may have to put my cat down soon...

I had started another thread about my cat's condition to get advice, but now I'm looking for advice on this awful, awful situation..

to sum it up, my cat has a large mass on her intestines. It's not 100% that it's cancer, but the vet said if a biopsy was going to be taken, then the entire mass may as well be taken out. She's 11 year old, and while not THAT old, she is very frail (4.8lbs) and low in some key nutrients. The vet has never given me a straight answer about whether or not surgery would be a good option, but I'm getting the vibe that it wouldn't be. I'm just not sure she'd make it. 

She's gotten a steroid shot that helped with her apetite, and a little bit with the urinating around the house (the vet believes the mass is pressing on her bladder)..I even got a shot for a UTI to see if that was an underlying issue, but it doesn't really seem to be the case. 

However, now she's occasionally throwing up her food - yesterday she did it about 2 hours after she ate, and while she seemed to have eaten fast, I would think she'd throw up a lot sooner if that was the reason for it. This morning, I found urine in MANY locations..she sticks to one room (by choice, she's not enclosed in any area)..but I must've found about 10-12 different spots of urine. 

It broke my heart and it makes me think the mass is really too much - but then she hops off the chair and wants attention from me..she follows me around and rubs on me and gives me those eyes - and seems so NORMAL in some ways. 

I'm just torn on what to do. I don't want to keep bringing her back and forth to the vet. But since she's still so affectionate and loving, it makes me feel like it's not the end and there's still something more I can do, but I don't know what. I don't want it to get the point of her intestines being completely blocked and she's suffering - like the vet said will inevitably happen - but I don't want to put her down prematurely.

I know people say you will just "know" when the time is right, but I feel like my cat is just ridiculously resilient, and despite everything she's going through, is putting on a good face. 

I have cried so much over this. And as much as I want to bring her to different vets to get different opinions, I don't want to keep dragging her around like that..or spending so much money to hit dead-ends. 

Any advice would be so appreciative. I feel like I have no one to help me through this. She's not really a family pet - just MY pet - and while the family would care, no one will be as effected as myself. 

Only you can make the right decision for you cat, but I always try to think what I would want someone to do for me.  Of course, I don't think it's worth ruining your financial situation to get a cat a few more months, no matter how much I love the cat (and I love all of them a LOT).

It sounds like you're doing the necessary soul searching.
 

Agree that in the end only you can decide when the right time is and I also agree that spending lots of money for a few months isn't worthwhile. 

Thankfully it was blindingly obvious when I had to have a cat pts late last year.  I did plan how to deal with his body some time before - I found a local private pet crematorium and so on - and that helped me when the time came as it was less to think about.

You might also want to take photos and so on.

I feel like it's usually the owner wanting more time out of the cat for their own sake - and that's not even my position. This situation is so stressful and hard to deal with it, I can't stand seeing her sick - but when she's still being affectionate and loving, it makes me feel like if I'm putting her down, I'm cheating her out on a longer life, know what I mean? I guess I'd feel like I'd be betraying her :\ And as I said, while I wish it was more obvious, I wouldn't want it to get to that point..I guess I'm just afraid to do it before my options are exhausted. 

I'm comforted that you both agree it's not worth the money for a little while longer - I felt like such a bad owner being hesitant to spend $1000+ on a surgery that MIGHT help her..but reality is, I just graduated college, I have student debt, I'm only working part-time..just not all that easy for me to pay that sort of money. 

I'm hoping someone has been in a similar situation, where it wasn't as obvious..I'm an extremely indecisive person, and this is by far the worst decision I've ever had to make. 

Though I can say, I'll probably take her to the vet later this week for another steroid shot, and I imagine that may be the last one..I just can't imagine stuffing her in that carrier every 3wks for a shot for just a little bit of relief. She was so nervous in the car last time, she was panting, which I NEVER saw before. :\

And Oriental Slave, I have been thinking about how to deal with her body after the fact..I feel like I torture myself thinking about this situation so much, but I think in the end, it'll make it easier. I'm thinking about looking into someone coming to the home to put her down..I hate the thought of hauling her in a carrier and her last feelings being those of fear and discomfort :\

thanks to you both<3

I found taking my old cat to the vets every 10 days - 2 weeks for a shot very helpful, as I knew someone else was watching how he was and it wasn't me deluding myself he was still OK.  As it happened it was blindingly obvious when the end came, but while he was enjoying me, being fed from my plate, going toddling around the garden and ignoring the other two cats I enjoyed having him.

Warning: Kinda Long Post.  Sorry, but I thought this information might him this person.

I am so sorry for you and your cat, what you are going through.  Our cat Muffin is twelve years old.  His appetite drastically decreased in January.  His bloodwork then was borderline hyperthyroid, not enough for medicine.  With some TLC me and the vet got him feeling better.  In May the same thing happened.  He had bloodwork again which showed thyroid issues for sure.  The vet did an x-ray at that time.  It showed an abdominal mass, which the vet said was either on the lungs or liver.  (Muffins bloodwork had always show high ALT which means liver trouble, but he never had symptoms). I had tried to treat hiim with Denamarin, but it made him vomit and sick.  That was two or three years ago.  We stoppped it and waited.  Anyway, back to the x-ray.  The vet told us our options were do a biopsy, which sometimes gave an answer what you are dealing with and sometimes not, do surgery or feed him whatever he would eat, give him medicine, which would include steroids and spoil him rotten for whatever time he had left.   Of the three choices we chose the surgery.  The mass was at the tip of his liver and the biospsy report came back that it was a primary liver cancer.  The vet removed two thirds of that liver lobe.  He has always had urinary issues and until now had eaten Hills W/D from the vet office.  Now he eats a combination of that and Purina UR.  He has had a few setbacks.  His medicines have had to include an appetite stimulant twice to keep him eating, metronadazinole temporarily.  Now he is on 1/4 table of thyroid daily and 1/2 predisolone tablet dailly.  We have made one attempt to cut his dosage of the pred. to every other day.  It sat him back to no eating so I gave it back to him. He goes Wed. this week for a thyroid check.  If all is okay, the vet wants to try to wean him again to every other day on the pred.  I told you Muffins story to say this.  I understand how hard it is to make a decision.  We are a middle aged couple who are financially sound and could well afford this expense.  His surgery was between seven and eight hundred, but there have been medicines, the visit with the x-ray and the bloodworks.   If we had been a young married couple just getting started or a young student, we could not have done this.

So consider your whole situation and I think you are doing that.  The biopsy according to my vet is not always helpful and that is why we skipped it and did surgery.  If you are going to love your cat for whatever time is left there are a few suggestions I would make.  Can the vet put your cat on a steroid dose by mouth instead of having to take it for a vet visit.  I use pill pockets to give it to Muffin. Muffin lives outside in a closed in fenced area.  At night he comes in and sleeps in our garage.  During the day, he spends a lot of time on our screened in porch, where I have had trouble with him urinating on the furniture cushions.  I am going to clean it all with Natures Miracle from PetSmart and put plastic over the cushions.  The vet suggested I add another litter box there, clean and fresh with a clumping unscented litter.  You might try that. Good luck to you.  Love your cat, spoil him and take one day at a time.  That is what we are doing with Muffin.  By the way, he is doing good now and we are just going to enjoy him for whatever time he has left.  We have definitely decided he is not going to be put through any more surgeries.

thank you so much for the responses!

even beyond the money, like I said, I just don't think she's in the best condition for surgery. And even though she's been eating more, she only gained 2oz - and now that she's throwing up some of her food, she probably lost it..so unfortunately I think her low weight and lack of nutrition will continue to be a problem :\ And I should note she did have bloodwork done and she's not hyperthyroid. 

I will ask about the steroid in drop form - awhile back, like 5-6yrs ago, they found a mass somewhere near the base of her bladder - and it could very well be the same one (but I was obviously younger, didn't have the money for surgery, my options were limited) and they gave her a medicine in liquid form to keep her "comfortable"..my sister was caring for her at the time, so I'm not sure what it was, but maybe it was steroid medication. I'll definitely ask though, because taking her to the vet costs money every time ("progress exam" they call it), so it'll add up real quick. 

I do have a second litterbox, I got it awhile back since she had urinating issues on and off - but now she doesn't even go to that side of the house anymore and stays in a room adjacent to the one with the first litter box
 

Looking at things in hindsight, I'm realizing her behavior has changed more than I want to admit. She's constantly hiding - every time she goes outside, she finds a new spot and drives us crazy looking for her. She only stays in one room of the house, never venturing to the other side. She's gotten quieter, when she's alone, she seems sort of sad - but when I'm around, she's different..she's lively, wants affection..but unfortunately, I can't be home all the time, and since I can't have her in my room peeing on everything, I can only spend so much time with her..and I'm starting to feel like that's the only time she's really happy :\ and maybe when she's outside, which is less now, since the weather is cooling down. 

I'll probably take her to the vet Wednesday..we'll see what she says...

When I suggested the steroid on a daily basis rather than shots, I though the vet might would do that with just a phone call.  I hope things work out for you and your cat to enjoy each other for whatever time that is.

I wanted to take her back no matter what to see if the mass was changing at a and get her opinion on the whole situation..will probably be the last time I go back

I am so sorry that you are going through this. I just wanted to send prayers & vibes.

(If you pray, pray for guidence on what to do, & peace w/ it).  My heart goes out to you.