Cher hates me

I have pics up!!!!  I am a noob so I put them in my avatar folder though I think you can all still see them.  I also found the vids i made when Cher moved in.  I put them together with movie maker and will put that up on youtube this evening.  Then I will post the link here.  You gotta go see the vids to get an idea of what she is like...be back in a bit when movei maker is done saving the movie

Thank you for the advice WhollyCat...gonna try that tonight.  I will also go to that link in a bit but my wife just got home so I gotta go say hi and give her a big wet one.

Thank you for the kind words.  I appreciate that you understand what I am saying when I write. 

BTW how did you all get so dang smart?  everyone knows tons about cats here...

aw she's a torti 

Haha this has to be one of the best threads I have read since joining this sight. I have to agree with the others... while reading this I also have been sporting a giant cheshire grin! Your love for Cher is soooo contagious! I'm also a noob so welcome! So far this site has been nothing short of AMAZING!!

Arlo Haarsma said:

I have pics up!!!!  I am a noob so I put them in my avatar folder though I think you can all still see them.  I also found the vids i made when Cher moved in.  I put them together with movie maker and will put that up on youtube this evening.  Then I will post the link here.  You gotta go see the vids to get an idea of what she is like...be back in a bit when movei maker is done saving the movie

Thank you for the advice WhollyCat...gonna try that tonight.  I will also go to that link in a bit but my wife just got home so I gotta go say hi and give her a big wet one.

Thank you for the kind words.  I appreciate that you understand what I am saying when I write. 

BTW how did you all get so dang smart?  everyone knows tons about cats here...

Click to expand...

Love your story about Cher. :lol3:
If you post your pictures in the Fur Pictures and Videos Only! forum more people will see them. Please be aware that TCS does not allow links to YouTube. There is a sticky at the top of the Fur Pictures forum with instructions on how to embed videos. Can't wait to see them.

Well Cher and me are seeing a lot more of each other these days...I was watching TV this afternoon when she came over to voice her displeasure at my choice - Mobsters.  I did not know this however my wife is a cat translator so she informed me.  Apparently Cher was also telling me to rub mom's feet and go get her some ice cream too (my wife is pregnant - due 11-21).  Man I had no idea cats even knew what ice cream was so I told Cher how impressed I was with her.  I thought she said "Thank You" to me but my wife - the translator - told me Cher actually told me to hurry up and make sure the ice cream was chocolate.  Man she seems to know a lot about ice cream for a cat.

Video up in the fur vid section - better than the pics you have been asking for.  really shows her personality.

pics up on profile if I have not yet said that...going to try to figure out how to put them in another album now.

Niiiiice.  Love the pix, the vid, your narrative about Cher the kitty and your preggers wife, OHMYGOSH!!  I am a noob, too.  Only been on the site 2 or 3 days and lost a beloved kitty a couple of weeks ago, as well.  Please keep sharing about Cher.  You bring a major huge smile to my face, thank you.  

thank you for your kind words MomTo2Kitties...that means a lot to me.  My doesn't your cat look regal?  I bet he is the royalty around your house too isn't he?

So Cher thought I might have a urinary tract infection this morning.  Funny how cats think like that.  Anyway, she packed me up in this crazy carrier that was barely large enough for me and man did I scream all the way to the people doctor.  I was safe because Cher is a great driver as far as cats go.  She kept meowing at me all the way to the people doctor office, which helped but I was still scared.  When I got to the doctor office i was really scared.  There were giant people there who were way to active for my comfort.  One even ran up to my carrier and sniffed at me but his dog had him on a collar so he was not there for long.  I did make a threatening noise at him from inside my cramped carrier but he did not seem to hear.  He just wanted to play I think.  Anyway Cher kept calming me or at least trying to.  She stuck her paws in the front door and kept touching my face.  How was she worried I would not bite her?  I guess cats don't care about that.  We got into the doc office and this other nice cat named Shelby stuck me on a scale...really?  in front of everyone?  I yelled and yelled about this but by this point everyone was used to me yelling.  When she was done she could see I was distressed so she dropped a piece of pecan pie on the table in front of me.  Cher never gives me snacks so i did not know what to do.  Cher finally broke it up for me and I slowly got comfortable to eat it - man that was good!  Then another cat came in - Dr. Hen - this one had things in her ear with a hose on them connected to a round piece of steel that was VERY cold!!!  She stuck it on my chest and just held it there for a bit...then on my back...weird if you ask me...and no one offered any more pecan pie...I sure would have liked another piece....Then Dr. Hen took something out of her pocket and stuck it in my butt!!!  Not my favorite!!!  I'd rather have another piece of pecan pie!  Well Cher and Dr. Hen meowed back and forth for a while and I kept yelling although a bit quieter...I nuzzled up to Cher to let her know I needed come comfort and she gave it to me - I love Cher...she is the best owner a person can have.  Dr. Hen then took me to the back where they took out a long shiny piece of steel attached to some plastic container...Not sure what that was but I knew it was not another piece of pecan pie.  She dug in my belly real hard with her paw and then stuck that long silver thing right in my belly!!!!  Wow did that hurt!!!  I started to see something go in the container when that needle was in me...gross it looked like my pee...how embarassing...I yelled some more...Hey where is Cher?  Suddenly I felt very scared and I just wanted to see Cher so I yelled as loud as I could!!!  Soon Dr. Hen took me back to the room Cher was in and I jumped down as fast as I could.  I ran up to Cher and started rubbing my face all over her feet.  She was better than pecan pie if you ask me.  So now I am bored and Cher and Dr. Hen are meowing back and forth for like ever...sheesh...write a letter already.  I do not know what they were meowing about but I heard some phrases like "Urine is clear"  and "Behavioral", "Confidence", and after a while "Pee in the box again".  Whatever...who talks about pee anyway?  weirdos.  I keep yelling and suddenly Cher gets all excited and started meowing real loud to Dr. Hen...it seemed good though...again I cannot understand everything cats say but I heard something about a tree...maybe building one...and confidence again...whatevs time to go if you ask me...What?!!!?!!  more pecan pie?  YUM!!!  I gobbled that piece down before I could tell it tasted different than the last one...not as good at all.  Cher finally takes me home and let me loose in the dining room.  I run under the table yelling all the way letting her know how I felt.  I hid in the corner and lay down...then it hit me...wow man I feel good....I got a little light headed even...and I smiled...and I felt crazy uber calm....Cher stuck her head under the bench where I was at and meowed at me for a bit...she had a tool belt on...whatever...I did not care....i let out a half hearted yell but I am not sure even why I did that.  Whoa dude!!!  I was chillin max and Cher dropped off another piece of pecan pie...from a crinkly sounding bag...I gotta remember that noise...I like these treats...now my eyes are heavy but I don't care about anything...I think i hear Cher sawing and hammering...who cares...I'm gonna just lay here and lick my butt...peace yo.

ok time to talk litter...I have one box set up for Cher in basement where she rarely hangs out...actually just hangs out there when she comes to see me and that is only the last few days.  Even though she does not hang out in basement she uses this box for urination as well as defecation.  She always defecates in here but only sometimes urinates in here as of late.  I found out she has been peeing in the den where we first dropped her off when she moved in - it is the yellow room in the video I posted:



at 1:41 you will see the potted plant in the corner that she has been molesting.  The plant has long been gone since we found she had been digging in it however that entire corner was left open for Cher...and it became her litter box for urine .  I cut that corner of carpet out this morning until we decide what to do about it and I cleaned it all up - it was awful..she has been using that for quite some time. 

the second  box is on the main floor - same floor as the den in the video.  She has not touched that box yet however it has only been there one day.  Prior to today it had been upstairs in the master bath for 2 days.  At this point we have no box upstairs. 

Both boxes have the same litter in them...the litters are scented however she has always used the boxes to defecate in so I am assuming the scent does not bother her.  That is what I am asking about.  Is it possible for her to be all right with defecating and not urinating in that box?  If so how would that happen?  When she uses it for urination she buries the urine very deep - not sure if that means anything at all or not.

I am leaving now to get some unscented clumping litter but I wanted to know if anyone had any ideas.

Looks like you're going to need to run another errand! This time, the stop is Home Depot. You need to buy a black light. :nod: Don't bother with the "pet" black lights sold at pet stores - they're not strong enough to work effectively when you're checking your whole home. At night, walk around the entire house with the lights off and the black light on. Any spot she's peed will show up as an orange (or greenish) splotch.

The first step in breaking the cycle of peeing outside of the box is properly cleaning up the smell of pee. The scent of pee not in the box encourages kitty to keep going outside of the boxes! This explains the problem: http://www.thecatsite.com/a/how-to-remove-cat-urine

...and since she liked that corner in the den, is there a reason you can't put a litter box there? If there are a few spots she's been using somewhat regularly, I'd put boxes there! You can cut down the number of boxes in the future IF she uses any of the regularly, by SLOWLY moving them to where you want them to be. And I mean inches a day. And if you want to consolidate five or six boxes down to two, just slowly move one of the boxes at a time to one of the boxes in use that you like where it is, until they're next to each other, then remove one.

But if I were in your shoes, with a declawed kitty peeing outside the box, I would put out a lot of boxes, each with different litter. See if she'll use any with regularity. :nod:

I'd try clay litter (a PIA because it doesn't clump - but easier than cleaning up pee all the time).

I would DEFINITELY try Dr. Elsley's Cat Attract litter in at least one of the boxes. :nod: This alone may do the trick. :cross:

But I'd try lots of boxes, a variety of litters, and I would definitely go through my home with a black light, and get all that pee up - and use that as a guide to where to put out some litter boxes.

OH! And any time you see her use a box to pee, praise the heck out of her!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (And maybe give her some pecan pie ). Cats respond so much better to positive reinforcement than negative. :rub:

OH! When it comes to cleaning up cat pee, there are several enzyme cleaners recommended in the article. But Urine Off has been getting good reviews, and apparently leaves the area smelling a bit like soap. We use Nok Out, but it's only available for purchase online.

OH MY!!! I am practically in stitches over your thread, Arlo NOT in anyway over your issues with your dear Cher!!! I just mean your way with words, you are really funny and I feel like I am ready a comedy. I don't even know what to add here - :lol3: But I will certainly keep up with your daily updates :nod: You have been given great advice above. I do think adding more open litter boxes around the house with even different types of litter might benefit you. Cher will let you know for sure which one she prefers She is something else :rub: :heart3: Thank you for working SO hard to make things work out with Cher. It is quite refreshing to hear

I agree with LDG and Feralvr about offering Cher a buffet of litters to choose from (or try a side-by-side round robin style of competition between 2 at a time). I did that with one of my cats when he started peeing in the living room. He had out-of-control diabetes and it turned out that the clumping litters didn't absorb his large amounts of pee fast enough, so it would end up pooling around his feet. When I tried Yesterday's News paper pellets, he was much happier (pee would run down between the pellets and wouldn't get on his little feetsies).

Arlo Haarsma said:

Both boxes have the same litter in them...the litters are scented however she has always used the boxes to defecate in so I am assuming the scent does not bother her.  That is what I am asking about.  Is it possible for her to be all right with defecating and not urinating in that box?  If so how would that happen?  When she uses it for urination she buries the urine very deep - not sure if that means anything at all or not.

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One thing that came to mind is that perhaps when the scented litter gets wet, it releases more perfume. Maybe that extra odour supersedes Cher's tolerance threshold and she opts for less aromatic locations to pee in. So I'm glad to hear that you're picking up an unscented one. Might also get a small bag of the softer texture Yesterday's News  (unscented) to see if she prefers paper over clay. There are also some other non-clay clumping litters like Feline Fresh pine and Blue Buffalo walnut (my 2 youngsters like this one the best). 

lol - a buffet of litters.  Conjures up strange images...maybe that is just me.  My vet has yesterday's news although they suggested trying other things first due to cost and relative low satisfaction.  Imagine my surprise when my vet told me my peeps at TCS were wrong!!  Well she did not say wrong actually she just thought I might want to try another brand before I got to yesterday's news.  She has several cats and they do not like it...nor does she except for after a surgery...I can dig that...besides it is always there.  I want to try to find that cat attracting one...that sounds promising to me.

Update on Cher...Did you know cats do not sleep at night?  I mean did you really know this?  Did you also know cats can be mischievous? Especially when they work with wives against husbands?  Last night I went to bed early as was my wife's idea however she cannot fall asleep for anything.  I can (and have many a time) fall asleep in the middle of a sentence.  Anyway, there I was laying asleep after playing with Cher and listening to mom's day when all if a sudden someone rubs a diesel powered wet sanding block across my head right behind my ear...Of course I wake up instantly (apparently it was not instant to the humorous satisfaction of my wife) and find my wife's face beet red and Cher purring up a storm.  Because my wife looked like she was going to explode I dealt with her first.  I touched her arm to see if she was OK and she exploded with laughter.  I looked down to make sure my pajama pants were still on feeling embarassed already - I had no idea what she was laughing at.  This only added to the peals of laughter.  Then someone began sanding the grizzly fur spots on my forearm....OK it all started making sense to me now...Cher was licking my hair while I was sleeping and my wife had found this too humorous.  She told me I had brought my hand up several times to "itch" where Cher was licking on my head only to have Cher back her head away until I was done interrupting her and then pick right up where she left off as soon as my hand was back at my side.  This is what my wife found so humorous.  I get it now...I thought we loved each other...I thought we were a team.



I thought that was funny, but also cool.  Cher has never done that before and with an additional Feliway diffuser as of this afternoon I can only attribute this behavior to a more relaxed Cher...either that or beef gravy on a spatula in the drawer of my wife's bedside table - lol. Cher is beginning to play now too so I think I will have to get a laser light one of these nights when I get up early...I can then play all over the bed with this laser until she wakes up...muwuhahahaha!!!  I would never do that to my princess...would I?

Make it stop   Make it stop 

You sir, are one funny guy   Women and cats, it's a primal connection, what are you gonna do.

No seriously, with all your compassion for Cher, you're going to make an amazing father. God bless you.                           

Or you could try the spatula-and-beef-gravy. :nod:

oh thank you purrfectlycat....I love the kind words.  I had always wanted to be a writer but I was never sure I could make the grade.  It is good and motivational to hear these things from you.

L...come on...really?  spatula joke?  lol...thank you - you rock

Hmph, who says you've got to be paid to be a writer? I write a lot--I keep a blog--and I have fun with it. I think if I were paid, I'd lose interest. I had a couple publishers offer me a book deal, but honestly I care more about finishing my degree, and I can only do so much at once. I think I prefer to write for free, so it's more fun. And, anyway, when I'm a proper scientist, I'll have the advantage because when I publish in journals, my articles will actually be readable! I've read journal articles from Nobel prizewinners who drowned the whole thing in jargon and disconnected ideas--brilliant scientists, but boy do they need writing lessons sometimes. I can focus on just learning how to do good research, and not worry about being able to write well.

Anyways. Yes. Let's actually get back to the kitty, shall we? I do think maybe she's one of those skittish, scared cats who never quite feels safe. One of the things you can do is make sure she always has access to one of her "safety signals". For my cat Christy that means small boxes, her cardboard scratchers, a high perch--things that make her feel like she can see what's around her, like her back and sides are protected. The paranoia isn't so bad for them when they are in surroundings that feel safe. Another thing to remember is that a scaredy-cat like yours often likes to know exactly what is going on, to control her environment. So she prefers to cuddle with you when you're lying down--you don't make sudden movements, and you're "shorter" that way. She knows you'll stay put instead of grabbing her round the middle and carrying her off to who-knows-where. The more predictable you are, the more you approach her from the front so she can see exactly what you're doing, the easier it'll be for her to suppress her fearful impulses and interact with you.

Thank you so much Callista.  I appreciate the advice.  I will implement several of those ideas together.  We are currently in the process of constructing a ramp up to a perch by a window.

A ramp? I bet she can jump...... How high is the window?

OH you are a stitch!!!!!!!!!!! I love the bed head caption - SO I guess Cher does not hate you after all. In fact, the opposite OR either that, she just wants to make your wife laugh at you or make you look like a "crazy" cat gent. :lol3: btw - we women and our cats stick together like glue