Character reference letter

lilblu

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This is a very private and sensitive issue. I had something happen to me which I am not at fault for, am being blamed for, and have chosen to go to court for. I need someone who isn't related to me to write me a letter of character reference. I do not have a job and the only person I can think of to ask is my veterinarian. I've been going to the same one for many years and even applied for a job with them last year. I didn't get the job, they didn't say why, but implied they might hire me when business picks up. I assume they were looking for someone with experience at that time and I didn't have that. Our relationship extends beyond that of the average veterinarian/client relationship and I think it's because they know I really care about my pets. He knows I'm interested in veterinary medicine and that I only want what's best for my pets and he really seems to like that about me. But asking him to write a letter of character reference seems odd. I mean, what can a vet say about me that shows what kind of person I am?

I'm hestitant to ask and I'm wondering what you all think about this? Would you ask your vet if you needed the letter and had no one else to ask?
 

AbbysMom

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If you have no one else to ask, what can it hurt? But, are you sure there is absolutely no one else? Former employer, teacher, neighbor, etc. ?
 

Winchester

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A co-worker, even a former co-worker. Perhaps somebody who was on the same committee as you for something. (I wrote a character reference for a gentleman who was on the same planning commission as me.)  Somebody you mentored or mentored you? A friend? Somebody in your church? If you have to ask your vet, by all means, do so. It can't hurt.
 
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lilblu

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I've been out of school for about 14 years and I doubt any of my teachers remember me as I was too quiet and not memorable. There's one that might, but that seems just plain weird asking a teacher I haven't seen in that long for a character reference. I live in a rural area so my neighbors aren't exactly close by. I've never had a job (don't ask).
  I don't go to church either.

I seriously do not get out much at all. I have social anxiety disorder. The only people I see on a regular basis are relatives and the vet. I don't even go to the doctor. I usually see the vet several times a year. It just seems weird to ask him.
 

swampwitch

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My advice is to ask everyone you can possibly think of for reference letters, including neighbors and any doctors even though you don't see them much, even acquaintances if you have to. Emphasize that they need to talk about your character (you'd be surprised how people will forget to include the main idea!).

My experience with reference letters, for myself, my daughter, my husband is always surprising: the people you think will write the best ones often don't come through (sometimes not at all), and the people who you think won't really help you out, sometimes write you an awesome letter. You need to cast as wide of a net as possible. Maybe even some people from here or other forums, if you have had discussions with them over a period of time, ask. Don't assume teachers or others from years ago won't remember you, you will be surprised, and you need them, so contact them anyway. You've nothing to lose.

 
 
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lilblu

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Well I certainly can't ask people who don't know who I am to write a reference letter. My neighbors don't know me and have never met me. My doctors won't remember me from the one or two times I went to them 10 years ago. The majority of my teachers have retired and there's no contact information for them. There would only be one teacher left that I could ask. I have no acquaintances other than the vet. I seriously do not get out much. I could fall off the face of the planet and no one would even notice.

I've got someone on some other forum that's telling me I shouldn't ask anyone who I don't have a close relationship with to write a letter. They're saying it wouldn't look good for me to ask the vet, which is a good point. They're saying I don't need a character reference letter for a minor traffic ticket.

I didn't get any answers out of the lawyer one way or another as to how important the letter really is. I explained that it would be difficult and awkward to obtain a letter and he really didn't say much. All he said is that it's better to have it than to not have it. But he mostly deals with serious traffic cases like DUIs.
 

calico2222

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I don't see why not, especially if your relationship with him is more than just a client. I think how a person treats animals says a great deal about their character overall so I think it would be appropriate. 
 
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