Non cat related but woman related...

I'm currently recovering from a breakup as the whole board knows..I've got something which has been bugging me for a long while but I'm not sure how to go about it. What makes a woman beautiful and confident? Is it her beautiful figure, her looks or whatever she has achieved on her own? I'm big and all..like what Tybalt says, to get back at them the best is to look good.. i'm not sure how to.. kinda dumb i know.. I've always seen european ladies looking really confident and all and I'm not sure what is it that makes them look confident.. let me know guys.. teach me how to...

Originally posted by kateang
I'm currently recovering from a breakup as the whole board knows..I've got something which has been bugging me for a long while but I'm not sure how to go about it. What makes a woman beautiful and confident? Is it her beautiful figure, her looks or whatever she has achieved on her own? I'm big and all..like what Tybalt says, to get back at them the best is to look good.. i'm not sure how to.. kinda dumb i know..

I've always seen european ladies looking really confident and all and I'm not sure what is it that makes them look confident.. let me know guys.. teach me how to...

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Oh dear it seems to me chuck that you have a confidence problem. I am sorry for the break up and the feelings that you will have experienced and I feel for you in respect of this - however, I feel that I should reply to your question from a male perspective point of view.

Men will always look at the hourglass figure in a young lady - we cannot help it - its the testosterone that does it, but that is not what gets most of us and I think that most women will agree. In this day and age, the in thing is to be wafer thin and I am afraid - its just not on. 99% of women will never have this figure and good for them. I could not take a lady to a restaraunt when all she ate was a few bits of leaves as was on a standing diet - I would feel out of place and not interested at all.

So, to answer your question, I admire and respect women 100 per cent. I work in a team with 7 of them and 4 blokes - me inc.
What makes a woman beautiful ? Its the size of her heart, its the way she smiles, looks after herself, its in her laugh and the abilty to make others laugh, its the way she holds herself and talks to others. Its the warmth of her personality, the way people feel comfortable with her prescence - I could go on but I think that now you have found yourself in all the above - you should start feeling better.

Its NOT in - the size of her breasts, the shape of her ass, its not what she has in the bank, its not the size of her house or car. Its not the tallness or shortness, its not in the way that she maybe thin, medium or large (if you excuse the expression, its not the size of her nose, shape of her mouth or the disabilty she may have or may not. Its not the glasses she wears or whatever. There again are more and I could go on and on.

You send me a recent photo of yourself to my email address of:

[email protected]

and I bet I can find an immediate 50 things that I could find attractive about you. However, even without the photo and knowing what I know of you I can name 100 without trying.

So stop worrying yourself, I am honestly nothing to fall in love with, however, my wife made me cry with laughter when I first met her, shake with terror and now and then - still has this affect on me. She says we laughed together and still do. I would rather have someone who smiles with me than not have anyone at all.

Now come on, its possibly time for work. Go and wash your face, dab on a drop of the old perfume, walk into the office with your head held high and you will find the confidence is back. Trust me, if this helps you - maybe you can do the same for me as I get that way a lot and its not worth it one bit.

My love and best wishes

Kev
who would be happy / honoured to have you as a friend even from here in the UK - what ever you are like - who cares????

OK, I'm gonna butt right in here, first off I applaud Kev, he is so right. Next, from the big woman perspective, I'll just say this, I'm 5'4" and 200- 210 lbs, I have never had worries over men, and that comes from being comfortable with who I am as a person, the shape doesn't matter, it's WHO you are. Be yourself no matter what others think. I've found that the less I care what others think, the less it matters to them, KNOW you are an attractive person, and you are. BELIEVE you are sexy, and you exude an aura that men find attractive because of your confidence,it ain't the box hon, it's the corn flakes...no matter how ya dress up the package it what's in it that matters....I'm gonna butt right back out now.

All women have men who adore their figures and looks. It doesn't matter how you look. It's what's in your head and heart. And even what's in your head doesn't always matter as long as you have a good heart.

Every day count all the good stuff about yourself and concentrate on that. Be proud of who you are and you will have that confidence. Every one has something good about them.

Big in in sweety, 5'9 and a a a -well ok 226lbs-- when I walk in the room people had better turn and look. I demand attention!!!! oh and every Wed night I cry a little, not for my(kinda) but more for the other people who haven't met me yet.
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I try and feel that way inside and alot of times it leaks through and people belive me to be strong. (this is where Wed night comes in handy)

I belive,dear, as with everything in life, your ego will return with time. ---It just a matter of how long Father time takes.=^,,^=

I don't agree with kev this time as far as chucking the confidence thing. Confidence is essential! And happiness with yourself no matter what size you are. The thing that will drive a man nuts the most (that has broken up with you), is when he sees you smiling all the time. Laughing and having fun. Stand tall with your head up. Put on some lipstick and dress for success! It drives them crazy when they think breaking up with you has been non-effective. Beauty is a strong, confident and happy woman who knows who she is. If you don't feel this then fake it till you make it! I learned this little trick in college (my major is social work). If you fake it long enough then eventually you'll believe it yourself. It's a bit of self prophecy. So smile BIG, stand straight/tall and look in the mirror and tell yourself (with a smile): "I'm a lovely woman who deserves the best!" Pretty soon everyone will believe it! Including you!!

Originally posted by mzjazz2u
I don't agree with kev this time as far as chucking the confidence thing.

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I think that you may have misinterpreted the chuck thing that I said.
In Yorkshire, we would say something like "pass me a ????? chuck" or "love" as we use that a heck of a lot. They are both Yorkshire terms and are not meant as anything wrong. I went to Canada some years ago and would walk up to a vendor of something and say something like " I'd like a coffee please chuck or I will have a coke please love" its just the strange way we speak over here!!! The Canadians all looked at me strange and it took me a week before my step sister told me why!!!! sorry if confused anyone...

I do however agree with you completely - I had to think what lippie was as if someone over here is getting lippie - then it means that they are getting verbally cheeky in what they are saying.

I cant help but lol at the way we all have different meanings for words and our local expressions! we Yorkshire folk are the worst I assure you. You ever hear me talk and most people struggle to understand us!
Have a great day.
Kev

Women get too hung up on their looks. I noticed that a lot of these replies start with physical descriptions - an indication that this is the first thing that folks judge women on. What makes me confident about myself is my intelligence, love for the underdog, compassion for animals, dry sense of humor, ability to ask for/negotiate what I want in life, respect for unigueness in everybody, strong/well formed opinions with the ability to see both sides of an argument, and open-mindedness. Basically, knowing who I am and what I am capable of makes me confident. What hinders my confidence is my sometimes dogged stubbornness. If people can't see past my looks, I have no use for them. Throw those people out of your life and get on with living it on your terms.

Just my opinion.....

Might as well weigh in with my two cents worth here...At 5'5" and 200 (or so) pounds, confidence can be hard to come by when all you see on tv and advertising is size 0 women. I gave up on the looks thing a long time ago, and found a man who loves me for who I am and not what I look like. I can do anything I want to do (and if I don't want to, I aint' gonna!), and have finally gotten to the point that I don't care what anyone thinks of me, as long as I like me for who I am and can say to myself when I go to bed at night that I tried to be true to myself today, nobody's opinion of my looks matters!BTW, I'm 34 years old and have been married for 13 of those, and it took me until last year to come to this point in my thoughts !

My husband said to me that he fell in love with my smile and the way I was talking and acting . Yes man look at a figure and that is normal , don't we woman do the same thing . My husband coworker got married a few month agao with a moman that is very over weight and has 5 children . They met at a chat room , then he visit her a few times and she lived in a different state . No neet to say that he did not married her for looks , he marrierd her for her inner beauty . And I think that is the fact , inner beauty . That comes with in yourself . No matter how you look or dress . Just be yourself that is importent .

Fake it till you make it! If you dont feel confident, fake it and no one will know the difference. Soon people will start to notice and want to be around you for the vibe you give out. Eventually you wont have to fake anything anymore, you will be a confident woman with a high self esteem with a great life and lots of friends. It works, really Give it a try. Just work hard for a goal, like 2 weeks. Every day tell yourself you are beautiful, pay attention to yourself and do little things to feel good.. a pedicure, manicure, a new nice smelling shampoo or something. Dress nice and comfortable, get a new pair of shoes. Anything that makes you feel good and beautiful. 2 weeks of telling yourself kind things and acting confident, successful and happy no matter how untrue you feel it is inside, at 2 weeks you will notice a difference and you will start to believe it

For me, the way a woman carries herself is what attracts me the most. It's in her manner, the way she talks and behaves. Looks matter to some degree, but not as much as you think. It's still the personality that keeps my interest. I've turned down dates with women who were considered "hot" by other people, but not by me. It's just not all about looks. Men and women of all shapes, sizes and behaviours fall in love. You have to be yourself and not be too bothered with with what makes other women beautiful. Learn to be more confident and realistic about what's best in you.

Sorry my post went double!

Excellent and very true words from Kev, hell even made me feel better about myself just from reading it!
And i can vouch for the Yorkshire thing, i'm from London in UK and i'm still a but slow on the uptake when it comes to the Northern accent!

Originally posted by JasmineCat
And i can vouch for the Yorkshire thing, i'm from London in UK and i'm still a but slow on the uptake when it comes to the Northern accent!

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Ayup lass, is thee takin t'mickey outus Yorkshire folk. we ave arr own langwidge up here in t'northern parts where is thats windy, t'ducks fly back-ards. At ome, we ave our whippetts, a coupla ferrets and I keep mi pipe an slippers nex ta back door. We know tha ours gobs are big, but we iz strong in t'body and thick in t'head and if anyone argues, thas ends up ded.
We goez up t'Ilkley Moor, tha knows the song ilkly moor by tat - well thee up ere invented it and thees proud of it.
Finally, if the Yorkshire lasses are owt to go by up ere, then our mate in thee east somewier is gonna be a stunna for sure...

Kev
enjoying himself and if you read the above - its how we sound to non Yorkies!

Originally posted by kev
I think that you may have misinterpreted the chuck thing that I said.
In Yorkshire, we would say something like "pass me a ????? chuck" or "love" as we use that a heck of a lot. They are both Yorkshire terms and are not meant as anything wrong. I went to Canada some years ago and would walk up to a vendor of something and say something like " I'd like a coffee please chuck or I will have a coke please love" its just the strange way we speak over here!!! The Canadians all looked at me strange and it took me a week before my step sister told me why!!!! sorry if confused anyone...

I do however agree with you completely - I had to think what lippie was as if someone over here is getting lippie - then it means that they are getting verbally cheeky in what they are saying.

I cant help but lol at the way we all have different meanings for words and our local expressions! we Yorkshire folk are the worst I assure you. You ever hear me talk and most people struggle to understand us!
Have a great day.
Kev

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Alrighy then, I did misunderstand! Me speak Americana Englizee! Here when you say "chuck" something it means forget it or throw it out the window!

Originally posted by kev
I think that you may have misinterpreted the chuck thing that I said.
In Yorkshire, we would say something like "pass me a ????? chuck" or "love" as we use that a heck of a lot. They are both Yorkshire terms and are not meant as anything wrong. I went to Canada some years ago and would walk up to a vendor of something and say something like " I'd like a coffee please chuck or I will have a coke please love" its just the strange way we speak over here!!! The Canadians all looked at me strange and it took me a week before my step sister told me why!!!! sorry if confused anyone...

I do however agree with you completely - I had to think what lippie was as if someone over here is getting lippie - then it means that they are getting verbally cheeky in what they are saying.

I cant help but lol at the way we all have different meanings for words and our local expressions! we Yorkshire folk are the worst I assure you. You ever hear me talk and most people struggle to understand us!
Have a great day.
Kev

Click to expand...

Alrighy then, I did misunderstand! Me speak Americana Englizee! Here when you say "chuck" something it means forget it or throw it out the window!

Originally posted by kev
I think that you may have misinterpreted the chuck thing that I said.
In Yorkshire, we would say something like "pass me a ????? chuck" or "love" as we use that a heck of a lot. They are both Yorkshire terms and are not meant as anything wrong. I went to Canada some years ago and would walk up to a vendor of something and say something like " I'd like a coffee please chuck or I will have a coke please love" its just the strange way we speak over here!!! The Canadians all looked at me strange and it took me a week before my step sister told me why!!!! sorry if confused anyone...

I do however agree with you completely - I had to think what lippie was as if someone over here is getting lippie - then it means that they are getting verbally cheeky in what they are saying.

I cant help but lol at the way we all have different meanings for words and our local expressions! we Yorkshire folk are the worst I assure you. You ever hear me talk and most people struggle to understand us!
Have a great day.
Kev

Click to expand...

Alrighy then, I did misunderstand! Me speak Americana Englizee! Here when you say "chuck" something it means forget it or throw it out the window!

ROFL!!!
That is just too funny Kev LOL
Ok did any Americans understand every little word??
If so, i salute you!