Kitten and 18 month old

We recently found a litter of kittens which my landlord is socializing since the mom was semi-feral. After this weekend, he said that they should be ready and he said we could have the tort one. I have a young daughter who is at that age where little animals are very exciting for her and I would like some advice on how to keep both my babies safe and of course how to get them used to each other. I know very little about how to introduce kids to cats as we don't have many friends who have pet cats...

Also I want to know if you discipline cats or how you would even do that? I'm guessing it's a lot like with toddlers...a lot of redirection and distraction...

Congratulations on making the decision to add a new member to the family! First, I would make sure that the kitten is old enough (at the absolute minimum 8 weeks) to leave Mom. By taking her too early you risk her not being properly weaned and that she hasn't learned everything she needs to know from Mom. Also (and I am not assuming anything about your situation) make sure you have carefully thought over the costs that adding a new kitten brings. You need to make sure you have enough set aside to buy her the basics (food, litterbox, litter, scratching post, ect) and to get her to the vet in the next few weeks for her shots, deworming, and spay. These costs can add up so I would recommend sitting down and making a list and making sure it's within the budget. Kittens can be as expensive as kids! 

As for keeping both your babies safe: You do need to be extra cautious at first with your toddler and the kitten and make sure their only interactions are supervised ones. Really, they should only have supervised interactions until the kitten is at least 6 months old. I say this because toddlers are, well, toddlers and don't yet understand how fragile and delicate a kitten is. Your daughter could seriously injure the kitten by picking her up by the tail, falling over on her, or playing too rough. Alternatively, while kittens are highly adaptable, all animals will react defensively if they feel they are in danger and the nature of toddler play could lead to the kitten biting or scratching to defend herself. It is for this reason that many shelters and rescues don't place kittens in households with kids under the age of five. It is do-able but you are going to have to be very vigilant. Even if one of them doesn't get hurt by the other you risk them not getting along (the kitten hiding from your daughter and your daughter getting bored with the kitten because she doesn't play). 

Something else to consider: there is a theory on coat color and cat personality. Many people with tortoiseshell cats describe them as having "torti-tude." In general (and of course there are always exceptions) torties tend to be more independent and less social. My tortie is easily frightened by the slightest sound and spends a lot of her time hiding in a cabinet. She's happy that way and I let her be, but that may not be the type of cat you are looking for. 

As far as training and discipline- I think everyone on here will tell you that you don't train cats, they train you. It can be done (to a certain extent) but once again requires a lot of commitment and consistency. Redirection and distraction are certainly two of the best techniques, as is positive reinforcement. For example, to prevent the kitten from scratching on your carpet provide her with a scratching post to re-direct her energy. If you don't want her on the counters when you cook find a place where she can still see you (like a barstool or cat tree placed near the counter) that can be her spot. When she sits there, give her a really high value treat (like some Kitty Kaviar or maybe a piece of chicken or steak). She will learn over time that when she is in her spot she gets the reward and she will sit for a good length of time waiting for it. 

Please know it is not my goal to discourage you from adopting, but rather to fill in some possible gaps so that you can make an informed decision on what is best for you and your family. If you have thought through the decision carefully and are certain it is the route you want to go I absolutely wish you the best. If you give the integration period the time and patience it requires I have no doubt you will be successful.  If perhaps a young kitten isn't the best idea maybe consider going to a shelter and finding a teenage cat (6-8 months). Their personality will be a little more established and you won't have to be as concerned with the safety aspects (of course at first still only allow supervised time to be sure they get along).

I hope some of this helps. Keep us posted!   

All of what you have just said I have tried to convince my hubby of....but he wasn't hearing it... stubborn lil' 

When we found them, they were already eating solid food and it took us about 2 weeks to actually get ahold of them...i had considered getting an older cat but hubby was like "but..but kitty!" 

Finances aren't really a problem.  We are gonna save up some money for the spay (they can't be spayed until they are 6 months, right?)

I have heard about "tortitude"but not specific examples... Actually the grey tabby is the calmest of the litter but the landlord wanted her (?) but I before he had said that I was gonna suggest we get that one instead...lol

We went to a sheltar a couple of weeks ago and there was a long haired tort about 10 years old and we got her out and she was really sweet let me pet her...but she hid under a shelf...(which I guess is probably normal considering our daughter was with us) but there was another cat that was out (i don't know much about this one) and my daughter threw a ball with a bell in it and this one ran after it and was swatting it...and just having a good old time...and my daughter was laughing up a storm...lol it was so cute. 

I have been thinking about this for a while now...I know a cat better fits our schedule and energy level...we are pretty laid back (aside from our lil energetic toddler) I've been doing a lot of research on the subject and everywhere it said that young adult cats are better for homes with toddlers but my hubby just says that you can't believe everything you read on the internet...  So he won't really take it into consideration and it's actually been irritating me a little more than usual... So I'm hoping they will just grow up together and learn to atleast tolerate eachother (hopefully they can learn to be friends too)

Sirthumpsey said:

 spay (they can't be spayed until they are 6 months, right?)

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It depends on the country and the vet. Here in Sweden they arent happy to spay before 6 months (not long ago the recommendation was 12 months - devastating advice producing lotsa of homeless).

But in most countries they use nowadays early spayings, 12 weeks or 2 pounds (=1kg) whichever comes first.  No sideeffects, and they do heal quicker than adults.

I myself believe it should go very well with a kitten and your toddler.  As I read between the lines in your letter, and EB´s excellent advices.

Good luck!

Thank you Stefanz, we live in the US in northern Pa...so I guess will just have to ask around...lol

Do you think the kitty will want to sleep in a bed on top of my nightstand next to our bed after she get's settled?  I guess we will just have to see. We just wanna keep her off our bed at night because we don't wanna squish her.

Thank you guys for your advice....if I have specific questions after the little one arrives, I'll be sure to ask...

Jo