This is so Funny!!

Someone e-mailed me this the other day. I thought it was hilarious! If you have ever thought of yourself as computer stupid, you won't after you read this...


Technical Support


Take heart, anyone among you who believes you are technologically challenged, you "ain't seen nothing yet".This is an excerpt from a Wall Street Journal article:
1. Compaq is considering changing the command "Press Any Key" to "Press Return Key" because of the flood of calls asking where the "Any"key is.

2. AST technical support had a caller complaining that her mouse was hard to control with the dust cover on. The cover turned out to be the plastic bag the mouse was packaged in.

3. Another Dell customer called to say he couldn't get his Computer to fax anything. After 40 minutes of troubleshooting, the Technician discovered the man was trying to fax a piece of paper by holding it in front of the monitor screen and hitting the "Send"
key.

4. Yet another, Dell customer called to complain that his keyboard no longer worked. He had cleaned it by filling up his tub with soap and water and soaking the keyboard for a day, then removing all the keys and washing them individually.

5. A Dell technician received a call from a customer who was enraged because his computer had told him he was "Bad and an invalid." The tech explained that the computer's "bad command" and "invalid" Responses shouldn't be taken personally.

6. A confused caller to IBM was having trouble printing documents. He told the technician that the computer had said it couldn't find the printer. The user had also tried turning the computer screen to face the printer, but that his computer still couldn't "see" the printer.

7. An exasperated caller to Dell Computer Tech Support couldn't get ther new Dell Computer to turn on. After ensuring the computer was plugged in, the technician asked her what happened when she pushed the power button. Her response, "I pushed and pushed on this foot pedal and Nothing happens." The "foot pedal" turned out to be the computer's mouse.

8. Another customer called Compaq tech support to say her brand new computer wouldn't work. She said she unpacked the unit, plugged it in and sat there for 20 minutes waiting for something to happen. When asked what happened when she pressed the power button, she asked, "What power button?"

9. Another IBM customer had trouble installing software and rang for support. "I put in the first disk, and that was OK. It said to put in the second disk, and had some problems with the disk. When it said to put in the third disk, I couldn't even fit it in..." The user hadn't realized that "Insert Disk 2" implied to remove Disk 1 first.

10. A story from a Novell NetWire SysOp:

CALLER: "Hello, is this Tech Support?"
TECH: "Yes, it is. How may I help you?"
CALLER: "The cup holder on my PC is broken and I am within my warranty period. How do I go about getting that fixed?"
TECH: "I'm sorry, but did you say a cup holder?"
CALLER: "Yes, it's attached to the front of my computer."
TECH: "Please excuse me. If I seem a bit stumped, it's because I am. Did you receive this as part of a promotional at a trade show? How did you get this cup holder? Does it have any trademark on it?"
CALLER: "It came with my computer. I don't know anything about a promotional. It just has 4X on it."


At this point, theTech Rep had to mute the caller because he couldn't stand it. He was laughing too hard. The caller had been using the load drawer of the CD-ROM drive as a cup holder and snapped it off the drive.

11. A woman called the Canon help desk with a problem with her printer. The tech asked her if she was "running it under windows." The woman responded, "No, my desk is next to the door. But that is a good point. The girl sitting in the cubicle next to me is under a window, and her printer is working fine."

12. And last but not least:
TECH SUPPORT: "Okay Bob, let's press the control and escape keys at the same time. That brings up a task list in the middle of the screen. Now type the letter "P" to bring up the Program Manager."
CUSTOMER: "I don't have a P."
TECH SUPPORT: "On your keyboard, Bob."
CUSTOMER: "What do you mean?"
TECH SUPPORT: "P, on your keyboard, Bob."
CUSTOMER: "I'm not going to do that!"

LOL those were funny!!!

It has been my lot in life that wherever I work, I end up teaching co-workers some basic computer stuff, like how to cut-and-paste, or what WinZip is, etc. Usually they act like I am doing some sort of magic when I first show them how it is done.

LMAO ,that is a great one

I am so computer challenged, but I feel better now.

One night on a talk radio show they had calls like that.

I will admit the first week I had my pc, I got that screen that says this computer has done a illegal operation, or something like that I called me Son, I really thought I had done something wrong(lol)

They were great!

Thanks for sharing!

Heck! I'm a software support technician and have run into some instances of these, but even I have done my share of stupid PC tricks. Or how about stupid car tricks? I don't normally drive an automatic (have always driven a standard) but my new car is an automatic and the other morning it wouldn't start so I went inside and woke up my husband. The problem is that it wasn't in Park. DUH!!!!

Too funny! Those techs must need a LOT of patience

Originally posted by TTMom
Heck! I'm a software support technician and have run into some instances of these, but even I have done my share of stupid PC tricks. Or how about stupid car tricks? I don't normally drive an automatic (have always driven a standard) but my new car is an automatic and the other morning it wouldn't start so I went inside and woke up my husband. The problem is that it wasn't in Park. DUH!!!!

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Don't feel too bad, I did that same thing once too! Had borrowed a friend's automatic when I'd always had a standard & had to call him to ask "how do I get this thing started?"

That is sooooooooo funny it is amazing that those kind of people are out there

For a good many years i used to work with alarms and installing them. As well as the alarms, I used to deal with lighting and the flourescent tubes. well it was one of those slow days when little was happening and progress was even slower due to contractors holding things up. I had a 16 year old lad with me who was two currents short of a fruit cake. So I decided that we would go rounnd and check all the flourescent tubes, make a list of what was needed and he would nip down to the wholesaler for some of whatever we needed.

So - up he goes on the ladder and checks size and wattage and shout down what is needed to me writing at the bottom. 30watt tubes, 40watt tubes, 60watt tubes, U tubes, you name it and we needed it.
He went off to the wholesaler with my list and came back red faced as hell.
Just for the fun of it in the middle of the list of tubes - I wrote filopian tubes - well he read clean through it and asked for them. The guys at the wholesalers still talk about this when I see them now and then and we still get creased up.

As a second thing, i always used to get him wire with me - ie lay wires. I would wind him up by asking him to hold onto the end of this particular wire (knowing it to be dead). I would ask him if he was feeling anything - he always said no - so I told him not to touch the other one as it would kill him.

I believe his brain finally engaged some years later and he made something of his life - i believe he may be going into politics now - and you wonder why the UK is in the state its in. question answered.....

Kev

Originally posted by tuxedokitties
Don't feel too bad, I did that same thing once too!

Had borrowed a friend's automatic when I'd always had a standard & had to call him to ask "how do I get this thing started?"

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OH MY GOSH!!! Me tooo!!!! After we gave back our VW (end of lease), we finally got a used Ford and it's my first truck driving and I froze, I didn't know how to move the thingy (still don't know what you call it) to move it to R to back out of the parking lot, I was afraid of breaking it and my hubby was yelling at me outside the window and I was soooo embarrassed!!!! Because this was on the college campus and there were students hanging outside!!! I prefer driving standard anytime though, love it!!!!! Speed demon!!! Hey, has anyone watched the old cartoon Go Speed Racer? Here he comes here comes the racer driving a car on wheels (something like that...don't remember the words to the song)