Super frustrated, wanting to cry :(

Hi Everyone

I am hoping this post does not fall on deaf ears. Today has been immensely frustrating for me........ really this whole week, has been horrible.

As a lot of you know, I am currently in pre-med. What others may or may not know is that I also receive SSDI (Disability) benefits and recently have been healed of and recovered from the borderline personality disorder and bipolar disorder. Today, I receive my "CDR" (Continuing Disability Review) in the mail, and it informs me that they MAY deny immediately if I have been non-compliant with my doctors orders.I haven't seen my Dr or taken meds in nearly a year, I haven't needed them and have been doing so much better........ now I'm worried that without income, I don't know what will happen.

I can get a job, yes- however, I am in school full time and without transportation, I am limited to the very basic rider request transportation we have here. They don't run weekends, and only run until 5 PM at night. I have school Tues & Thur from 9 AM - 3 PM. This does leave Monday & Wednesday open...... but then again, most employers want you to work weekends & evenings, I doubt they will understand if I explain I have to rely on TAPS.

The next frustration is this: My dad informs me today (after months of being very supportive in me going back to school) that me wanting to go to med school is a "delusion of grandeur" or a "Grandiose Episode". And informs me that I have been doing much better, but now I am walking that fine line between doing "bad enough to still need disability and good enough to be cut off"......

I wonder, in the opinions surrounding us here- is it unrealistic for a 27 year old to have a goal of getting into med school? All I have ever wanted to do is be a doctor.............. and my entire life I was told I can't, because of grades--- but now it seems a possibility, unless I am completely delusional and not thinking straight......... maybe I am in some grandiose episode and just won't admit it.

The point is, I am super frustrated and quite possibly on the verge of tears. My hubby is basically being non-supportive, and the best friend I do have- isn't answering his phone right now.

Thanks for listening....... any thoughts are welcome.

Mel

Well, I see no reason someone can't get a medical degree at any point in time. Whether or not it's practical... I can't really say. :dk:

Nebula said:

I can get a job, yes- however, I am in school full time and without transportation, I am limited to the very basic rider request transportation we have here. They don't run weekends, and only run until 5 PM at night. I have school Tues & Thur from 9 AM - 3 PM. This does leave Monday & Wednesday open...... but then again, most employers want you to work weekends & evenings, I doubt they will understand if I explain I have to rely on TAPS.

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I don't know where you live. But to graduate college, I worked full time, and took a full time college course load - just at night. I didn't have a car, but I was able to use public transportation. Is there no public bus service where you live? Can a bicycle fill in some gaps?

And is there no way to alter your course load in the future - so it's either mornings or afternoons? That would make a part time job much more likely.

LDG said:

Well, I see no reason someone can't get a medical degree at any point in time. Whether or not it's practical... I can't really say.

I don't know where you live. But to graduate college, I worked full time, and took a full time college course load - just at night. I didn't have a car, but I was able to use public transportation. Is there no public bus service where you live? Can a bicycle fill in some gaps?

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I live way out in the middle of nowhere. We have TAPS, which has several requirements

# 1- You have to notify them 24 hours in advance of you wanting a ride

# 2- They do not run on weekends. Period.

# 3 - From this area, they do one route....... They pick everyone up on the route about 7 AM and then from their destination at either 12, 2, or 4. Nothing later and no guarantees of getting anyone anywhere before 9:30.

What employer is going to hire someone who can only work Mon, Wed, and Fri 9:30 - 4?

They do offer later service in the larger towns, and then of course if we lived in Dallas/Plano, we would have great public transportation.

I live in a city of literally 3 churches, 1 nursing home, a store, a hairdresser, a city hall/police department, and a burger shack, with a population of about 800, 250-300 of which are in the nursing home. ( Would need a CNA degree to work there and get paid......)

I just need for my Disability to not get cut off for another year, until hubby gets his green card and can legally work in the US (Another $2000 + of fees... plus a sponsor which we don't have yet.........

I can alter my course load next semester, this semester it is set in stone unless I withdraw completely.

Well, when constructing your course load in the future, I'd do it with an eye to managing time for a part time job. :nod:

As to working Mon-Wed-Fri part time, you'll never know if you don't look or ask.

I go to school full-time and work part-time. Two of my classes are online, and I only work Tuesday all day, Thursday all day, and a half-day on Friday.

speakhandsforme said:

I go to school full-time and work part-time. Two of my classes are online, and I only work Tuesday all day, Thursday all day, and a half-day on Friday.

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Two of my classes are online. The science class and the math class are not offered online...

I worked full time and took classes part time. It was difficult, but I made it through.

I strongly suggest you look for a part time job.

Winchester said:

I worked full time and took classes part time. It was difficult, but I made it through.

I strongly suggest you look for a part time job.

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Applications are already in... the hindrance is the transportation issue and the very limited hours I can work.

Yeah.... I went to College at night (Full time) while working full time during the day. It was very hard... but I did what I had to do.....
I had friends who took day classes and worked part time in the Campus - have you tried a Campus job? Usually they are quite flexible with the students as everyone is in the same situation....

Can you live on campus in a dorm room?
 

I'm not sure how practical it for anyone to get a medical degree nowadays. The cost is just out of control. I knew a 60-year-old doctor who still hadn't paid off his student loans. He also lost several jobs when the hospitals/clinics couldn't afford so many doctors and had to let him go, so it's not as steady as you might think. And the insurance, the ongoing training, the certifications. . .it's even expensive after you're a doctor.

Only you can decide whether it's practical for you or not. Can you keep up this schedule and financial situation for the next 8 years?

Have you considered tutoring either other college students or high school/jr. high kids?  They could come to you and you'd set your own schedule.  Also, are there no jobs on campus?
 

Natalie_ca said:

Can you live on campus in a dorm room?
 

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I could, but hubby can't. Besides our rent is subsidized and dirt cheap ($84.00 for a one bedroom.......) College housing is $1700 a semester- anf they don't allow pets!! or married couples...

stephanietx said:

Have you considered tutoring either other college students or high school/jr. high kids?  They could come to you and you'd set your own schedule.  Also, are there no jobs on campus?
 

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I have to have made a straight A the previous semester to tutor. I plan on applying for the Work Study/ Campus jobs next week.. and will hopefully get one for the Spring 2013 semester. I am too late to get one for this semester.. This semester was really odd, because I got started way late- did not even take my placement test until the last minute...... and got registered late so basically I had to take whatever was offered to me, timewise on class schedules....... next semester I can plan better... financially, and class schedule wise- and apply early enough to get a work study/campus job spot.

Have you looked into student loans?
 

Natalie_ca said:

Have you looked into student loans?
 

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Yes.. I am getting the full amount of loans I can get- they just haven't been disbursed yet (1/2 on Sep 28 and 1/2 on Oct 26)

I hope this doesn't come across as harsh because it's not meant to. If you considered yourself "recovered and healed from BPD and bipolar" and are not under a doctors care and meds then why do you feel you should still get SSDI? That is for people with disabilities that prevent them from working and you say yourself that you no longer have this disability. People everywhere have had to work their way through school and it's not easy. My daughter worked her way through school because I was not able to help her and she had the strong desire to work in the medical field. It took her longer than others that had the means to just be able to go to school and not worry about having to pay for it themselves, but she got her degree and I am so proud of her. If your desire is strong you will find a way. Explore all options and good luck. Keep the faith and work hard!!

spudsmom said:

I hope this doesn't come across as harsh because it's not meant to. If you considered yourself "recovered and healed from BPD and bipolar" and are not under a doctors care and meds then why do you feel you should still get SSDI? That is for people with disabilities that prevent them from working and you say yourself that you no longer have this disability. People everywhere have had to work their way through school and it's not easy. My daughter worked her way through school because I was not able to help her and she had the strong desire to work in the medical field. It took her longer than others that had the means to just be able to go to school and not worry about having to pay for it themselves, but she got her degree and I am so proud of her. If your desire is strong you will find a way. Explore all options and good luck. Keep the faith and work hard!!

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Thank you.....that's pretty much what I wanted to say, but I didn't know how to say it as well as you just did.

You could possibly tutor through the local high school.  Contact (or possibly have a favorite prof contact) the guidance counselor to put your name on their tutor list.