Lost my Baby Girl Coco yesterday after a 12 day fight for life, invasive surgery etc no firm diagnos

Hello to everyone who has sadly lost a beloved pet, I have had cats for nearly 30 years and they have all, in their own individual ways brought me great happiness and joy, I lost my beloved cat, Tigger in November of 2011, she was 12, I waited until the following year and got another little cat, Crumble, who gave us two months of love until she sadly passed in her sleep on New Years Eve 2011, I know it was probably too soon, but, I saw an advertisement for a cross Persian kitten on New Years Day 2012, my daughter and myself went to see her and fell in love immediately. We bought her and fetched her home. She was scratching so I bathed her and the water was brown, I rubbed her with a white towel which came out covered in what looked like rust stains but, being a nurse myself, I knew that it was dried blood, I used a nit comb and removed over 100 live fleas, bathed her again and applied Frontline which is an approved vetinarian medication for fleas. The fleas were all removed and she was a beautiful little cat, like a little ball of fur, she had blue eyes and pure black fur, the man I bought her off stated that she was 14 weeks old. I took her to the vets on Tuesday the 3rd January for her initial injections and the vet stated that she was only 9 weeks old.

He examined her and said she was healthy and to return in 3 weeks for her booster. On Monday the 16th of January 2012, we rushed her to the vets as she had passed a large amount of faeces which contained fresh blood. She was kept in for two nights, given antibiotics and a preparation to improve her gastro intestinal health.

She continued to have the diarrhoea with blood in it so we took her back, the vet performed an investigatory operation on her abdomen which showed many lesions on her liver, intestines and kidneys and a tentative diagnosis of Feline Intestinal Peritonitis was given, tests were done and this was ruled out, then a test was done for Leaukaemia which came back negative, I took her for her check up at the vets on Friday the 27th of January 2012 where she was given a multi vitamin injection and a quarter of a 15 mg tablet of Mirtazapine which was supposed to increase her appetitie and a stool sample was given for testing.

She began to salivate excessively on Saturday, getting worse as the morning wore on so I rang the vets for advice and was told that it would be ok but if I was worried that there would be a vet on call all weekend.

She became very ill during the early hours of Sunday morning with a very rapid heart and respiratory rate, she could not stand and did not like to be touched, I made her comfortable and she snuggled in my arms and went to sleep. I slept with her and she woke me at 0500 that same morning with a change in her breathing pattern and a heart rate which was too rapid to count, I rang the vet who was reluctant to come out to the surgery which is a 30 mile round trip for us, I insisted that he did as I thought she was in pain, we got halfway to the surgery when she suddenly urinated herself, made a few meowing noises and died in my arms. When we got to the vets, he came out of the surgery, stood on the pavement and said it was probably for the best as she was so ill, we didn't even go into the surgery even though there was ice on the ground. We left totally devastated, heartbroken and wondering if we could have done more, she was such a beautiful little cat who fough so very hard to stay with us. I have to go to the vets today to sign the insurance forms and I am dreading it.

Sorry this has been such a long post but I just had to tell someone how I feel, I miss her so very much even though we only had her for a short time, when she first came to us, she was such a bright active little thing, so affectionate, always wanting cuddles and to be sat next to me or my husband, my mind is in turmoil, should I say I think it might have been a reaction to the Mirtazapine which, although rare, can happen. It is called Seratonin Syndrome and, I wish I had been told about it when we were given the drug as I would not have allowed it, I was prepared to hand feed her if necessary, I just don't know what to do for the best, I am consoled by the fact that she is at peace and with the Angels and our other cats but I am hurt and angry that this has happened, she had come through so much, when we thought it was FIP or Leaukaemia we thought that there would be no cure but those had been ruled out, I think I am just looking for a reason for why she died, any thoughts or similar experiences would be most gratefully received, God Bless my baby girl and all those of you out there who have sadly lost a beloved pet, it is heartbreaking, kindest regards, Cheryl (coco2012)

  Oh Cheryl, How tremendously sad.  My heart just aches for you.

I know the feeling of sudden death.  I lost Beeshee Marie less than 2 weeks ago.  She was only 2.  It is devestating to loose a kitty, but to loose them so very young.  I know you are shattered.

Like you, I take a small amount of comfort in the fact she is with the angels.  But that is tempered with the questions...those unanswered questions.  I guess I would say try to dwell on the fact of "where would she be if you had not stepped in."  My little girl would have died in the woods because she had an inherited heart problem, unknown to us.  You can only deal with the "known" with animals.  You did what you could and more for her with the knowledge you had.

Coco...what a cute name.  She was with you at the end, no better place than in your arms.  Familiar scent, voice and warmth to carry her to the next life.

God bless you and sweet Coco.  They are so beloved.  

Thank you for your kind reply, it is lovely to know that there are people out there who care and can empathise with those who have suffered loss, only those of us who have had pets and sadly lost them will know the sheer devastation and raw pain it causes. Sadly, there are many out there who just don't see animals in the same way, God Bless you for taking the time to read and reply so quickly, your words are a great comfort....Kindest regards, Cheryl

Tigger, Crumble, Coco

Oh my goodness, what a horrible time you've had!

Know that all your babies have crossed the Bridge safely, but they'll be waiting for you

Coco had such a short life, but she must have known how much you loved her and wished she could stay. My condolences. RIP, Coco,

Oh honey, I am so sorry   ! You did everything you could, don't try to second guess yourself and play the "what if" game. Its hard not to, I know, but it will just tear you up. You did everything you could for Coco at the time and that is what is important. Take some comfort in the fact that she knew she was loved and was in your arms up until her last breath. In her short life, she experienced the kind of love some cats never know in their entire lifetime. RIP sweet Coco   . She will be waiting for you at RB to give you purrs and headbutts and to thank you for everything you did for her. 

Thank you for your kind words, I was cleaning around yesterday just to keep busy and found one of her little balls under the sofa, sobbed like a baby for the rest of the day, I miss her so very very much, it is like  a physical pain, in her short life all she knew was pain, looking at her scarred little body when she passed was the most awful thing, she never even got to see the flowers or run free in the garden, it is so unfair, I loved her with all my heart, she was sent by the Angels to heal the hurt from the loss of Tigger and Crumble and, although I was only allowed to have her for a short time, she brought such love and joy into my life, God Blesss you for thinking of me,

Just notice your post, I live in England too, Hope, actually, in the Derbyshire Peak District, very very cold, forecast snow for the weekend, I promised Coco she would see the snow.....I take comfort in knowing that I did all I could to make her short life happy and I am sure she knew she was loved, even though I kept taking her to this strange place where people she didn't know would do awful things to her and cause her pain, I am so grateful for God to have allowed me the honour of having her in my life, she has taught me so much, nothing is more important than love, I would give everything I own to have her, Tigger and Crumble back, sleep safe baby girls, your heart broken Mummy

coco2012 said:

Thank you for your kind words, I was cleaning around yesterday just to keep busy and found one of her little balls under the sofa, sobbed like a baby for the rest of the day, I miss her so very very much, it is like  a physical pain, in her short life all she knew was pain, looking at her scarred little body when she passed was the most awful thing, she never even got to see the flowers or run free in the garden, it is so unfair, I loved her with all my heart, she was sent by the Angels to heal the hurt from the loss of Tigger and Crumble and, although I was only allowed to have her for a short time, she brought such love and joy into my life, God Blesss you for thinking of me,

Click to expand...

Oh I know ...those little things around the house.  I am crying just reading your post.  My two other kitties, Mom and Fetch were climbing the cat tree yesterday.  Little Beeshee Marie would always be up there batting them with her paws as they tried to get up with her...Like you, another piece of my shattered heart broke off.  I believe she is now seeing flowers and running free in a garden like no other.  At every turn, there is something new and lovely.  Others are there with her..Crumble and Tigger. Racing and jumping;  all healthy and full of life. 

One step at a time.  Your little girl is just over there, waiting for you someday.  What joy that day will bring you and your beloved friends.

Hello everyone, just a quick update, got the cheque from the insurance company last Thursday, had to go to the bank to pay it in and it hit me so hard, the girl behind the counter just asked if I was planning to do something nice with the money, £743, had to explain that it was an insurance payout for the sad loss of my little cat Coco, the total amount we spent on her was over £850 in only 13 days, but, I would have gladly given all that and more just to have her with me now..... The poor girl was so upset which of course set me off, the pain never leaves you does it? Just when you think it is becoming bearable, something else happens and it rips the wound open again....I know that the grieving process is unique to each of us but the raw pain is so great still, the if onlys are still going round and round in my head, I have lost beloved pets in the past but this is the most unbearable pain I have ever felt, she really was such a beautiful little thing, so sweet and trusting, all her short life, all she knew was pain but she gave me such affection, I would give everything I own just to have her back with me, could someone please tell me that this dreadful feeling will ease?

God Bless all of you out there who are feeling the same way after losing a beloved pet, it is the most awful feeling I have ever had. Thank you to all of you who took the time to read and reply to my previous posts, your words of comfort meant so much, Cheryl (coco2012)

Oh honey....I sure can relate to you.  My little 2 year old girl left us last month.  Something someone says...a picture....so many things trigger those tears.  I took a picture of Beeshee Marie and put it on the floor with her mom and brother. That way she is still close.

We hurt so because we love so.  The pain will lessen as time goes by.  But it will take a while.  I: wish there magic words for you.  For all of us who bear the burden. 

But think of all the people who know about your precious little one now.  She has touched so many people.  What I did once was donate to a local cat rescue in my lost kitties name. It helped to know something good came from my kitty being on this earth.

You are in  my prayers and thoughts.  Hang in there.  You are a wonderful person to have taken such good care of Coco.  She knows that.

God bless.

Thank you, your kind words mean an awful lot, I know it will take a long time before the pain of losing her lessens, I feel so pathetic and useless without her, I have never felt this bad before, where did that life go? She had so much to look forward to but all she had was pain, if I could have taken the pain for her I would, I think it has hit me hardest this time because she was so close to me when her soul left her scarred little body, that hurts too, the fact that she went through all those tests, all of which came back negative, and died with stitches still in her wound. The picture of her is engraved upon my mind and will be forever, all I want to do is talk about her but no one wants to listen, I know I can never bring her back and I also know that she is safe now with her friends, running free, no more pain, it is those of us who are left behind who suffer and I am sure she wouldn't want to see me as I am now, crying my eyes out, tired hurt and so utterly bewildered, sorry to sound so pathetic, I know there are many others who have gone through the pain of losing a precious pet and my heart goes out to all of them and to you, kindest regards, Cheryl

You can talk as much as you want about your little girl with us,  because we all know how precious our babies are

Do you have a picture of your babies so we can put a face to their names?

I am so sorry for your loss. It sounds like you helped her in every way you could. Sometimes things just happen anyways and we never do get any answers. She knows you loved her though and she was with you when she passed. Sometimes I think they are here with us to teach us something and we may not always know what it is, but they do

Rest in peace, little angel

I would love to see a photo of your girl if you want to share one.

To all the kind people who took the trouble to read and send messages of condolences following the sad loss of my beloved Coco, I have managed to upload a photo of her. not very good with computers but I hope that everyone can see what a beautiful little cat she was, thank you all for your kind messages of support, God Bless all of you out there who have lost a beloved pet, my heart goes out to you Cheryl
 

Have you put her in Fur pics because there's nothing here?

She is on my profile coco2012, Cheryl

Awwww and she's as cute as a button!!

Sweet little girl...just so cute.

What her life laked in length, was made up for in the depth of the love you have for her.  Some kitties live long, lonely lives.  Others like Coco are here a short time, but are so revered and cherrished.  If I was a kitty, I would choose the latter.

God bless.