Vibes for My Husband, Please

 

 

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• Don’t minimize their experience.  Try not to say “Don’t worry, you’ll be fine.” You don’t know that. Instead say “I’m really sorry” or “I hope it will be okay.” And don’t refer to their cancer as “the good cancer.” These statements downplay what they’re going through. Leave the door to communication open so they can talk about their fears and concerns.

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"the good cancer" really hit home when I read that paragraph.  When Dave was first diagnosed, his gp told him "if you're going to get cancer, this is the one to get".  He saw a different gp about a month ago and, unbelievably, she told him the same thing. 

@ Nanner, you're so right---we're holding on to the fact that only 1 of the meds he's receiving makes him sick as a dog, and that he only gets that med 3 days a week.  That means 40% if the time his infusions are basically problem free; yay!  He did receive meds to counter-act the side effects of that one; in fact, he received 4 different meds added to his infusion yesterday.  I'm seriously hoping things go much better tomorrow, when he'll again be infused with the 'problem' med.

Thanks for the input and good wishes, everyone!

OH LIBBY!!!! I am sorry, just seeing this! I have been away. MEGA MEGA PRAYERS AND VIBES coming to Dave and of course, you, right now. Be strong, honey, I know this is very, very hard on you and your dear husband, Dave. Please know I am keeping you very close at heart. :heart3:

I am so sorry your husband is going through this.  I understand how fear tries to come in.  I just want to say my daughter was 33 in '95 when she was diagnosed with Non Hodgkins Lymphoma.  The prognosis for her was not good.  The tumor was too large for surgery.  But with treatment it went into remission.  She remained cancer free for  14 years.  She had surgery for breast cancer which they said was probably caused by the radiation therapy.  But she is doing well now  She says prayers, her doctors and her positive attitude all worked together to save her life.  Send me a PM anytime if you need someone to listen or cry to.  I am good at listening to talking and crying.  I understand.  Hugs to both you and your sweet husband. 

Please keep us posted when you can and know that I'll be praying for both of you. 

Thinking of you, Libby and your dear husband, Dave. Keeping you both in my prayers and continuing with the vibes tonight

Thanks, Lauren; I truly appreciate your thoughtfulness

Wow, that's got to be rough... He's got you, though. I mean, it's so much easier going through a hard time when you have people that love you on your side. Hang in there, OK?

How is he doing now? :cross:

Dave finished his 5th day of chemo Friday, and now has 3 weeks off (hopefully).  He'll see a surgeon this coming Friday to see about a port placement, then his oncologist to have blood work done.  He's exhausted, and I believe he has a cold (I'll be watching him like a hawk), but he says he doesn't feel too bad.  A couple of days were awful; one med caused severe nausea with vomiting, and it totally wore him down.

On a more interesting note, I think Dave has discovered a new appreciation of  the things I do for him.  He's actually apologized to me for "putting me thru this".  Silly man, that's what you do when you love someone. 

I want to thank you all again for checking in on him, and for the good thoughts coming his way.  He's been put on prayer chains by family members all over the country.  A distant 2nd cousin who he's never met ( I found her on facebook after doing some genealogy )  has offered to be checked as a blood marrow donor.  (what an amazing woman!)  One of our nieces sent us a floral arrangement the other day just to let us know she's thinking about us.  We have a lot of support from a lot of people, and we're grateful for every bit of it.

libby74 said:

Dave finished his 5th day of chemo Friday, and now has 3 weeks off (hopefully).  He'll see a surgeon this coming Friday to see about a port placement, then his oncologist to have blood work done.  He's exhausted, and I believe he has a cold (I'll be watching him like a hawk), but he says he doesn't feel too bad.  A couple of days were awful; one med caused severe nausea with vomiting, and it totally wore him down.

On a more interesting note, I think Dave has discovered a new appreciation of  the things I do for him.  He's actually apologized to me for "putting me thru this".  Silly man, that's what you do when you love someone. 

I want to thank you all again for checking in on him, and for the good thoughts coming his way.  He's been put on prayer chains by family members all over the country.  A distant 2nd cousin who he's never met ( I found her on facebook after doing some genealogy )  has offered to be checked as a blood marrow donor.  (what an amazing woman!)  One of our nieces sent us a floral arrangement the other day just to let us know she's thinking about us.  We have a lot of support from a lot of people, and we're grateful for every bit of it.

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Glad to hear the good news Libby. That's great!! Support makes all the difference.   I hope he finds a match! Continued prayers are w/ you guys!!

libby74 said:

On a more interesting note, I think Dave has discovered a new appreciation of  the things I do for him.  He's actually apologized to me for "putting me thru this".  Silly man, that's what you do when you love someone. 

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Of course you're there for him! Obviously this takes a toll on a relationship, but it can also bring you closer together as you unite for the fight.
Sending more good vibes for Dave and a big hug for you Libby.

Libby, I'm just now seeing this. I really feel for you and your husband. My brother was diagnosed with CLL at age 45, considerably younger than the average age for this type of leukemia. He opted to go with chemo fairly early on rather than take the "wait and see" route. (He also got the "good cancer" speech). His first round of chemo was pretty rough, but after that he said it wasn't bad at all. that it will go as smoothly for Dave.

I think my brother had a 6-month course of chemo. He's been in total remission for the last 9 years. He's hoping that by the time it rears its ugly head again someone will have come up with a cure.

I'm sure he's glad to have those three weeks off. Still keeping him (and you, too) in my thoughts.  and

Libby - Your hubby is a great man and he loves you so much. I think it is incredible how you both are caring and worrying for each other. You have a very strong and loving relationship and that will get you through this difficult time. :nod: Keeping you both in my prayers!!!!!!!!! MORE OF THESE

GoldyCat said:

Libby, I'm just now seeing this. I really feel for you and your husband. My brother was diagnosed with CLL at age 45, considerably younger than the average age for this type of leukemia. He opted to go with chemo fairly early on rather than take the "wait and see" route. (He also got the "good cancer" speech). His first round of chemo was pretty rough, but after that he said it wasn't bad at all.

that it will go as smoothly for Dave.
I think my brother had a 6-month course of chemo. He's been in total remission for the last 9 years. He's hoping that by the time it rears its ugly head again someone will have come up with a cure.

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Good news about your brother!  Hope his remission continues for years and years.  Could you find out any of the particulars from your brother, such as how high his WBC was at treatment, was he anemic? 

Dave was pretty young at his diagnosis, too.  I've read most CLL is diagnosed when the patient is in their 70s; Dave was 51 and it came as a shock. 

Pam, Lauren, "Pushylady" (whose real name I don't know  ), thank you all.  Being able to 'talk' about things with others is a huge help.

Sorry it's taken me so long to get back to this. My brother is living on an island in the Carribean now and sometimes it takes a while to get hold of him. He doesn't remember details about lab work and doesn't know where his medical records might be packed away. I do know that he was diagnosed during a routine check up with his family doctor because his white count was exceptionally high with no signs of infection. I remember vaguely from our phone conversations that he might have been anemic as well, but I can't say for sure on that.

There is a website that has a lot of good information about CLL. ACOR Leukemia Links. Scroll about half way down the page to the header that says CLL Support. There is a link where you can sign up for the CLL list. It's a wonderful support community for people with CLL and their family and friends. I spent a lot of time on that list for about year, then deactivated my membership after my brother was in remission.

Hope this helps some.
How is Dave doing with the chemo now?

I am so sorry you and your husband is going through this. My Mom also has cancer (stage 4 lung- diagnosed 11 months ago at age 59, never smoked) so I identify with how scary and stressful it is to be starting a new treatment. I know he has finished his first round and I am sending all my vibes and energy that he enjoys his 3 week break and that his scans come back good! 

If you don't know about it, something that has been really helpful for my family and I is the website www.caringbridge.org. It is a site specifically for people with cancer/other serious, long term illnesses. It allows the person and their family to post updates and for friends and loved ones to post comments. My Mom has found it to be very cathartic to share her experience and administratively for me and my Dad it has been a huge blessing in that it let's us update everyone at once. 

Having all the information in one place makes it so we don't have to keep sharing the same thing over and over again and makes sure everyone has the same facts. People don't call her wanting to get updated, they call her just to talk and "be normal" (which, when you have cancer is sometimes the hardest part). If you want to see a page PM me and I will share my Mom's with you so you can get an idea. 

 GO DAVE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Thanks so much for the links, GoldyCat and EB24.  I am a member of a couple of different CLL online groups, but will check these out, too.  I'm sure Dave won't; he has dyslexia and it's hard for him to do a lot of reading.  I get frustrated myself reading the posts to the sites I belong to; it seems as if everyone is using medical terminology that makes no sense at all to me.  I do read the blogs; some fill me with hope, others make me cringe.

Aside from feeling weak ( a lot ), this week has been ok.  We see the oncologist Friday and will have labs done then.  Also an appointment with a surgeon Friday to see about getting a port before the next round of treatment.  From what I've read, it may take another week or two for Dave to "bottom out", for his platelets and RBC to reach their (hopefully) lowest level before they start to build back up.

Will keep you posted; thanks again for all the good thoughts and vibes coming to my honey.

Glad to hear that he gets a bit of a break now. continuing the

LIbby Mega, enormous vibes for Friday's appt. One step at a time, one day at a time. You will both get through this together. My prayers are with you and Dave.