, he rolled over on his side and looked up at me through green encrusted eyes. I will never forget the expression in that kitten's eyes. Never. His message was clear...'Save me, I will love you forever.'

I asked the vet what would it take to mend this kitten. He said,' Lots of nursing, lots of meds, and a miracle.'  I said, 'Okay, you give me lots of meds, I will supply the nursing, and God will give us a miracle.' So, we came home with a pharmacy of meds, and a very sick, but alive kitten.

Two years later, I took this 'kitten' back to the vet. I named him Boscoe. He was gorgeous. Long blue hair with a plumed tail, britches, a white muzzle, four white feet, a white chest, and a white tummy with a streak of blue hair running the length of his tummy. He tipped the scales at 20 pounds!

When the vet entered the exam room, he smiled and asked, 'Well, who do we have here? Annie, this is a beautiful boy!'  I put a 'told you so' smile on my face and asked the vet if he remembered that sick kitten two years ago. He said yes, then stopped and said, 'Noooo!' I grinned and said, 'Yupp!'. I proudly said, 'Meet Boscoe, the miracle kitty!'

Getting on to business, the vet asked the routine questions: Why is Boscoe here today. I said I didn't know. Confused look from the vet, who asked if Boscoe was eating. I said yes. Another confused look from the vet, and he asked if Boscoe was acting normally. Another yes answer from me. I said that Boscoe is eating, drinking, and playful. Vet, still looking confused, again asked what are we looking for, then? I said I didn't know, just that something wasn't right. Vet asked me to give him a starting point. I said, okay, let's do the usual, fecal check, if that is clear, then let's do a blood test to look for infection. Both fecal and blood test came back normal. Vet asked what next. I said to do a urinalysis. Vet asked if Boscoe was showing signs of an UTI (urinary tract infection). I said nope. Vet shrugged, had a tech take Boscoe to the back room and extracted a urine sample. Tech brought Boscoe back to the exam room, and a few minutes later came back and reported all clear on the sample. I didn't say a word, just looked at my vet, who told the tech to look at it again. This happened two more times. The third time the tech came back, he said that he found the teeniest, smallest, most minute amount of blood in Boscoe's urine.

Vet looked at me, and said, 'Okay, Annie, here's what we're going to do. I'm going to give you a marked parking space in the lot, and give you your own exam room. I'm going to bring the pets in, pass them under your hands, and you will tell me what's wrong with them! How did you know that Boscoe had an UTI?' My eyes welled up with tears and quietly said, "Tiger told me.'  Of course, this made no sense to the vet until I told him Tiger's story. I told my vet that when Tiger died, and I learned that it was 100% my fault, I vowed to Tiger that I would learn from his suffering, and I would never, ever lose another cat to UTI ever again.

And in 24 years, I never have.

Tiger's death was my fault, yes. But I took that experience, turned it into a pathway toward education, and in 24 years, Tiger has saved 15 of my babies from senseless death. Tiger's death was my fault, but in the end, Tiger did not die in vain.

Moral...acknowledge your mistake, allow your grief, but take action, and turn that mistake into something good...then forgive yourself.

procatbreeder
 

Im in tears as I finish this, what a BEAUTIFUL touching story...THANK you...from the bottom of my heart, thank you!

I too vow to not make another mistake like that again....ever!

Thanks more than you know...it helps knowing other humans like me exist...lol
 

as i read this i cry. I almost lost my cat thursday to pyometra. Super preventable if she was fixed...but she wasnt. I now am struggling with getting her better and its very hard to do...stay strong dont blame yourself and just breathe. I had to remember that today as I had a meltdown at the vet...It all happens for a reason.

I am sorry for your loss of Taco.  Please remember how much you loved this cat and know that Taco felt your love.  At the time, you were always doing what you thought was best.  Sometimes things are not preventable.  Don't beat your yourself up.  It is hard to lose them and go on because it hurts so much.  In time, I hope your memories will be sweet and you will find peace and comfort in the knowledge that you loved him and he loved you.  Hugs.

My condolences. RIP, Taco.

Taco

Thanks so much to all of you! Been 2 weeks to day and secretly I still cry like a baby over my Taco...Im so grateful he isnt suffering anymore, and i will be so glad when Im not suffering either ...his bloodwork levels were off the charts, poor baby at least he didnt suffer longer than he did...his BUN count was 110!!!!

normal range is between 10-30 30 being the high limit! his potassium was 6.4,  5.8 is high for potassium...and now I feel as though Im on super heightened alert for any signs in our other cat, AK...

and pardon my language, but I'll be damned if we didnt go and do the unthinkable and ADOPT another cat! just shoot me now...lol... his name is Socks or soxy as our 3yr old calls him and omg he is the sweetest 8 yr old cat with us but he absolutely HATES our cat AK...and so now Im stressing on whether they are ever gonna be able to get along and live without a door separating them...I think I stress too much...lol

I shoulda got a goldfish....lol...Im too paranoid now with cats...lmao!

Thanks again to all...the love and laughter from this site helps the pain n my heart....

RIP Taco(bell) 9-21-12
 

So very sorry for your loss of Taco. AND, you know, everyone processes through grief differently and many do find that going out an giving another VERY needy kitty a loving home is the best way to honor your lost beloved kitty. There are SO many kitties that need a loving home and bless you for giving Sock (soxy ) a home. If you need help on introductions to your other resident kitties. PLEASE ask us to help. There is great threads, articles and suggestions here on site in the other forums, particularly the Behavior Forum.

Fly Freely Taco

It's no wonder your in shock, but like everyone has said, please don't beat yourself up

As for Socks, most of us have been there with new arrivals, so just ask for help regarding introductions

RIP TACO