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My 2 Female cats suddenly started fighting - one rarely comes home anymore because of it.

post #1 of 7
Thread Starter 

I have 2 sister cats, coming up to 3 years of age and they've always been best friends. About 4 months ago one of them started wondering off and hardly ever comes home. When she does come home, it is clear she is extremely scared by her sister, who does keep cornering her and fighting. Also when she is home, she goes to one room in the house, stays there for about a day, then we won't see her again for another 3-4 days. She has also become really timid and scared with us now too when used to be such a friendly sociable cat. We had an older cat that died around the time she started to wonder off....It doesn't seem like this has anything to do with it but perhaps it could?


Why has this happened? Is there anything I can do? 



post #2 of 7

I'm confused... Are they outdoor cats or indoor cats?  Another question, are they spayed?  If not, that could be the problem.  If they are spayed, I would say that your one cat has won the alpha spot and the other does not agree with it and rather than live under the others paw, she chooses to leave.  I had this happen with two boys cats I had growing up.   Morris and Max were brothers and very close.  However, one day, they started fighting and it continued until eventually Max took off and we rarely saw him.  Then the day came when he left for good.  He didn't return until after Morris had been gone (passed away) for about a year.  We figured it was probably because the scent had worn off and he felt it was safe. 


You can try feliway or the Calming Collar.  But the feliway won't do much good for the other cat since she is leaving a lot.  The Calming Collar can help her more.  However, I would say you need to decide between indoor and outdoor if you want to keep them both.  Outdoors are really not safe for any cat.  So many dangers.  Mean kids, cars and predators just to name a few. 


I hope this helps you out.  I hope things work out.  Please keep us updated.

post #3 of 7

I'd have your cats checked by the vet. Usually, sudden behavior changes are caused by health issues. 


post #4 of 7
Originally Posted by yayi View Post

I'd have your cats checked by the vet. Usually, sudden behavior changes are caused by health issues. 




I definitely, agree with Yayi. Now, if the cats are found to be "medically" fit, I have a few comments. I own three female domestic cats, they all HATE each other. Two are indoor/outdoor and one is completely indoor. They will randomly fight with each other. While, the male domestic cats, I have owned, NEVER did that. The male domestic cats would have an "order". Like: Alpha, Betta, and so on.


Also, having worked with hundreds of cats, in shelters, across the USA, being a vetch, and being a foster caretaker, I have found female cats seem to just "hate" each other.

post #5 of 7

Cat Person, I have to respectfully disagree with you. I realize we can only speak from our own experiences though.  It just upsets me when people speak against one sex and in favor of another, that's all.  I have 3 female cats and they ADORE each other.  I've never had any problems.  1 is an alpha and another is a beta and so on.  They have a good relationship and bond.  Perhaps I am just lucky with that?  But, it has been my experience all my life that one sex isn't better than the other.  I have found all my life, with my own cats and in my voluteer work in shelters that you pretty much get the same results no matter what the sex.  The personalities play more of a role of how it will turn out.  2 dominants (alphas) usually will butt heads and not work out.  No matter what the sex.


I would rule out any medical reasons first. And there are ways around behavior problems.  It just a matter of how much you are willing to work to correct a problem most of the time. 

Edited by P3 and The King - 1/14/12 at 8:20pm
post #6 of 7

I have 2 females as will NOT leave the other alone....she stalkers her and pounces on here daily...I am at a loss thats why I came to see what more I can do...Its been going on 2 or more years...but winters are  the worst ...In good weather I tie out the aggessive one for some "fresh air"...this seems to help alittle..But I've tried alot of things ...nothing seems to work...the worst part is the aggressive one is triple the weight of one being attacked...I have never rehomed an animal b4 in my life..But this thought has been crossing my mind more and more..She also will go after the male cat I have but not often ...mostly the other female...any suggestions ?

post #7 of 7

I have my own opinions as well, sort of a mix of the comments so far here.


I have a cat rescue group, and my own personal cats.

First off, I wouldn't say either sex is a "better cat", but females do tend to be the more bossy of the two.

OP-your 2 females no longer know they are sisters, and the older they get, the more they feel they need to secure their position. Often it will be the smaller/weaker personalitied cat who gets the boot, so to speak.


It's extremely important for you to show the "underdog" that she belongs there too. Be sure to give her tons of attention, not allowing the other cat to interfere, but to watch.

There should also be a time out, where the bossy cat is closed in a room or space so the other cat has time to roam in the house without fear.

When the 2 are together, you should be a referee, and when you see the aggression, make a fast move towards this, say a stern "NO"!, slap your hands together once, even a stream type squirt with a water bottle if you must, then put the bossy cat in a room for a short time out.

This will not only show her this is not acceptable, but gives more power/confidence to your other cat.

They are very intelligent, it won't take long before things balance out, at least to the point of tolerating each other.


This is exactly what I had to do, my now 10 yr old cat Krissy, I got the very day she was born, she is my heart to say the least, and the very reason my eyes opened up to homeless/unloved/unwanted cats and the start of my successful rescue group. Because of the love for Krissy, more than 1,000 cats and kittens have forever homes, instead of killed at the shelter, hit by cars, killed by animals outdoors, etc.


About 4 1/2 yrs ago, I rescued an all white persian cat Simone. She stayed at my store for 3 months until her and I bonded and she wasn't afraid so much.

When I finally took her home, this gorgeous, feminine beauty pounced on Krissy immediately, along with any other cats near our yard, etc. It was clear she was used to fighting for what she needed.


It was so upsetting, my Krissy's secure place in my home was rocked, she became depressed, etc. and it hurt me something terrible. I did consider rehoming her, but Simone needed me too, so I figured this system out, had to do this for some time, but we now live in harmony, Krissy maintains her place even though Simone could clearly kick her you-know-what with no problem.

No, they don't like each other, but tolerate each other, which is all that I care about.

I do have to always stay aware of things like not allowing Simone to sleep in Krissy's spot on the bed, since Krissy will refuse to lay where she smells Simone, or the little control things that pop out occasionally, like one will be around the corner and waiting to jump out on the other, it sort of goes back and forth though.


You can control this behavior, but it does take consistency and some time.


I hear about Feliway, haven't tried this myself but my system didn't have the need for it.

Good luck to you and your kids!




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