So Disappointed In This City

I'm sure as all of you know, today was St Patrick's Day which means tons of drinking and lots of drunk people roaming the streets as they go to the bar or come home from it. 

It was also mine and my boyfriend's second anniversary, as well as our friend's birthday. We went over to his place to celebrate and took the bus. We made sure to take a bus that would be less busy both ways because we just can't stand the drunk students. 

We had to come home around 11:00 because it was the last bus that came close to my place. We got here about 11:25, Mike left to go to another one of our friend's homes while I stayed at home because I have to work in the morning and I didn't get a lot of sleep last night. I always watch him from walking towards the main downtown street (700m from my place) because there are always a lot of people walking and sometimes they can cause trouble. They leave you alone if you ignore them, but if you say anything back they'll start to pick a fight. Mike is the type of person that cannot keep his mouth shut if someone starts yelling stuff at him. Of course, tonight as I'm watching him go, a group of three younger kids (probably 19-22) start yelling obscene things at him and he yells back, basically telling them to keep their mouths shut. They start to turn around to approach him, they were about a block away at that point, so I yelled out and told them that I was calling the cops and to just go home. Well then they start yelling at me, not even knowing where I am because they can't see me (all the lights were off in the apartment and my balcony is up high), calling me a rat and a snitch. I wish I could blame in on just being St Patrick's Day and having an over abundance of drunk idiots running around downtown, but I can't. There is a reason that I watch from the balcony until he gets to the main street. 

Last week a friend's coworker was sucker punched at a bar that he is a regular at for no reason, his jaw was broken and had to be wired shut. There are stories like this almost every day on the weekend. Two years ago one of my best friends was attacked when someone called his girlfriend something and he asked them to leave just leave them alone. He ended up in the hospital for over a week, lost the sight in one of his eyes, and eventually the eye. We drifted apart about a year later because he never recovered emotionally from it, refused to seek professional help and was depending too much on me, honestly, he was starting to scare me a bit, always talking about getting revenge and things like that. 

I love living in the area that I live in, I've lived in the same general area for the last 5 years, it's just getting worse and no one is doing anything about it. The mayor is a joke (seriously, google Joe Fontana and look at some of the ridiculous things he's done and is continuing to do), he cut a lot of programs and funding in the city so that he could keep a campaign promise of a tax freeze - the things he cut would have cost each resident less than $7 a year and were important things like disability accessibility but he kept the funding for the city wading pools and splash parks. I'm sick of all of the violence and people just turning a blind eye to it, citizens but also the people that should be paying attention to it. It seems like they just chalk it up to this being a university/college city but that's no excuse. Is it bad that I feel more comfortable walking around at night in downtown Toronto than I do in the city where I live? I won't even go out if I know I will be walking home alone. If I'm downtown after 10:30 I'll even take a cab home from the main street and it's 700m! I told a cab driver one night why I was taking a cab such a short distance and he said that they get a lot of fares like that and they actually make most of their money with them because they only take a few minutes and the person usually tips half the fare. 

Sorry about the little rant but I'm just getting to sick of it and so disappointed that it's gotten to this point. I've lived here now for over 7 years and have been coming here on my own for over 10, with my parents for over 20. It never used to be this bad. 

Anytime you have large celebrations and alcohol, it spells trouble, but adding to the fact of the already seemingly corrupted city, sounds like you had a bad weekend. Sorry to hear youre having a rough time. How about a petition?

Sad thing is it's probably just going to get worse. Many people are losing jobs and more are in deep debt and that can lead to increased desperation, crime, and unsupervised kids. Money is needed for more police but instead there are budget cuts. 

Do you know that Central Park in NYC is now a pretty safe place, even at night? I remember it always having a dangerous reputation but more police were added in a conscious effort to make it safe and evidently it worked. From what I've read, people walk, jog, and meet up there 24/7.

You need more police in your area, maybe it's time to think of moving if that's possible.

Much of the improvement in New York came from Rudy Giuliani's "broken window and graffiti" policies.  He said if you take care of the little stuff promptly, it gives the whole environment a different attitude toward crime.  Some people hated it at the time, but it was very successful.

However, I can say this.  You want to live to a ripe old age?  Stay out of bars.  That one step will increase your life span, on average, 5-10 years.

Did you hear about the riot in London last night? http://www.lfpress.com/news/london/2012/03/17/19517281.html#.T2XDkw5CQjQ.facebook

I definitely don't feel safe in London at night. Last time I went there (November), we went to my husbands aunts apartment for dinner. While we were all sitting around talking, someone shot at her patio door with a BB gun. It took 2 chunks out of the glass. Thankfully, the police found out that night who did it and last I heard they were getting evicted.

So sad to see what the world has come to.     Don't know what the answer is, but it just goes to show that you have to be so careful.

We're both retired and live in kind of a rural area - (closest supemarket is around 13 miles away).  We've never had any real problems here, but at this point in our lives we try not to even go out at night after dark.   Don't really like driving at night and our area doesn't have street lights.  

Years ago when we lived in New York, when I was much younger (late teens, early 20's) I never hesitated going out, riding the subways home at night.  Now I can't imagine doing such a thing no matter where you live.

I just heard about the riots here this morning. Mike stayed at our friend's place last night and came back around the time I was leaving for work. He said it made him really angry to see all the aftermath of the night, garbage everywhere, broken things, bottles and cans all over the place... it's sad. 

I would move in a heartbeat if I got another job, but at this point I don't have the money saved up to make the move. Most of my friends are also here and my family is only 45 minutes away in Woodstock. 

I feel comfortable walking around the city at night if I have a friend with me, or if Mike is with me, but not alone. I won't go out after about 10 pm unless I'm walking to and from my car. 

nerdrock said:

I would move in a heartbeat if I got another job, but at this point I don't have the money saved up to make the move. Most of my friends are also here and my family is only 45 minutes away in Woodstock. 

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I really like Woodstock. I was just there about an hour and a half ago. 

There seems to be quite a few jobs around here. I live in Cambridge and I really like it because it's so quiet and it's right near Kitchener and Waterloo so there are lots of job opportunities close by. 

That's just sad. I was in London for a week about 9 years ago and found it to be a beautiful friendly but COLD city (this was in Feb so I shouldn't be surprised!). But honestly, people were so nice and we (me and the guy I was visiting) walked every night to Tim Horton's which was a few blocks away. Of course, I have NO idea what part of the city he lived in. All I can tell you is there were 3 tall apartment buildings, a Tim Horton's and Burger King within walking distance and it was a 5 minute cab ride from the airport. But I loved downtown and we did go to a bar there called The Honest Lawyer, I think? Love that name! 

Speaking of stupid drunk people, a town nearby had the annual "Hooley Pub Crawl" Saturday night. One friend of my husband lives on the second floor apartment around the corner from a popular bar. She posted on facebook that she was sick and tired of guys coming out of the bar and using her car tires as a bathroom. So she started filling bowls and buckets with water. When she saw someone start to pee on her tires, she dumped water on his head!   She had to sweep around her car this morning before she could leave the house because of all the broken beer bottles, but it was worth it!

That's sad. I hate when a good place becomes dangerous. I spent the entire day in NYC. My husband got to be one of the 343 flag carriers in the parade, so I went in by myself (train) at 10am, the train was packed to bursting, the ride was delayed, it took 2.5 hours to get there, and there was not one problem. Penn Station was a sardine can, as was the subway and the parade. I met some women about my age, so we walked through the park to the parade, and while there were the usual OWS groups and others-there were no problems.

After the parade, we went to see my most favorite band in the world play at a local bar, the place was literally 4 floors of sardine like atmosphere, everyone was pretty well "in the cups" as we say, and again-not a problem. My husband is like yours, and will not and cannot keep his mouth shut. Thankfully, there was no reason for him to open it, and the only people we met, shook his hand and thanked him for his service to our city. It was really a beautiful night. Years ago, my girlfriends and I went in to the parade every year, and there was brawling all over the place-not any more. It was surprising that you can get that crowded an atmosphere, and I know many people (myself included) that get annoyed and upset when there are that many people touching them (one of the reasons I moved so far away from the crowds) It was just not a problem for anyone. 

Rudy Guiliani, while I really cannot stand the man for what he did to the FD for the benefit of the PD, and the many idiotic things he did "because he was at the WTC on 9-11" really took a no nonsense attitude and cleaned up the city. Bloomberg (I HATE him, literally) also did some good things for the safety and peace of the city. You still see problems, like the ongoing sitch at Zucotti, but honestly, going into Manhattan is a pleasant and safe experience for me these days. 

Your mayor, and more importantly, your Police need to do their jobs. Our police take no garbage from anyone anymore, and that's a big difference. People also are not afraid to step up and do something when they see a problem. The police are everywhere, and all you need to do is find a cop and they will assist you immediately. The mayor needs to take a firm hand-many times police don't do much, unless they have to-they need to step up and in BEFORE situations become dire. Start a community movement to clean up the city. St Paddy's is supposed to be fun, and not dangerous. If people step up together, and make the Mayor listen and DO something, you may find your city becoming what you wanted to be a part of when you moved there.

SwampWitch said:

Sad thing is it's probably just going to get worse. Many people are losing jobs and more are in deep debt and that can lead to increased desperation, crime, and unsupervised kids. Money is needed for more police but instead there are budget cuts. 

Do you know that Central Park in NYC is now a pretty safe place, even at night? I remember it always having a dangerous reputation but more police were added in a conscious effort to make it safe and evidently it worked. From what I've read, people walk, jog, and meet up there 24/7.

You need more police in your area, maybe it's time to think of moving if that's possible.

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Central Park is fantastic now. I remember when you could guarantee being mugged by entering the park at night. Now it's safe-so many people are in there at night, and people have stopped ignoring things. That's also the key. If you know that people will run to help someone, you're less likely to try to commit a crime and chance it. Manhattan in general is pretty safe these days, the crime is moving outward into Queens. Even the Bronx has improved significantly. When I was in the park on Saturday, it warmed my heart to see a group of people dancing around and singing on the "Imagine" walkway,  honoring John Lennon. It was just so nice. 

It takes me about 20 minutes to drive to the airport and I'm downtown, so you were probably on the east end actually near the college and where I used to live. Do you know if it was Mornington Ave/St that he lived on? If so, that was just behind where I used to live. There's a little plaza that has a grocery store, a run down mall and a Burger King and another plaza the other way that has a Tim Horton's, a little strip mall with a bar, Goodwill, sports store and something else in it. When I lived in that area, it wasn't all that friendly, but of course I was a student at the time so it could have been that. 

I used to live in Old South/Wortley area, that's one of the nicer old areas. Everyone smiles and says hello when you walk by them, it's a very friendly area, but you don't want to be walking around at night still... at least in the part I lived in. Wortley in itself is pretty safe at night. 

I live downtown now, about 2-3 short blocks east of the main downtown road (Richmond St). A lot of people will smile when you walk by them and some will say hello, it's still pretty friendly. I moved here to be closer to downtown and the market. Luckily, I'm far enough that I don't get a lot of drunk people stumbling home and waking me up yelling things in the middle of the night. Apparently, in the summer I'll be able to hear the events that go on in the park but that's ok. They have a bylaw that they have to basically be done by 11pm. 

As for the riot, it seems like the students are really stepping up. Of course they were ones that weren't involved at all but they're organizing events to raise some of the money to help pay for the damages (apparently over $100 000) and helping to clean up. I was watching the news yesterday and quite a few students went over to Flemming Drive to help the residents clean up. A few people have suggested that the city buy all of the houses on the street, bulldoze them and make it into a nice big park. 

There has been talk of the movie Project X inspiring the students to take their parties to that level. Mike and I saw the movie, it was horrible in general. We're both very glad that we had free passes to it, lol. Regardless, I'm very saddened that people can be that influenced by a movie that they would go that far and damage other people's property and homes. 

Apparently, a lot of the people that were at the riot/party were people from out of town visiting friends. There were also local high school students and some students from both the college and university. There is some talk to expelling the students that were involved. I guess we'll see what happens. 

nerdrock said:

It takes me about 20 minutes to drive to the airport and I'm downtown, so you were probably on the east end actually near the college and where I used to live. Do you know if it was Mornington Ave/St that he lived on? If so, that was just behind where I used to live. There's a little plaza that has a grocery store, a run down mall and a Burger King and another plaza the other way that has a Tim Horton's, a little strip mall with a bar, Goodwill, sports store and something else in it. When I lived in that area, it wasn't all that friendly, but of course I was a student at the time so it could have been that. 

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Mornington Ave sounds VERY familiar! There was a grocery store and a small mall there with the Burger King and Tim Horton's was the other way. Sounds like you pegged it! 

I can understand your frustration! It's no good when you constantly have to look over your shoulders and hope you'll make it home safely. If it makes you feel better, Memphis (my hometown) constantly gets rated on the "Worst Places to Live" and "Most Miserable City" lists.... I was born and raised here; I just take the good with the bad and make the best of it. There are a lot of positives to my hometown too, so I try to focus on those instead of all the negatives. That being said, there are certain parts of the city that I will not even consider driving through alone or at certain hours because I do not have a death wish! :disa: Could you and your boyfriend start keeping pepper spray on yourselves when you go out? A self defense class might not be a bad thing either. Since you live in an apartment, I'm not sure what all you can do to make it extra secure, could your landlord request an extra police or security patrol in your area during hours that you might be walking to/from work? That might be something worth asking about. In my place, I try to keep hedges trimmed back, automatic flood lights installed, and do a few other things to stay safe.

My apartment building is pretty safe. It has secure entry and the tenants don't let random people buzz in. The building manager also patrols the parking lot at night, we have above and underground parking. Pepper spray is illegal to carry here, but dog or bear spray is fine so Mike said he's going to get me a can of dog spray that I can clip to my key chain. It'll be less obvious than bear spray because I have two small dogs and one of them was attacked by a bigger dog a few years ago so I have a reason to carry it. I'm also only about 2 blocks from the main police station and I'm pretty sure there's a fire house around here too. I'm also up on the sixth floor, so I feel safe 99% of the time when I'm at home. 

There are things I like about the city, but they seem to be few and far between now. I love two of our three dog parks, I can only take Fynn there (Sadie has epilepsy and 9 times out of 10 she'll have a seizure if she's at a dog park). We have a lot of nice parks and areas were I like to walk the dogs. We have some great vintage shops, a great used book store called City Lights (huge wooden bookcases arranged like a maze to maximize space, it's really neat, almost like you're in a forest of books), some great record stores and a few farmers markets. We're basically right in between Windsor/Detroit/Sarnia/Port Huron and Toronto/Niagara/Fort Erie/Buffalo so if I want to go to the states shopping, it's only a few hours and my parents only live about 45 minutes away. Lots of bands come to play here, and the ones that don't we can just drive to Hamilton/Toronto to see them. We have a couple of really nice little pubs that I like to go to. I love the folk festival we have here in July (Home County) and every weekend in the summer there's a different event happening at the park. In the fall, they have the Pooch Plunge to benefit a local rescue group. They drain out one of the community pools and fill it with water before they close for the season, people bring their dogs and let them swim around and play. We're about an hour away from some really nice beaches and campgrounds. The entire city is filled with gorgeous walking/biking trails. It's also a fairly dog friendly city, which makes a difference to me. I also love that at our dog parks your dog doesn't have to be neutered, females in heat are the only dogs not allowed to go.