Decided to take in a feral to tame...did I make the right choice?

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ellevee

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Honestly, I have all the time & patience in the world for her! She can hide out as long as she wants to but I'm afraid it'd be cruel & selfish to keep her in this state. I just hope she is happy with a warm safe place to sleep and food available 24/7. At times, her expression looks really sad or pissed off. My SO remarked last night that she has crazy eyes, she just stares at us with her head tilted down a bit, like she wants to kill us in our sleep


Last night we opened the door to her crate, allowing her to roam the room. We placed a small cat bed in the room and an extra litter box on the opposite side of the room. I'm happy to report that this morning I discovered she had used the second litter box! I'm relieved to know she's comfortable moving around and exploring. For the most part though, she is still hiding in her carrier and does not accept food from us. Not even delicious smelling tuna...I will leave it for her in the evening and check on her 4-5 hours later before I go to bed and she still will not have touched it. By morning it is all gone though! She also has a bowl of dry kibble to munch on. Should we stop leaving food out in order to have her better associate us with food? I feel like if I do timed-feedings of wet food, she will just never eat it and only eat dry food...but I guess it may be about time to start trying?
 

speakhandsforme

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Should we stop leaving food out in order to have her better associate us with food? I feel like if I do timed-feedings of wet food, she will just never eat it and only eat dry food...but I guess it may be about time to start trying?
If you're not currently worried about her weight, I would do this. :nod: If she goes on a hunger strike for more than 24 hours, definitely put the kibble back.
 

jtbo

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Head tilted and watching, that for me looks that cat is observing something that is new to her and something that she is not quite certain what she must think about it, but it means she is curious which is good.
 

feralvr

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WOW- she ventured out of her cage and investigated her room :clap::clap: Limpy is doing incredibly well - very well :nod: I would try offering the wet meals a few times a day. It is very typical for them to eat during the night when all is quiet and they feel safe. I would keep leaving food out at night though at least for another few days. Then, you could try to do the timed meals. I always do scheduled meals after about of week of them settling in. It makes the process of trust move along much quicker as the cat's start to look for you at mealtime. Feed the exact same time each day too. Limpy will come to know her mealtimes very fast.

The look in her eyes is fear and uncertainty of both you and your SO. :lol3: Look away from her often and blink very slowly. Don't stare directly at her eyes - put your head down too :lol3: and look away. Your doing a great job here and I wouldn't be surprised if in a couple more week's you will be much further along with her :hugs: BUT :anon: no expectations here, right :D :lol3: :clap:
 
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ellevee

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Hey all, I have some small but important updates! Over the weekend, I spent some time sitting with her, talking and singing to her. I was singing Bonnie Raitt's "I Can't Make You Love Me" (how appropriate, hehe) and she actually closed her eyes and drifted off to sleep for a bit! My SO has also been sitting with her when I'm not home and he says she's been squinting and looking more relaxed.

We have been feeding her various canned food from Blue Buffalo and Weruva (what our other cats eat) but she doesn't seem to be a big fan of them. I leave her like a quarter of a can and she only seems to take a few bites, leaving the rest to dry and finishing up her kibbles instead. When she was outdoors, we were feeding her Friskies cans and she was eating it up. I think I may try that instead of the higher quality stuff we have, since that is probably what she is used to. She likes tuna, but I know too much fish isn't good for her nor is too much dry food.
 

feralvr

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HOW CUTE, your singing that song to Limpy :music: :music3: :clap::clap::clap::clap::clap: Your doing a great job, both you and your SO :nod: :bigthumb: Absolutely, offer her the same food she is used too, the Friskies. Nothing wrong with that. I always say, IMO :lol3:, that any wet food is better than any dry food on any day. :D You could try Fancy Feast too. But at least she is eating, even if it is the dry food. She must eat at this point, and once she settles more into a routine and feels comfortable, she might be more apt to try the new wonderful, better quality wet foods you have to offer. :D :vibes::vibes:
 
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catwoman707

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That particular song is just the right type to sing to a feral! This is what mine are used to, as I was saying, they don't care if I'm off a note or 2 :D

You might not want to waste money with the better canned foods just now, the friskies will be like a familiar old friend to her. In time you can try adding a bit of better into her friskies until eventually she is eating better quality canned. I know this one first hand!

You are doing very, very well. BTW she is quite a beauty, what a great photo of her, side view just sort of gazing/chilling...
 

claraadele

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I have my own feral that I turned around. She was only 3 months when she came to me, but completely untouchable. I did a lot of sitting/laying down with wet food nearby. I would often take a book or my laptop and just sit in the same room as her, just letting her get used to my presence. Eventually she let her curiousity overcome her and starting coming closer and closer to me.

It took time, a lot of time. It was six months before I could touch her regularly (and by touch, I mean touch her back once and she was gone). It was a full year before she finally became the snuggle-bug she is now.

But it was totally worth it. I almost like getting shy/feral cats better than outgoing cats, because the journey is so rewarding. The joy you feel each time the cat takes another step forward towards being social makes the entire process something to treasure. I remember the first time my ex-feral purred for me. I was so excited. I crept out of my room and downstairs and then allowed myself to jump around and squeal.
 

feralvr

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I have my own feral that I turned around. She was only 3 months when she came to me, but completely untouchable. I did a lot of sitting/laying down with wet food nearby. I would often take a book or my laptop and just sit in the same room as her, just letting her get used to my presence. Eventually she let her curiousity overcome her and starting coming closer and closer to me.

It took time, a lot of time. It was six months before I could touch her regularly (and by touch, I mean touch her back once and she was gone). It was a full year before she finally became the snuggle-bug she is now.

But it was totally worth it. I almost like getting shy/feral cats better than outgoing cats, because the journey is so rewarding. The joy you feel each time the cat takes another step forward towards being social makes the entire process something to treasure. I remember the first time my ex-feral purred for me. I was so excited. I crept out of my room and downstairs and then allowed myself to jump around and squeal.
AWWW :hugs::hugs::hugs::hugs: YES.... it IS the best feeling in the world, isn't it??!!!! So rewarding and I got a giggle :lol3: in that you waited till you were downstairs to have yourself a celebration of your first feral purr :rub: :bigthumb: :woohoo: It is so worth the long journey :nod:
 
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sarajean

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I also found out that the vet estimated her age to be 6 years old! Does anyone have experience with taming a feral that old? Of course, being 6 years old doesn't necessarily mean she's been out there for all her life
You can do it! I actually am working with a 5 year old stray now. Your stray sounds like she has a few more trust issues then mine did when I took her in but that is not hard to work for. I found feeding time was when we really got to bond with our Stray (Sweetie). We always have dry food and water out for her, but give her wet food 2 times a day, because she was less the 4 pounds when we took her in she needed the extra food. When you  feed her just sit and watch, try gently petting her while she eats. It can take a while to build enough trust but try to feed her out of your hand, we use cat treats.

It is totally possable to tame a stray that old, it just takes time. Give her lots of hiding placed, and never force her to do anything she doesn't want to, and she'll let you know. After 3 weeks with our sweetie she eats out of our hands, is starting to come when called, and loves her pets, and expects them at meal time :)

You can do it, and you made the right choice. I asked myself that a lot when we first took her in, but I have no doubt that it was the right thing to do. I watched a helpful video series on youtube about working with strays, though they were dealing with kittens up to 6 months, but it's a good starting point, it's called Tough Love.  It's about 30 mins long, but it gave me lots of good ideas.



I think you hit a good point. Though she may be scared now, she is in a much better place with a comfy place to sleep and all the food she can eat. I bet she realizes that this is better for her. Just trust yourself, she will come around. 
 
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ellevee

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It's been a week since I last posted and not much has changed. In a few days, she will have been here for 3 weeks. She is still hiding in her carrier, either watching us or sleeping when we are in the room. She is not eating wet food as regularly as I hoped she would. A few days ago, I started leaving her half a can of Friskies and she ate it all up by the next morning like I had hoped. So I left her the other half of the can before I went to work, but she didn't touch it all day (she ate her dry kibbles instead). I tossed it out and then discovered she had a bit of diarrhea in the litter box, probably from the wet food she had the night before, which explains why she didn't eat it again.

On the upside, she is regularly using the litter box outside of her crate rather than the small one inside. We are considering taking the small litter box out and putting a bed there instead. One evening, I startled her when entering the room, I forgot to knock and opened the door to hear her scuffling back into the carrier. Hopefully this means she's spending more time out in the open! I also moved her kibble bowl to an area outside of her crate one night and she ate from there too.

SaraJean, thanks for the youtube video! Your Sweetie sounds like she is adjusting very nicely. We have not even reached the point where Limpy will eat out of a bowl with us in the room, so hand-feeding or petting is out of the question. Although I think the problem may be she is just on her own eating schedule (ie not hungry when we are in the room) so we may have to stop free-feeding her if we want to encourage her to eat in front of us.
 

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She is beautiful!  Hang in there.  We took in a little one year old female about two months ago and slowly but surely things are getting better.  Even when she was outside (we call her Sally), I could pet her then, but she was pretty upset for the first few weeks after I brought her in the house.  Now, however, she is doing better and, I might add, you might want to think about introducing beautiful Lamy to the other cats, slowly but surely.  Our other cat (a kitten feral now 14 and the best cat in the world) is actually helping her to feel more comfortable. 

The key is really patience.  No matter what, she is still better off with you.  I would not, by the way, return her to the colony.  Just give her time and lot of love, which you are doing.
 

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When I rescued my boy, Jess, from the humane society at 10 months, it took him months to come out from under the bed in his room when I was around. He had been so mistreated and was so scared and shy that all he could do was hide. I let him go at his own pace, just sat in the room with him and he eventually moved closer and closer to me and ended up being a huge lap cat and lover (with me only). So, give your kitty time and let her move at her own comfort level.

You might consider putting her on a feeding schedule so that she connects you with food and good things. You might also consider using a towel to wipe some of your scent (and even your other cats) and put it under the food bowls.

She will be fine. Please don't give up just yet and put her back out with her colony.
 
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ellevee

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Thank you for the encouragement guys! I agree that she is better off with us so I really do not want to return her back to the colony. Yesterday when I sang to her, she stretched out a bit in her carrier, laid her head down on her arm to sleep, and wasn't disturbed at all when I moved around. I'm going to take this as a sign that she is getting more comfortable and content with her new life :)
 

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I am so glad you are still willing to work with her and keep her inside.  It does take alot of time and patience.  My first feral cat literally took months before I could even see her.  And then months of her just watching,  no interaction at all despite what I tried.

I finally just decided to just love her and accept her the way she wanted to be.  I knew she was no longer outside,  but safe and warm and loved.  I can now tell you she has completely turned around.  She loves to be petted and is very affectionate.  I can pick her up,  she just is very uncomfortable about it,  so I let her go on that issue.

It is so worth it,  you will have such a bond with her.  Just hang in there.  The small breakthroughs are just a reminder that you did the right thing and saved her life!!
 

sweet sally2

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Here's more encouragement.  The little stray we took in, after about a month, will let me pet her with both hands, as long as she is on her perch above me. Ha!  I sing to her too.  I tell her the story of how I first saw her last summer when she would drink from our birdbath by stretching out from the little hill right above it.  I tell her about how it took me time to realize who she was but that once I did, I began working on my dear husband to let me have a second cat (he worries I would be surrounded by them without him).  It took me months to turn him around but here we are.  When she was outside, she would let me pet her, and she had started to follow me up the garage path to the back door where I kept her food.  She is coming back around to that now.

Hang in there.  I love KRZ's attitude, I have a similar one.  No matter what, I know she is safe and warm and will be ok.
 
 

feralvr

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AW.... Limpy gave you a stretch!!! :clap: As other's have said, and I would like to reiterate... Limpy is SO much better off just where she is. It could potentially take a long time for her to come around and start to loosen up and trust. Just hang in there and enjoy the process. It is and will be one of the most rewarding experiences of your life. :heart3: I am certain with love, time and much patience, Limpy will be your BFF, and a loyal one at that :D :clap::clap::clap::clap:
 
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ellevee

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Hi all! It's been awhile since I've posted, but thought I would pop in here for an update.

There has not been much progress unfortunately. Limpy still stays/sleeps in her carrier whenever we are in her room. She is a pretty deep sleeper and will sometimes still be fast asleep even after I enter her room. In the past few weeks, she's been occasionally hissing at us when we bring her wet food in the evenings...I'm not sure why this is. She never hisses in the mornings when I reach into her crate to refill her water and dry food. I thought maybe she got startled by me because it was dark, but even when I spend time talking to her before I put in the wet food, she still hissed. Yesterday, my SO gave her the wet food and he said she hissed at him too. The good news is she's been eating up most of the wet food we leave her- I have found certain brands and flavors that she prefers (Friskies pate in meat flavors and Merrick fish flavors)


Our current schedule with her is like this:

10am: I will go into her room to clean her litter box, re-fill water & dry food, open a window so she has some fresh air.

Late afternoon (~3pm): my SO spends a few hours sitting in her room with his laptop

10pm: my SO or I will give her a can of wet food and sit with her for a few minutes

On the weekends, I will spend a few hours sitting with her too. We also leave her treats around the room, which are gone by the next time we go into the room.

Do we need to spend more time with her? Should we feed her in smaller & more frequent portions? Or perhaps completely stop free-feeding? Any advice would be appreciated!
 

jane rivelli

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Well, I'm encouraged from all the positive feedback - I'm a newbie - just took in three adults I've been feeding for years (my building was sold and relocation was not a good option) been just about three weeks - I guess I have a long way to go - but knowing that I'm not alone in this journey has renewed my confidence that it can be done...will keep posting progress - my three are named Sammy (mom) Joey (son) Charlie (daughter - she's a pistol) Joey is just taking it easy - but momma is getting antsy...going to let them out of crates into safe room in the next day or so - need some positive feral energy out there sent my way...
 
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ellevee

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Well, I'm encouraged from all the positive feedback - I'm a newbie - just took in three adults I've been feeding for years (my building was sold and relocation was not a good option) been just about three weeks - I guess I have a long way to go - but knowing that I'm not alone in this journey has renewed my confidence that it can be done...will keep posting progress - my three are named Sammy (mom) Joey (son) Charlie (daughter - she's a pistol) Joey is just taking it easy - but momma is getting antsy...going to let them out of crates into safe room in the next day or so - need some positive feral energy out there sent my way...
Hi Jane! I read your thread and wish you the best of luck! It does sound like your cats want out of the crate...I think you will see an improvement once they are in a safe room. Mine has never howled or tried to escape out of the crate...but I know when I'm asleep, she makes her way around the room because the toys & pillows I've left for her have been moved around :) Your babies will very much appreciate some more space to run around and explore!
 
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