I was unaware of what we got into to with a feral cat

Hello, I am new here.  Last month I decided after much thought to get a cat as a pet.  I figured a bit of an older cat was fine because most times if cared for they are all up to date with shots and spayed & neutered.  My daughter is 17 and works at a grocery store.  She asked a customer buying a lot of cat food if she knew of anyone who had a cat that needed a home.  She did and we got in touch with the woman.  I was totally and completely unaware of what we got into.  I haven't had a pet in many years.  We took home a 8-9 month old female calico cat.  I knew the cat had been rescued & I knew she had been born outside.  She was healthy, had all her shots etc. The woman who had her said she had the cat for 5 months.  I never actually put much thought into it, but I realized later the cat had been living outside for months.  I still wanted a pet for my kids.  I was told she was shy and liked the stay in the woman's closet, but she came out to greet her and eat in the morning.  I did talk to the lady for a bit and she told me that she knew she would come around with lots of love and attention.  When we got her home & took her out of her cage she took off like a bat out of hell.  I mean she ran at lightening speed.  She did allow us to touch her and pet her. She never bit, hissed or scratched.  She was so scared and found a spot on top of our microwave.  When we woke up the next morning she was nowhere to be found!  For days we didn't see her. She never came out to eat, or use the litter box.  Finally one morning the food was touched but she went the bathroom on our couch.  To our surprise 2 days later my daughter found her hiding in a very tiny spot in the top of her closet!  We put the litter box and food up there and there she has stayed for the last 2 weeks.  We moved some things around in the closet to give her more room but she has found another spot to hide in.  She has squeezed herself so tight on top of a milk crate in the closet.  So we took a milk crate down.  She was not happy and found another one to squeeze on top of.  It seems like she's so crammed in there but she seems okay. Maybe I'm worrying about more than the cat.  She does come out but only very late at night when my daughter is sleeping.  She eats, uses the litter box but quickly runs back to her hiding spot.  Last night my daughter said she felt her on her bed as she slept so she moved and just like that the cat ran away in the closet again.  

I felt terrible as we wanted a family pet and until today I had no IDEA what a feral cat was. I talked to someone from the animal shelter and she told me.  I thought we just had a scared cat on our hands.  Last week I also got a kitten for my kids because I felt so bad that they couldn't have a pet they actually got to see and interact with. I don't have the heart to confuse the poor cat and give her back so I decided to keep both cats anyways.  I'm hoping over time she will come around. Will she ever?  I mean she's as cute as anything, I go up there and talk to her in the closet sometimes but I don't get to close because she seems so scared.  

Honestly I probably would not have taken her in if I had known this to begin with. Please don't take that the wrong way.  I just wish I was educated a little bit about feral cats before hand.  Like I said I'm keeping her and I'm hoping over time she will come out. She never leaves the room, even when the door is open. She stays in her hiding spot.  Any advice on what to do?

Hi and welcome to the TCS site and our Forums!

Tx a lot for your will to adopt an rescued cat. Tx for you will to fight on!

Yes, I see you had run into difficulties!

Usually a rescued semiferal who is adopted out, is already fostered.  To adopt out to an well wishing but completely green family a cat who still lives in the closet, who is not ready yet, is not optimal.

You do read other treads, you will get a lot of ideas and impressions.

Essentially, I think you are doing a good job and you are thinking right.

Dont rush things. It usually does takes time.  Dont force yourself on her...  It is ok for her to be on her "safety spot" in her "safe room".

The fact of the cat being on your daughers bed when she was asleep is very promising.  

Does she uses her litter now?

It is probably a good idea you did took a sociale kitten as an extra cat. Not only for your kids, but it should be a help for her too.  When she sees you are friendly to another cat, and the cat interacting with you will be a positive example for her.  As the kitten is young, there shouldnt not be issues either for them two to be pals.

Make more hide spots & comfortable beds, like an sideturned cardboard box or a cat igloo.

Perhaps a high climbing tree (she seems to like to be high up).  You can probably make yourself a climbing tree of planks.

Another advice is you do set up a Feliway diffuser in her room.  It will spread feromones of well being and feeling safe, for cats.  Not very cheap but efficient.

Im sure others will fill in,  me too surely.

Good luck!  *vibes*

ps. you talking with her a lot in a friendly tone, perhaps even a little of baby talk, is very good.

both their moms, and friendly, courting toms, do talk much.

Another tip is to have soft, calm music on.   Classical harp music is best, but almost any, calm, soft music will do.

AWWWWWWWWWWWWW......................................... :heart3: Wow how INCREDIBLY kind of you (and your daughter!) to not return this poor, poor scared kitty!

As Stefan says, it was surely not an appropriate adoption, and I'm so sorry.

I'm short on time this morning, but there is absolutely no reason for this kitty not to come around with time. Yes, love, but basically the best way to show her love (right now) is with time. :heart3: As much time as she needs.

Things you can do right away for your closet kitty:

Purchase a Feliway plug-in. Plug it in somewhere near the closet, not near the litter box. It's like an air freshener but with no scent. It is a synthetic hormone that mimics the "friendly" markers in the scent glands in cats' cheeks. This will help reduce her stress, help her feel more calm.

If your daughter can stand it, and has a way to play music in her room, purchase harp music as Stefan suggests. This is VERY calming to feral cats. One of the best is this the Harp of Hope by Diane Schneider. There is also this one: http://www.catfaeries.com/music-for-cats.html

It is best just to let her hide and go at her own pace. Wonderful things to help her: don't try to interact. Talk as frequently as possible out loud, quietly, baby talk. Read a book out loud. When she does eventually venture out, it's best not to react. Looking at a feral cat directly in the eyes is a sign of aggression, best to look at her forehead or over the top of her head. Better yet, slowly close your eyes and open them - a slow blink is a communication of "no threat," of trust.

But for a kitty this scared, the less you attempt to interact, or when she does start to move around, the less anyone reacts when she does show signs of interest, the better. This helps build her trust and confidence that she is safe there.

She just needs time to feel safe, to understand that you (and your daughter, given that's the room she's chosen) don't want anything at all from her, and want to do nothing but take care of her needs. Once she "gets" that, the rest (playing, petting) will come. :rub: And given she's chosen your daughter's room, I'm guessing that it will be your daughter that will wind up with one of the most incredible bonds there is with this baby girl.

Bless you for doing this for her!

Hello and WELCOME!!! Totally agree with Stefan and Laurie above. Time, time and more time... I also agree with Laurie that your daughter will be the chosen person this kitty will bond with as she has chosen that room and is now venturing onto your daughter's bed at night to investigate the "sleeping monster" :lol3: as we like to call ourselves. These feral cats become terribly frightened when human's move about and especially stand up and move . Just spend loads of time with her and stay low and don't look her in the eyes. It is best for her to just stay in one room anyway right now - that way she will soon at least feel she has a place to call her own and then she can start trusting. The other kitten might help bring this one out of her shell a little bit too. It will be good for her to see your daughter holding and playing with the new kitten in her room. Make sure this new feral cat has been tested for FeLK/FIV and get a stool check done as well. I am sure she needs to be dewormed. It would be best to keep the new kitten separated until you have those tests done and deworming. The new kitten can certainly come into the room and play with your daughter - as I said - that will help the feral kitten become more interested and aware that you are truly cat lovers. Seeing the new kitten being relaxed and playing will help a lot. Just don't leave them together alone right now.

Bless you hearts for taking this cat in - she can be socialized - but will take much patience, love and time on your families part.