I don't like kids

natalie_ca

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Man! I feel for you! I don't like kids either, and there is no way I would be found in a situation with 20 screaming kids! My friends and family know better than to ask me because I've been very vocal about my low tolerance for kids.

If you don't want to go, don't. Just talk to your son or daughter about how you feel about being around that many young kids.  Or you can feign being sick. It is flu season ;)
 

cattybird

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I'm another nonfan of kids. Everyone  else in my family loves them. I can tolerate my Grand Niece, but then we live in different states.:). I hope you can find a way out of this.
 

gailc

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My husband comes from a large family.  17 nieces and nephews. oldest is now 42 and youngest 22.  But there are 35+ plus 3 more due this spring.  At any one time during a gathering 10 can be in one place!  Not at my house thankfully.

I hope you don't get stuck watching the kids.
 

rafm

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I'm not a fan of kids either. I remember being 12 yo and announcing I didn't want kids.....to which everyone replied "you'll change your mind when you meet someone". Well, I met him, and he didn't want kids either. A match made in heaven. I'm 38 now and there is no chance we will have children. And I am perfectly OK with that. 

Kids like me though, it is really weird. And I'm good with kids, heck, I have a degree in applied behavior analysis and worked extensively with kids with behavior disorders for a time. But, I don't like hanging out with them. 

I have a friend, same age as me, actually, she turns 39 in March and she has a 3 yo and a 13 week old. Just going to visit them exhausts me. I always schedule my visits so I can come home and take a nap after. However, I attend every birthday party, even the one at the Little Gym last year because it means something to my friend. Even though she knows it's torture for me, she knows I always make the effort to appear. Maybe not for long, but I do show, and I know she appreciates it. 

Oh, and the spanking thing....I was spanked, a lot and I turned out OK. Would I have spanked if I'd have had kids, probably not, but not everyone that was spanked ends up in jail. 
 

swampwitch

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As far as the birthday goes, I would go.  Most parents will not drop off a 6 year old.  I wouldn't even drop off my 8 year old.  

 Most of the guests should have a parent present for the party, and if anybody is screaming or crying (sometimes there'll be one unhappy kid), the parent deals with it and/or removes the kid from the group. Cheering each other on during a sport is loud, period, whether it's adults or kids, but those are happy yells.

If group of people any age are all yelling and screaming, there's something very wrong, I wouldn't want to be around something like that, either. I've never been to a kid's party where the kids were screaming most of the time. Most kids fit into society pretty well. Sure they can be enthusiastic, but it's a party.
 
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goonie

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i'm 54 and never had kids and never wanted any, unless they have 4 legs, fur, tail or wings. people always thought me weird for not wantingthem but so what.

a girl i worked in retail with years ago had a boy and a girl. one day she said to me 'if i would've worked retail before i had kids i never would've had any. 
 

swampwitch

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p.s. Difficult, annoying kids are usually innocents who are acting out against something they can't deal with; next time check out the parent(s). Remember also the kid might have a disability perhaps not being handled very well, again watch the parents' interactions with their child.
 
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resqchick

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Have a Cafe mocha Valium vodka latte. 


I have 4 kids. I adore my kids. I live for my kids. I have about a NYC seconds worth of patience for OTHER peoples kids. I don't know why, but they irk me. They annoy me, and when they come to my house, they drive me nuts. I have 17 nieces and nephews. I can tolerate them for holidays. That's it. No, I don't want to take the kids to the park and play with them. Especially the younger ones.I would rather stick needles in my eyes during a root canal then herd a pack of them on a field trip. My youngest is 6, and I barely tolerate the playdates. I'd NEVER harm a child, and would probably do anything to help one. Just don't make me hang out with them-especially an entire gaggle of them.

I LOVE my older kids friends.They are like my own, they live here, and I feed them constantly, I drive them all over and I pick them up when they are sick and their parents can't. Ages 3-9, I just don't like them. LOL. Teenagers are FUN! They like cool stuff, I like cool stuff. It's all good.

I know why I don't like them, and that's because of Eric. He was a young demon i babysat for, who's parents though was the second coming of Christ. Walking on water, creating fish in the sea kind of kid. Let me tell you this: He was a DEMON. The second his parents went out for the night, the little freak physically and emotionally scarred me for life. Kicking, screaming, throwing things...I'm telling you-Satan would have behaved better and would have been more pleasant. 

Anyhow, 30 years later, I know he's in jail, a used car salesman, or a lawyer, and I am left with the nightmares. 

Anyhow, I'd go for the two hours, since it's not an every day thing. I'd tell the parents you want to bowl a bit yourself, and start a game with a few parents...who can herd their own children if they get out of line. Normally bowling parties are pretty good-they bowl and don't need much assistance with that, the food and cake is usually afterwards, then they go home. As far as parties, it's one of the less torturous ones. I'll pray for you. 
 

resqchick

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One reason I don't like parents. Always on a power trip, hitting their kids just because they can. I get that kids are frustrating, but maybe you should have grown up and developed some self-control before breeding? Civilized adults do not hit people. THOSE are the kids who end up in jail. I doubt there's one person in jail right now who was never spanked.

I think many people in jail are there because of a lack of discipline. Don't get me wrong-I really don't spank my kids, I believe my daughter got it only once in her life and my 11 year old son got it once from me. I don't believe in beating children, of course, but a slap on the butt can work wonders for some children's attitude. My daughter once told my husband that in school they told her that spanking is child abuse. He got the phone and asked her if she'd like to call CPS. She declined since she understands why she got the spanking, and agrees that she actually deserved it, and probably more. Beating is abuse, spanking is not. 

I was spanked, it taught me to respect my parents and older people in general. I do not break the law, I also have respect for authority, and I also resect and cherish my elders. (and I'm 45!!)Much of what is wrong with kids and young adults there days is a lack of respect for others. My house is not a democracy. My husband and myself are the adults, we pay the bills, we make the rules. My children do not challenge these facts simply because they understand and respect us, and they know their boundaries. I'll tell you what drives me absolutely NUTS-when a parent of a, lets say 8 year old treat that 8 year old like they are an adult, and an equal in a familial unit. Children are given parents for a reason, and an 8 year old is not an adult or a parent. I love my kids, but they are children. They are treated as such.
 

trouts mom

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I don't really like other people's children all that much unless they give me a reason to. I don't automatically like kids, but if they are sweet and cute and well behaved I like them. I love my neices. I LOVE babies...what's not to love?!

I do get all googly eyed for babies, but we have been trying for almost 2 years so that could be why..lol..
 

3catsn1dog

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Awww Pam...I feel for you having to deal with the potential of that birthday party issue.

M&K are almost 9 and 8 and when they have bday parties most of the parents stay there and dont do the drop off and go, the few that do drop off have cleared it ahead of time asking if its ok to drop off and go.

I do not like other peoples kids at all. I like my own, just not anyone elses. Mine it takes one hairy eyeball look and the screaming and yelling and girly shrieking turns into quiet time. They know the rules, they play by the rules (of course there are a few exception where someone gets rammy) but all in all, they are pretty dang good kids. But I made them act that way, I inforce the please and thank yous, proper acknowledgment of grown ups, and especially respect the animals or suffer the consequences.

I have a nephew who is the spoiled demon child from you know where. At Christmas he was trying to rip off ornaments, into everything, throwing stuff around..general banshee behavior..where were the parents...off doing their own thing not paying attention. OMG irked the crap outta me, and it wasnt the kids fault it was the parents.

As a parent its their job to start from day one instilling right from wrong, how to act in public, how to behave and be a normal human being, general respect for other people their space and property. In black and white it sounds strict but its probably the one good thing I took out of how I was raised. Im 27 and I still call my moms friends by Mr. so and so or Mrs so and so. I feel sooooooooooo uncomfortable calling what I still consider the grown ups by their first names. It gives me the heebie jeebies. I want M and K and Gremlin to be the same way.
 

Willowy

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I think many people in jail are there because of a lack of discipline. Don't get me wrong-I really don't spank my kids, I believe my daughter got it only once in her life and my 11 year old son got it once from me. I don't believe in beating children, of course, but a slap on the butt can work wonders for some children's attitude. My daughter once told my husband that in school they told her that spanking is child abuse. He got the phone and asked her if she'd like to call CPS. She declined since she understands why she got the spanking, and agrees that she actually deserved it, and probably more. Beating is abuse, spanking is not.
I didn't say it was abuse. But I consider to be bullying, uncivilized, unacceptable behavior and I don't like bullies. I have an extremely low opinion of people who hit other people, no matter how old they are. Very low. As in, I don't like them. Not even a little. I may even hate them. So, of course, people can do whatever they want, but I don't have to like them.

And, yes, many people in jail are there because they lack discipline. But most of them grew up with no lack of punishment. There is a big difference between discipline and punishment.


Of course this has not much to do with the OP and I don't want to hijack the thread. I just thought that at least one person should stand up on the kids' side :tongue2:.
 
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resqchick

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I have a nephew who is the spoiled demon child from you know where. At Christmas he was trying to rip off ornaments, into everything, throwing stuff around..general banshee behavior..where were the parents...off doing their own thing not paying attention. OMG irked the crap outta me, and it wasnt the kids fault it was the parents.

As a parent its their job to start from day one instilling right from wrong, how to act in public, how to behave and be a normal human being, general respect for other people their space and property. In black and white it sounds strict but its probably the one good thing I took out of how I was raised. Im 27 and I still call my moms friends by Mr. so and so or Mrs so and so. I feel sooooooooooo uncomfortable calling what I still consider the grown ups by their first names. It gives me the heebie jeebies. I want M and K and Gremlin to be the same way.
I always call people Mr and Mrs. It's pretty funny because my husband and I have a friend, Kevin, that my husband grew up with. (DH is 48). Kevins mom passed away when they were young teenagers, and His dad, Mr Mooney, remarried probably 20 years ago. Well, they have 2 more kids, MY KIDS AGES!! So I see Kevins dad and step mom, all the time. When I see them, I STILL call them Mr and Mrs Mooney. I did manage to call Mrs Mooney, Kathy, when our boys were in scouts together, but Mr Mooney is Mr Mooney. So one day at LAX (yes, our sons play together) I said "Hi, Mr Mooney!" and he said "I know I've known you for 25 years, and I think you're old enough to call me Ed". Even funnier is when we see Kevin, MY kids call HIM Mr Mooney, along with his dad, Mr Mooney. Confusing , but I cannot imagine calling him Ed. He's my friends FATHER for Gods sake!  My kids friends call me, Mrs, except the ones that call me Mom. I love going to the store with a bunch of them-they all call me mom, and people look at me like "You don't LOOK like you have 13 children, and 1 of them is asian, 3 are hispanic, and 2 are black!" 
 

rockcat

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There.....I've said it. I don't like kids and I don't enjoy being around them. I never did the babysitting thing when I was younger. I don't coo at babies. I have been known to get all googly-eyed over a kitten. But not a baby. At all. I'm the one who goes to a restaurant and, if I see kids close to where the greeter wants to seat us, I will asked to be seated elsewhere. Far, far away from the kids. And if need be, I will beg. On my hands and knees.

Except for my grandkids. And therein lies the rub. I do love being around my grandchildren. I'm not a doting grandmother and I don't live my life for my grandchildren. I don't spend all my time talking about them and I don't have a lot of pictures of them strewn about the house or my office. But I do enjoy being with them....as long as I can give them back to their parents after the day is over. Especially as they grow older and actually become people (that's not saying it right, but hopefully you understand what I mean).

My grandson will be six years old on Saturday and his parents are planning a party for him. I don't have a problem with that; it's going to be at a bowling alley (he loves to bowl) and, I believe, there are going to be 20 other kids there. And that's where my issue comes in. I don't like kids. I don't want to bothered with them; I don't want to be around them. I don't like the yelling and screaming where kids are concerned. And I know I'm going to be expected to help chaperone those children. Me. And 20 kids. For cryin' out loud.

How do I deal with 20 yelling kids? At a bowling alley? On a sugar high from ice cream and cake? Even for 5 minutes, let alone two hours?

Is there enough Advil in the world? Can Advil be mixed with tequila? And is it scary that I even want to know that? (You do know that I'm being silly about the Advil and tequila, right? Well, partially.)
Perhaps if you are asked to help chaperone, you say you would just rather join the party. I wouldn't pretend to have a cold or another engagement, as some have suggested. Just be honest. Say you would rather not. Then go and be cheerful and enjoy YOUR grandkids. They will remember you for it. I miss my Grandma. I'm so glad that we enjoyed each other while she was still with us.
 

ruthyb

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I have 3 children and I HATE birthday parties and having loads of kids running round screaming and certainly NOT in my house
 We normally just do a family party and they can choose one friend to come. I try and avoid going to kids parties,if my kids get invited I drop them off and pick them up later
 My mum doesn't particuraly like a lot of screaming kids so she probably wouldn't attend a big party if we had one (well come on who does). Hey my kids are no angels but I would like to think that they have some respect. I am sure that your daughter would understand if you just missed the party and went when all the other kids had gone home,surely you won't be able to spend quality time with your grandson with a load of other kids running around?x
 

miagi's_mommy

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I love kids. If you don't want to go, nobody is forcing you.. right? Get him a birthday present in advance so his parents can take with for him to the party or just show up for an hour or so. That's a lot of kids to handle though for a person who doesn't like kids. Birthday parties are fun for the kids, it may not be that bad! I love going to birthday parties for kids, no matter if they are hyper or not and my best friend's kids are WILD but they have a lot of people at their parties and I don't mind.

 I used to be a co-leader for girl scouts and I enjoyed that. Kids can be brats though, so I understand where you are coming from. If you don't want to go, just tell the parents. They may just want your help since that is a lot of kids but maybe shouldn't have invited so many and they shouldn't force you to go. I don't want kids, but enjoy being around them if that makes any sense. :) I like being able to give them back.. hehe.
 
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nebula

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Spanking isn't bullying.

And yes, Discipline is different from Punishment, both have a place in the household. Discipline is guidance toward correct behavior, punishment is after the behavior has been done.

Spanking has a place in the FOUR D'S

D-isobedeince

D-isrespect

D-ishonest

and D-anger Situations

Never in anger, always in love- and never in excess..
 

ruthyb

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Spanking isn't bullying.

And yes, Discipline is different from Punishment, both have a place in the household. Discipline is guidance toward correct behavior, punishment is after the behavior has been done.

Spanking has a place in the FOUR D'S

D-isobedeince

D-isrespect

D-ishonest

and D-anger Situations

Never in anger, always in love- and never in excess..
I agree 100% x
 

Willowy

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Spanking isn't bullying.
Your opinion. Not mine. I do not see how hitting people to get your own way is not bullying just because they are smaller and younger than you (even more so!). Living in fear that someone is going to hit you if you mess up is being bullied. Because someone disrespects you, you get to hit them? Because someone doesn't do as you say, you get to hit them? Not acceptable behavior in my book. And really, hitting children because they display anger? I would laugh if that weren't so sad. But go on thinking whatever you want. I will never feel that hitting is ever acceptable, and I will always have a very low opinion of people who engage in such behavior.
 
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