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I don't think she likes me much

post #1 of 6
Thread Starter 
I really don't think my little cat likes me at all, except when she's looking for food.

She was reasonably friendly with me until she was spayed, two months ago. She would lie on my lap and follow me all over the house looking for pats and scratches. Since her spay she's been cooling off considerably towards me. First she stopped lying on me, she'd lay on the sofa next to me instead, then it was on the back of the sofa, now she plunks herself at least three feet away on the floor and stares at me. Until about two weeks ago if I picked her up she'd squirm around to give me a kiss, now she refuses to look at me and tries to get away. She'll still follow me around the house, but only if her food dish is empty or my husband isn't home.

I'm the chief bottle washer as far as the cat care is concerned, I do the feeding, cleaning of the litter, brushing (which she loves and still enjoys when I do it), but as soon as I put the brush away she moves very carefully out of my reach. She prefers to have my husband play with her instead of me most of the time now. I've never hurt her in any way by accident, such as stepping on a toe or tail, never raise my voice to her and since I am at home, am with her most days. Yet I feel this distance growing between us and it's upsetting me a lot. It's like she sees me as the one who feeds and not much else.

We adopted her from a shelter in May when she was between 6 and 8 months old. We only know she was there for 2 months and was really friendly when we first saw her and brought her home. I don't know if she was a stray or dumped or what, but have observed she can be quite timid at times, yet has never acted nervous or aggessive towards me. I don't get it.

I'd sure appreciate any advice or tips that would help me out because with each passing day I'm getting really depressed. I really like this little kitty and hate getting the cold shoulder so much. Thanks.

Oh yeah, I was the one who took her to the vet and took her back to have the stitches taken out, could she be holding a grudge?
post #2 of 6
Pls don't let this disencourage u. Cats are like humans- they can get very moody for a while!

Once in a while, one of my cats would get all huffy with me and refuse to come near me for a while then they're back to normal...

Have u tried playing with her at various times using various toys? Maybe try to spend some bonding time with her? Also be patient.. It sometimes takes time. When she comes to u and give u attention, be sure to praise her and give her treats...

I doubt she'd hold a grudge against u for having the stitches taken out but who knows with cats!

Hang in there and keep us posted! I'm sure more people will respond with useful tips regarding this soon..
post #3 of 6
No useful advice here, but hang in there! I know it feels sad to be snubbed, and I don't have the first clue as to why, but I'm sure if you persist in a gentle loving way, she'll come around. Some kitties do hold grudges for a little while. Maybe she picked up vibes from you (MY opinion ONLY, no basis in fact) and don't know what to make of them, so she gets wary, you get sad etc. continuing a circle?
post #4 of 6
She simply has her guard up. You took her for a ride in a car which probably scared her. She was left in a strange place with smells she didn't like. Perhaps they put her next to a yappy dog, or something and she just needs to decompress. Plus you don't know if anything really scary happened to her while she was gone, and she is pretty confused right now. Sit down on the floor next to her and just read out loud to her quietly. Lay some treats around you, and don't look at her, and don't pet her. If she head bumps you, as hard as it is, just ignore her and keep reading. If you know she is good health, eating, drinking and using her litter pan regularly then really ignoring her is the best way for her to come to you the quickest.It is hard to do, but it works.
post #5 of 6
Having read Hissy's reply, please then ignore what I said about gentle persistence!!

Hissy, I thought exactly what you wrote, but what threw me off on the original post was the 2 months time she mentioned? I didn't realize that kitties hang on to those feelings so long, since she said she had a pretty good environment to recover in, and the relationship was good before, I figured she'd be forgiven earlier. Wow, I learned something new today.
post #6 of 6
Cats have LONG memories!

One of my parents' cats have HATED me for over TEN years now because I brought another cat home. She'd freak out whenever I came into the room, hiss, and swat at me if I came too close. Recently, I went home to visit and she FINALLY let me pet her without hissing at me for a few minutes! I call that progress! This is a perfect example of how smart cats are and how long they can keep grudges for! Also heard that calico cats are ornery anyway so that might be another factor in why Rusty has hated me for so long?? Dunno..

I am pretty sure that this won't happen in this situation so don't worry. Follow Hissy's suggestions- they sounds great!

Hang in there and keep us posted.
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