I feel terrible

Hubby and I used to share a house with a guy who was a real pain so we slept with our bedroom door shut.  Reilly stayed in our room and when he wanted out I let him out.  Just tell your hubby that the in and out of bed will be really good practice for when you have kids ;-) (that is if you even want to have them).

Could you put something in front of the door so it only opens enough for her to get in and out? 

 

When I lived at home my cats would paw to get in and out a few times a night.  I got so I could get up and let them in or out without missing a beat of my sleep.

Give Trout a chance in your room. You said she slept the whole night once before, maybe she'll do it again. Keep her favorite toys in your room with her. You could also bring her litter box in. Then she wouldn't have to leave your room. Had a box for Luna & Midnight's in my room when they where little kittens and not allowed in the rest of the house at night. I did that for

Lynxx when he was a kitten to. It would only be for a little while a couple of weeks or months, not forever.

LittleOne sleeps in our room with us all night with the door closed and she's fine. If you're worried about her making a mess, bring a litter box in. Bring some toys in if you think she will get bored (just no noisy toys lol). And maybe a bowl of water. Trout shouldn't have to be put in the basement...if she realizes she has all her comforts in the room she should be fine.

I would put a litter box and some food in your bedroom and keep Trout there the whole night ...

When I am at my parents, Parker stays in my room all night (he loves to go over our heads and make a lot of noise). I bring his litter box in my room and he is fine. He does protest occasionally to get out but I refuse, he eventually does give up and go to sleep.

Usually I sleep witht he door open but if I need to keep a cat isolated I keep the door shut with a litter box in htere. They are all fine with it. If you have a covered box you will probably not even hear or smell it if Trout uses it.

I"m glad she was able to stay with you throughout the night. I agree about putting a litter box and some crunchies in your room for her, if you want to keep the door shut. A finished basement still isn't the same as being able to sleep with Mom and Dad!

 

There's no way we can shut our bedroom door. When Banshee was alive, she would never allow a shut bedroom door, particularly if I was on the other side. Sometimes we could get away with bringing her into the bed with me and she would lie with me until it was time to get up. But even that was rare; she didn't like shut doors. And now....with Mollipop and Tabby, they don't want to be shut out either, so we've given up.

Why not just install a cat door in the door?

I was going to suggest the pet door as well.  So far as resale feature, you can always just replace the door if you decide to sell the house.

Also, I can totally understand your husband's need for privacy when someone else is in the house.  However, privacy goes out the window when you have kids. When you have a toddler in the house that needs to get to mommy and daddy, but are too little to open the door, you'll need to keep your door unlocked and open to allow them access.

 

Have you explored setting up a private area in basement for your brother to sleep? You said it is a finished basement.  Being an adult, he would probably like the added privacy that having a room far from you and your husband, would afford him. He would be able to come and go more easily without the worry of waking you both up, and you wouldn't have to worry about "doing the deed" with your brother in the next room.

 

seems a good advice....