How to get over running over a cat?? Help :(

Hello people of the catsite forums! I need your help!

I am new and came in search of advice from other cat lovers that may be able to understand my feelings more than usual people. I'll write a short version for people not wanting to read a long post, and a long version with the details.

A quick background of me and my cat(s)..we had a cat that lived until she was 23 and had to be put down when i was 14 or 15, so I grew up with her all my life. We got another cat a year or two before she died, and this one is my baby she is half ferrel so skatty as anything and hates being picked up or fussed with at all. But we bonded straight away and are inseparable, she sleeps on my bed every night and stays with me all day if Im at home. She is now 15 and still as healthy as a 5 year old! I love her more than I love most people I know...Im sure all of you feel the same about your cats or you wouldnt be here! (yep that's her as my avatar pic!)

Im 23 now, and have been lucky enough to not have hit any animal while driving...i even swerve for mice! I dread hitting anything, and have many times played over in my mind what i would do it i hit a cat...and then it happened.

The short story is: I was a passenger in my boyfriends car when a cat ran underneath it, we caught it, took it to a vet and found the owner but I'm having difficulty getting past the incident.

The long story is: Luckily we were driving down a residential road at in the early evening, with cars parked both sides all the way down (its in a city). Thankfully, my boyfriend being who is he was doing 15 - 20 mph tops. Suddenly there was a thud and bump and my initial thought was we ran over a hub cap... and as my boyfriend asked "what was that?" I looked in the side mirror and saw a cat scrambling on the road. It must been already nder a parked car and had run out as we were passing, under the middle stretch of our car and got hit by the back wheels- if it had run out in front we would have seen it and would have been able to stop.

Anyway...I saw this poor cat in the mirror, wildly flailing around on the road and suddenly all my worst nightmares had just happened. I screamed "it's a cat, oh my god its a cat!" and started jumping out of the car while it was moving before he had even had a chance to process what i had said. I ran up the road and saw a guy walking on the path coming the opposite way and asked him if he had seen a cat. He replied "yeah, i think you just skimmed it, it ran off under a car"...in a completely casual tone and just carried on walking!!

I started frantically looking under every car with a torch light from my phone, by which time my boyfriend had parked the car and caught up with me. I found it hiding under a van, hissing and growling but out of reach for me as i'm fairly small. We knocked on the house we were outside of and asked if they had a cat, which they didn't. They got a blanket and a plastic storage box for us to use to get the cat into. My boyfriend had done an animal care course at college years ago and so knew what to do. He tried to get the cat from under the van, but it ran out and under another vehicle. It was at this point we could see it was injured as it was barely using its back legs- not paralysed or dragging them, but kind unable to put weight on them and wobbling around trying to get away. I lost myself again for a minute after this and had to calm down.

When he tried to get it again it ran away and into someones bush in front of their house. This time it was cornered and he managed to grab it, and the second he had it in his arms it relaxed and wasnt so scared. We lined the box with his puffer jacket and popped the cat inside on the back seat of his car, and i got in next to it to stop it trying to move. He called 118 and managed to get put through to a 24hr vet and we drove it there. The whole way the poor little cat was staring at me, completely shocked and worried. I did my best to comfort him and keep him still. We waited at the vet until the actual vet got there and went in with the cat. He said he thought it had a fractured hip and possibly a broken jaw (but the jaw might have been an old injury). When we got back to the car and closed the doors, my boyfriend burst into tears. 

We then went straight home and made 200 flyers about the cat (obvs not saying it was hurt, just that it was found) and started posting them through the doors on the street. Managed to get a tip off from one person about which house it might belong to and luckily it was them! The owner was away but the friend was house sitting. We later called the vet to check on the cat and let them know we had found the owner, and they said the cat was on lots of painkillers but okay and the owners friend had contacted them. We called the next day to ask if the cat was okay but they were allowed to tell us anything now that the owner was found, so we dont know what happened although I'm 99% sure the cat would have made a full recovery.

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Jesus that was so hard to write! So....this was over a month ago but I cant stop thinking about the cat and feeling so awful about it. I cant stop playing the sound of hitting it and then seeing it flailing on the road and it makes me feel sick and i start welling up. Whenever I have a moment to myself its the first thought that floods into my mind, and when im trying to get to sleep its all i can think about. I feel unable to talk to my boyfriend about it as he obviously found it very distressing as he was the one driving, but I need to get it off my chest. 

As fellow cat lovers im sure you can understand my distress and i wondered if you have any words of advice or experiences you think might help me. I know there are far more horrible things happening to people all over the world, and to most people this would seem ridiculous...but to me its a life changing event that I'm struggling to cope with. 

Thank you, Ash x

I think it's absolutely fantastic that you and your boyfriend did everything you possibly could to help the poor cat and then locate the owner.  (  I'm assuming the owner told the vet to continue caring for the cat rather than putting it down.)   This is just my opinion, but I think you should go back to the cat's home and let the owner know you were a passenger in the car that accidently ran over his/her cat.  Let the owner know how horrible you both feel about what happened and ask how the cat is doing now.

First off, welcome to the site!

Secondly,  I think its amazing you did everything you could for the cat, and luckilly it seems like the cat wasn't  killed.

I had a very similiar experience one time. I lived down a gravel road at the time and my aunt had this beautiful little japanese chin (dog), anyhow I was driving to work one day, it ran under my car and I swerved but still hit it. He died about 30 minutes later...

It was horrible, but I sent a card to my aunt, apologizing-

Accidents happen, that is why they are called Accidents, there is no need to beat yourself up over it, it's not as if you deliberately chased it and ran it over.

So just hang in there, Pray if you've got em, and it will pass.

I actually obsessively worry about hitting/killing a person with my car. It makes driving very unpleasant especially on local streets.

All we can do in this world is know that we do our best. You do your very best to drive safely. No human was actually at fault for this accident. 

You went above and beyond what many people would have done in your situation which is just drive off. 

If more people were like you, the world would be a better place.

Bless you.

Thank you , all of you, for your lovely words. It was such a relief even just typing it out knowing that other cat people would be able to empathise. I had thought about going to the house and finding out, but as we left our contact details with them and they never got in touch, it seems to me they don't want contact with us. At the time, we didn't think to get her number because we just assumed she would contact us. To be honest, if I were her I wouldn't want to meet us. Someone hit my cat when she was 2- luckily got away with just a torn back leg ligament and bloody nose...but accident or not I would have decked the person that did it lol.  I would much rather hit a person because more than likely it'd be their fault anyway and you can at least let them know everything will be okay! 

You guys are awesome, thanks for replying, I do feel better about it already. I'm definitely going to love it here- I can't believe I didn't join a cat forum years ago! I'm always going on about my cat and at least here people want to share it lol!

Thank you , Ash x

Welcome to TCS. :hi:

I have the fear of being in a car and running over an animal (any kind), too. Just realize that you did everything you could, and nothing was really your fault. The cat was very lucky that you were there to help it! As aeevr said, the world would be a better place if more people did what you did for that cat.

Oh honey, you and your boyfriend didn't do anything wrong, you did everything right! Like someone else said, accidents happen..that's why they're called accidents. Don't beat yourself up over this. Your boyfriend was driving the speed limit and the kitty chose the wrong time to run out. It WASN'T YOUR FAULT.

I second checking in and making sure he's ok. This is completely different than when your cat was hit because you did everything you could to save the cat. It sounds like your cat was hit and left on the side of the road. YOU stopped, searched, checked houses, took him to the vet, etc. Honestly, I would be grateful to anyone that did that much for one of mine. It could be that the owners were too upset and weren't thinking straight to actually call and say thank you. 

BTW, welcome to TCS   . Yes, you found the best site around that understands how you feel about cats.

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Hi, I'm new here too!

I, also, think that it may be a good idea to follow up on the cat and talk to the owner. It would probably go a long way in giving you closure and being able to put this behind you.

I understand how upsetting this was and is for you. I remember when I was a teen, I witnessed a cat getting hit by a car. Still to this day, I can hear the cat screaming when I think back on it. It's just horrible, so I completely understand how upsetting this is for you and your boyfriend.

You went above and beyond, far beyond, what most people would do.  It wasn't your fault; it was the fault of the person who let the cat outdoors.  But I know how you feel.  It happens to me occasionally, and it always bothers me.  (I'm a truck driver, and in driving 125,000+ miles per year, lots of things happen!)

Don't beat up on yourself or let your boyfriend do it to himself.  In fact, I would have to say if that kind of behavior is typical of him, he's a "keeper."

Here's one - how do you get over running over your neighbor's cat?

I was on my way to a 6:30am circuit class this morning and as I was coming up to my friends house (on a particularly busy stretch of the road) a cat ran out in front of my car.  It sounds like a cliche when I say 'it just came out of nowhere' and I never gave that sentence much credence when someone else said it, but now I totally understand.

I wasn't driving very fast (about 50km), but 100's of pounds of moving vehicle is no match for wee little kitty. I braked slightly hoping that he would make it between the wheels somehow, but no luck. I stopped and turned the headlights around (openly praying he wasn't hit) only to see him twitching on the road - obviously an instant death. The only thing I could do was to pick him up off the road, lay him down in the grass in my neighbor's driveway and stroke him - sounds silly, but it was instinctive. It was dark, and no-one was up yet. So the only thing I could do was turn around, go home and contact my neighbor. Really sad way to start the day.

I have never hit anything before and always swerve for even mice on the road!  I feel utterly awful and still see the cat (he was only a four month old kitten) jumping from a bush beside the road right into the path of my car.

I'm angry that she didn't keep her cat safe despite having lost cats in this way before on the very same road. Especially a four month old kitten!  I keep both of my cats inside 24x7 - they don't get sick, hit by cars, they don't kill birds and more importantly, they are safe and very happy to have the run of the house. Now because of her carelessness, I have to live with reality of hitting & killing a cat replaying in my mind over and over again for a very long time. I'm a animal sensitive person, one who is always saving the lost kitty or sick dog and now I have hit and killed something. 

How terrible. I'm so sorry you were exposed to this, due to your irresponsible neighbor. Who lets a 4 month old kitten outside? And at night? Just one more reason cats should be kept in, not just because of what can happen to the cat, but what the person who inadvertently hits the cat goes through. Poor little baby. The kitten most likely didn't suffer at all. I'm so sorry for you.

Thanks Otto, still doing the replay in my head 12 hours later, and still angry. In fact, I'm a foreigner living here (14 years now) and the locals have always scoffed at my approach to taking care of my cats and dogs. I have to keep my mouth shut as dogs and cats are allowed to roam freely on country roads while I keep my cats indoors and my dogs in a walled garden. In short, they think I'm the weird one who actually walks her dogs and has to get cat sitters to go on holidays! I can see how they think it's funny as their solution to that is to just leave their dogs out to exercise themselves - and well, let's not even go there with the cats! Don't think that's working out too well for them...but, I will not say 'I told you so'. BTW - neighbor has stated that she will not be getting another cat. 

I'm sorry you had to deal with that. I've agonized over running a squirrel.

I have a similar neighbor, but instead of getting hit, his cats keep getting lost to coyotes.

There is a special place in heaven for people like you guys. Your story helps restore some belief in the good side of mankind. I once hit a rabbit and to this day I hate driving along that stretch of road. ( I could not find the rabbit ). Enjoy and welcome to this site!!!

Cara1970 said:

Thanks Otto, still doing the replay in my head 12 hours later, and still angry. In fact, I'm a foreigner living here (14 years now) and the locals have always scoffed at my approach to taking care of my cats and dogs. I have to keep my mouth shut as dogs and cats are allowed to roam freely on country roads while I keep my cats indoors and my dogs in a walled garden. In short, they think I'm the weird one who actually walks her dogs and has to get cat sitters to go on holidays! I can see how they think it's funny as their solution to that is to just leave their dogs out to exercise themselves - and well, let's not even go there with the cats! Don't think that's working out too well for them...but, I will not say 'I told you so'. BTW - neighbor has stated that she will not be getting another cat. 

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Gosh, I pray she sticks to that. You sound like a wonderful pet owner. Thank heaven for people like you.

AbbysMom said:

I'm sorry you had to deal with that. I've agonized over running a squirrel.
I have a similar neighbor, but instead of getting hit, his cats keep getting lost to coyotes.

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Awful.

Three cat night said:

There is a special place in heaven for people like you guys. Your story helps restore some belief in the good side of mankind. I once hit a rabbit and to this day I hate driving along that stretch of road. ( I could not find the rabbit ). Enjoy and welcome to this site!!!

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I hit a weasel once. I'd only been driving for a few months, and I was so horrified I had to stop the car, get out and throw up. I was hysterical with grief. My (now ex) husband was furious at me, but I will probably never forget the experience, and pray I never hit any animal again. Even finding a butterfly stuck to the front grill of the car can make me cry. ugh.

I needed to join the conversation... I'm here obsessing and Googling. I'm not sure what to do. 

I'm living in France, and 2 nights ago I was driving with my boyfriend (he was driving, I don't drive here), it was 3AM and we were heading home (weren't drinking! lol. Were packing up his office). Not far from home, on the main road, a cat ran out in front of the car. I just saw it (I was kind of napping, but I'd opened my eyes). We hit it. I made him turn around so we could see if it was ok. So we did, and it wasn't lying in the road or anything. I got out and found it hiding under a car. But when it came out from under the car (not towards me), it was dragging his back legs. He tried to jump into someone's yard but didn't make it, so then he cowered in a corner near someone's driveway gate. He had a collar, but before I could get to him, he squeezed under the gate. We hesitated, but then rang the bell. After a minute, a porch light came on. But then nothing else. We rang again. Nothing. We couldn't get to the cat, and nobody was replying to us on the intercom. I don't know if this is where the cat lives. So we left. 

Today I'm still feeling terrible, and I want to know if someone found the cat, if it was taken to the vet, if it survived, and if there's any way I can help. I mean, I can't afford a huge vet bill, but I could do some fund raising to help, if it's possible. I hate the thought of some little girl or an old woman who loves this cat the way that I love mine. My cat is my baby. I love him more than anything. Which is why I don't live on a main road, and I don't let him out at night. So I'm a little mad at this cat's owner for putting it in this situation. At least it had a collar. 

I just don't know if we could have done anything differently, and what I can do now....?

manicpixie said:

I needed to join the conversation... I'm here obsessing and Googling. I'm not sure what to do. 

I'm living in France, and 2 nights ago I was driving with my boyfriend (he was driving, I don't drive here), it was 3AM and we were heading home (weren't drinking! lol. Were packing up his office). Not far from home, on the main road, a cat ran out in front of the car. I just saw it (I was kind of napping, but I'd opened my eyes). We hit it. I made him turn around so we could see if it was ok. So we did, and it wasn't lying in the road or anything. I got out and found it hiding under a car. But when it came out from under the car (not towards me), it was dragging his back legs. He tried to jump into someone's yard but didn't make it, so then he cowered in a corner near someone's driveway gate. He had a collar, but before I could get to him, he squeezed under the gate. We hesitated, but then rang the bell. After a minute, a porch light came on. But then nothing else. We rang again. Nothing. We couldn't get to the cat, and nobody was replying to us on the intercom. I don't know if this is where the cat lives. So we left. 

Today I'm still feeling terrible, and I want to know if someone found the cat, if it was taken to the vet, if it survived, and if there's any way I can help. I mean, I can't afford a huge vet bill, but I could do some fund raising to help, if it's possible. I hate the thought of some little girl or an old woman who loves this cat the way that I love mine. My cat is my baby. I love him more than anything. Which is why I don't live on a main road, and I don't let him out at night. So I'm a little mad at this cat's owner for putting it in this situation. At least it had a collar. 

I just don't know if we could have done anything differently, and what I can do now....?

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You do not say if this was far from where you live - if you can, I would go back there and try to find out what happened. Also, in France, people are supposed to report injured or dead animals on the roads to the local Mairie, who will take charge and try to find the owner. So, if you can call the Mairie and explain, they may be able to help you. Be aware that many local rural mairies are only open one or two days a week, so you may get a message telling you to call back. If you do not know the name of the Commune where this happened, then you can call your own mairie with the name of the village and they will tell you where the mairie is. It is always an awful thing to happen, but it is a risk that owners take, and most people here do let their cats out. I am constantly being called cruel and unnatural by even my closest friends because I keep most of mine in, but they lose their cats, I don't.

Thanks for the tips, Jenny. It was actually pretty close to home. I'm trying to remember if a bus goes by that way... 

A bit problem for me is that I don't really speak French. So phone calls don't go well, and visiting people  - like my neighbour, when I first moved in... I had to go rescue my cat from behind our houses because I have no back door, he jumped from the terrace... it was really hard telling her why I needed to go through her house - can be frustrating. Sometimes I write things out and translate them in advance. 

Would the mairie be able to help if you don't have the animal or anything? How would they be able to find the owner? 

My cat has always been an indoor/outdoor cat... he's out right now. He's being really annoying these days, I have to keep opening the door to let him out and the window to let him in... I need to live in a warmer place where I can leave the window open. lol. He's almost 9 now. But I'm consistant about getting him in at night, usually by 9pm, and I won't let him out before the sun is up. He's trained to come when I ring a bell, too. I used to live in an area creeping with coyotes. And now, of course, people drive faster on the streets I live near, and night time seems more dangerous. But I'd never just keep him inside all the time. He's an animal. He may do stupid things, but animals live outside. He's not my captive. He's more like a kid, and I can't be overprotective if I want him to enjoy his life. I can't wait to live in a place where he can go frolicking in fields. :-) I also find it's probably more dangerous if a cat never goes outside, and suddenly perhaps DOES escape outside... they'd get overwhelmed, scared.... probably not react as well as a cat who's used to being outside. 

I was thinking of writing a note in French and putting it in the mailbox of the house he crept to, just saying I was the one who rang the bell, there was an injured cat in their yard, and I'd like to know who he belongs to and if he's ok.... ?

I do understand - I came here thinking I could let my cats out and I bought a place miles from anywhere so they could run in the fields. Then 3 months after we moved, one of my cats was poisoned and I stopped letting them out till I knew what had happened. Then another one got caught in a rabbit snare and vanished for three days, coming back injured. So now only 2 go out, only during hte day and never at weekends during the hunting season. They are the ones who need to go out - the others have adapted fine.

I think your idea of a note is a good one - but if you can explain it to the local maire, he would probably try to help. They usually know their residents very well, and their animals. At least you would know you have done what you could.

Are you in France permanently? If som it would be a good idea to take some language classes - you miss an awful lot if you can't communicate! ANd if I couldn't talk to my vet I don't know what I would do!

This is a late post to this thread... but I am feeling awful. I ran over a cat tonight, it came out of nowhere under a car, and I attempted to break but if I had I would have been rear ended very badly and couldn't swerve due to cars around me. I pulled over immediately and moved it off the road, it was lifeless and looked like it had died on impact. I had no idea what to do, I knocked on a few doors on the busy street, but no one could tell me that they even knew any neighbours that owned a cat, and I called vets in the area but it being very late on a Saturday night, they were all closed. I left a note saying how sorry I was, and how I tried to contact them the best I could.

I still feel terrible though. I love my cat more than anything, am I a bad person for not doing anything else to help it? I just was frozen in fear and guilt.