There.....I've said it. I don't like kids and I don't enjoy being around them. I never did the babysitting thing when I was younger. I don't coo at babies. I have been known to get all googly-eyed over a kitten. But not a baby. At all. I'm the one who goes to a restaurant and, if I see kids close to where the greeter wants to seat us, I will asked to be seated elsewhere. Far, far away from the kids. And if need be, I will beg. On my hands and knees.
Except for my grandkids. And therein lies the rub. I do love being around my grandchildren. I'm not a doting grandmother and I don't live my life for my grandchildren. I don't spend all my time talking about them and I don't have a lot of pictures of them strewn about the house or my office. But I do enjoy being with them....as long as I can give them back to their parents after the day is over. Especially as they grow older and actually become people (that's not saying it right, but hopefully you understand what I mean).
My grandson will be six years old on Saturday and his parents are planning a party for him. I don't have a problem with that; it's going to be at a bowling alley (he loves to bowl) and, I believe, there are going to be 20 other kids there. And that's where my issue comes in. I don't like kids. I don't want to bothered with them; I don't want to be around them. I don't like the yelling and screaming where kids are concerned. And I know I'm going to be expected to help chaperone those children. Me. And 20 kids. For cryin' out loud.
How do I deal with 20 yelling kids? At a bowling alley? On a sugar high from ice cream and cake? Even for 5 minutes, let alone two hours?
Is there enough Advil in the world? Can Advil be mixed with tequila? And is it scary that I even want to know that? (You do know that I'm being silly about the Advil and tequila, right? Well, partially.)