Funeral etiquette question

I have a 3rd cousin who passed away yesterday.  They are not having funeral services beyond calling hours on Friday night.  It's in another state.  I don't know that side of my family well either. 

Is it appropriate to send just a card to the family at their home address?  And just one card to her husband and children or separate?  It's one of those situations where I had to read the obituary to even remember who her kids are...  My Gram had a big family and I was not around that side as much since my parents divorced when I was small.

I am sure they'll understand if you can't make it.. especially if you are not that close. I believe a mass card is sent to the closest relative (or husband in this case).. and a sympathy card would be nice for the kids.

When my Dad died, a lot of people from out of state sent one sympathy card for my Mom, sister and me, and just addressed the envelope to The..... Family. Ditto those who sent a flower arrangement. Several sent mass cards, since he was Catholic.

A card sent to the family would be proper (as Tricia noted) but I am thinking that if you barely knew them, they may barely know you and would probably not notice that you didn't correspond. If you do send a card, a small notation of how you are related would be nice. It may fall into the hands of a family genealogist and help with the family tree. (Not that my genealogy experiences would color my response... :lol3: )

A card addressed to the family, or flowers sent to the funeral home to their family from yours.
 

I agree that one card would suffice.

I agree with everyone else. One card to the family is sufficient unless you were close with any of the children. That wouldn't slight anyone and lets everyone know that they are in your thoughts. 

Thanks!  Often my Aunt and Dad go in on flowers together and they are from the whole family.  But this person did attend the baby shower my Aunt threw for me when I was pregnant with my oldest.  2 of her children sent gifts.  It's kind of awkward because I barely know these people; yet they are generous enough to send gifts and things. 

I will send one card addressed to her husband and family. 

In the last few years there have been two deaths in my family and cards sent to the house have always been appreciated (I still have them and I don't usually hold onto stuff like that). One of my husband's grad students gave donations to the Canadian Cancer Society (both times) and they sent a notification card, and also a thank-you card to send back to her. I was really touched by the kindness.

If you send flowers to a house with cats, please make sure to tell the florist NOT to put in LILIES that are super-poisonous to cats!