Feliway doesn't seem like it worked and I'm frustrated

 

I think you're being impatient. Stop trying to pet Chance - let him come to you when he's ready. In the meantime, it can take Feliway a month before it fully works, but there are other things you can do as well. Are there treats that he really loves? Toss a few his way whenever you're in the room with him. And play therapy can work wonders! Engage him in some activity like chasing a wand or fishing rod type toy, or gently (no sudden jerky movements) throwing a pompom or toy mouse for him to pounce on. Give him time, he's still figuring everything out and that makes him unsure and lacking in confidence. Once he's more comfortable, I have no doubt he'll seek you out for pets. 
 

 

Some cats take quite a bit of work to come around. Be patient and don't give up on him, everything is still new. 

 

And, like sugarcatmom said, stop trying to pet him. Your hands are scary. They are threatening and intimidating to him. Let him initiate contact. Him getting on the bed is a great sign, reward him with kind words and treats.....pets are not rewards for him yet. 

 

Trust me, it will be worth the wait. 

How long have you had this cat? What I posted in my post Journey with Tigger the cat...I realized if I stuck out my fist he would come closer..then I opened my fingers over his head and pet him. Fingers look like long claws. I trapped this little feral boy..I kept him in a large cage for 2 weeks. It had a litter box, toys and food. Plus a carrier. I held the carrier open with a bungee cord. The carrier had a little blanket. When I first would come out he ran inside the carrier. If I had to change the litter box..I undid the bungee cord and used a stick to close the carrier with the kitty in it. Then afterwards I tied it open again. Over the few weeks I would pet him with the stick..and he got used to touch. Then upstairs to my office and a smaller cage for a week. Another week in the office with the door shut. Now he has full run of the house..it has been about 2 1/2 months. I would sit on my bed with a cat toy and that's how I got him to come closer. Now from time to time he gets on the bed to let me touch him. There is a method to all this. Feral cats are afraid of everything. Even now if there is something new..like I turned my bedroom fan on and he freaked out..he gets scared. What I have not been able to do just yet is when he is in a chair and I approach to pet him he runs away. I think since he is laying down I look WAY to big and he gets scared. What I would do is put him in the bathroom..with food and a litter box. I would take a book in there..maybe some cat treats and read..you can read softly to him..but let him get used to you. Without knowing all the facts my feeling is that you are way to impatient. Feral cats that are not cautious get eaten. All his survival skills tell him to stay away from you. Also do not look him in the eye..

Please be more patient. Feliway is not a cure-all by any stretch but it absolutely is helping him to feel safe. Just plugging in a feliway will not make a feral cat/kitten socialized or trusting to humans. It can take a very, very long time and lots of love and patience. As I suggested in your other thread - I would have confined Chance to a much smaller area so you could get much closer to him without him running off and hiding from you. Each time you try to reach for him - you are scaring him and when he runs to hide IF you follow and try to reach for him - the fear is just reinforced. I always confine a feral kitten to a room with no hiding places other than a small kitty cubby tent so I can easily, gently, slowly and quietly reach in and start to pet under the chin. It can take many, many weeks or months for them to come around. Some are quicker than other's. Turn off the clock and your expectations on how quickly he will allow petting. Good news is that he is playing with your feet on the bed. That is something ALSO remember that some cats just do not want to be pet or cuddled. My cat, Perkins, is that way. He is eighteen month's old and is now only finally allowing me to pet him. But he will still run if I walk up to him - he has to come to me on his own terms. I am fine with that and love him dearly. They are all so different and you have to be much more patient. I am sure in time Chance will start to trust you more. Building the trust is the foundation of your future relationship with him. Good LUCK

Feliway has never worked for me! Patience and preserverance will prevail in the long run and when it does its the most rewarding experience ever! How is he getting along with your other cat? Existing cats are a great tool for working with ferals especially if the two get along. I cant stess the importance of play enough. Chance will more than likely sit on the sidelines for quite some time but if you play with your other cat while he watches he will eventually come out and play too! Only use toys on a string b/c it is less threatning. Also give him some treats after playtime is over (even if he doesnt participate) and he will begin to understand that play is a good thing. 

Dinner time is also very important! I would sit closer and closer to one of my ferals while I fed her (wet food) In the beginning it is important to think of them as squirrels and sit as still as possible w/o moving or staring at him! Eventually she came up and let me pet her! We have been best friends ever since. Dont get me wrong I still had to move very slowly in the beginning or she would run a few feet away but now I can judge her behavior better. 

Just sitting still near him will help him feel more comfortable with you. Eventually he will come around but it has taken 9mths with my one ferals! She is still a little skiddish! 

 

True, Feliway dont works for all individuals. The big point is it never hurts to try Feliway. Only some money.  It will either help - or not. But it wont hurt.

Another point is, for many Feliway "kicks in" firstly after some time, at least one week.  While for others it works quicker.

 

That said, I agree entirely with others here. Feliway is NOT a remedicum for everything.  It may be a very good extra, not seldom tipping the scale, but the big work must be done by other means...   As described by other participants in this tread.

i brought home a pregnant stray that showed up in the parking lot where i feed other strays every night. i had petted her 2-3 times prior to trapping her. i put her in our spare bedroom and she had 4 kittens 1 week later. from the moment she was out of the trap she hissed at me. she stayed in that bedroom for 6 months. i'd go in there every day for a few hours, play with the kittens or just read. i never tried to force myself on her. then i slowly introduced her and the kittens to the other 4 cats in the house and slowly Gypsy started coming closer to me. now she sleeps next to me in bed at night belly-up because she loves to have her belly rubbed before i fall asleep. i still have my 4, Gypsy and the 4 kittens who are going to be 5 years old on 2/23.  it took a lot of patience but it was more tha worth it 

A lovely story Goonie.   And also a wonderful story of love.

 Tx a lot for sharing!

 

 

*vibes*