How do I stop them fighting?

feralvr

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:yeah: Laurie said it just beautifully :hugs: :D ..... I couldn't agree more about the "stiff upper lip" Never when it comes to the kitties. You just have to let it out - just a little bit - good for the soul and the heart :heart3:. :alright: I also agree that there is absolutely no downside to any of this - all the way around. It is just so perfect for all. :nod: :hugs: I am sure Paddy will be the "old" boss lady and have an entourage around the barn. The other great thing here - is that she has some company next to her in the other crates :D AND she was walking around with her tail up all happy. AWWWW - she will be just fine :nod: :bigthumb:

AND LC :woohoo: Slowly but surely - she will venture out once again and feel happy and safe in her life at your farm - ONCE AGAIN!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :jump: :woo: I believe this was meant to be - because it all worked out SOOOOOO beautifully. A wonderful story in the life of Paddy - the adventure's continue and I think Paddy enjoys them. She is incredibly easy-going and flexible - we could all learn something from that kitty :heart3: :rub: I am glad that you will be able to see her from time to time also. Don't forget to keep us posted!!!!!!!!!!!!! :hugs: :heart4: :winkblue:
 
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dunnyboy69

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48 hours in, an update

- frowny face....heard from Carrie that Paddy is a little unsettled. Don't know any more detail than this but I'm guessing it's to be expected - after all, she's at a new place with new cats and, worst of all, she's cooped up (going back many months to when we got her, that was the shelter's biggest concern at the time - her 'cage angst'/ depression). I'm sure that as soon as she's allowed to run free, she'll be fine. I do dearly hope so.

- slightly concerned face ... about a week ago, I saw a black cat in the field at the back of the farm, about 50 yards in. It ran off, but I saw it again yesterday, albeit further back in the field. Here's hoping it's owned and just having a stroll. Got to say, he/ she looks a bag of bones. Push comes to shove, I have my trap, but no signs yet of it coming on to the farm for a nosebag

- slightly smiley face ... worked from home yesterday, saw LC feeding a couple of times, On the first occasion she ran away the moment she heard my voice (some 60ft away), on the second occasion I got to about 25ft away and had a good chat with her. I'll know she's out and about soon enough - the dead critters will be the tell-tale sign

- hugely smiley face...the RudiCat is thriving. He's re-acclimitised to the back door and utility door being open again and the extra attention he's getting. Yesterday evening he lay in the hallway near the entrance to the utility room for a good 15-20 minutes while I prepared tea. 'Twas only when I wandered over to say hello and fetch him a snack that his 'is he coming for fuss, or to lock me in?' mindset kicked in and then the coward in him got the better and he dashed outside. I've just this minute seen him dash into the lean-to - he obviously caught wind of LC. But unlike Paddy, he's not spoiling for a fight - the level of aggression isn't there.

bests
 

feralvr

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AW :hugs: I am sure this is NOT easy for Paddy - but this part of the integration process has to be done this way, unfortunately. I don't blame her as she is probably worried she will not get out of that cage anytime soon. But she will - and then I am sure she will settle in. 9 out of 10 times - they always do. It will be alright :alright:

OH dear - it sounds like you might have yet another stray in that black cat :nervous: Sometimes I wonder if these cat's have already been around and we just have yet to see them :dk:

Great news on seeing your little LC!!!!!!!!!!! :woohoo: She must be so happy now - realizing that Paddy is gone.... I know, bittersweet. It is never a sure thing when we add another kitty into the mix inside or outside for that matter. The social dynamics always have to work themselves out and sometimes the outcome is more negative than positive for some of the cat's. :sigh: Better for LC this way... and I am certain better for Paddy in the long run. Paddy will be fine - the hard part is right now, the initial days of confinement in the new home. :nod:

:woohoo: for RUDI :clap::clap::clap: Sounds like the little chap is having a wonderful time dashing to and fro :dash: :lol3: OH HAPPY DAYS!!!!!!!!!! :sun:
 

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Well, we were pretty sure Rudi and LC would thrive in Paddy's absence, which factored so heavily in the decision in the first place. :nod: SO glad to hear it's already helping them. :hugs: :rub: :heart3:

As to Padders.... poor baby. :rub: Of course she's not happy in that crate. Maybe they'll give her some supervised office time, and if she doesn't try to go anywhere, perhaps her confinement will be able to be a short one. We just don't want that girl trying to make her way "home." :cross: :paw:

:vibes: :vibes: :vibes: :vibes: :vibes: for Paddy during her adjusting and for her ULTIMATE happiness once she's out of that crate for good!

Thanks for keeping us posted. :hugs:
 
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dunnyboy69

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Result .... not only did LC just come out into the lean-to and have a good old mosey around, she also went for a little walk round by the side of the barn.

Rudi sound asleep in the workshop at the back of the property....the farm is all yours, my diminutive bovine!
 

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I am SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO darn happy, seriously so :lol3:. Isn't that just amazing how quickly LC is coming around again with Paddy. YES - you have your little diminutive bovine - little cow :lol3: :heart2: Wonderful update :clap2: :clap2: :clap2:
 
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An update - and it's a real mixed bag of news. Very positive on the Paddy front, a step or two backwards with LC and Rudi.

Paddy: have that she's started to settle. Most tellingly, she has now bonded with Dave (was Dangerous Dave, but he's calmed down!). Last week Carrie let the cats get to know one another. Part of this was having all the crates open in the securely locked office for some time every day. Apparently Dave has started hopping into Paddy's crate and they are grooming one another. Am sure her having a buddy must be a good sign. In a few days time, they will be allowed some exploration time.

Rudi/ LC: it was all good till yesterday. I hadn't been around much, so hadn't seen LC since Wednesday when she's had a really good wander around the farm. Rudi, on the other hand, had been back to (and even exceeding) his former loving best. Anyway, yesterday morning when I went out to feed the cats I heard a meowing from the lean-to and found Rudi in LC's barn. All this time I'd thought that he couldn't get in there and, of course, I was putting her wet food specifically in there to stop the big guy from getting to it (or so I thought!). Clearly, then, her safe space can be and has been violated, though I think she can get in and out of cracks in the barns that he can't. So as I see it there's no real point anymore having any of her food behind these closed doors. So I've brought her Happy Hutch out to the edge of the lean-to and placed her food in there. It's very much the arrangement we had about 6-9 months ago, pre-Paddy. It still means Rudi and her are fed in different places and, hopefully, she'll venture out soon to convince me that all is well.
 
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dunnyboy69

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I am such an unnecessary worrier sometimes....5 minutes after clast post, and within an hour of moving her feeding station, LC is out. Rudi is dozing, out of sight under a hedge about 15ft away but essentially behing a wall. She wandered out, checked the box over, had a little stroll and has gone back to her barn. Reconnaisance mission #1.....  
 

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An update - and it's a real mixed bag of news. Very positive on the Paddy front, a step or two backwards with LC and Rudi.

Paddy: have that she's started to settle. Most tellingly, she has now bonded with Dave (was Dangerous Dave, but he's calmed down!). Last week Carrie let the cats get to know one another. Part of this was having all the crates open in the securely locked office for some time every day. Apparently Dave has started hopping into Paddy's crate and they are grooming one another. Am sure her having a buddy must be a good sign. In a few days time, they will be allowed some exploration time.

Rudi/ LC: it was all good till yesterday. I hadn't been around much, so hadn't seen LC since Wednesday when she's had a really good wander around the farm. Rudi, on the other hand, had been back to (and even exceeding) his former loving best. Anyway, yesterday morning when I went out to feed the cats I heard a meowing from the lean-to and found Rudi in LC's barn. All this time I'd thought that he couldn't get in there and, of course, I was putting her wet food specifically in there to stop the big guy from getting to it (or so I thought!). Clearly, then, her safe space can be and has been violated, though I think she can get in and out of cracks in the barns that he can't. So as I see it there's no real point anymore having any of her food behind these closed doors. So I've brought her Happy Hutch out to the edge of the lean-to and placed her food in there. It's very much the arrangement we had about 6-9 months ago, pre-Paddy. It still means Rudi and her are fed in different places and, hopefully, she'll venture out soon to convince me that all is well.
UMMM :uuh: You had me a bit worried at the first - :shysmile: BUT NOW I am happy :D :clap::clap: SO very happy for Paddy and Dave :itslove: Dave doesn't sound so dangerous anymore. Leave it to Paddy to smooth out the rough edges :lol3:

:anon: I honestly never thought that LC's "barn" was completely off limits to Rudi. :lol3: I am not surprised that Rudi found a way in one way or another and now he is truly bummed out that you just noticed :rofl: Happy kitties now :D :D :D

I am such an unnecessary worrier sometimes....5 minutes after clast post, and within an hour of moving her feeding station, LC is out. Rudi is dozing, out of sight under a hedge about 15ft away but essentially behing a wall. She wandered out, checked the box over, had a little stroll and has gone back to her barn. Reconnaisance mission #1.....  
:flail: I guess her surveillance of the area has meet her approval. It must be wonderful to see her out and about again after so much time. :rub: :heart3:
 
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ldg

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Well, nothing like giving us a good scare! :flail:

:dance: :dance: :dance: and a :woohoo: for good measure!

It's ALL good! :clap: :clap: :clap: :D

...and well... at least you know Rudi can enter her space. But I'm thinking it may not matter that he can. Seems they get along in their fashion. :)

Just general :vibes: :vibes: :vibes: for the health and happiness of all three kitties!
 
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Time for an update...and I'll save the best for last:

Rudi: a wonderful, wonderful boy. He will be a piece of cake to bring in later this year when the weather worsens. He's spending quite a lot of time inside already - albeit safe in the knowledge that, a couple of rooms away, the back door is open. Back to his vocal and affectionate best is the big lad. He is much loved by his Dads (me and my brother) and returns the favour with knee-quivering headbutts, leg rubs and unconditional affection. Gone is the 'sullenness' that marked much of his behaviour while Paddy was here. He now knows that he is 'the special one'; we have about half a dozen names for him ... Rudi, Rudicat, Rudiger, the Dutchman, Big Lad, RVK, Billy Big Socks but, interestingly, the one he reacts to most is when I see wander into the courtyard or into the vegtable patch is the greeting 'hello my friend' - it's as if he knows the meaning!

Little Cow: well, a week ago I'd have said all positive news. I'd seen her out and about a-plenty, often in the courtyard. But a real setback last Sunday. I was doing some paperwork upstairs and saw her in the lean-to, preparing to come to her feeding station between the courtyard and the lean-to. Out of nowhere, she was ambushed by Rudi - Lord alone knows where he'd come from. She got away pretty sharply but I suspect a little damage was inflicted if not physically then definitely psychologically. Since then, she seems to have become more elusive - I've seen her once in daylight all week (peering out from under one of the neighbours parked cars in the lean-to) and once at about 10pm with my night vision. She'll definitely hang around and is a tough cookie but, until Rudi becomes a proper indoor kitty (though he'll be given some outside access once he's settled), i suspect she'll be the invisible cat.

Strays: definitely got one, maybe two around. Saw a b/w tuxedo kitty in the courtyard last Sunday: thought originally it was the big lad, but when I called it scarpered and I could see it was a bit smaller although had similar markings. Bugger, as we English say. Not seen since, hopefully it was just a bypasser (but I bet it isn't)

Paddy: had the message below yesterday. Truly brilliant - no emoticon can do it justice.

‘Hi, just thought I would let you know how Paddy is getting on. She has been out now since last weekend as one of our customers let her out by mistake. She went missing for 3 days but was spotted at points during the day around the yard so I wasn’t too worried. She now comes back every lunch time for a fuss and some food and then takes herself off. I am yet to discover where she sleeps at night but I can normally get an idea of where she’s been due to the dead mice I find around the farm! Will keep you posted on her new life here and again a very big thank you for allowing us to have Paddy as part of the very large four legged family here. Carrie & Neil’

Way to go, Paddy! I am so lucky to have found her such a caring and loving family so quickly.

Stay well and go well

DB
 

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:lol3: WELL - "Hello My Friend" (Rudi :lol2:) seems to be doing VERY VERY WELL :woohoo: I am certain that he will be happy to be indoors when the weather turns later in the Fall. Sounds like he is slowly acclimating himself to the indoor life a little bit at a time on his own :D

AWWW Poor LC.... the "pariah" it seems. I would not worry too much over Little Cow. After all, she really has a wonderful life with you on the farm. She manages herself quite well and I am sure is very happy there regardless of Rudi's advances. They have lived together for so long and are already well established together. :nod: :rub:

:jump: OHHHHH I am thrilled to hear that Paddy is doing so well too. PHEW!!!! I was worried when I read she disappeared for three days. BUT now that is behind her and I am sure she is there to stay and enjoy her wonderful life with Carrie and Neil. SUPER NEWS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :clap::clap:

OH BOY..... not surprised to hear about a few strays. Such is life on the farm. The stray cat's do find their way to us when they know a caring and kind caretaker is a constant food source :lol3: Guess it might be time for that trap again ??? I have mine out again too. Have seen the return of the BIG HUGE grey tomcat. The one who has avoided my trapping attempts for eighteen months now. I have not seen him in month's and now all of the sudden he has returned for food. Good luck and keep us posted on the new strays :vibes::vibes::vibes::vibes::vibes::vibes::vibes:
 
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He's spending quite a lot of time inside already - albeit safe in the knowledge that, a couple of rooms away, the back door is open.
:woohoo: :clap: :bigthumb: Aw, the lovebug is BACK!!!!!!! :D :D :D (Can you hear me BEAMING for you two? :lol3: ).

Aw LC..... Rudi will want to spend most of his time inside soon enough. He's just enjoying being the Big Man on Campus again, asserting control over his domain..... :heart3:

Sounds like our Little Cow is just a pariah kitty. She may blossom with Rudi's absence when he moves a bit more permanently indoors... but some cats are just that way. Our Spooky is, and overall it doesn't actually affect her happiness. She spends far more time under the couch or bed than the others, but like I said, she's overall a happy girl. I expect it's the same for LC. :nod:

As to Padders..... :lol3: :D :clap: Aw that is just BRILLIANT! They wanted a mouser - they got one! :lol3: She's got it all, doesn't she? She gets her meal, gets fussed over and loved on - and she obviously is really enjoying being a farm kitty now! Aw, I have to say it again - just brilliant! :D

Feels so nice to have all that worry be confirmed that you made the right decision, doesn't it? :hugs: :rub: :D
 
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hello all - about time for an update from England. We've just had the wettest April for 100 years, if anyone interested (but no-one is as interested in weather as English people, I believe ;-))

anyway:

Paddy - no news from Nottingham, so I'll just assume all's well. Hopefully going to see her some point this month - I wonder if she'll remember me?

Little Cow - blossoming. Despite the soggy weather, I've seen her plenty. She appears marginally less afraid of humans - I've noticed that, if I see her near her safe barns and I'm in the car, she doesn't run. What I've also realised is that, if I have a lie-in and put feed out a bit later than usual  -I usually feed between 7-8, but this slips at the weekend sometimes to 10 ish - she will sometimes sit in the lean-to and watch me prepare her food. I'd say she's back to where she was last summer and I've a feeling she's a very, very happy little girl

Strays - not seen any for weeks, and long may that continue

Rudi - ... is my friend. It's been a difficult few weeks here: two people very dear to me (one being my brother, the other my best friend) are in the throes of nervous breakdowns and this has meant my big, grey lump is becoming my rock (which surely is what big, grey lumps are? ;-)) Bless him, he sits and listens to me while I talk to him about my despair at these two wonderful, balanced family men gradually becoming self-absorbed and disappearing into dark, dark places. I may have to buy him a couch. At the moment, he has decided that the wendy house (where Paddy and Little Cow both lived in their early days here) is his favourite napping spot, and I love the way he knows and rotates all the best places for a cat to doss down on the farm! He's in the house plenty, too. Indeed last night I sat just inside the living room door and he wandered through and watched the telly with me with a wonderful puzzled look on his face. We then moved into our now established routine of him sitting with me on the floor in the hall for 10-15 minutes of petting - he just slumps down next to me, basically, and then gets up every minute or so to rub himself against me, headbutt me and then resume the slumped position and begin the dance again. When he's done he wanders outside, jumps on his box, makes ridiculous talky noises and gets a few treats. Fingers crossed, better weather is on the way. Once it comes, he can resume his position as our gardening assistant (he loves to sit with us while we dig and weed) and we can prepare properly for his permanent residence. I can't wait - he's been a bit of a life-reaffirmer.

So, all good news on the cat front. Hope the same with everyone here and trust all are well....as ever, when I pop on to this site 1-2 times a week, I come away smiling.
 

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I was wondering lately about your crew!!! Glad you popped in! Reading your updates ALWAYS makes us smile :D! Wow, you really have had a lot of rain and where I live we had the hottest March on record as well. Very odd weather in the world :hmm: Hopefully you will dry out and the kitties are no worse for wear.

I do hope you can visit Paddy soon. I am sure she will remember you! Of course, she will :rub: I think no news IS good news. :D :cross:

YAY for LC!!!!!! She seems so happy now and is making wonderful progress then. I find that if I am late serving breakfast to my feral cat's, they are always waiting in the wings too. Wondering, what has taken me so long. She sounds like she is feeling much more confident now and staying out in view. Wonderful update on LC!!! :bigthumb:

I am so very, very sorry to hear about your brother and your best friend. Both at the same time?! That is hard to take and the worry you must feel over both of them. :hugs: I think Rudi understands this and is trying to warm your heart a bit and lift your spirits. AND it sounds like it is working :nod: I am glad you have Rudi to talk to, and maybe a couch IS in order :flail: Rudi sounds like he is quite the character and I guess all of his talking back to you is his therapy :lol2: He will make a wonderful gardening assistant this summer. Thanks for the updates and I will keep you in my thoughts and prayers - for your brother and best friend. Life can be cruel and difficult to manage at times, that's for sure. :hugs: :vibes::vibes::vibes::vibes::vibes::vibes::vibes::vibes::vibes::vibes::vibes::vibes::vibes::vibes:
 
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dunnyboy69

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Another quick update, prompted by a trip up to Nottingham where I visited Paddy....

90% of the news is great, 10% is puzzling. She is clearly loved and doted on and has become known as Miss Paddy, as all the children who ride the horses at the stables where she lives don't understand why a female is called Paddy! I don't think she recognised me, but then she is literally overwhelmed by attention - I suspect 30-40 different people pet her every day! It is a wonderful life and I am thrilled. She's also shed all her winter fat and is no longer a right porker: I suspect that she was wolfing all the dry food I left out for Rudi and LC (who are both, in their very different ways, fine) and is now on a much more regimented 8am and 4pm feeding schedule. And they also aren't noticing her pee problem at all - though ironically Wobert is apparently not good on this front.

My only slight hesitation? Well, on walking across to the office where Paddy lives, I was chatting to Carrie and asked how Paddy was getting on with the boys - you may remember three 8-month old male kittens named Alfie, Wobert and Dave were adopted at the same time. Her answer was 'Great most of the time, but not good at the moment because she's in season and they are bothering her'. I immediately responded that she can't be in season as she's been done, and Carrie agreed with me that this was her belief too - however, their vet had told them that they felt Paddy was still having a 'cycle' of types that meant the boys - who have been neutered - were interested. However the vet did say she can't have babies. Must confess, I was a little taken aback. I've looked up things online and I'm guessing that it's either a) a load of old hokum or b) Paddy's spay wasn't completely done and they left a bit in there. I wouldn't be surprised by either explanation: Paddy came to me last August with a huge scar on her side, and I was told they'd had to do two incisions to spay her. The first year of her life is a mystery: we know she lived with one owner and then went - at 11 months - to a family who spotted her pee problem at about 13-14 months. She then came, with op scar, to the farm at 19 months (she's now 28 months). I am wondering - and this could all be conjecture and bogus science - if she had a litter in the first year of her life and it was that which caused her pee problem to start? Either way, I have no idea why the boys would be bothering her more at the moment (particularly as they've been done) - apparently no other cats are coming calling, and Paddy isn't showing any obvious cat in heat signs (although she did spend a good 5 minutes while I was there licking in and around her lady regions - not that I'm sure that's a sign, though?).

Anyway, she's in very good and loving hands. But if anyone has any ideas, would be interested to hear them!

best to all

DB
 

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Well, I missed an update (or two?) Either way, I'm just as pleased as punch to read about LC and Rudi! :clap: :clap: :clap: :D I'm so sorry about the family member melt-downs. Hopefully the sun has come out and that's helping everyone feel a little better. :cross: :vibes: I think we're in a record wet season here - we'll know if a few weeks. We're pretty darn good at obsessing about weather. :lol3:

As to Padders, well.... I'm just in LOVE with where she is. She must be SO happy with all that attention!!!!!! Cats are notoriously traitorous when rehomed, but of course being SO loved contributes to that. :lol3:

As to the spay.... I guess it could be that it was botched. But with the males neutered, why they'd be interested is beyond me. :dk:
 

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Gosh - that IS really baffling to me?? and odd that she had such trouble with her spay in the first place, two incisions!!!!!!!! . :dk: I think it is possible that something was missed. I wonder IF this could be the problem with her leakage issues too. AWW - could this possibly be the reason for her urinary issues :scratch:. There is no way she should show any signs of going into heat and the other male cats should not be interested in her. That tells me something went wrong with her spay surgery. I would suggest calling and talking with the place you got her from and explain what is going on. We certainly don't want Paddy going through these "half" heat cycles, you know? I guess your work with Paddy is not done, YET :lol3: I would hate to see her have another surgery - but maybe Carrie's vet could shed some light. Just some thoughts.... :think: Good luck and please let us know what comes of it. :cross: :vibes::vibes::vibes::vibes::vibes::vibes: Then her 90% good will become 100% good behavior :bigthumb: I am glad that she is so well loved though :rub: She certainly deserves it!!!! :hugs:
 
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Thanks for the posts, as ever.

Have done some checks, but I must confess I'm no closer to understanding. The society from whom I got Paddy have paperwork to show she was spayed. Moreover, I'm convinced of it, too: not only did she have the scar on her side to prove it when I got her (seemed to take ages for the fur to grow back fully), but when I think about it:

a) we never had a problem with male cats coming a-calling in the six months she was here...admittedly August - March isn't high season for going into season, but she'd surely have had a cycle or two here

b) and Rudi showed no interest in her - and he, like the older kittens as the stables, has been neutered

I can only put it down to older kitten high jinks. It's not like they are trying to have their way with her, from what I'm hearing, it's more that they are being nuisances! I'm thinking it's just the 3 brothers ganging up a little (and not in a bad way) on their new friend, perhaps just 'for play'.

Have asked to be kept in the loop.

Back here at the farm, the neighbours have decided to get a couple of chickens. In principle, absolutely fine with this (although have they cleared it with the property owner/ farmer? Er, no...). They are keeping them in their patio/ courtyard area, and they've got a cute little henhouse. The courtyard has a decent lattice-type fence (including chicken wire in most places), but I suspect a cat (or a fox) could scale it or get thorough without any bother. I must confess I am expecting to hear the worst before too long and am almost preparing my case - indeed, I said to them the other day that they should put a web camera on the courtyard as I'm convinced that a fox will come in and R & LC might end up taking the blame. I understand that cats and chicken often co-exist well - but it's a big old risk, isn't it?

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Fighting for ferals in NW NJ!
:nod: VERY good points about Padders at your place. I think you're right about what's going on. She definitely would have gone through a couple of heat cycles, if they existed.

As to the neighbors.... Um, yeah. If you can afford it, you might want to ask if YOU can put up webcams! :lol3: OR.... if something happens, maybe everyone could split the cost. :dk:

But we can just hope for the best!!!! Let's hope that fence is enough....... :cross: :vibes: :vibes: :vibes:
 
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