Please help: when is it time to put my cat to sleep?

About eight months ago, we adopted a Persian mix named Marcel. He was low energy from the start and would just sit on the couch, but became somewhat affectionate. He would come in and sleep with us at night and purr. My fiancee wanted to try him on some higher end food (he'd be on Fancy Feast), but he didn't respond well to it and started vomiting and having diarrhea on the floor. We put him back on Fancy Feast and he'd been responding well to it recently.

In the past few days, his breathing has gotten very raspy, but he was still eating. Last night he just licked his dinner a little bit, and this morning he wouldn't touch it at all. His breathing seemed very labored. He's been peeing on the floor the last couple of days. It is unusual for him to not eat. When we tried to cut his meals down a while ago, he would yowl and try to lure us into the kitchen. What tipped me was when he started hiding today, because he never does that, so I took him to the emergency vet. He's there right now and they're rehydrating him and running tests.

My point is that Marcel is not well, not just sick for the moment, but a very unhealthy cat overall. He never gained weight after we adopted him. But he has periods where he does okay and makes us believe that we've found the right diet for him and that he's coming around. We simply can't afford to spend thousands of dollars on what is obviously a very sick cat with many problems. I don't want him to suffer, and I feel like we've given him a very good life over the past several months that would go seriously downhill if he was going back and forth between vet visits. Please help...we're not the type of people to put cats down lightly. He's never responded to any meds, and the vets have never been able to pinpoint anything. Your advice is really appreciated.

Thank you for posting. I am sure a lot of posters will try to help you with this, so hang in there.

Your next step should be take Marcel to a different vet. Someone else may be able to figure out what the problem is and have other treatment ideas. If a cat specialist is in your area, that would be great. Some people drive an hour away to see a holistic vet while keeping their relationship with a regular vet, so that might help if you can do it. Remember not all vets are created equal.

Of course, I am not saying you have a bad vet. Hard cases like this often require second and even third opinions. Sometimes holistic medicine is what the cat needs, not surgery and drugs. Other patients need more advanced testing their regular vets are not equipped for. So I think the first thing to do is find a vet with more diagnostic equipment and AAFP membership to get a second opinion. If you can't find a cat specialist, go to the biggest hospital within driving distance. Cornell University has a good vet school, so you can try that one.

It sounds like he has an upper respiratory infection.  Take him to the vet for a check up and get him some meds.
 

Until the tests come back I can't give you any advice. It's hard to know what's going on. Hiding, labored breathing, etc. is not good but as Stephanietx said, it could be an upper respiratory infection, I don't know. When the tests come back let us know and we can give you a better idea of what's going on and if it's easily treated. It's never easy to think about letting go of a kitty but don't jump to conclusions yet okay? You don't know that it's not an infection or something. 

It's very important that he eat.  He cannot go without eating for too long.  To help him, get some stinky canned food and either warm it up in the microwave or put his bowl with food in it in some hot water for a few minutes to warm up the food.  The warm food will smell stronger and hopefully entice him to eat.  You can also put plain saline drops in his nose to help clear out the congestion.

I also suggest a second opinion from a different vet (not in the same clinic as your current vet).
 

I just got back from talking to the emergency vet and seeing Marcel. He's improved quite a bit, and they are going to keep him for observation overnight. Basically, the vet thinks that he has an enlarged heart, so when he gets an infection that a normal cat would fight off no problem, it puts a huge strain on his heart because of the increased white blood cells. The doctor recommended keeping an eye on his improvement, and if he's still okay in the morning we can take him home and keep a close eye on him. He is clearly not well overall, which is why I thought this might be it for him--especially when he hid from me this morning, as he NEVER does that. The vet did say that if I hadn't taken him in, he probably would have died. More or less, our options are taking him to an emergency vet for the rest of his life whenever he shows signs of infection (the doctor said this was probably bronchitis). I'm just trying to gauge HOW often he might be prone to infection, since he's an indoor cat. I'm extremely nervous about him, considering he has so many issues. I just couldn't look into his still alert eyes today and say that his quality of life was unacceptable, even though I can tell that he struggles every day...thanks for your advice.

Clearly he's not ready for the bridge by any means. So I think you are doing the right thing in just seeing how it goes and how you can treat him at home. The vet will give you all that info and hopefully he'll be with you for a long time. 

Look at the post titled "Delilihas heart murmur" its about the 5th one down, in the Health section, and read my posts. I just, cannot, go thru, this all again.  

Did the vet say anything about fluid accumulation around his heart and/or lungs? That was my first thought because of the raspy, labored breathing, etc. I would find out and make sure the vet isn't giving too much IV fluids as this can kill a kitty with fluid accumulation, which they would know. Just putting this out there "just in case." If it is fluid accumulation, there are drugs that can help with that. There are also treatment options depending on what part of the heart, for kitties with "enlarged hearts." Poor little guy. He's probably thinking, "It's about time someone helps me with this!" Good for you in seeking out further diagnostics for him!

whollycat, the vet did mention fluid accumulation. I've been doing some reading on my own...it seems like once a cat starts exhibiting symptoms of an enlarged heart like this, the prognosis is very poor, like in the span of a few months. Am I right? I would be fine if he could live out his last few months here relatively comfortable with us. This is all very confusing...I just don't know the extent of his misery and whether it's worth prolonging things when he is apparently so far advanced with his heart issues that he's showing such severe symptoms. Any thoughts?
 

Being given only a few months to live is the hard part. Nobody really knows how long a cat will live. Vets want to make educated guesses but can't guarantee anything. You need to take it with a grain of salt and decide for yourself, based on how Marcel is doing, if he looks ready to die. If/when he is ready to die, he will let you know.

Sadly, we had to put Marcel down tonight. The echocardiogram showed that his heart was severely enlarged and he had also developed asthma. The vet said that he could die painfully at any moment, and even best case scenario he would live for a year at most on extensive medication. It was horribly difficult, but I know we did the right thing for him. Thanks everyone for your advice and kind words.
 

I'm so very sorry! You did what was right for Marcel. Big hugs to you. 

I am so sorry.....

I am sure he felt how much you loved him and how you did everything you could to make him happy and comfortable,.

You gave him this last great, precious gift: to leave this world with dignity, before the suffering became too much to bear, and to be there for him, with all your love, when his time came to say goodbye.

Run free at the bridge, Marcel.....

I am so very sorry for your loss.  I know you loved him.  Rest assured that he knew he was well loved.