post #1 of 23
8/30/03 at 8:48am
|Originally posted by annabelle33
I'm not particularly old and I guess on the spectrum I'm actually pretty young. But I am 23 and a college graduate and feel like it's time to move on with my life. But for some reason I end up stuck in the same place. When I was younger I thought I'd actually be doing something at this age, but I'm not really doing anything.
So lets start with basics and as a Yorkshireman- you dont get any more basic than me! You are 23 - thats young!!!! I am 34 and pegging out however, you are a graduate of college - so you are clearly well educated and I applaud you on that - however you are stuck in a rutt. I have been in the same job for donkeys years and know that I am stuck and am wanting to get out - however, you are doing something and are in a position to get on with something and do it. The change that you are wanting - the only person that is capable of carrying this out is you. I cant do it and not one person can, its time to kick yourself up the butt and get on and make a change for the better.
"I long for a family, a home, and a career."
At 23 I was as well - I wanted to settle down - have a familly and be the big responsible adult. Women mature faster than men (my wife swears I am still 12!) and its natural to want to start getting settled. I assume that you are in your own place so you are settled down already. A career - i seem to be able to point everyone else in a good direction but when it comes to me - I cant do anything for myself...however, look on line - there are thousands of sites and you may just get the peepers opened and a familly - thats all in due course young lady - all in due course. You have a life to lead before those little ankle biters come round your feet and suddenly, they are screaming mum all night and you are up doing elvis impressions in the middle of the night as you change nappies ( lifting dirty nappy and doing uh huh noises). These things all follow a pattern and kids will come although my cat always slept between Carol and I and I understand sex had something to do with it although unsure when .......
"I envy people who are out buying halloween decorations because that means they have something to decorate."
we dont do halloween that big over here. Years ago, before Christopher arrived, they used to come round trick or treating round my house. I just got fed up with it always going to the door, so I went upstairs, borrowed some of my wife's makeup inc lipstick, turned myself into the animal from hell. Got a rubber snake and dressed only in boxer shorts, I placed the snake round my neck. The next time a kid opened the door, he was off faster than a shot. I must have looked quite a sight, naked except shorts, whole tonne of make up and a huge plastic snake. For some reason the following year we did not get any kids at all?? any ideas why??
I can't wait to cook thanksgiving dinner, to wrap christmas presents signed "from santa," and to read stories to my children before bed.
All in good time my little one, all in good time. Mine is 4 next friday, he already has looked at everything and has a mental idea what he is seeking from santa...daddy here smiles and thinks - overtime may be an idea!!!
I want a career where I am really doing something I love,
Get up and look on line - change happens in a second, a split second. Only you can get off your rear and do something about it.
and then I come home to a man that I love and beautiful kids that I love.
Time - thats all - be patient.
There seem to be 2 groups of people in my area that are my age: the young parents and the party animals. The parents are too busy to hang out and the party animals just want to drink and have fun. Me, I guess I'm not in any group. I'm just me wishing I was someone else.
I was like that - I never wanted to get drunk or hell raising - believe me in later life - its stood me in a lot better stead. Be yourself and you will find people want to be with you more.
"I used to base my judgement of a potential husband on cuteness and personality. Now I'm judging them on money and personality. Not because I'm materialistic, but because I want someone who is at a point in his life to settle down and raise children. It really all comes down to children and a home."
No it does not - money is not everything at all. I would rather be married to my wife and in love with her and skint than have money and unhappy. If a man can make you laugh without showing you the size of his .... wallet - bet you thought I was gonna say something else there - its more important than cash. Cash is a means to buy something - being with someone you love is priceless and all this takes time. A realtionship is like a plant, it needs to be grown and nurtured slowly but surely. Dont rush it.
I have went thru 2 fiances and 2 more that asked. What are my chances of really finding someone for me? I don't ever want a divorce, but people change. A wedding band doesn't alter the fact that in 5 years he could be a completely different person, and in reality I know that I myself could be a different person. How do you deal with the uncertainity? Marriage has to be the biggest risk ever, for the hope of the biggest rewards ever.
Nothing is for ever, I hope and pray i never split with Carol and we have nearly done it more than a few times. We stay together and are both stubborn - marriage is not a risk, its a commitment to each other - where he says something like "whats mine is yours" and you say "whats mine is my own"!!!!
I guess I'm going thru a nesting stage right now. Maybe it's because I've been out of work with a lot of time to think, or maybe it's just my biological clock ticking away.
Thats a crock - no ticking heard on this side of the pond.
Just someone who wants a little TLC
someone cheer me uP!!
|Originally posted by annabelle33
lmao.. thanks kev You put things in perspective well. I'm depressed because I was called to interview for this awesome job while I was on vacation and they weren't willing to wait until I got back, so now I'm back to the drawing board.
That was a bit of bad news , however, in my opinion you were way too good for them anyway and if thats the case - to heck with them - there are jobs like fish in the sea - plenty more of them.
Trust me, it's not easy for a recent grad to get a job in a town with more cows then people..
Sounds like that song " Mooooove over, Mooove your body real closer" speaking of cows, what was the first person that worked out how to milk a cow by hand thinking he was doing?????
I do not have my own place at this moment, but am trying.. I can't afford much and my parents are cool enough to let me live here (as they lived with their parents until they got married--it's kind of the standard in our culture)..
I did the same for years - Carol and I lived with my mother. I was glad to break free!!
It's not like I want babies NOW, but I feel if I get a career, work about 4 years, getting married will take about 2 additional, so by then I'll be around 29, then I don't want to have kids right after marriage, so maybe wait 3 years, then I'll be 32... so I need to get started right away! But the more I plan the more stupid things happen to screw it up..
No you dont - get a career first, then get a place, then you want to meet mr right and not mr right now. So what about the age thing and babies - I was near as 30 when Christopher arrived - have a baby for the right reasons - for love and nothing else. So what if you were 32 when the little one arrived, or 33, 34 or 36
Its better to give the little one security and love than anything else.
In my wife town where she is from, if you aint preggers by 16 - 18, you have something wrong with you. carol was nothing like it when she had our son.
All this takes time and at your age - you have heaps of the stuff.
Have a great labour weekend and for any woman out there that goes into labour on weekend - never have a child by ceasarean section unless absolutely ness. The reason is simple. As the child gets older, every time you stop the car, they always get out of the sunroof!!
But you did help me a bit! Now on my list of qualifications for men is a big "NO SMART ASSES" or condescending individuals, sugar dumpling, so thanks for that at least!
|Originally posted by Pat & Alix
you will find the right person - or he will find you
|Start looking for a job, why would you think a job that calls you for an interview would sit around and wait for you to come back from 'vacation'?!! Anyone here experienced that? That would be great to tell a job who wants an interview 'uh, yeah I'm on vacation, can you wait for me to get back?' haaaa!!! That's the real world!!!!|