Need advice on best way to get my feral in a carrier to her new home

Hi Lauren and everyone! I just wanted to send more good news that Liley is eating. She ate in front of Allison for the first time last night and came out to her but not quite all the way out from underneath the bed. Poor Alison, who by the way is an absolute ANGEL and I couldn't ask for a more wonderful mom to Liley, has been so worried about her because she hasn't been eating much if anything at all, but I continued to reassure her that Liley would begin eating it was just a matter of time. I told her that she will soon see what a wonderful and sweet kitty she really is. Allison is going to send me pics when she does venture out and if I could figure it out I'll post them on here. Thank you all for all your help! I feel like I can finally breathe a huge sigh of relief.

I replaced my profile pic of Liley....she's a beautiful girl and I never thought the day would come when she finally found someone who would love and care for her as I have.

Hi Judy Does that tell you how happy I am to hear this news!!!! :lol3: Seriously, this is just incredible and Allison IS A SAINT and I am even more elated for YOU because I don't think you could have found a better home for Liley. I am just beaming with smiles for Liley. I LOVE you avatar picture of her. She IS a gorgeous kitty :love: Will look forward to seeing pictures when Allison can get them for you. Liley will be making great strides towards a loving relationship with Allison. The worst is over Congratulations, Judy :heart3: You did GOOD

Thank you Lauren for all your support and confidence in me when I felt like I had none. I honestly don't think I could've gotten thru this whole ordeal w/o your support and wisdom! It was my very first adoption and I'm patting myself on the back because I didn't give up on myself, and especially stayed positive for Liley. Yes Allison is a Saint and I think Liley's Guardian Angel. It was so tough on me to finally "cut the cord" because I created such a strong bond w/her. I never thought in a million years I would be able to give her up, but I continued telling myself it's not about me it's all about them, and I couldn't be more ecstatic for Liley.

Judy M said:

but I continued telling myself it's not about me it's all about them, and I couldn't be more ecstatic for Liley.:blobturq: :blobgreen :blobyello

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ABSOLUTELY!!!!!!!!!!!!! It is something I had to learn over the years too - to allow my heart to ache for them - by doing the right thing - ultimately "letting" them go to that perfect home. And really, that perfect home rarely comes along and when it does - you have to go with it no matter how hard it is on your heart - because it IS all about them. AWWWWW Your the best, and you are so welcome, I am glad I was able to help you in some way - :lol3: I don't have all the answers but I certainly can always be supportive and sometimes that is all someone needs All the best to you, Judy

Hi! I thought I would update on Liley's progress. She's still hiding underneath the bed and only comes out for a few minutes while Allison and her husband are in the room now. Allison offered to drop off my carrier sometime soon after she happily reported that Liley was finally eating regularly. I offered to pick it up because I wanted to drop some of Liley's things off, toys and blankets, plus I said I would love to visit with her. Allison thought this might confuse her and she seemed concerned since Liley only comes out for a few minutes and they haven't really bonded with her yet. I didn't want to push it so I agreed that maybe it wasn't a good idea, but I just thought if Liley did see me she might come out more w/Allison and her husband in the room. Do you think she may be hesitant around Allison's husband? She was really bonding w/Allison and it sounded like from her email she's back to hiding again and seems more hesitant to come out. When my boyfriend was in the room Liley would never come out, just hid the entire time. I don't know maybe I'm reading too much into it. Somewhere in the back of my head I'm thinking they're going to call and say they're having a difficult time bonding w/her and it's not working out. I think Allison's husband may influence her decision if it did come to that, but never would I ever think Allison would give up on her. Does anyone have any thoughts or advice on this??? I'm afraid to say it but I'm starting to worry again.....

AW Judy . I do understand where Allison is coming from in not wanting you to come over and it is possible it might confuse Liley. BUT having said that, you did bring Liley to her house in the first place and it might really help if you were to go over there a couple of times and it might make Liley feel a little more safe. I really think there is no right or wrong here - but I don't think you going over there will make a huge difference in how Liley is relating to her new people. I really think Liley will be fine, with or without you going over to visit but it certainly will not hurt or cause the progress Allison has made to go away. You know..... I would just keep the communications going and stay neutral and just supportive through this process - like you are already doing . I know it is a worry for you :nod: but I think Allison is doing just fine. I do think her husband should spend time in that room too. Allison is already making a trusting relationship with Liley. Her husband has to realize that it could potentially take many weeks for Liley to even show herself to him - come out of hiding on her own. She may always be fearful of him - but I have seen cats fearful of men totally turn around once they realize there is a unfounded fear towards them and they will begin to relax. This could take a very long time and I just hope Allison's husband is fine with that. Just keep encouraging Allison to spend more time with Liley alone right now too, without her husband. Once Liley starts to comfortably come out for Allison - she will eventually come out to see Allison when the husband is in the room. :cross: Try to stay positive - I really think things will improve. This always happens..... a few steps forward and many backward.... then the steps forward in trusting begin to progress quickly and the steps backward less.

I agree Lauren! Allison knows Liley is improving everyday and it's a slow process, so she thinks she would feel more comfortable having me come over when Liley comes out more consistently. I'm definitely staying positive w/Allison about Liley. Allison reported she's coming out for longer periods now w/her in the room, but when she hears a noise or makes a sudden movement she runs back under the bed. I told her this happened alot w/me and not to worry too much about it. I was very vocal w/Liley and when I reassured her everything was ok she would come back to me and sometimes want her belly rubbed. She says she's making great progress though and still eating great. It was frustrating at times but once they begin to show they're trusting you and open up it's so rewarding.

I know that this WILL work out - day by day Liley will trust Allison more and more - just like she did with you. Allison is the "new you" as far as Liley is concerned :lol3: !!!!!!!!!!!! It IS so rewarding - this process - and SO worthwhile, the patience and time required to get these kitties to trust. Allison (and even her husband ) will have a very loving, loyal kitty :heart3: So glad to hear things are working out little by little.

I so hope you're right Lauren! It's so difficult to find the "special ones" homes and even more to find "special people" like us who love these kitties as much as we do  Continue keeping fingers and paws crossed and I'll continue updating Liley's progress. Thanks again you always say the perfect thing to ease my mind  I thought I would put another pic up of Liley. I love this one because it looks like she has a huge smile on her face. She always kept her eyes closed because the flash was to bright for her.

CUTENESS PATROL OMgosh - Judy - she is SOOOOOOOOO adorable. AWWWWW She is smiling :happy3: What a pretty girl - I am in love just seeing her picture :lol3: She is a ball of precious fluff and Allison is lucky to have her!!! :nod: Thanks for sharing this picture - I really appreciate it

Continued for continued progress that we KNOW will happen :bigwink:

She IS such a pretty girl. I had so many calls from people interested in her on Petfinder. I know the pretty ones seem to have a better chance of finding a home, but I think ALL kitties are pretty and wish everyone thought the same!

Judy M said:

She IS such a pretty girl.:lovegrin: I had so many calls from people interested in her on Petfinder. I know the pretty ones seem to have a better chance of finding a home, but I think ALL kitties are pretty and wish everyone thought the same!

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YOU GOT THAT RIGHT - I feel the exact same way. Unfortunately, people do "judge a cat by it's colors" and not what is inside....

Liley is becoming more courageous! Allison said she pawed under the door and meowed. It's the first time she's initiated attention. She went into the room and sat on the floor by the door and called her, and she actually came all the way across the room and spent about 10mins w/Allison without running back under the bed. It was a huge step! Allison is going to begin feeding Liley and her cat on either side of the door to get them started with the intros now that Liley will come close enough to the door. IShe's following the article Mary Anne wrote on successfully introducing cats. If anyone has any other suggestions from their experiences w/this that I can pass on to Allison to help things run smoothly I'd appreciate it!

LOVE the great news on Liley's progress I think feeding the two cat's behind closed doors is a great start, along with scent swapping and changing out beds. Give Liley's bed to Allisons other cat and bring in the other cat's bed for Liley. Allison will know when it is safe to let her cat visit in Liley's room. Just short visits initially. It may be quite awhile before Liley ventures out of her safe room. So Allison's other cat will have to come in Liley's room until Liley is much more secure in her new home. This might be a good thing for Liley meeting her new housemate. Hopefully the other cat will feel the same way :lol3:

I totally agree Lauren! I know Liley will take some time coming out of her room, and if Allison's cat responds well to her it might give Liley the courage to venture out. This happened when I introduced Liley and Sadie together. Once she became closer w/Sadie I noticed she became alot more confident. Thanks I'll pass the suggestions on to Allison and report back on how the girls are getting along!

YEP - I think Liley will be VERY open to making a new "kitty" friend. Let's just hope the other cat feels the same way :cross:. OH also wanted to suggest this. Rub a clean hand towel on each cat - very thoroughly - then place those towel's under the cat bowls as a place mat :nod: That way they will get each other's scent during mealtime as well. This will help very much!!!!

Hi Lauren! Sorry it took so long to get back to you. I was actually waitng w/anticipation for another update about Liley's progress and how she's getting along w/Allison's cat Daisy. So Liley is doing an amazing job! She's becoming more playful and actually ventured out of her safe room to explore the hallway, and even allowed Allison to play w/her. She's definitely becoming more comfortable and is seeking out attention by meowing to them to come see her. Allison has also allowed short visits w/Daisy in Liley's room and Liley seems very interested in Daisy and wants to make friends. Daisy remains unsure and when Liley approaches her she hisses. Daisy really likes to just watch Liley and Liley just plays and leaves Daisy alone. She said Daisy is still having trouble coming around to Liley. She is going to place one of Liley's blankets under Daisy's food bowl and also feed her some yummy wet food in Liley's room in the evening trying the positive association approach. I'm sure Daisy will come around to Liley eventually. It will just take some time. I think as long as Daisy isn't acting aggressive towards Liley it will all work itself out. Any other suggestions or advice? Allison is doing such a wonderful job w/both of them and absolutely loves Liley and says she's a total sweetheart!

Actually- I think thing's could not be going any better right now with Daisy and Liley. If hissing is all Daisy is doing - then we are ahead of the game here :lol3: Since Liley is not caring one bit about Daisy's hissing and is in no way responding negatively or positively - then Daisy will get over this quickly and realize that Liley is not threat - but a nice, interesting, fun friend to have around. Actually - sometimes these kitties can take many week's to even be in the same room - so thing's are going just super well in the intro department. AWWWWWWWWW I seriously am overjoyed at this news of Liley Allison is doing a fantastic job!!!!!!!!!! One more little tidbit to get Liley's scent on Daisy is to brush Liley for a bit..... then have Allison use the same brush and go and gently brush Daisy. Liley's hair will be in the brush and Liley's scent will be spread onto Daisy's coat. Then let Daisy sniff the brush AFTER Allison brushes Daisy. That way the brush will have both of the girl's smells on it and might be so rejected by Daisy .

I really think this is an amazing home for Liley. Judy, you did GOOD AND Daisy and Liley will become friends - according to Daisy's calendar though :lol3:

Hi Lauren! I thought I would update Liley and Daisy's progress. Allison has been on vacation so I haven't heard anything back until today. Liley has been doing amazing! While she still runs to the bedroom as her safe place most of the time, she's been roaming the house quite a bit. They leave the door open so she comes out and sits with Allison on the couch in the living room. What's very surprising is that Liley has actually become aggressive towards Daisy and is enforcing some dominance. It began with Daisy cornering Liley and not allowing her to come out of the bedroom and it seems Liley became tired of it. So now Liley will chase Daisy around the house, not in a violent way, but mostly to send a message to leave her alone. Liley wouldn't do anything w/my other fosters but maybe let out a little hiss. I just think this is the first time another female has been very bossy w/her and I'm actually happy she's displaying some confidence and standing her ground instead of cowering. According to Allison Daisy has always asserted her dominance w/every cat she's been around, and is one of the reasons why they've been hesitant about adopting another. There's much less hissing and growling though, and they sniff each other often which is great. They're just not quite friends yet, but I'm sure they'll get there!

By the way Cali aka houdini was adopted a few weeks ago by a wonderful retired couple. She's the most spoliled kitty I've ever seen! I joke with them and say that lucky girl has died and gone to heaven!