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I don't like kids

post #1 of 54
Thread Starter 

There.....I've said it. I don't like kids and I don't enjoy being around them. I never did the babysitting thing when I was younger. I don't coo at babies. I have been known to get all googly-eyed over a kitten. But not a baby. At all. I'm the one who goes to a restaurant and, if I see kids close to where the greeter wants to seat us, I will asked to be seated elsewhere. Far, far away from the kids. And if need be, I will beg. On my hands and knees.

 

Except for my grandkids. And therein lies the rub. I do love being around my grandchildren. I'm not a doting grandmother and I don't live my life for my grandchildren. I don't spend all my time talking about them and I don't have a lot of pictures of them strewn about the house or my office. But I do enjoy being with them....as long as I can give them back to their parents after the day is over. Especially as they grow older and actually become people (that's not saying it right, but hopefully you understand what I mean).

 

My grandson will be six years old on Saturday and his parents are planning a party for him. I don't have a problem with that; it's going to be at a bowling alley (he loves to bowl) and, I believe, there are going to be 20 other kids there. And that's where my issue comes in. I don't like kids. I don't want to bothered with them; I don't want to be around them. I don't like the yelling and screaming where kids are concerned. And I know I'm going to be expected to help chaperone those children. Me. And 20 kids. For cryin' out loud.

 

How do I deal with 20 yelling kids? At a bowling alley? On a sugar high from ice cream and cake? Even for 5 minutes, let alone two hours?

 

Is there enough Advil in the world? Can Advil be mixed with tequila? And is it scary that I even want to know that? (You do know that I'm being silly about the Advil and tequila, right? Well, partially.)

 

 

 

post #2 of 54
Well.... do you HAVE to go? I mean, would it be the end of the world if maybe you brought over his birthday present later?

Unfortunately, Advil and alcohol is looking like a bad mix. http://www.drugs.com/food-interactions/ibuprofen,advil.html

Furthermore, AMEN! I have 8 first cousins that range in age from 14 to 1 and, although they're my family and I love them, I can't stand to be around them for more than a few hours. I don't want to be seated near ANYONE at a restaurant if there's a table open in an empty section, but if the only option is a table next to kids, I'll leave or wait until they do. Yeah, really.

Yay for being childfree!!!!
post #3 of 54

I have to admit- I think the parents are being kind of selfish asking you to help chaperone a party with 20 6 year olds at a bowling party.  And I know that sounds snarky.  But I NEVER asked my parents for help with the birthday parties that I had for my kids- and trust me, I had my fair share of sleepovers, Chuck E parties etc etc........

 

I do believe at that age though- parents of the kids should stay and at least help out.  I don't think they're old enough yet to do the drop-off thing for a birthday party.  And hopefully they'll have a couple of parents who are willing to stay for "crowd control".  I never said anything on invites about that when the girls were little- but I knew many of their friend's parents well enough that I knew they'd stay and help. 

 

I hear you though with the alcohol and advil thing LOL.  My 15 year old had a Saturday night birthday party a couple of weeks ago, and I had 7 very loud teenage girls in my house from 6-10 pm LOL.  And my house isn't very big.  I was VERY thankful that dd didn't ask to let them all sleep over that night- that would have been a night of very little sleep for everyone in the house.

Cheryl

post #4 of 54

I have some ear plugs l can send you  ROFL!!

 

I love babies when their a few months old and full of giggles, but hate it when they whinge!

 

I love seeing my neices, but love it more when they go home

 

I like my house tidy

 

l like to come and go when l want

 

Yes, l'm so pleased l didn't have them,  but l admire those that have  laughing02.gif

post #5 of 54

I have to agree with Sneakymom; I think that's awfully young for parents to just drop off their kids and expect someone else to watch them.  Could you tactfully suggest that some of the party guests parents be invited to help out?

Honestly, if it was me, I'd probably put in a 15 minute appearance and then leave.  If that's not an option, may I say----you poor, poor thing alright.gif

post #6 of 54
laughing02.gif nothing wrong with that Pam! Plenty of people feel the same way believe me.
I went to my nephew's birthday party last year at a bowling alley. Something like 20 9 year olds and assorted siblings. You can imagine the scene! At least most parents were there helping out so it was an organized chaos, and the setting was entirely appropriate for a kid's party.
post #7 of 54

You must be my long lost sister :)

 

I don't like them either. They are cute for short periods of time but any longer and I am done. I have one son who is now 24 and I love him with all of my heart but I knew after 1 there would be no more.

 

I get suckered for lack of a better word into chaperoning my nieces parties and my other relative just had a baby a couple of years ago and they used to ask me to babysit. This little boy is 3 now and he loves me soooooo much. He wants to come over all the time and even has Mama call me. I love him to death in small doses. I think most of my issue is I don't know how to interact with them. I feel so awkward around them. Nothing turns me into a nervous mess than little kids.

 

I am also like you with kittens and kittys. I turn into a goo goo eyed, baby talking fool around them.

 

And get this.... I want grandkids (strange I know)

post #8 of 54

Try dealing with a bunch of screaming hyperactive kids when you've got the flu and a really high fever. THAT was not fun.

 

I am the same way, to a point. I did the babysitting thing. I have a niece and nephew that I love dearly...but don't think I want my own. I like being able to give them back. Personally, pets sort of fill that "void" that a child normally would...People tell me "you'll change your mind!". I am 28 and still haven't. Parker is my son lol and my mother calls him her grandson. It works for me! lol

post #9 of 54
I don't want kids of my own (too scary of a responsibility to raise the next batch of humans. I'm sure I'd mess up bad) but I do enjoy the company of kids. The younger the better. It's the adults I'm not too fond of. Parents especially.
post #10 of 54

I don't think I'll get to be a grandma because my son doesn't like or want any kids.  He and his girlfriend have seen way too many of their friends out of control kids for him to want any of his own...ever 

post #11 of 54

I worked in daycare for 7+ years. Church nursery, and taught Pre-K for years. Enough is enough and I got fed up. I generally liked the kids, it is the parents I could not stand.

 

Of course, if little Johnny bites someone (despite the fact this is a daily occourence) it isn't HIS fault. Someone HAD to of provoked him.....

 

Or even better yet. "I tried spanking my kids and they cried and didn't like it. So I stopped" EEK huh??

 

I just can't handle the lack of discipline and so many kids are headed toward prison yep yep. And any future kids I do have, I refuse to raise a prisoner- I.e I will be a very very very strict mama, because of everything I have seen. Things such as a 4 year old who made knife death threats to teachers, and a 6 year old who would burn lizards with magnifying glasses and laugh.. or squeeze a frog until its eyes popped out... Nope no thanks, no more!


I have a little second cousin, she is 8 - and I love her to death... she may as well be an adult with how polite she is, etc...

 

That being said, I admire those who CAN and do love to work with children, I don't like being around people, period. Especially little people!!! You're not alone. Grandma can make a 10 minute appearance, or ---

 

Our family has 2 parties generally. One for Brylie (my little cousin) her friends from school and they go to those dreadful child-filled places such as Chuck E cheese and the like, and they have a scaled down- cake & ice cream & gifts party for the immediate family. I go to the latter, and it seems acceptable. If I can't make it, I just spend some one-on-one time with her the day before or after her birthday, give her our gift etc.

 

 

Oh and as far as alcohol and pain meds: :)

 

"Alcohol may intensify this affect" that means, it makes it work better right? :D

post #12 of 54
One reason I don't like parents. Always on a power trip, hitting their kids just because they can. I get that kids are frustrating, but maybe you should have grown up and developed some self-control before breeding? Civilized adults do not hit people. THOSE are the kids who end up in jail. I doubt there's one person in jail right now who was never spanked.
post #13 of 54
Quote:
Originally Posted by Willowy View Post

One reason I don't like parents. Always on a power trip, hitting their kids just because they can. I get that kids are frustrating, but maybe you should have grown up and developed some self-control before breeding? Civilized adults do not hit people. THOSE are the kids who end up in jail. I doubt there's one person in jail right now who was never spanked.


There is mounds of evidence supporting and refuting corporal punishment on kids. Me? I was spanked when needed (not excessively or abusively), and turned out fine. Spanking isn't the solution for every problem or every child, but on some major things- and with some kids, it is a great deterrent. I do think other things should be tried first, except for Deliberate disobedience or disrespect.

 

post #14 of 54

I know exactly what you mean. I don't like kids either, except my granddaughters. One is 6, turning into a little person, and the other is just 2 months and all she requires is a dry diaper, a full tummy and the occasional nap. She smiles and coos at me and is cute as a button. I have not been asked to babysit, but I would if I were needed. My dear daughter knows better than to ask me to be around a bunch of kids. She doesn't like to either.

post #15 of 54

Not a big fan of self-absorbed and ill-disciplined kids, either.  That said, I was raised by two amazing, caring, progressive people who somehow managed to THINK FOR THEMSELVES and as a result, I got a lot of life lessons in how to be compassionate, gentle, caring, thoughtful and considerate.  No one is perfect, but if more people would raise their kids with those values, there would be fewer people on this earth saying what we're saying.  Just sayin'.laughing02.gif

post #16 of 54

We never had children and I don't feel like my life was such a loss without them.  Oh I do love kids (some anyway), but having our own was never a burning desire.      We have a niece and nephew who we enjoy - actually between us I love our niece a little more -- she's such a young lady and so sweet (she's 8).  Her brother is 6 and can be a brat at times.    We practically never have them at our house, just go to their house.    Julian (our nephew) makes me nervous and Paul is always on edge that he's going to break something --- the cats get nervous with him around also.     So Pam, don't feel guilty, I think the older we get the harder it is to deal with kids and you don't have to be a babysitter all the time.      Advil and Tequila?   Maybe you've got something there --- how about a big glass of wine before the party!!!    (I can't believe Caleb is 6 already -- I remember when he was born -- but then our nephew Julian is 6 also!)

 

Just think - after the party you'll appreciate the cats even more!!!!

post #17 of 54

IMHO (please nobody flame me laughing02.gif) I would show for my grandson's sake and for no hurt feelings with the parents.  But I would make it clear in as gentle a way possible that I am only attending as a guest and have no intention of helping to watch the other kids.  And that I may have to step out early due to a previous engagement. 

post #18 of 54

I actually have a teenager and I HATE being around teenagers.  LOL  I have always done really well with little kids - under age 8 or 9 and I am good.  When they hit about 10...if they are not my own kids or really well behaved kids that belong to my friends, I can't stand to be around them.  Perhaps that is bad since I teach Kids Choir at my church for kids ages 11-12 and under.  God is dealing with me there. 

 

As far as the birthday goes, I would go.  Most parents will not drop off a 6 year old.  I wouldn't even drop off my 8 year old.  When my older son was 11, we went to a friend's b-day and I stayed.  He is my kid and I never expect others to watch him unless it is a "class" setting at church or co-op.  Maybe boyscouts but even then, not my 8 year old!  Take ear plugs though.  Bowling alleys are loud regardless of the number of kids screaming.

 

Some of the other posts talking about parents hitting their kids on a power trip, etc. I could have done without.  I have spanked my children.  I was spanked.  That is not my favorite or most used form of discipline, but it has happened.  Not once have I gone off on some power trip or lost control and I do not think my kids will be in jail because of it either.  headscratch.gif

post #19 of 54
I think you might need something a bit stronger than Advil....

500

flail.gifflail.gifflail.gif
Juuuuussssst Kidding laughing02.giflaughing02.giflaughing02.gif

But ouch..... 20 little kids..... Yeah.... Advil might really not cut it crackup.gif
post #20 of 54

Pam, I couldn't possibly agree more doll! The only kid i even remotely like is my nephew, and even then, only in small doses. All I can do is send you vibes...but I such as heck don't envy you at all. vibes.gif

post #21 of 54

Man! I feel for you! I don't like kids either, and there is no way I would be found in a situation with 20 screaming kids! My friends and family know better than to ask me because I've been very vocal about my low tolerance for kids.

 

If you don't want to go, don't. Just talk to your son or daughter about how you feel about being around that many young kids.  Or you can feign being sick. It is flu season ;)

 

post #22 of 54

I'm another nonfan of kids. Everyone  else in my family loves them. I can tolerate my Grand Niece, but then we live in different states.:). I hope you can find a way out of this.

post #23 of 54

My husband comes from a large family.  17 nieces and nephews. oldest is now 42 and youngest 22.  But there are 35+ plus 3 more due this spring.  At any one time during a gathering 10 can be in one place!  Not at my house thankfully.

 

I hope you don't get stuck watching the kids.

post #24 of 54

I'm not a fan of kids either. I remember being 12 yo and announcing I didn't want kids.....to which everyone replied "you'll change your mind when you meet someone". Well, I met him, and he didn't want kids either. A match made in heaven. I'm 38 now and there is no chance we will have children. And I am perfectly OK with that. 

 

Kids like me though, it is really weird. And I'm good with kids, heck, I have a degree in applied behavior analysis and worked extensively with kids with behavior disorders for a time. But, I don't like hanging out with them. 

 

I have a friend, same age as me, actually, she turns 39 in March and she has a 3 yo and a 13 week old. Just going to visit them exhausts me. I always schedule my visits so I can come home and take a nap after. However, I attend every birthday party, even the one at the Little Gym last year because it means something to my friend. Even though she knows it's torture for me, she knows I always make the effort to appear. Maybe not for long, but I do show, and I know she appreciates it. 

 

Oh, and the spanking thing....I was spanked, a lot and I turned out OK. Would I have spanked if I'd have had kids, probably not, but not everyone that was spanked ends up in jail. 

post #25 of 54
Quote:
Originally Posted by BlueRexBear View Post

 

As far as the birthday goes, I would go.  Most parents will not drop off a 6 year old.  I wouldn't even drop off my 8 year old.  



yeah.gif Most of the guests should have a parent present for the party, and if anybody is screaming or crying (sometimes there'll be one unhappy kid), the parent deals with it and/or removes the kid from the group. Cheering each other on during a sport is loud, period, whether it's adults or kids, but those are happy yells.

 

If group of people any age are all yelling and screaming, there's something very wrong, I wouldn't want to be around something like that, either. I've never been to a kid's party where the kids were screaming most of the time. Most kids fit into society pretty well. Sure they can be enthusiastic, but it's a party.

post #26 of 54

i'm 54 and never had kids and never wanted any, unless they have 4 legs, fur, tail or wings. people always thought me weird for not wantingthem but so what.

 

a girl i worked in retail with years ago had a boy and a girl. one day she said to me 'if i would've worked retail before i had kids i never would've had any. 

post #27 of 54

p.s. Difficult, annoying kids are usually innocents who are acting out against something they can't deal with; next time check out the parent(s). Remember also the kid might have a disability perhaps not being handled very well, again watch the parents' interactions with their child.

post #28 of 54

Have a Cafe mocha Valium vodka latte. laughing02.gif

 

I have 4 kids. I adore my kids. I live for my kids. I have about a NYC seconds worth of patience for OTHER peoples kids. I don't know why, but they irk me. They annoy me, and when they come to my house, they drive me nuts. I have 17 nieces and nephews. I can tolerate them for holidays. That's it. No, I don't want to take the kids to the park and play with them. Especially the younger ones.I would rather stick needles in my eyes during a root canal then herd a pack of them on a field trip. My youngest is 6, and I barely tolerate the playdates. I'd NEVER harm a child, and would probably do anything to help one. Just don't make me hang out with them-especially an entire gaggle of them.

I LOVE my older kids friends.They are like my own, they live here, and I feed them constantly, I drive them all over and I pick them up when they are sick and their parents can't. Ages 3-9, I just don't like them. LOL. Teenagers are FUN! They like cool stuff, I like cool stuff. It's all good.

 

I know why I don't like them, and that's because of Eric. He was a young demon i babysat for, who's parents though was the second coming of Christ. Walking on water, creating fish in the sea kind of kid. Let me tell you this: He was a DEMON. The second his parents went out for the night, the little freak physically and emotionally scarred me for life. Kicking, screaming, throwing things...I'm telling you-Satan would have behaved better and would have been more pleasant. 

Anyhow, 30 years later, I know he's in jail, a used car salesman, or a lawyer, and I am left with the nightmares. 

 

Anyhow, I'd go for the two hours, since it's not an every day thing. I'd tell the parents you want to bowl a bit yourself, and start a game with a few parents...who can herd their own children if they get out of line. Normally bowling parties are pretty good-they bowl and don't need much assistance with that, the food and cake is usually afterwards, then they go home. As far as parties, it's one of the less torturous ones. I'll pray for you. 

post #29 of 54
Quote:
Originally Posted by Willowy View Post

One reason I don't like parents. Always on a power trip, hitting their kids just because they can. I get that kids are frustrating, but maybe you should have grown up and developed some self-control before breeding? Civilized adults do not hit people. THOSE are the kids who end up in jail. I doubt there's one person in jail right now who was never spanked.


I think many people in jail are there because of a lack of discipline. Don't get me wrong-I really don't spank my kids, I believe my daughter got it only once in her life and my 11 year old son got it once from me. I don't believe in beating children, of course, but a slap on the butt can work wonders for some children's attitude. My daughter once told my husband that in school they told her that spanking is child abuse. He got the phone and asked her if she'd like to call CPS. She declined since she understands why she got the spanking, and agrees that she actually deserved it, and probably more. Beating is abuse, spanking is not. 

 

I was spanked, it taught me to respect my parents and older people in general. I do not break the law, I also have respect for authority, and I also resect and cherish my elders. (and I'm 45!!)Much of what is wrong with kids and young adults there days is a lack of respect for others. My house is not a democracy. My husband and myself are the adults, we pay the bills, we make the rules. My children do not challenge these facts simply because they understand and respect us, and they know their boundaries. I'll tell you what drives me absolutely NUTS-when a parent of a, lets say 8 year old treat that 8 year old like they are an adult, and an equal in a familial unit. Children are given parents for a reason, and an 8 year old is not an adult or a parent. I love my kids, but they are children. They are treated as such.

post #30 of 54

I don't really like other people's children all that much unless they give me a reason to. I don't automatically like kids, but if they are sweet and cute and well behaved I like them. I love my neices. I LOVE babies...what's not to love?!

 

I do get all googly eyed for babies, but we have been trying for almost 2 years so that could be why..lol..

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