Blind depressed cat in difficult situation

crickets mom:  He is 10 and he would be happy staying in my room, in fact that is what he does. 

I saw this room for rent and it was perfect.  I wrote to, and became friends with the Husband... I lost the room, and got it back (long story).  I asked him about what my cats need and all he said was that we would work things out.  I moved in, signed the lease after being assured of everything that I was concerned about.  There were a couple issues after that with the animals (I think the start of Taz being sick) and so THEN I was given a list of house rules.  Now all these negative rules are from the wife, not from my friend.   He had intended on working things out I think, but they have an agreement that anything that has to do with household issues, she gets the last word.  She wants the litter boxes downstairs to keep the smell from being out here.  She doesn't like the smell of the litter I use itself.  Her rules are her rules, solid and firm, and I have tried.

Now I'm not sure why I had to explain because I have already tried to work things out with talking and compromising, but on this issue there doesn't to be a compromise.  She is supposed to be an animal lover, but not when it has to do with her house.  I want them to call their trusted vet and see what they say.   I need professionals to tell them what effect long term stress has on cats, and that they will starve enough to make themselves sick if they don't like the food, or if it's too stressful.  They won't listen to me.  I'm not even sure they would listen to websites.  (The food and litter are like 5 feet apart too).  They have had a lot of animals, probably more than me, but I have done the research on any problems I have had and their rules go against everything I know.

Tigger is about 10 and he's been sort of the slow lover not fighter cat most of his life.  He was garfield shaped, and now all his skin is just hanging under him. 

I guess if I can't figure out anything... I'm just going to let my ex have both of my remaining cats.  My little dog will be just fine with that.

These guys have been with me through a very rough year.  I have severe depression, and chronic pain and personal issues this last year have made it hell.  These guys are the only ones I can depend on, and they have saved my life a time or two.  They are part of me.  And I might have to give them up because someone is supposed to love animals won't budge because of keeping her *house* a certain way.  But if that is what it takes.....

So now that I have clarified my earlier post that the situation at this house will not change.  Any more suggestions to help him other than giving him up?

Sorry if I sound short and I am new here but I am still having trouble sleeping without my Tazzy, Kismet is acting a bit strange, and now with Tigger.  I'm not sleeping and I'm tired of having to clean up.  She doesn't even want my puppy pads in the bathroom which is where he usually goes ccause to Tigger that is where the litter box is supposed to be.  And food should be in the dining room of their cat castle.  Thanks for being patient.  Ask vets, ayone... I just need help.

I've tried that.  I am on disability and that is my other option is to find a new place.  They don't care, though I think they need the money.  I can go to assisted living but it will take time to find a place with an opening in the meantime tigger suffers and I clean up his messes every day.

I would never give him to a shelter.  My ex has agreed to take both cats, it will be giving up what is left of my heart, but he wil be somewhere familiar.  He won't get the love and attention I give him because they don't have as much time..... and his new girlfriend doesn't like him as much.  I am giving up both so t least the two of them can be companions.  Everything will be back to as he knows it and where.  If there are problems, he will call me and let me know.  I am hoping if I do move and find a place I will be able to take Tigger back and we will adjust together to a new and smaller place with just my chihuahua who he is used to and doesn't bother him.

I'm angry, and I'm frustrated and sad after having lost Tazzy.  These guys have been my best friends when I have been alone in a very horrible situation for thee past year.  They have saved my life and I owe it to them to do the best I can manage for them.  Even if it means giving them up.  But never, ever to a shelter.  I would live with them on the streets before I did that.

Thanks,

Jewel

I actually wanted to move here, and exchanged lots of e-mails with Tom and we were getting along well.  Even after they rented it to someone else, we still met and kept talking.  I honestly think he wanted me here because he thought it would be a place for me to first get out of the awful situation I was in, and Second because he thought this would be a good place for me to heal.  Everything seemed to perfect.  Well then the guy that had moved in on a trial basis pissed everyone off in like the first week he was there.  He didn't bathe since he had been there, and then there was evidence he had lice so he was out and I was in.  I had come to see the place with Chaos (my chihuahua) so we could see how he got on with the Big dogs.  Well he scared the German Shepard and the St. Barnard didn't know if he should run or bark back.  Chaos just barks a lot but he's getting better.  They all go outside together and it's kind of funny.

I had asked Tom about the cats because I know they are sensitive.  I said they had their own food, and were fed in their cat castle and that has to go in my room.  And he said we would figure it all out.  I think he meant it, and I think there are still things he doesn't agree with her about, but they did have a deal in their marriage and he isn't going to mess with that after 26 years.  So what she says goes.  She was teary about Tazzy, and couldn't watch me cry.  I see how she is with her boys, but I also know she is more of a dog person.  She loves Chaos.  Bt they have one cat who stays downstairs in the cat area.  Tom has a bed for her above his computer because it's warm and safe up there.  But she is terrified to come upstairs.  In fact I made friends with her and she is so sweet.  She was talking to me and following me around when I was looking for Tigger.  As soon as she heard anyone ccoming downstairs, she darted to her safe place.  No one has tried to make her safe to come up here.

I feel the same way you do about all of this.  It sucks.  And the only advice and my best choice is to send them both back to my ex.  At least it will start over with everything where it was and with someone they know.  He won't get as much loving and cuddles there, but Eric said he would do his best.  I will stay in touch too and make sure.  I may find another situation as well where I can take him back and let him adjust his way.

I am with my cats, in my room it's just that the litter box isn't here.   She has reasons she believes in, and she has a right to do so.  I take the blame because I was sort of blinded by other things and I did not ask enough questions and settled for the "we'll figure it out" answer when I shouldn't have.  They aren't insane, just believe their way.  Slamming them doesn't help me one bit.

I will be sendign them with my ex, and most likely looking for a place I can take Tigger back.  He won't give up Kismet, but that's fine, Tigger can get all my attention that he needs to settle in.  As long as I am there he is fine.  I know my cats, ever look and sound.  I know how to sooth them.  He will be ok with Eric because at least he is familiar.  I just didn't expect to lose all three because I didn't make things clear.  It's my responsibility to take care of them, not anyone ese's