Rehoming a feral cat- advice

Hey guys,I havn't been on here in a while, after Mufasa died, I was so devastated that I needed some time away from everything. I'm hoping you guys may have some advice for my situation. I got Chemul from a feral cat colony when she was 5 weeks old. She is two now, and loves me to death, but is terrified of strangers and change- which I have heard is normal for ferals. It breaks my heart to do this, but I am considering rehoming her as my son is constantly trying to mull and hug her, and she does not like it one bit- she tolerated it, but is clearly not happy. Putting her best interest at heart, I think it would be better if she went to a home without children. I think she will be happier not having to worry about getting all the unwanted attention. I am worried about rehoming her though as she is so fearful of strangers and changes. Will she be able to acclimatize to her new surroundings and owners? What advice should I give them when I find a good home?Also, and personal stories anyone has about rehomings ferals and how they've addapted would be great. My heart is breaking, but I feel this is the best decision for her. I love her so much it hurts to think about this.

Well, since she was taken in and socialized at 5 weeks she was never really a feral cat, just a little stray kitten. She was socialized (un-feralized) before she could turn into a wild animal which is what a feral cat is. So I don't think her issues has anything to do with how she started her life. Since you got her so early she should be no different than any other kitten that was raised around humans. Her stranger fear and attachment to you only is most likely just her personality. Some cats are just like that.

How old is your son? Could he be taught not to touch the kitty? Does she have a space where she can get away where the boy can't follow? I don't have kids but I have a dog that will bug the cats at times so I have baby gates in the opening to every room except for our bed room so the cats can get away and the dog can't follow and they can hang out in the other rooms without having to worry about the dogs coming in. Another thing we're going to do soon, that I would highly recommend, is to put up long shelves on the walls around the living room so that the cats can get around without setting foot on the floor. If Chemul can just jump up and get away quickly I think she could continue to do just fine with you. And your son won't be little forever.

With a little bit of effort and imagination I think this is a very fixable problem without rehoming her which, if it can be avoided I think would be in her best interest. She only knows you and your home has been hers her whole life. Although she could probably get used to a new home it would take time and be quite traumatic.

I'm currently dealing with a similar situation with a foster cat who is also two and has been with me since she was very little and is also very close to me and afraid of others. Very similar to your cat. She was adopted yesterday and she is still sitting under the couch in her new home and she cried and cried after I left her there last night. It's no fun at all I can assure you. I feel horrible about it and if I could have kept her and not had to put her through that I would have in a heart beat. But I have four cats of my own and another five fosters and I just can't keep more cats. The reason I had her for two years is because it took that long to find her a home. Unfortunately there aren't a lot of people out there willing to adopt adult cats, especially those who need some extra work to settle into a new home. I was lucky to find the lady that did adopt Lilly because she's willing to put in the work to make her feel comfortable. Most people are not.

If it comes down to it that Chemul is miserable with you and would be happier elsewhere start advertising her to find her a new home but I would recommend that you try a few other things first.

Good luck!

gothicangel69 said:

Hey guys, I havn't been on here in a while, after Mufasa died, I was so devastated that I needed some time away from everything. I'm hoping you guys may have some advice for my situation. I got Chemul from a feral cat colony when she was 5 weeks old. She is two now, and loves me to death, but is terrified of strangers and change- which I have heard is normal for ferals. It breaks my heart to do this, but I am considering rehoming her as my son is constantly trying to mull and hug her, and she does not like it one bit- she tolerated it, but is clearly not happy. Putting her best interest at heart, I think it would be better if she went to a home without children. I think she will be happier not having to worry about getting all the unwanted attention. I am worried about rehoming her though as she is so fearful of strangers and changes. Will she be able to acclimatize to her new surroundings and owners? What advice should I give them when I find a good home? Also, and personal stories anyone has about rehomings ferals and how they've addapted would be great. My heart is breaking, but I feel this is the best decision for her. I love her so much it hurts to think about this.

Click to expand...

AWWW Very hard to do to say the least :shame: I saw your post in the Behavior Forum about the unaltered male and the unaltered female? Is this the same female? Is she spayed? Just checking.....

I would try to get in touch with some local rescue, foster networks, TNR orgs, shelter's etc. etc. Friends, family as well. Hopefully someone will be willing to take her in :cross: :heart3: I know it is so hard to have to re-home a kitty like that. Bless you for taking Chemul in like that as a kitten. I am sure she is really not truly a feral cat, so I would NOT even state that word when you are trying to place her. That will make it much harder on you and her. Just tell people that she has a more timid, introverted personality - which is really true anyway. So don't mention that at all. I would tell the potential adopter's to keep her in a confined, small room until such time that she is willing to be pet and is trusting, safe and comfortable in her new home. I wish you ALL the best in this situation :cross:

Ziggy'smom said:

How old is your son? Could he be taught not to touch the kitty? Does she have a space where she can get away where the boy can't follow? 

Click to expand...

  

This would be such a great opportunity to teach your son about the boundaries of other living beings, and how to respect their personal space. And I bet if you could ask Chemul, she'd probably choose to put up with the occasional "mauling" by your son rather than experience the trauma of going to a new home. As long as she has places she can escape to, I don't see why she can't stay with you.

I’m new to this site but not as a cat owner.  I’ve had cats all my life and they have all been feral or stray recues. 

When my daughter was born there were four cats in the house and all elderly and laid back.  My Furnando sounds like your Chemul.  He hides from strangers and will only come to me for pets on his terms.  You don’t mention how old your son is but my daughter is now six.   Only one of my cats tolerated her loud noises and screams while the others would run and hide.  Fernando learned to come out at night after she went to bed.  There was constant discipline with my daughter telling her to be gentle.  I would even hold her hand and show her how to softly stroke the cats and where they did and did not like to be touched.  You need to be firm and tell your son it’s not okay for him to grab your cat and he could hurt Chemul.  Two of my cats have scratched at my daughter.   I’ve told her it’s there way of telling her not to do something.  I recommend you show your son how to play with Chemul using cat toys on strings.  My daughter still loves to run around the house and drag the cat toy on a string.  This works well for us.  I understand your son wants to love Chemul but you need to set limits and tell him what is allowed and not allowed. 

I also like the advice about making sure Chemul has places to hide.  All my cats do and I would tell my daughter to leave the cats alone if they were in their hiding places.  There were even certain rooms she could not go into which allowed the cats a quiet place.

It sounds like you have a huge heart and want to make it work.  Have you tried reading articles about how to socialize your cat with children?

I believe with some good guidance and support you can teach your son and Chemul to be friends.

I have been trying for over a year to work things out, and nothing has helped. I'm sorry I didn't explain things fully in my original post, I was so upset by the thought of her leaving that I didn't explain the whole situation.

My son used to be very good with the cats and respectful of them (he is 5 right now). He grew up with Mufasa, who was his best friend and he absolutely adored him. Unfortunately, we had to put him down last year as he got very very sick. We got Chemul about a year before he was put down, and they were the best of friends. Ever since Mufasa died, my son hates Chemul (I think he associates her with him dieing). At first, he used to kick her, hit her, and throw things at her. I thought I was going to have to rehome her then for her own safety, but after a few months things died down (I did discipline him for doing those things, but he was so filled with grief that nothing worked. It was a very tough time for both of us). Ever since then, she has been very nervous around him. She tolerates him petting her because she is such a sweetheart, but you can clearly tell that she does not like it one bit. Her problem is that she will not run away and hide, or scratch or bite him. She just starts crying for me to come save her whenever he tries to pet or hug her.

He is wonderful with the other two, but just does not like Chemul anymore. My son still wakes up crying at least a few times a week because he misses his cat, and he's been gone for almost a year now. As you can see, its a very complicated situation, and I am trying to do the best thing for both my son and Chemul.

I met a lovely couple today who are looking for a playmate for their 9 month old kitten. They have a quiet house as their children are all grown up and moved away. Their current cat was also taken from a feral colony when it was a baby, so they are aware of her special needs, and more then willing to accomodate them. They also believe in indoor only cats, and are against declawing (which is a must have for an owner). They came to see her this evening and we have agreed to do a two week trial period. If she does not seem to be settling in by then, or becomes too stressed out, I will pick her up immediately. They are going to keep her confined to their bedroom for a week, or until she starts comming around. These people seem very nice, and I think would be able to provide a perfect home for Chemul. I miss her like crazy, and it hurts to know that she is gone, but I really think this is the best thing for her.

Oh WOW, hun, this is really great news .... I know this is hard on you. But after reading about your son and how grief stricken he still is over Mufasa and how he is directing his anger/grief on Chemul - this IS for the best. OH I really hope that this wonderful couple will give Chemul a chance to settle in as it might be longer than a week. Just try to encourage them to keep trying even if the week doesn't work out to well. I really do think this is the best home for her. So sorry you had to let her go - it is obvious you do love her so. :heart3: Chemul will be much happier, healthier and stable in this new home. I am sure. I really hope this works out :cross: Please keep us posted