Does not like to cuddle

lovemycats2 · Feb 2, 2012

Tech Cat 2 is just over 1 year old. He is very bold. He does bite. He is a happy, friendly cat. He loves to run around and play with his toys. He enjoys sitting near us. However, when he's picked up he meows and snears to say he doesn't want to be held. He will not snuggle on our laps or anything. He is just fine with any other kind of interaction. He's just does not snuggle. So, we were thinking that maybe when he gets older that he might grow into it. Has anyone had experience with a nice kitty who just doesn't like to snuggle? He's so cute and sweet and looks like he would love to be held, but he is just super happy to keep a very close distance. Since he is content like this, I am learning that he is happy with just a few pets and he's fine. If there is any contact at all he prefers to bite playfully. He really, really, really preferrs to bite playfully. In fact, he will initiate play biting. "No Bites!" can be heard often. He-he. I guess I'm just wondering if he'll snuggle when he gets older.

rad65 · Feb 2, 2012

You just described how my cat acted for the first 6 months or so after I got him. He was friendly, loved playing and exploring and being near me, but disliked cuddling and being pet on his body. Then one day he came up to me sitting on the couch and laid down on my lap, no pretense made. He changed a lot after that, and now I can pet him all I want, he likes laying on my lap, and he doesn't grumble when I pick him up. He was about 2 years old when this started.

p3 and the king · Feb 3, 2012

Some cats just are not super cuddly or lap cats. Just like people they don't like to be held too close or for too long. It's just the personality. Not really a whole lot you can do about it either. Maybe you could try enticing him with treats? Have them in your hand and get him to stand in your lap while he eats them? Don't confine him, though. Maybe eventually he will feel comfortable enough to sit in your lap, maybe not.

presto · Feb 3, 2012

I have a rescue feral for almost a year now, and she won't even let me TOUCH her! She gets along with the other cats, likes to play, and eats well. On the other hand, my 3 year old boy is my tightest bond. He loves to sleep next to me, and cuddle on the couch. NONE of the four will allow being held, though.

If I were you, I would concentrate on establishing physical contact, but no holding. She may start to cuddle if she doesn't think you're going to pick her up the minute she comes to you!

momofmany · Feb 3, 2012

I have had cats that never snuggled with me their entire lives, and others that grew into snuggling as they got older. Some of them didn't like snuggling until they were 10 years old. Then I have some that never leave my side.

Every cat is different. If you want to encourage snuggling, try doing things like feeding them treats only when you are sitting down with a lap available. One of my non-snugglers learned to snuggle when I started to bribe him with licks from my ice cream bowl (no chocolate of course). I can now count him crawling into my lap every time I eat ice cream.

melesine · Feb 3, 2012

That is how Cooper is, he likes to lay nearby you and he sometimes will let you hold him but he isn't a snuggler and doesn't like to be petted too much. He was more snuggly when he was a kitten. Jackson on the other hand is a total snuggler. He gets on my desk and lays in my arms when I'm on the computer and snuggles under the covers in bed.

lovemycats2 · Feb 3, 2012

rad65 said:
You just described how my cat acted for the first 6 months or so after I got him. He was friendly, loved playing and exploring and being near me, but disliked cuddling and being pet on his body. Then one day he came up to me sitting on the couch and laid down on my lap, no pretense made. He changed a lot after that, and now I can pet him all I want, he likes laying on my lap, and he doesn't grumble when I pick him up. He was about 2 years old when this started.

Thank you. Yes they can suddenly change. We'll be waiting one more year and maybe we'll wake up to find him snuggled up or he'll jump up on one of our laps and offer warm tidings. Lol

lovemycats2 · Feb 3, 2012

P3 and The King said:
Some cats just are not super cuddly or lap cats. Just like people they don't like to be held too close or for too long. It's just the personality. Not really a whole lot you can do about it either. Maybe you could try enticing him with treats? Have them in your hand and get him to stand in your lap while he eats them? Don't confine him, though. Maybe eventually he will feel comfortable enough to sit in your lap, maybe not.

Yes, thank you. He's enticed with "Night-night treats" and then he bolts off to explore the night or curl up on the floor. We won't confine him, he gets to irritated and shows it. We've learned to give him his space. Other than that, he's happy to be with us everywhere we are. Just not too close.

lovemycats2 · Feb 3, 2012

Presto said:
I have a rescue feral for almost a year now, and she won't even let me TOUCH her! She gets along with the other cats, likes to play, and eats well. On the other hand, my 3 year old boy is my tightest bond. He loves to sleep next to me, and cuddle on the couch. NONE of the four will allow being held, though.

If I were you, I would concentrate on establishing physical contact, but no holding. She may start to cuddle if she doesn't think you're going to pick her up the minute she comes to you!

He-he. A couple pets is all he needs. He will purr his thanks deeply. After that he really perfers to bite. I'm not sure if it's his way of showing affection, but he bites too hard. He is a real sweety though; funny, playful, and loyal.

catbehaviors · Feb 3, 2012

After 4 years Wessie still is not a lap cat, or a cat that likes to be held. He does sleep on my bed though, and also lays on me when I am sleeping. Once in a while he also decides to sit on my lap out of the blue. It doesn't last very long, though. I have heard of cats that change as they get older, though!

lovemycats2 · Feb 3, 2012

Momofmany said:
I have had cats that never snuggled with me their entire lives, and others that grew into snuggling as they got older. Some of them didn't like snuggling until they were 10 years old. Then I have some that never leave my side.
Every cat is different. If you want to encourage snuggling, try doing things like feeding them treats only when you are sitting down with a lap available. One of my non-snugglers learned to snuggle when I started to bribe him with licks from my ice cream bowl (no chocolate of course). I can now count him crawling into my lap every time I eat ice cream.

I will keep trying. He's bribed with "Night-Night treats" before only after to spring off the bed and off to play. Yes, the chocolate would be no good, but I could try ice cream and see if he likes it. I nevere know with his taste. He likes watermelon and tomatos too which is different for a kitties usual taste .

lovemycats2 · Feb 3, 2012

Melesine said:
That is how Cooper is, he likes to lay nearby you and he sometimes will let you hold him but he isn't a snuggler and doesn't like to be petted too much. He was more snuggly when he was a kitten. Jackson on the other hand is a total snuggler. He gets on my desk and lays in my arms when I'm on the computer and snuggles under the covers in bed.

Yes, the other cat Tech Cat 1 is a snuggler. Not too close, but he doesn't mind sleeping under covers. Then, Jub who we recently lost in December was the biggest lover of all. He would never leave my side. He would have been a joined twin if he could have. Their personalities are so unique!

lovemycats2 · Feb 3, 2012

catbehaviors said:
After 4 years Wessie still is not a lap cat, or a cat that likes to be held. He does sleep on my bed though, and also lays on me when I am sleeping. Once in a while he also decides to sit on my lap out of the blue. It doesn't last very long, though. I have heard of cats that change as they get older, though!

Yes. We're waiting. We're hoping another year and then I can come back to this thread and say- He did it! And here's the picture to prove it! and show him snuggling. We will see. One thing about Tech Cat, though. He will sleep on the bed, on the other side when his Papa is with him. No snuggles though. If I come in he will launch off the bed. He has on rare occasion layed down in the bed when I am there.

Tech Cat 2 and I spend most of our time playing with lazers or toy mice. It's not like he avoids the family. He just doesn't like being extremely close. And if you pick him up, he will need to have his fur in perfect order when he is set down. If his fur is messed up at all, he will not do another thing until he licks it strait.

p3 and the king · Feb 3, 2012

My boy loves treats, too! Give him treats and he's your buddy forever!! I have him work for it, though. I put them in those puzzle toys. Other times, he eats them out of my hand, it's the only way he will eat them, if they are from me. Anyone else, he makes them put them down somewhere before he'll touch them. He's an occassional nipper, too... He gets worked up in play and forgets. I tell him "No no. Biting is NOT nice!" He promptly starts kissing where he just bit me and I tell him "Very good! Kisses are very nice!"

He's not a lap cat, either. He is a cuddler but on his own terms. AND, he doesn't like to be held while I am sitting down. If I am holding him, I have to be standing and it has to be like a baby! Yes, he's a spoiled brat! That is why his name is KING Arthur!!

lovemycats2 · Feb 4, 2012

P3 and The King said:
My boy loves treats, too! Give him treats and he's your buddy forever!! I have him work for it, though. I put them in those puzzle toys. Other times, he eats them out of my hand, it's the only way he will eat them, if they are from me. Anyone else, he makes them put them down somewhere before he'll touch them. He's an occassional nipper, too... He gets worked up in play and forgets. I tell him "No no. Biting is NOT nice!" He promptly starts kissing where he just bit me and I tell him "Very good! Kisses are very nice!"

He's not a lap cat, either. He is a cuddler but on his own terms. AND, he doesn't like to be held while I am sitting down. If I am holding him, I have to be standing and it has to be like a baby! Yes, he's a spoiled brat! That is why his name is KING Arthur!!

In an odd twist of events and ironically, he has slept close by now both last night and this evening during a nap. This is very unusual.

I am not sure whether or not it had anything to do with it, but last night spagetti sauce was being made in the pressure cooker for dinner. The pressure grew too high and the release gasket released the steam causing a loud hiss. Tech Cat was very concerned and did not like the noise as did none of us. I said to him, "Yes. That noise was loud and scary. I thought so too. But, that thing is not going to make that noise again." Anyhow, there he was and it may be too soon to assume that he has had a change from his regular demeanor and it is quite ironic that he has done this since.

Anyhow, he continues to get his night night treats and I have a neat game that we play with treats too. He follows the laser toy and chases it all over the house. When he is starting to get tired of chasing it I will place the light ending up upon a randomly placed treat and he will finish up by thinking that he caught it when he chases the light up to the treat.

brandy rowe · Feb 8, 2012

Hi!

My Mario is very affectionate, but hates to be picked up also. She has only sat in my lap maybe 3 times in her whole life and she's 12! And it was by her own accord, of course - she just climbed up there while I was watching tv. And once while I was lying in bed she climbed on me to sleep on my chest. Which surprised the dickens out of me!! Otherwise she is very affectionate - she likes so sit beside me on my computer chair and sleeps next to me at night - but picking her up is a big no no and she will let you and the whole world know it!

Her sister was a different story! My ex husband would walk around with her in his arms and turn her all which ways and she loved every minute!

Mario only bites if I'm petting her in my computer chair and she's beside me - I'm not really sure why! I'll be petting her and she'll play bite me, but it's not like we're really in position to play. So I usually take it as that she doesn't want to be petted. So I will stop, but then she does the 'pet me' motion where she stands up and sits down several times until I start petting her again. Very strange! I think she's just gotten into this weird habit now, even though it doesn't really make any sense to me!

Cats can be so strange!

bastetservant · Feb 8, 2012

Many cats are not cuddlers. It is there personality. Out of the 6 I have now, only two are real lap cats. Another will seek out my lap for a few minutes every few days. One sits by me a lot, but never on me.

But my oldest cat is only 8. In the past I have had cats get much cuddlier a they got older. But some never do.

The two cats I have who are big cuddlers I picked partly because of this quality.

Robin

lovemycats2 · Feb 8, 2012

Brandy Rowe said:
Hi!

My Mario is very affectionate, but hates to be picked up also. She has only sat in my lap maybe 3 times in her whole life and she's 12! And it was by her own accord, of course - she just climbed up there while I was watching tv. And once while I was lying in bed she climbed on me to sleep on my chest. Which surprised the dickens out of me!! Otherwise she is very affectionate - she likes so sit beside me on my computer chair and sleeps next to me at night - but picking her up is a big no no and she will let you and the whole world know it!

Her sister was a different story! My ex husband would walk around with her in his arms and turn her all which ways and she loved every minute!

Mario only bites if I'm petting her in my computer chair and she's beside me - I'm not really sure why! I'll be petting her and she'll play bite me, but it's not like we're really in position to play. So I usually take it as that she doesn't want to be petted. So I will stop, but then she does the 'pet me' motion where she stands up and sits down several times until I start petting her again. Very strange! I think she's just gotten into this weird habit now, even though it doesn't really make any sense to me!

Cats can be so strange!

That is sweet. The little darling wants to be petted so bad and she doesn't know how to say it. I bet she's happy that you understand what she is trying to communicate. Yes, they do love to sit by and on computers.

lovemycats2 · Feb 8, 2012

bastetservant said:
Many cats are not cuddlers. It is there personality. Out of the 6 I have now, only two are real lap cats. Another will seek out my lap for a few minutes every few days. One sits by me a lot, but never on me.
But my oldest cat is only 8. In the past I have had cats get much cuddlier a they got older. But some never do.
The two cats I have who are big cuddlers I picked partly because of this quality.
Robin

Yes I have one cuddler. I am happy to say that I have another cat, a girl on hold for adoption. :-) I'm supposed to pick her up on Friday. First I will need to bring what they call a scent rag to make sure that she will be happy living with Tech Cat 1. I guess if they hiss at the scent rag then they may squabble. She looks like the kitty in your avatar because she has the brown tabby spotted on her. Her belly, chest and chin are all white though. If things go well, I will be looking forward to announcing the good news.

As for Tech Cat 2, we jokingly refer to his non cuddling behavior as "playing hard to get".

brandy rowe · Feb 9, 2012

Lovemycats2 said:
I'm supposed to pick her up on Friday. First I will need to bring what they call a scent rag to make sure that she will be happy living with Tech Cat 1. I guess if they hiss at the scent rag then they may squabble.

That's interesting! I have to keep that in mind... I would love to give Mario a friend!

Does not like to cuddle

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