My heart broke this morning...

As some of you may know, I lost my darling Ruby on June 3rd, 2012. She was only a year old. She was one of the ferals I had taken care of, and she was one of the three kittens born in my backyard last year. I was truly her meowmy, because she waited for me to feed her every morning and would always sit on my porch to visit. I found her dead under a neighbor's car, I believe she may have been poisoned.

So this morning, I was out feeding the ferals and I had the scare of my life. All of a sudden, a fluffy brown kitty walks into the backyard, who looks identical to Ruby. I soon realized it was actually Fluffy, Ruby's mum! My heart broke when I noticed it wasn't my baby, for a second I thought she came back to me.

Needless to say, I had a good cry.

But. I thought I would share this, because I'm sure all of us feral caretakers know that when we decide to love and care for these babies, we are signing up for heartbreak. But to be honest, knowing and loving Ruby was worth the heartbreak.

AWWWW sweetie - guess what? I did the same thing earlier this year. My :heart3: feral, Yogi, who disappeared back in April 2011 has never returned. I cried and cried for days and weeks after his disappearance. WELL - this last spring when I went out to feed my ferals, I took the roof off of my feral villa and there was an exact look alike cat to Yogi!!! It ran off so fast I didn't get a close look. I swore it was my Yogi and that he had come home after one year of being away. It was not. I soon learned that it was Boo - who looks like Yogi but has dark tabby stripes under the black fur. I also had another cry too at that point. I know in my heart he is at the bridge but still I hoped and looked for him for a very, very long time.

I am sorry about Ruby and do remember your telling us about Ruby and there are many of us here who do understand the hurt you are feeling. We do what we do because the feral need us and you got that right, about the broken heart :shame: It is bound to happen.

Aw hun.................... :heart2:

Oh dear, I am so sorry it has all come back again. 

I have loved and lost ferals my whole adult life, some I do not know what happened to them. 

God bless you for caring so very much.

That's a tough one! You're right about the heartache that goes with taking care of these special cats.

sad hugs,

catmom5

Thanks so much for your support guys . I miss her so much, as she was such a sweet little kitty. I found a video of her grooming her sister Tiny here (she is the fluffy one). She was a beautiful girl, and was so harmless. She wouldn't even hurt a fly! She got along well with the other cats, and aside from being mildly afraid of humans, she was the sweetie out of the bunch.

AWW precious video of your Ruby Our hearts can't help but be crushed when we lose them.

I've been reading through some posts tonight - I posted last night worried about my stray Momma Kitty and her babies (moved them because of my husband's aggravating dog). I've been crying about them moving and not being "home" with me (she did bring 2 of them up to eat tonight and I went outside and spent time petting and rubbing her a lot). It helps me to know that my worry and heartbreak and love isn't unique - I know that sounds odd but I thought maybe I was over-reacting (my husband isn't exactly a fountain of understanding and compassion on this). I sure am sorry about the loss of Ruby - when these wondrous little creatures wrap their paws around our heartstrings, it opens us up to a whole lot of hurt when we lose them.....

uncommonsensesc said:

I've been reading through some posts tonight - I posted last night worried about my stray Momma Kitty and her babies (moved them because of my husband's aggravating dog). I've been crying about them moving and not being "home" with me (she did bring 2 of them up to eat tonight and I went outside and spent time petting and rubbing her a lot). It helps me to know that my worry and heartbreak and love isn't unique - I know that sounds odd but I thought maybe I was over-reacting (my husband isn't exactly a fountain of understanding and compassion on this). I sure am sorry about the loss of Ruby - when these wondrous little creatures wrap their paws around our heartstrings, it opens us up to a whole lot of hurt when we lose them.....

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Believe me, you are NOT being overly emotional. We cat lover's are all the same. They get inside our hearts from day one and I have had some real good cries too over the years. It never gets easier. OMG I would have a house full, but then I wouldn't have the hubby..... He is supportive though, but..... he still can't believe we have six indoor and quite a few outdoor ferals. I say - SIX indoor - oh that's nothing :lol3: He doesn't seem to agree. It is an emotional rollercoaster, caring so much.