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our cat is a two person cat ONLY - will not have anything to do with anyone else.

post #1 of 8
Thread Starter 

we got our baby 3 years ago.  her mother was a feral cat that had 4 kittens at our house.  our beloved cat of 18 years had just died and we wanted to keep one of the kittens.  all 4 kittens even though their mother was a feral (could not even get close to her) were great kittens.  we found all of the other 3 good homes and we kept one.

she was very loving from the begining - for some reason she took up with me and only me for a long time.  she would not have anything to do with my wife.  over a period of time she warmed up to my wife and now she loves both of us.

the only problem is that she will not have anything to do with anyone else.  my niece loves cats and has tried many times to try to get our cat to warm up to her - no chance.  our cat hisses and tries to bite my neice if come too close.  as i stated she is very loving to me and my wife.  our cat also will not have anything to do with my sister-in-law (who loves cats) nor any of my grandchildren.

could this be because her mother was a feral?  or is it that she just does not like other people?

post #2 of 8
Hello, and welcome to TCS wavey.gif

I assume that the other people you mention -- your niece, SIL and grandchildren -- don't live with you? If your cat is hostile to them when they come to visit, that's common. Cats generally dislike strangers until they become used to them, and even though your cat may have "met" these people more than once, they are still essentially strangers to her. She doesn't know whether they're going to pet her or try to eat her. You and your wife, however, live with her, so you've already established trust over a long period of time. She knows you, so she isn't scared of you.

I don't think it has anything to do with her being feral at one point. I have two cats, Kramer and Boots, and they were both feral when they were babies. Kramer is the most stranger-friendly cat I've ever met. He LOVES guests and will not rest until he gets pets from them. Boots, on the other hand, only trusts me, and hides under the bed for a few hours whenever guests come over. Cats all have different personalities, just like people.

If I were you, I would tell your niece and grandchildren to stop trying to pet your cat when they come over. Let your cat come to them for pets, not the other way around. This will help establish greater trust between your cat and "strangers" in your home. smile.gif But realize that she may never be a greeter cat like Kramer, she may always act like Boots.
post #3 of 8

I'd have to agree with Katie. I've had Holland for over 3 years, and I'm the only person she will allow to touch her. I lived with my mom for about a year recently, along with my sister, BIL and their 3 kids. My nieces were the same way - they wanted to pet Holland but she would run away if they even made a move toward her. I constantly told them that they need to wait for Holland to come to them, but by the time I moved out they just hadn't spent enough time around each other for that to have happened.


Holland was brought to the shelter with her mom and littermates when she was 3 months old, and I have no idea if the mom was feral or not. They seem to have socialized Holland just fine, she just doesn't trust people who are not her mommy. Some cats are just like that.

post #4 of 8

Cats can be very loyal.  Whereas a dog tends to bond with the entire family, I have found that cats seem to pick one or 2 people to be their main focus of affection.  My Piper is very loyal.  I am the only person she really likes at all.  Not to say she is mean to guests, she isn't... But, she doesn't let anyone else pet or hold her.  She doesn't have anything to do with anyone else.  I am the moon and sun, as far as she is concerned!! 


My others are very loyal, too.  But they will be a little friendlier toward guests.  They may let you pet them and they will play with you but as far as cuddling and holding in any way, that is strictly reserved for me.  Phoebe is the friendliest of my clan.  She loves everyone. 

post #5 of 8
When a kitten was born to a feral mom, if they were socialized at an early age, their behavior towards people is up to their individual personality. All of my cats were born feral, and most will come up to any stranger in the house. Some will hide for a while, but it their personality that drives the behavior, not the circumstances of their birth.

If you socialize an older kitten or adult feral, there is a higher chance that they will only bond to their caregivers. I've socialized feral born cats as adults, and about half of those cats only bonded to me. The ones that didn't bond to others didn't show aggression, but rather fear (hiding under a bed when strangers are in the house).

If your cat likes treats, perhaps teaching your niece to remain calm around the cat and have her bribe her with treats. I've had some of my more shy ones warm up to kids through either bribery, or playing with a feather wand toy. It did surprise me when some of them bonded with one of my nieces in particular and wouldn't have anything to do with the others, even though they tried the same tactics.
post #6 of 8

I've had 4 cats in 30 years and from my experience most cats only really like the person or people who live with them or feed them.    Sometimes you get the cat who takes an odd like or dislike to a particular visitor but for the most part cats only like their owners.   My Rasta is scared and shy at first of strangers but warms up a bit after awhile but my Ricky doesn't like anyone but me and hisses at everyone else.   My Dads cat can't stand me and tries to bite if I try to pet him when I visit.   It may depend on if they small other animals on visitors as well.

post #7 of 8

I have 3 formal ferals. The 2 females love hubby and I and the male only me. None of them will come out if anyone comes over. The one female just started comming around my mom and I was shocked! 

post #8 of 8
Thread Starter 

it is strange - my mom came to visit a couple of years ago - she lives far away and does not get to visit very often.  our cat took up with her for some reason - she is the only person our cat has ever taken up with besides us.  mom is afraid of cats - she always has been but mom love our cat and the cat loves her for some odd reason.

i forgot to mention that in the beginning but mom is the only person our cat has ever had anything to do with.  she will not get close to anyone else.



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