My Sweet Kitten Is Gone

Hello. I would like to start off by saying that I am 14 and also a first time cat owner. My grandmother's wild cats had a litter about two months ago and my family got to take three of them home for ourselves. Their names were Callie, Charlie, and Blackie. We took them home on Sunday and now it is Saturday (Actually past midnight so it's Sunday, but you get it.). I have loves these kittens so, so much. We have done everything right in raising them: figuring out litter boxes, beds, toys, foods, and love. This story is about Blackie, the lone male of the litter and also the runt. He has brought me the most joy I have ever experienced in a long time. He likes to sit next to your feet when you go outside so that he feels safe, and he is so gentle when you hold him. He was my favorite. Over the course of the week, Blackie had not been eating or drinking as much as his sisters were, so we had to bring him inside and specially coax him towards food and water. Another side note: these kittens were about six weeks old, and we read that a kitten could be adopted and taken off their mother's milk after week 4. All of the cats had had rather runny poop the whole week, almost diarrhea. We got so excited this morning; Blackie had a good, solid poop. My mother had been worried about how small he was compare to his sisters, and we started to think that he might be doing better after this successful trip to the litter box. So now let's fast forward from this morning to the evening. Around 8:20. I am home alone because my brother and mother are out at the supermarket and running a bit late. I get a message from my brother saying to check on the cats because they were running behind schedule. So I went outside.

And saw him.

Blackie was in the middle of the floor of the porch, in an almost sleeping position. None of the cats had ever done this yet, so I panicked. I moved the other two kittens out of the way and rushed over to him. His mouth and eyes were open and he was breathing violently. I picked up his limp body and carried him inside. At this point I was screaming and crying at the same time. I sat down in the kitchen and just cradled him. His mouth occasionally moved, and I took it as him trying to meow, as if saying,

"I Love You."

Then his heart started beating very fast and I knew it was over. My sweet angel was crossing his bridge over troubled waters. I was screaming, bawling, and holding Blackie close to me the whole time. Then my family came home and saw me, huddled up on the kitchen floor, holding what they knew was their cat. Our cat.

I decided to post this for two reasons.
1.) To get this story off my chest and to tell my readers to cherish what you are given. Always.
2.) To ask advice. How can I deal with this emotional stress? I have summer camp starting tomorrow and I have been on and off sobbing for the past four hours.

If you were wondering what we have planned already: We are giving Blackie a funeral soon back at my grandmother's house where he was born in a week or so.

Blackie, thank you for giving me the best week of my life. You will never, ever, be forgotten.

I'm very sorry for your loss - it's so heartbreaking when a little one doesn't make it. As far as dealing with the loss, time does help you, as the pain becomes less acute, though it may not seem that way right now. You have to allow yourself to grieve until you can accept that there was nothing you could have done to change things and that death is a part of life. Having a funeral for Blackie may help you, too.

RIP, Blackie.

 <3((((((((^^))))))))<3 sweet little baby Blackie, forever Loved <3

 Know that your precious baby is feeling fine and running free at the Rainbow Bridge, forever Loved and Cherished, watching over you until you are reunited in due time.  He is in the very best of Care.

There is no "closure" for those of us who love and lose someone; but time does have a way of helping you to endure the pain.  Planting a memorial plant on teh loved one's resting place is a beautiful way of continuing the beauty of that life, and will always remind you whenever you see it, that your baby lives on.

Blackie

Aw hun, I am so sorry you lost Blackie like that. How terribly painful for you. Just know there was nothing you could have done other than what you already did for him... Loved him :heart3: In time your grief and distress with subside.... just know that no matter where Blackie was this would have happened. You were his angel by holding him and loving him while he passed to the bridge For that, he will always be your angel He loved you too.

Fly Freely Blackie

I cried as I read your story, I could feel your pain. I think that a funeral is a great idea as well as talking about it. Think about the good times or the funny things that Blackie did. Take comfort in knowing that he is in kitty heaven, frolicking with other cats and no longer in pain.

Hugs to you.  I am so sorry for your loss.  Blackie knew how much you loved him and I am sure he appreciated the love you gave and the wonderful home he had for a short time.