Assimilating stray into household (warning: long post)

I'm looking for advice & hope you may be able to help.  I’ve been caring for a semi-feral cat, at my work, for several years.   In March, a second cat appeared, who I categorized as a stray – she talked to me, rolled over on her back & kneaded, from a distance of about 10 feet.   When I had her TNR’d, in April, they told me she was about 8 months old, had a badly healed leg fracture & was 4lb 4oz (after I’d been fattening her up for 5 weeks).  I'd fallen for this little girl.   Within a month of her return to the grounds at my office, she allowed me to touch her &, 3 weeks after that, she turned into a lap kitty.   I've never met a kitten who loves sitting on a lap for so long!    She wouldn't allow any one else near her - in fact, few people at office EVER saw her - but we have a strong connection.

In July, the 16 year old cat I was fostering went back home, so of course, I decided to bring the kitty, Cali, home.   The semi-feral cat at work was becoming more & more adversarial toward Cali.   My oldest cat at home, Kitzen, has always had a companion cat & the rescue I adopted last fall, Marni,  HATES other cats (despite the claims of the rescue group who I adopted her from).   Over the course of the past year, we've kept Kitzen & Marni separated & they now respect each other's territory, for the most part.  

My oldest cat has never been territorial, so I thought he'd accept Cali as his companion.

I brought her home on August 10 & she was so scared on the ride home that she pooped in her carrier, but she settled into her room reasonably well - purring & coming out of the closet to be with me, when I was in the room.   However, the next day she escaped!    Weird timing circumstances - she ran out the door of the room, as my husband was letting one of the other cats in from the back yard.

She was in my neighbor's yard for a couple of days, where I fed her.    She would come near me, but not to me.   When she did come near me & I grabbed her, she shredded my arm.   Clearly, she was more traumatized/feral than I realized.  Then, the day I got a live trap, she found her way into my backyard, only to be treed by Marni.   Marni's only outside about 2 hours a day, so I hoped Cali would adapt to Marni's schedule & stay away from her.   

She seemed really happy in my backyard & came whenever I called, but stayed about 20 feet away from me.   She was gradually warming up, when Kitzen discovered her last Saturday.   Kitzen chased her out of the yard.   Kitzen stopped sleeping on the bed all day & took to patrolling the yard, trying to keep Cali out.  As I said, Kitzen has never been territorial, so I don't know if it's his age (he's 13) or if he learned the behavior from Marni.

Yesterday, Kitzen beat up on her & she didn't come, when I called, last night.   I was distraught (for the millionth time, since this saga started).  This morning, she came to me & climbed on my lap & acted like nothing had ever happened.   Tonight when I got home, Cali had found her way into the front yard.   She was happily exploring, when Kitzen chased her toward the street.

My concern now is getting Kitzen to accept Cali as a member of our household.   Cali has adapted well to living outside here -  she's obviously bonded to me & the food I give her.   But I'm wondering if I should bring her back inside & keep her in a room, as originally planned, with gradual introduction via baby gates to the other cats; so the cats understand that she belongs to us & isn't an interloper in our yard.

Sorry for the lengthy email, but I want you to understand the history.    Do you have any thoughts/suggestions or know of a behaviorist who might be able to help me?

Thanks for listening to my tale of woe!

Liz

Hi, welcome to TCS!    I think you are right...it is a good idea to keep Cali in a room to herself and let them gradually get to know each other.  Daisy was a stray.  When we first brought her home she hated us all...me, DH, our cat, Speck.  It took quite some time, as Daisy was very aggressive when she was scared.  Feliway plug-ins also seemed to help, though they are a little pricey.  Good luck.  And I think what you are doing for Cali is wonderful. 

Thanks for the reply & welcome.   I've been lurking on TCS for quite a while, but haven't had a reason to post, until now.

Glad that you concur with my thoughts.   It's the only thing I can think of to shift the current dynamic.   And, at least, Calif doesn't hate me!

I've used Feliway before.   We inherited a semi-feral cat, when we purchased our home & he was a much loved member of our family for 7 years.   But the diffusers I've purchased in the past year have a burning (?) smell, so I don't feel safe leaving them plugged in long-term.  

Thanks again!

I'm thrilled to report that I just brought Cali inside!!!! She didn't come this morning, so this evening I walked all over calling & heard her respond. She was across the street, where Kitzen had chased her yesterday. I enticed her across the street & brought her food. After she ate, she came for affection & I transferred from my lap into a pillowcase. Voila! She didn't even freak out. She purred as soon as she was in her room, walked on the bed, ate & came on my lap.Now, I can breathe for the first time in the past 10 days….

Great work on getting Cali inside :bigthumb: Definitely not a feral by any stretch :lol3: Poor baby has been lost or abandoned . I would suggest leaving her in her "safe" room for a couple of weeks until she is totally comfortable. Do you let Kitzen outside? I would recommend that you keep both kitties inside from now on. Since Cali is so young she will adapt to living indoors just fine, much safer. She will be so grateful to have a loving indoor home with a kitty companion. Keep us posted and WELCOME to the site :happy3:

Excellent news! 

Great post and great job on getting your kitty indoors, I just found this site. I have been feeding a colony for about 8 months now after coming upon a kitty in a CVS parking lot a while back. I followed him and the rest is history. I have an indoors kitty, Baby and a 15 year old dog Scooby. And now the feral cat colony that I've been feeding and I did TNR also...,

And I have to admit...I have a favorite in the colony, I love them all don't get me wrong, but a little tabby bengel type male caught my eye early on because he kept playing with trash near the site where I have been feeding the colony. I was able to trap 6 kitties and he was among the ones I trapped, nuetered and returned. He is the only one who sits with me atter eating and he follows me around. I started to play with him with a long cat toy and he loves it. Don;t get me wrong I cannot pick him up and pet him or anything, but I can stroke his back, if he turns around and sees me forget it. But if I stayed at the colony site for 8 hours he would stay right by my side. It is getting harder and harder to leave him and I cried yesterday when I left him in the parking lot. Yes parking lot, there is a small grassy lot with a few trees nearby but for the most part its small businesses.

Sorry for this long post but I have been researching...you guessed it, how to bring a feral kitty inside. I have gotten lots of tips and advice but am happy to have found a true forum of cat people. Please advise, thanks and so glad your all here. Barbara

Thanks Feralvr & Nurseangel!  

Yes, I will definitely wait a few weeks before introducing Cali to the household!

Kitzen is an indoor/outdoor cat - has been for 13 years.   He has a cat door, so he comes & goes at will.   He's a great hunter & loves being outside.   In the past year, he's spending more time napping on our bed - his age is starting to show (just a little).    I wouldn't want to change what has worked so well for him, not to mention the fact that our rescue of a year ago will not share territory for him.   If Kitzen was to become an indoor cat, they would each have a much smaller territory, because they have to be separated.  I appreciate & respect your viewpoint, but feel that Kitzen's quality of life is better if I don't change it.

Thanks for your support!

Certainly then, don't change a thing about Kitzen's indoor/outdoor life since that is what makes him happy and he is accustomed to that. I was just wondering and of course you would not want to make that life change for Kitzen (indoor only) when introducing a new kitty. That would be much more stressful :nod: Cali will do just fine as well - being allowed in and out. I would just keep her indoors for a couple of weeks though so she knows that you are her new momma and this is her new home. Good luck !!!! Keep us posted on how things are progressing.

Thanks for understanding Feralvr.   I plan to keep Cali in the house for at least a couple of weeks.   I hope that she'll share territory with Kitzen & need to make sure that I can trust them together (not to fight) before I let Cali outside. 

Cali is settling in very well.   She's seems perfectly happy in her room & doesn't try to escape.    As soon as I come in, she starts purring & comes out of her closet.   She sleeps on the bed at night (not during the day yet), her pupils are no longer dilated, and she's starting to play.   As I said to my husband:  "she's so easy & asks so little", the same thing I used to say about the semi-feral, who we inherited, when we bought our house, (unfortunately, he passed about a year ago).

:-)

AWWW Cali does certainly sound very, very sweet. I guess she came to you for a reason bringing with her those wonderful personality traits as your other feral. Just take things very slowly and don't rush into intros with Kitzen. Plus Kitzen already does know her a little from being outside together. Although, now that Cali is indoors, Kitzen will see her as part of the family and not an outsider. I would start scent swapping soon. Switch out beds and use a sock on your hand to rub the facial pheromones from Kitzen to Cali and visa versa. I think they will become good friends :cross:

"I think they will become good friends "   From your mouth to the cats ears!

Thanks Feralvr.   I'm thinking about opening the door to Cali's room a bit, this weekend - there will be baby gates & a rubber door stop, so I can control the amount of contact.   She will have been in the house for about 10 days then - do you think that's good timing?   Yes, she knows Kitzen, but I'm hoping that the fact that she's inside will clue him in that she's a part of the family.   I've been putting my clothes on the bed, after Cali sits on me, & Kitzen has been sleeping on them.   I'm also using Kitzen's comb on her.  I'm not doing much to expose Marni at this point... The sock is a great idea.   I'll give it a try!  And, of course, I have Feliway diffusers.

I do think ten days is good amount of time and that Cali might be ready and let's hope Kitzen is too. Make them very, very short sessions and exposure to each other. A little bit each day so they can acclimate to each other and have good experiences. Baby gates are a great way to let them get a good look at each other and smell eachother from the safety of a barrier. This is always a good way to begin any introduction. Some people have a screen door put up in their foster room so the cats can relate to eachother safely behind the screen door. I have plexi glass that I slide back and forth. I find that if my cats can see the other cat first even before scent swapping, they are more appreciative of that and seem more curious then when I start scent swapping. It's like they say - About time you let us have a smell Let us know how it goes