Introduction & socialization questions

Hi, my name is Resie and I am new here. I signed up because this forum has a strays/ferals subforum and I like having (or giving) some feedback every once in awhile.

I used to be a foster home in The Netherlands for kittens, some of which had never seen humans and had to be socialized from scratch. They all came around within 24 hours up to maximum a week or two and became perfectly sociable pets.

After I immigrated to Canada I started volunteering for a no-kill cat rescue together with my husband. We fostered a number of kittens -one of which we adopted- and then started to more or less accidentally get involved in socializing shy, scared and even semisocial/feral cats and kittens. The term feral is open to many interpretations I think. None of the cats we have dealt with so far were the "would rather scramble up the wall towards the ceiling than even get near you" kind of feral, and all of them have been showing signs of socialization. Our rescue group can't fund TNR, but a vet in town is working on making this happen. We're keeping our fingers crossed! The cats we are taking in don't qualify for TNR because they are either young (and will become social with some help), semisocial (and making progress) or longhairs (who can't live on a farm because their fur would become a painful mess after a very short time).

Two cats/kittens (puberty age) named Nadine and Nikita have been socialized by us in 2011. They have been adopted in January 2012 and are doing very well. We are currently fostering Kesha, Qadirah, Ruby and Reba.

Kesha (avatar picture is her) went from lashing out when somebody wanted to touch her to loving being petted and being a complete lap cat! Her socialization process is done. She came to us in January and will be celebrating her first birthday next month. Since adoptions are currently slow (time of the year thing) we think she will celebrate this event with us. I might actually make her a meat cupcake :-) All Kesha needs now is to find a furrever home.

Qadirah was born in 2008 and brought in when she was 5 months old, so she has been living indoors for about 3 years. We were intrigued by this gorgeous and confused cat eversince we first saw her and have been working with her every week in the main foster home where she lived. Last February we brought her home with us after a socialization breakthrough at the main foster home. She is a gorgeous longhair and has a lovely personality, but we wonder if we can actually fully socialize her. She likes to hang out near people but doesn't want to be touched by them. We bribe her heavily with food and while she eats she is pettable.

Reba was scared and and constantly hiding in a drawer with her sister Ruby in her previous foster home. We took her in, put her in a crate and finger fed her. She is out now, still skittish but doing a lot better. And no longer hiding! She is about 5 months old now.

Ruby, her sister, came in today. She is in a crate and reluctantly licks some food off a finger. A good start!

I was wondering if there are people on this subforum who have experience in socializing semisocial/feral cats? I would like to have some feedback on our approach of especially Qadirah.

Welcome to TCS!

What a wonderful, wonderful thing you're doing! And how thrilling to read that a vet is advocating for TNR and working towards a goal for funding the effort!

I'm not really sure I understand the question about Qadirah. She was in a foster home home for three years? And you would go over there to work with her? What did the foster family do? Did they have other cats? And now you're fostering her - she's in your home? I assume you have other cats - I mean - you have other fosters. Do you have a "foster kitty" room? Or do they have their own spaces? Or are they just out and about? :dk:

And when you say "fully socialize" - I'm not sure what you mean? You want her to be more people friendly? It seems she's not scared of strangers? Can you clarify a little what you mean when you say she likes to be near people, but not touched by them?

Because some cats just aren't lap cats, and don't really like to be petted. :dk: Does she enjoy being petted when being bribed? Is her purr motor going that you're aware?

Do you know - is her issue hands, or is her issue being touched?

Our Chumley was 3 or 4 when rescued, and he was feral. I don't advocate trying to socialize feral kitties that old, but he had serious health issues, and was ready to get off the streets, so to speak. He's lived inside full time with us since May 2010, and he still doesn't like hands very much. When I reach out to him, I only do it when we're on the same level - either when he's up on the cat tree, or when we're in bed, and he jumps up on the bed. And then, when we reach out, we do it with our hand in a fist, not fingers out. This looks like a cat's head (Thank you, JTbo for this tip!), and they are more receptive to it as it is less threatening.

Is she friendly with other cats? Does she headbump them or they her? If so, you may want to try head bumping her with your head. When we rescued our Billy, he wasn't in love with hands either, but he was extremely cat-friendly. So I started "petting" him with my head. He LOVES this! We rub his cheek with our head. So we tried this with Chumley, and his purr motor REALLY got going. He now asks for pets - but they must be done with our head. :lol3: We're still working on hands.

But there are things you can do to promote "hands." :nod: (We're just not that diligent about it). Sitting on the floor near her, you can put your hand down on the floor, and put her favorite treats down between your fingers. Or get a pie plate, and put your hand down, fingers spread out, and put dollops of baby food (meat only) between your fingers. Get her associating hands with good things she loves. :rub:

I don't know your process of socialization, but I just had an article on the subject published: http://catcentric.org/behavior-and-psychology/socializing-a-feral-cat-its-all-about-trust/

Hope we can help!

Thanks for the quick reaction, LDG! I didn't really write much about Qadirah's situation yet because I wanted to figure out if I came to the right place to ask for advice. Seems I have!

Qadirah has been living in the main foster home, which has lots of other cats, and volunteers coming in often. It is a seperate part of the house where nobody lives except for the cats. The main foster home people are doing what they can, but are constantly overworked, so intensive socialization is not something they can do really. Most cats who live there come around nicely though. Some need the care and one-on-one attention of a smaller foster home.

We are 2 of the volunteers at the main foster home who go in about once a week. We would play with Qadirah and the other cats with a laser light. Especially Qadirah was a big fan! Thus distracted, we could pet her. We then started to turn the laser light off every once in awhile while continuing to pet her, and turn it back on when she showed any signs of wanting to run off. We were able to increse these spans that the light was off, until one day she lied down. That was it, we had to take her and see what we could do.

She lives in our home, in the living room. We have 4 foster (her being one of them) and 3 resident cats. She started out in a crate and we have been working with her 5/6 times a day for a few weeks. During these sessions we used canned food, on the chopstick first and later on the finger, and sometimes on a dish while we petted her. We also used several wands. In the beginning she would lash out at a chopstick with canned food on it, but eventually we got to a situation where we could fingerfeed her and "pet" her with a wand with something soft on it, and even with a wand with a brush on it! The wand with a toy on it means great fun to her. We also tried petting her with a glove, and though she would eventually let us do it (after lots of lashing out), she never warmed up to the gloves and seems to prefer our bare hands.

Last week, Qadirah decided she wanted to take a stroll out of her crate during one of our sessions. She would walk out right past us, explore for a brief time and then walk back in, again right passed us. She started doing this every session. The strolls got longer and at some point she didn't want to go into the crate anymore. It was completely her decision. She still goes back in the crate occasionally, like a few days ago when she had a hairball (huge thing, newborn kitten size, lol!). So now Qadirah lives fully with us and our other cats. She seems happy. It doesn't seem like she likes to have the other cats touch her either though! We are keeping a close eye on her to verify this, as we only started to notice this a few days ago.

Qadirah is a nice, intelligent and playful cat and she seems to like us, confusingly enough. She does not hide, will sit close, is interested in what we are doing and she seems to realize that we give her access to play and canned food. She even comes over when we call her! She just doesn't like to be touched, except when distracted by toys or food. The danger of her lashing out is always there, though slowly starting to get less. We slowly make progress by being able to continue to pet her for a brief moment after the "distraction" ends. She seems to tolerate this better and better. She no longer lashes out if she can possibly avoid it. I take this as another sign that she likes us and actually does not want to hurt us.

The fist approach is something I haven't heard of before, thanks for that! We will try that on Qadirah and the R's.

My main question is: How to proceed? Just keep doing what we're doing? Any tips on things we can try with her? We are aware that Qadirah is a long term project and might never become really pettable. But with respect of her uniqueness, her boundaries and her personality, we would like to try, and given her progress we have hopes that she will get comfortable with touch. She has captured our heart regardless.

Interesting tale!  Your main trick seems to be to have them in a crate, and they lick wet food from your fingers?  Yes, I can imagine this should work.  The crate being their safety room., but not really inclosed, as they CAN leave if they want, after the first training period.

Did they were in such crates too at the "main fostering home"  (I myself would call it an entirely normal no kill shelter, but this is another story)...

I mean, was the breaktrough because of your method, OR because it was just the two of you, consistently doing what should be done?...

Much is about feeling safe and not stressed. With semiferal cats and with human pupils at school, perhaps with dyslexias...  (where I had good results!).

Your  way with the crate is such a "giving safety" trick.

More tricks?  Calming, relaxing music is never wrong.   LDG here does advocate this, recommending classical harp music as the best of them all.

Feliway diffuser may be another.

Otherwise, I think you are doing all right.  Remember, she is in a way more difficult than many semiferales taken in from the street.

The semiferales you foster in at most 2 weeks, you say.  At least, the young ones.

But Q was in this "main foster home" almost three years, without them succeeding.  Why, I dont know, but that method wasnt working. So the easy methods dont works on her.

Your methods apparently works better, even just fine.  It is only time which lacks now...

She is essentially socilized now - as LDG says, not all cats are lapcats.   If someone sold her to you with pedigreee papers, you would accept her as a somewhat shy and not lapcat, but friendly, she would be loved home cat.  No?

So proceed. Time is your ally.  Her intemerging with other cats who ARE lapcats and friendly, will also be positive for this process.  Even if she isnt no pal with them as yet (perhaps an echo from this "upleasant" main foster home giving bad memories), so they do learn from each others.

Welcome!

Good luck!    *vibes*

Hi StefanZ!

Thanks for your post, it is very helpful! I'm glad there are people here who can give feedback.

It's 5.35 AM now and I have been awake for 1½ hours. Ruby takes after her sister even more than we thought. At exactly 4 AM she started to cry. With Reba this happened for 3 or 4 nights before she finally relaxed a bit. I could wear earplugs, but if I do that I will almost certainly sleep till noon. I can't sleep in that much because I have to make an earlyish phone call to set up an appointment for somebody who wants to visit Kesha. She might get adopted today! But this is the reason why I'm sitting behind the computer at this unappealing hour.

Keep in mind, when I say that kittens I fostered come around within 2 weeks, I mean kittens younger than 12 weeks, which is the age group I fostered back in The Netherlands.

Ruby and Reba are about 5 months old and take longer than that. Reba has been here for 2 or 3 weeks (lost track there, sorry) and is starting to really come around now. It will take a few more weeks for her to become completely comfortable around us. And Ruby, her sister, just came in yesterday.

Kesha, who was 9 months when we got her, took about 7 weeks and was still becoming more sociable after that period of time. To our amazement she turned into a total lap cat!

The main foster home is not a shelter. They can't legally call themselves that because it might get them into trouble. It's complicated, but this is why I never call them a shelter. They are, however, a cat rescue. They do very well with most foster cats that live there. But some cats need one in one attention, and there isn't always a foster home available which can give that to them.

Having too little time is probably why they didn't succeed with Qadirah, or maybe it was just bad luck. There are a number of foster homes, but kitten season is always busy and there is always a waiting list for cats and kittens to be brought into foster homes. Qadirah never struck me as unhappy; she seemed content, even happy, in her main foster home. We took her out of her comfort zone and we are aware this is a big responsibility. But she seems even happier with us than she was at the main foster home. Perhaps it's the fact that we have more toys and play time, and we give her canned food, which she is completely hooked on. Perhaps she likes to have less cats to deal with.

Qadirah was not in a crate in the main foster home. Perhaps she was when they first brought her in in 2008, don't know about that. There is a limited amount of crates available and cats who just came in, and cats with problems like eye infections, colds or injuries are confined there so they can acclimatize/recover without infecting anyone or getting hurt. If there are any crates left over, they use them for socializing fearful new cats, but since only limited time is available to work with those specific cases, they don't do that as a rule.

Qadirah does seem to think of the crate as her safe place, which is why it is still there, with the door open. At first she went back in after taking her strolls, until one time she stayed out. Once she stayed out, her favourite spot was under the side table that was right next to her crate. It seems she has switched favourite spots as of yesterday; she now prefers lying on our door mat, on the opposite side of the room, completely "uncovered" and with a better view of us!

To be honest, I don't think pedigree papers would make a difference in Qadirah's case. Not to me anyways, pedigree cats don't do it for me generally :-) When we met her, she lashed out at anyone who came too close to her. You would see the confusion grow in her eyes and then she would lash out, leaving your hand bleeding. This is not what I would call an adoptable cat, pedigree or not.

She rarely lashes out with claws nowadays. She sometimes bats without claws. A new thing she regularly does, is she partially lifts her paw, then changes her mind! I always reward her when she chooses to put the paw back down.

Whatever happens to her, she will always have a place to go to. We are probably going to be a long term foster home for her and we might even end up adopting her. And even if we don't/can't, there is always the main fostering home. But I do hope she'll stay with us, because we care a great deal about her. Time will tell!

Harp music... are you serious? Will try that! In the main foster home, the TV is alway on, so the cats can get used to the sounds of humans if they weren't already. But harp music for socialization purposes is new to me. I wonder if harpsichord does the same? I think I have a CD of the Goldberg Variations lying around somewhere. They were composed by Bach for the purpose of helping an insomniac nobleman sleep! They do indeed strike me as somewhat boring (unlike Bach's other work) and sleep-inducing!

Oh and by the way: I changed my avatar to display Qadirah's picture, so that you guys can admire her beauty! 

Resie said:

To be honest, I don't think pedigree papers would make a difference in Qadirah's case. Not to me anyways, pedigree cats don't do it for me generally :-) When we met her, she lashed out at anyone who came too close to her. You would see the confusion grow in her eyes and then she would lash out, leaving your hand bleeding. This is not what I would call an adoptable cat, pedigree or not.

She rarely lashes out with claws nowadays. She sometimes bats without claws. A new thing she regularly does, is she partially lifts her paw, then changes her mind! I always reward her when she chooses to put the paw back down.
 I think I have a CD of the Goldberg Variations lying around somewhere. They were composed by Bach for the purpose of helping an insomniac nobleman sleep! They do indeed strike me as somewhat boring (unlike Bach's other work) and sleep-inducing!

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Swapping with soft paw is quite normal for cats. It is their way to teach lesson in the family. Their kittens, their cat pal, or a friendly tom courting too close.  Or a friendly human nearing too early.  So this is a major step forward!

This with just half-lifting paws MAY be something else too- they can strech out their paws as greeting to friendly humans...   It is like a mini-variant of streching backwards or forward, as they do when they greet each other.  This streching out just the forepaw is typically if they are lying down, resting.

Btw, yawning at every opportunity is not they are lazy or sleepy, but it is greeting, this too!.    You can try with this you too.  

Bach is often mentioned as alternative to harp music. I imagine these Goldberg variation is a good tip. Tx!   I will write it up in the  sticky thread.

Harpsichord will probably help, but yes, there really is nothing better than harp music! I think it was Mr. Jinx (TCS username on this forum) 's mom that tried it, and everyone wanted to take a nap! Very, very calming! Google Harp of Hope. :nod:

And thanks for the more detailed explanation! Now that she's at home with you, I have to agree with Stefan. I don't know there is much specifically to do at this point, other than just spend time being near her. Down on the floor is best. I assume she doesn't go into your bedroom? Someone may want to consider grabbing a sleeping bag and spending a night here and there near wherever she sleeps. That way she can really check you out without fear.

But at this point... it's really just a matter of time. :dk: Turn off your clock, and let her watch and learn - especially, as Stefan says - from watching you interact with the other kitties. This will go a LONG way to helping her!

Chumley, when we rescued him, was VERY bitey. We trained him out of this by any time he went to bite a hand, we said "no" firmly, and got up and left him sitting there. Ignored him completely. He never broke skin, but his bites got QUICKLY to the point that he'd just open his mouth, but not move his head. :lol3: When we got to that point, we'd tell him, as you are, WHAT a good boy he is! Now when he doesn't want something, all he does is pull his head back. :heart2: :rub:

Oh - and I think Stefan's point about the pedigree papers was simply that at this point, if someone adopted her, they'd just think she was a shy kitty.

But yes - yawning, stretching, "looking" at her with closed eyes - doing stuff down on the floor while she's around... all of these things will increase her comfort level and trust. :nod: Calm music will help her feel more secure/less stressed. Keep working on the batting with her paw... and just let her get used to the rhythm of your home. :rub:

Hi all,

Since it is late now and I'm very tired after last night, I will reply to you in more detail tomorrow. Thank you so much for replying though!

Just a quick post now to show you a video of Qadirah's latest session with us. We have been having sessions with her ever since we took her in last month and we've come a long way, all the way from her attacking a chopstick we were using to feed her to this. We do have earlier video's we recorded. If anyone finds them interesting/helpful I will upload some more.



Enjoy!

Resie said:

 a video of Qadirah's latest session with us. We have been having sessions with her ever since we took her in last month and we've come a long way, all the way from her attacking a chopstick we were using to feed her to this.

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Awesome! such a long cuddling session...  She isnt no semiferal any more.  

One thing strikes me though on the video.  Your  DH is cuddling with long strokes, beginning from shoulders to the base of the tail.  You do apparently believe in long strokes.

The point is, they are very sensitive at the back of the tail.  Stroking them there isnt necessary unpleasant for them, perhaps even extra good, but do evokes strong feelings and emotions. 

I dont know if you know it and do it on purpose.  If yes, please comment more about this trick.

I noticed she reacted some a several times - surely because of that.

If you want to make more neutral strokes - make them shorter, from shoulder halfways back,, but NOT all the way to the base of the tail.    OR, begin them at the neck. Perhaps even begin at the head if she doesnt react much.

So the cuddling will be more calm for her.

Good luck!

Resie said:

Hi all,

Since it is late now and I'm very tired after last night, I will reply to you in more detail tomorrow. Thank you so much for replying though!

Just a quick post now to show you a video of Qadirah's latest session with us. We have been having sessions with her ever since we took her in last month and we've come a long way, all the way from her attacking a chopstick we were using to feed her to this. We do have earlier video's we recorded. If anyone finds them interesting/helpful I will upload some more.


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Enjoy!

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Hi! I've embedded your video as we don't allow direct links to YouTube.

Here are instructions on how to embed:

http://www.thecatsite.com/t/239275/please-embed-youtube-videos#post_3151064

Thank you for all your responses! Abbysmom, thanks for embedding my video rather than just taking it out, I wasn't aware of the fact that I broke a rule. Will keep that in mind for future video's!

My hubby Rob strokes all the way to the tail on purpose. He knows he's going slightly out of her comfort zone, but he feels this might be the way to expand said comfort zone. But perhaps it's better to stay in the comfort zone for now and get her really relaxed? Her comfort zone seems to be from the shoulder blades to the lower back. Myself, I generally stay away from the base of her tail for now. Also, her head seems to be a sensitive area too (not as sensitive as tail base though), but after careful buildup I can pet her from the back of her head to her lower back without much of a reaction.

I will tell you a bit more about our journey with Qadirah now.

Qadirah was probably born around June 2009 (I just found out yesterday it was 2009 rather than 2008) and came to the main foster home of the cat rescue in November 2009. She was a vicious mess and did not fully come around socially. In the few years that followed she became a cat who stopped hiding and started sitting near humans at a safe distance. She even sniffed a hand every once in awhile. She seemed to find humans quite interesting and followed them around at a safe distance. She had her preferences on whom she followed.

Rob and I started volunteering in July 2011 and were immediately fascinated by this big fluffy grey beauty with her large, expressive, confused eyes. When she sniffed Rob, he thought -not knowing of her socialization problems- that she would be pettable. As a result Rob received a bloody scratch on the hand.

Nonetheless we were both smitten with her and discovered more and more of her story. We started coming to the main foster home every week and working with the cats there. Qadirah followed us around from a safe distance whenever we were there and we found out that she was quite playful. The laser light was her absolute favourite, which she had to share with a whole soccer team of cats who ran behind the laser light like nutcases as soon as we turned it on. We started touching Qadirah while she was preoccupied with the laser light. At first only short casual touches on the back were tolerated before she ran off, but after a while we found ourselves petting her for short amounts of time. We started turning off the laser light for short amounts of time while we were petting her, then turning it back on when it looked like she was thinking of running off. When one day I turned off the laser light and she lied down while Rob was stroking her back, we decided we had to try and work with her in our own home. That was February 17 of this year.

So Qadirah came to live with us on February 17. Following our coordinator's instructions, we put her in the bathroom. Qadirah was really angry and that anger did not diminish after a day. She was also frightened but that was to be expected. I called the coordinator and found out that the bathroom in the main foster home was the place where she got medicated if needed. I was already thinking about getting a crate, because I believe a cat socializes best by being able to observe human behaviour 24/7, which is not what happens if the cat is in a seperate room. But now we made up our minds and borrowed one from the main foster home. It was quite a chore to move her into it but she settled in without a problem when it was done and her anger disappeared. A day later we found a 2 door crate (better than the borrowed one) on sale, bought it and moved her into it. Again she had no trouble settling in and even started to relax. The crate became her safe haven for the 4 weeks that followed.

On February 19, 2 days after she moved in, we started working with her. We found a detailed handbook on a cat rescue website about taming very shy and fearful cats. They did not use the word feral, but some of the cats they used their techniques on sounded pretty feral to me. I never, by the way, assumed Qadirah was fully feral. We started following the handbook, but strayed from it whenever Qadirah led us elsewhere. We had about 6 sessions a day with her in the beginning.

During our first sessions we tried to feed her some canned food from the end of a chopstick, because there was no way we were sticking our hand in there yet! After a lot of hissing and even swatting the chopstick a few times and us reapplying the food and trying again, she started to carefully lick the end of the chopstick. If we made any move she would shy away or swat again. Slowly she got more comfortable with the chopstick, after which we started to do more things. Some were in the handbook, some weren't. We introduced them one by one and as gradually as possible.

- Holding the chopstick closer and closer to the end, until there was no chopstick left and Qadirah was basically licking our hands.

- Leaving the chopstick out altogether and just allowing her to lick the food off our fingers

- Introducing a stick with a soft thing at the end, the so called "petting wand". Having her lick food off the finger while the petting wand was in the crate, allowing her to sniff the petting wand, then touching her with it, rewarding each step with some food off the chopstick (not from finger in case she got uncomfortable enough to revert to swatting it). She attacked it several times in the beginning, but she slowly got used to it.

- Introducing a stick with a brush at the end, the so called "grooming wand". The buildup is similar to that of the petting wand.

- Introducing gloves for more direct petting. No matter what we did (we applied food on it often and encouraged her to lick it off, which she did), she did never really warm up to the glove. She attacked it regularly (it was a good glove, skin was never broken) and very reluctantly resigned to us using it for petting her while withdrawing into herself as much as possible.

- Having her lick food off a dish while we petted her. This one was not in the handbook but spontaneously happened. Qadirah often dropped some food off the finger while she was trying to eat it, and at some point she started to dive under our hands to pick up the dropped food, not caring very much that that meant we were essentially touching her head. This was a pretty bold move on her part and we wanted to explore and encourage that. Hence the dish. You saw in the video that she is now pretty pettable while she licks food off the dish. It is actually a lid, not a dish, but she seems to prefer it over an actual dish.

After about 2½ weeks Reba came to live in a crate that was placed on top of Qadirah's. Reba is about 5 months old and was very frightened. After 1½ weeks in the crate and us working with her, Reba was much more sociable and was ready to leave her crate. Reba took her first walk in our living room and returned to her crate after about 5 minutes. Qadirah observed this whole event, and when Rob started her session she was looking past him. A longing look. She stepped out of the crate, casually walked past Rob and explored the living room. We did not stop her, nor did we make any other move. Rob just stayed where he was, in front of that crate. It was heartwarming to see her walk around and sniff things. She was pretty relaxed. After a few minutes she casually walked past Rob again, back into the crate, ready to continue her session. This happened during every session for the next day, until she decided to stay out of the crate. The crate is still available, with the door open 24/7, and she goes in there when she needs some extra security. She went in there to have a hairball, and yesterday during the day she wasn't feeling so well and spent most of her day in there. Other than that she is fully out.

We cut the wands and the glove from Qadirah's sessions. We don't need wands or gloves while she is occupied, and we think food and play is the true way to her heart.

Qadirah wants her sessions. She initiates them. Of course a session means we are going to touch her, but it also means she gets access to very yummy food. She looks like she is at least somewhat enjoying her sessions. We currently do 1 or 2 food sessions a day, rather than 6 sessions like we used to, but all through the day there are moments of interaction with her. We talk to her, have her sniff the hand, play with her and the other cats... She also enjoys lying in the sun and she seems to trust us enough to nap close to us. Her idea of a "safe distance" to humans is changing, the distance is becoming smaller. We admire Qadirah's courage and her trust in us. She is such a nice cat!

Update: You won't believe what Qadirah did today, so I'm going to show you.  While Rob was working with Ruby and Reba, Qadirah made an unexpected move...

Long, long overdue update. Apologies for the mega-bump of over 4 years! I hope someone is still around to read it, but I'd feel bad to come back to this site with new questions without wrapping up this thread. And it's been an amazing journey so far!

We kept working with Qadirah on a more casual basis. What helped Qadirah greatly, was the fact that she bonded with my elderly cat Zefke. She would follow him around and even rubbed up against him (Qadirah never rubbed up against anything or anyone until after we started fostering her). The fact that Zefke was so friendly and really enjoyed petting and head bumping helped a lot, and he became her "socialization ambassador". This kept slowly but gradually improving her contact with humans. She started meowing, which at first was a shockingly unpleasant sound, comparable to what one would imagine a dying moose sounds like, lol. Eventually she turned out to have a sweet, high voice.

In Fall 2013, Zefke died. Qadirah became depressed and we tried to let her mourn and talked to her a lot. But she started over-grooming and even groomed her skin off. It was heartbreaking. After she had basically become a really plucky shorthaired cat, the vet decided she needed cortisone injections. It was a hassle to get her to take those, but they fixed her skin, and in the longer term, her fur. Her mood improved too and when we were fairly certain that she actually wanted to become part of our family (including baby girl), we adopted her.

Qadirah is happy and healthy and still surprises us. Nowadays, she jumps up on the couch to be petted by (mainly) my husband in the evening. She likes hanging out with some of the kittens we occasionally foster. She still looooves fancy feast, lol! She is a wonderful addition to our family!

Wonderful update!  Qadirah sounds like she has decided to enjoy the life you've created for her.

Thank you for the update and for all you are doing!