Back in 05 my now fiancee and I were walking home from the car and the only spot was 3 blocks away. We stopped to pet a stray cat that was outside. She ended up following us all the way home. We took her in fed her and bathed her took her for her shots and to be fixed a week later . She adopted us. She loved sitting in our yard and sunbathing. She was very smart and clean so when she started exploring I didnt think anything of it. We even had a routine I let her out at 7am and brought her in at 7pm and I occasionally went out there to check on her and she always came when she heard me make the clicking sound with my mouth. She would come in drink and do her business and go back out. Her happy little self prancing in with her bell ringing could hear her miles away. On Cinco De Mayo she had gone out as usual and she had come back in several times so I kinda lost track. I forgot she went back out the last time. She was apparently doing her usual exploring. I decided I was gonna take a bath before bed. As soon as I got in there was a knock at the door. Smokey got hit by a car. I was devistated I was freaking out having a panic attack crying I was hysterical. She was still alive. My fiancee went in to find a 24 hour vet. She was looking right at me she was even reaching up for me as I cradled her in my arms blood every where. It was awful. The vet said that even if we could afford the surgery (which we couldnt) it didn't guarantee that she would make it. We opted to put her down. I was in the room when the life was slowly drained out of her body and she was gone in minutes. Physically that is. Since her passing I see her bloody face reaching up for me every time I close my eyes. Why didnt I remember to bring her in at 7 like I always did. Why was I so irresponsible. Why did that idiot have to hit my baby. I have a pic of her with her collar in it on my wall as well as a clay paw print the vet gave me. When will it get easier. She wasnt just a cat. She was our baby.
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How painful for you. I am so, so sorry about Smokey. She was beautiful. I hope the wonderful, beautiful memories of her sharing her life with you will overshadow those last memories of the day she got hit by the car. My heart goes out to you. Please don't blame yourself - as humans, we tend to be so hard on ourselves... the what ifs and the whys. Smokey did have a very loving home and was very lucky to have found you back in 2005. IF not for you, she might have never made it all of these years. Try to be good to yourself, you gave her many wonderful years in a loving home. :heart3: I will keep you in my prayers.... 
Smokey 
