Need help

I feel so horrible and don't know what to do.   We adopted a stray cat in February after our cat of 17 years died.   Since she had been a stray, I had a hard time keeping her in the house.   She would go out, but always stayed in our yard.

While leaving for work yesterday, I accidentely ran her over.     I am always really careful and thought she was out of my way.    It was dark though and I didn't see her.     We rushed her to the Emergency Vet and after assessing her, they advised us to put her down.     My 6 year old was in the car with time.   I took him to school and didn't tell him until she was gone.    He seems okay with it, but I feel like the absolute worst person in the world.   So we've lost two cats in two months.   My Dad also died unexpectenly a month ago.   I feel horrible.   Anyone have any experience with this???

Pam

AWWWW hun..... My heart goes out to you this morning hearing of this accident. I am SO sorry for your loss of your new kitty.... and all of the losses you have endured in the last two months. Sorry about your dad.... The cat tradegy was just a terrible, unexpected accident... just the worst kind. Please know that you are a good person with a good heart taking in this stray cat in February. This was just an awful accident and I am so very sorry this happened. Things like this do happen and we hear stories of such all the time. You are not alone in your grief and pain over this. Loads of vibes coming your way this morning.... keep posting and talking about it. That will help :nod:

p.s. Welcome to TCS ..... glad you found us!!!! I hope you do end up adopting another kitty soon.... so many need loving homes :heart3:... don't let this stop you from opening up your home to another needy kitty. :kitty2:

Oh I'm so sorry.  I know it sounds cliche; but these things do happen.  I'm sure that doesn't make it much easier to deal with.  But don't beat yourself up forever.  I'm not sure what I could say to make it easier for you; but it sounds like you did a great thing for your kitty while he was with you.

Thanks, I know it was an accident, but I just feel awful.    My son is already asking for a new kitty, so we will see what we can do.  I told him we could make like grave markers for Tigger (17 yr old) and Ally (the one from yesterday).   I just keep thinking if I hadn't let her out, if I'd checked one more time, this woudn't have happened.    I also feel like my son and DH are blaming me, I know they aren't, but I guess that's just my own guilt.    I also feel terrible that she was in pain.   I did tell my son Granddaddy would take good care of Ally in Heaven.   I just don't feel like I can ever feel like myself again.  

Oh hun, I am so, so incredibly sorry to read this. Accidents unfortunately happen, no matter how diligent we are. My only advice would be to take one day at a time, keep your chin up and know the pain will get better in time.

Oh sweetie   accidents happen. I know that doesn't make you feel any better but IT WAS NOT YOUR FAULT! Some cats just are miserable being trapped inside and are happier outside, especially if that is what they are used to. I don't know where you're located, but if you're having the kind of early spring that we're having, none of my cats want to stay inside. I know we want to try to make their environment as safe as possible but, just like kids, they can't survive in a plastic bubble. Take comfort in the fact that you gave Ally love and a home and the freedom to be who she wanted to be. 

Oh I am SO SORRY...it would devastate me too...and I would feel guilty and responsible too, if only...if I had...but we all know things don't work that way, accidents happen, very sad just the same.

I am a cat rescuer, and I know about loss, and guilt, it's the downside of rescue. I have lost cats and kittens in the past, and they, nor their stories will ever be forgotten, but I HAD to come to a realization in my heart and soul, in order to move on and continue in rescue, to accept the bad with the good. Know that I at least made a difference in a life. Much, much more than what they had.

Know this-you took in a homeless, unloved, unwanted soul, lost soul with no place in this world, without the feeling of belonging, and even though for only a short time, you gave this kitty what it was missing inside, care, a name, identity, food, warmth, love, stability, all of it. You gave Ally worth.

I also believe that the tremendous pain that Ally went through, was either bearable, or her body went into a state of numbness from the shock. I do not believe that for example, if your arm was suddenly ripped off of your body, that you would feel it like we imagine, when serious trauma happens to us, or any living thing, our senses shut down.

Just thought I'd say that, since you mentioned seeing her in pain like that.

Time heals all, it will be okay. 

Aww, thanks so much everyone, your kind words have made me feel better.     And, I really don't feel Ally was feeling much pain.    Without going into to much detail, the Vet said she was in shock and she was showing signs of having no feeling.    I know letting her go was the best for her, as I know I did the best for poor Tigger two months ago.   When I think of it, I felt guilt over Tigger as well.   I was worried I let her hold on too long, should have noticed she was sick sooner.     When we put her down, the Vet told me cats were great at hiding illness and symptoms.  I know all too well, guilt is a symptom of grief.    Anyway, thanks for letting me ramble, it helps.  

I'm so sorry Accidents happen, and guilting ourselves doesn't help but I know it is so hard not to. When my Monte was hit by a car, I blamed myself for awhile - if only I hadn't let him out that evening, if only I made sure he came in when I normally did, etc. You gave Ally a good life while she was with you, and we all know that it wasn't your fault what happened.

I can understand your pain, but please don't blame yourself.  You didn't do anything on purpose - it was just a horrible accident.

Just think now that Tigger is taking care of Ally at Rainbow Bridge.

Pamm, I just wanted to say I know exactly what you are going through. When I was five, my mom did the same thing to a stray kitten we had taken in. I got over the incident quickly; I think small children understand that things die, and they're able to accept it and move on without so much of the emotional trauma adults have trouble with. It was a good teaching moment for my parents about the nature of life and death, and we buried kitty in the backyard together.

I know you're feeling guilty, but accidents really do happen.

Thanks again everyone.     I still feel super gulty, but I am feeling a bit better than yesterday.    We are adopting a new kitten, my son is just overjoyed at the thought.   .   I feel like I am betraying Ally, but giving an animal a home is always a good thing.   We adopted Ally right after Tigger died and it helped us heal, so hopefully this will help too.    I feel pretty unworthy of another animal right now, but I know that's just my guilt talking.  

RIP Ally and Tigger.

I feel bad for every animal I hit, and it happens a few times each year.  Usually it's wild animals (rabbits, skunks, armadillos, possums, raccoons), but the occasional domestic animal gets out on the interstate.  I had two close calls a couple of weeks ago, but both animals headed back to the shoulder before I got there. 

But, in looking back, most of us realize that we caused some of the problems our pets suffered from.  We did it out of ignorance, or lack of resources, but when I think about a few of them, I really feel bad about them.