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Grieving or picking up on my stress?

post #1 of 2
2/1/12 at 12:24pm
Thread Starter 

We recently had to put one of our three cats down due to kidney cancer.  Its been two weeks and the humans in the house are dealing, but still sad at times.  Yesterday, I went and picked up the ashes (we had Bernard cremated) and when I got home I was overwhelmed and had a bit of a crying fit.  Last night and so far today my other male kitty Capone has been very restless and talkative.  He was like this for the first few days after Bernard passed.  Do you think this is just his way of grieving or do you think he is upset by my obvious stress?  Also, we didn't have the body to show to the other kitties, so I am not sure if they understand what has happened.  Is there anything I can do to help them understand and deal with this?

 

Thank you so much for any help you can offer.

 

Kari

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post #2 of 2
2/1/12 at 12:37pm

Hi ccbmom, I'm so sorry for your loss. hugs.gif

When you feel up to it (if you haven't already) you might want to consider posting a memorial in the Crossing the Bridge section.

 

It's very likely that Capone is doing both - picking up on your grief and stress and grieving himself. What I found worked when we lost our Cotton was to sit down and tell our other two what happenned, and to be very careful to keep thier schedule as as solid and consistent as possible. Cats are very routine-oriented creatures and keeping things as normal as possible for them will help ease the stress.

 

As for grief our Sybil was fine within a day, but Freya grieved for a few days immediately after losing him, then again when we brought the urn home. I showed her Cotton's urn and explained it to her and that seemed to help - let them sniff whatever the ashes are in. They can tell what it is. 

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