I had to put my cat to sleep yesterday And I need some help please

I have ( had ) two boys from the same litter, brothers.. Well about 5 days ago the bigger one Arthur was acting strange.. Not eating much.. ect. Then the next day he was fine, running, playing, eating ect. Well I woke up to him breathing badly yesterday at 330 am.. I took him immediatly to the hosp and the vet said he had a blood clot, and he lost his back legs.. He jumped on my bed at 315 am and with in 45 min total he lost both back legs.. no pulse and they were cold. Im so Distraught over this entire thing.. he was always healthy and only 8.

Well while i hurried to get dressed before I took him to the hosp his brother was washing Arthurs hands and face.. This makes me cry violently.. Is it possiable My Charlie knew Arthur wasnt coming home.. Since yesterday I have been giving my charlie a lot of attention.. and playing and to be real honest he hasnt really cried for arthur yet.. But I guess my question is.. Since my boys Did EVERYTHING together.. Is my Charlie gonna get depressed? Start crying for arthur? Do I get another buddy for him eventually.. I feel bad thats hes alone.. And I want him to be happy..

Ideas please.. Thanks so much.  Gina

I know this doesn't help much, but here's a link to a blog where others have gone through this same terrible event.  Some of their cats were very young, 2 yrs.  There really isn't much you could have done different.  I am glad you were there when it began initially so you could get him to the vet right away. 

Don't make any changes to your cat family just yet.  Take some time to process everything that has happened and be extra gentle with Charlie, letting him know everything's going to be okay.

I know this is a very hard time for you.  I am still not over the loss of my sweet girl nearly a year ago to undiagnosed kidney and heart failure.  It really is hard to lose something we love so much. 

I hope you can find some comfort in knowing that you gave him a very loving home and he will be missed.  Not all cats are so lucky, nor are people who miss out on such a wonderful bond.

{{{Hugs}}} to you.  I feel your pain and am crying as I write this, so I apologize if it isn't the best composed message of comfort. 

This is the scenario we all dread, the very sudden extreme illness when nothing can be done to save your cat and there are very minor signs that anything is wrong. About a year ago, I came home to find a 7-year-old foster who had been in very fine health dead on a sofa. He'd shown signs of a possible cold the evening before, I'd put him in a bedroom alone and made an appointment for him to see the vet that afternoon. With the many cats of my own and many I have fostered, this had never happened to me before and I felt terrible guilt that he'd been alone, not even with the company of his sister. The vet said it was probably a stroke. I still think of Roger Rabbit with his crossed eyes who always made me smile when I looked at him.

While you should wait a while to find a new companion for Charlie, don't wait long enough for him to start thinking of himself as king of his domain. He needs to be able to remember how to share. The usual advice, and I've found this generally works well, is to introduce a cat of the opposite gender into  your home so there is less likelihood of problems.  An older female cat who will groom him and cuddle him, or a younger female who will play with him.

I'm sorry about Arthur, he died far too young.
 

There was nothing you could have done. Even if you had taken him to the vet right away, and given his early symptoms being so vague, there is almost zero chance that a vet would have been able to diagnose a blood clot. 

I think yes that Charlie knew something was wrong and was giving Arthur kisses and hugs and support. It is great that they were so bonded that way :-). And I would be crying too. My own boy kitty is sick and it is hard to even think of him gone :-(.

I think your Charlie will definitely miss the routine of him and Arthur. Having said that, cats don't always mourn in the way that we expect. If Arthur got more attention, Charlie may like being the main boy now. 

If and when you decide to adopt another kitty, think about getting a very friendly kitty and be sure to ask the rescue/adoption groups to find you a kitty who they know for sure likes to be around other cats and who likes to groom other kitties and be groomed by them. A good adoption group will know that. And ask for a longer trial period. Explain your situation. If Charlie is not a dominant kitty then it may not matter if the new kitty is dominant or not, so long as they are friendly to other cats and like to groom and be groomed. Don't adopt any kittens younger than 6 months. You need to know their personality and anything younger than 6 mos you won't really see what they are like- yes there are some exceptions but not many and there will be plenty of younger kitties around as the summer wears on, so you will have your pick. Don't get any kitties too young! :-)

And like the other poster said, take time to grieve. I am so so sorry. :-( :-(   Just remember you were a wonderful parent to your kitty and he had a wonderful life with you and Charlie. My thoughts and prayers are with you, that you will get over this in time :-(.

Thank you all for your kind words.

Just remember all the good times you all had.  It does help some.  We all give you hugs and purrs and head swipes.  When you feel like it, post a tribute to him on Crossing the Bridge.

My brother always tells me:  When we lose a pet, it leaves a hole in our heart.  A new pet, when you are ready for one, doesn't cover the hole completely but does partly heal it.

From me, Silly, Sheba, Julie, Sugar and Spice.........

Hey there. I'm sorry for your loss. the loss of a family 4-legged friend is hard. Give yourself some time to grieve and give your remaining cat lots of attention.

I am very sorry for your loss - it is hard to deal with. When my Wellington lost his brother very suddenly he grieved and looked for him for about 6 weeks. I had other cats but he was not interested in bonding with any of them. It was not till about 3 months later, when I adopted a new stray that turned up, what he found a new buddy in Biscotte. That was 6 years ago and theya re still best friends. But until you feel ready for maybe getting another companion for him all you can do is give him lots of attention and talk to him -cats love our voices as comfort.

I'm very sorry for your loss. Our 13-year-old cat has HCM, and our vets have warned us that he could go quite quickly with a saddle thrombosis, like your Arthur. Charlie is certain to grieve in his own way and at his own pace, and it's quite possible that he sensed that Arthur was leaving you. RIP, Arthur.

Some dear friends of mine told me this happened to one of their two beloved cats, at a young age and very unexpectedly as well.  How awful it is to lose someone you love, in any way!  One of our sweet girls passed very suddenly and unexpectedly, we think due to an aneurism because she showed absolutely no symptoms of illness whatsoever.  Another beloved cat passed overnight, again, with no symptoms, and in midlife but not by any means old.  We think this could have been due to hypertrophic cardiomyopathy, as she had been diagnosed some years prior with a heart condition, and HC does run in the bloodlines of certain longhaired cats (she was Balinese mix).  

Charlie is undoubtedly missing his brother, and will for some time, if not always, just as humans do.  Giving him lots and lots of love will help to ease his grief, and there is no "replacing" a loved one (of any species), but in time, you may think about adopting another needy and deserving cat, who will be a buddy to you both.  This is what we have done in the past, knowing it is the best possible living tribute to our lost loved one, and that with so many sweet cats in need of loving, forever homes, there is space in our home and hearts for someone else who would benefit from it so much.

My heartfelt condolences for your loss.  I hope you know that he is watching over you always, and that you will all be reunited in due time, never to part.  

   

ginataccola said:

I have ( had ) two boys from the same litter, brothers.. Well about 5 days ago the bigger one Arthur was acting strange.. Not eating much.. ect. Then the next day he was fine, running, playing, eating ect. Well I woke up to him breathing badly yesterday at 330 am.. I took him immediatly to the hosp and the vet said he had a blood clot, and he lost his back legs.. He jumped on my bed at 315 am and with in 45 min total he lost both back legs.. no pulse and they were cold. Im so Distraught over this entire thing.. he was always healthy and only 8.

Well while i hurried to get dressed before I took him to the hosp his brother was washing Arthurs hands and face.. This makes me cry violently.. Is it possiable My Charlie knew Arthur wasnt coming home.. Since yesterday I have been giving my charlie a lot of attention.. and playing and to be real honest he hasnt really cried for arthur yet.. But I guess my question is.. Since my boys Did EVERYTHING together.. Is my Charlie gonna get depressed? Start crying for arthur? Do I get another buddy for him eventually.. I feel bad thats hes alone.. And I want him to be happy..

Ideas please.. Thanks so much.  Gina

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Some wise person once said not to make decisions based on your emotions, and I know your emotions are raw right now.  

I know you will never ever really get over missing Arthur yourself - but then - that just shows how much Arthur was loved. I encourage you to take some time, and just watch Charlie and then take your cues from him.

I weep with you,

Gloria

OH my heart is breaking for you, hun. This brings memories back, painful ones for me and for my cat, Pipsqueak. Same thing as your Charlie. Pipsqueak had to watch Potsie suffer with heart failure until we got home and found him, rushed him to the vet and it was too late. Pipsqueak was laying right next to Potsie when we got home and found him gasping and panting for breath. Pipsqueak knew that Potsie was not coming home. So very sad for us and for our kitties. They do grieve too. I am sorry you lost Arthur. You and Charlie need each other right now. Mega vibes to you both.

RIP dear sweet boy Arthur You will be missed very, very much.....

It's very strange how Charlie is acting now.. he has not cried for Arthur yet.. he has been playing more than normal, eating.. sleeping.. when I cry he will let out a wimper.. but if I pull it together so does he. I'm just very worried he will get depressed or lonely.. does anyone know any signs of loneliness?, thank you everyone for your kind kind words. This has been a difficult fee days.
Gina

ginataccola said:

It's very strange how Charlie is acting now.. he has not cried for Arthur yet.. he has been playing more than normal, eating.. sleeping.. when I cry he will let out a wimper.. but if I pull it together so does he. I'm just very worried he will get depressed or lonely.. does anyone know any signs of loneliness?, thank you everyone for your kind kind words. This has been a difficult fee days.
Gina

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If he's normal - let him be normal - try not to find problems when there aren't ... being worried about something that might happen doesn't help - just be observant, like you are.  

Arthur

Almost 6 months ago I lost one of two cats, a 16 yr old female.  Same as yours, her back half just quit working.  My other cat, a male one year younger, was out of sorts for quite a while.  The male was mostly an outside cat, the female inside.  My front door is glass, and every morning and afternoon the two would sit there on either side of the door just visiting with each other.

After the female died, every morning and afternoon, my boy cat would yowl at the door for about ten minutes or so.  Without fail, he would yowl at the same time of day, every day, that the two of them would sit with each other by the front door.  It has only been in the last 3-4 weeks that he finally stopped the yowling.

Who really knows what is going on in his mind, but the two of them had been together for his whole 15 years.  So guess it seems natural to think that he missed her presence in some way.

So sorry for your loss, I know I was devastated when my cat died, which still strikes me.  Still get a bit sad about it, but I reflect how lucky I was to have a good kitty friend.  You had a good buddy, and so did your other cat.  Things will get better with time. Hang in there.
 

Dear Gina,
First of all my deepest condolences .....I can't think of anything you could have done differently, and when it was clear there was no choice, you comforted him as he left his life as your well loved companion.
For what it's worth, I'd suggest you and his brother comfort each other for awhile. You'll know when it's right to get another playmate for him.....or he may decide he likes being an only cat now that he's a bit older! Every time my older cat spends a day or two at the vet (he's in poor health), my younger female cat gets a real attitude when he comes home - she's happy when she's the only one home and gets all the attention!

Thinking of you,
Marta