Should I be feeling this guilty?

Okay, my boyfriend sat down and did our finances a week ago and told me that we had enough for each of us to spend $150 each on presents or clothes for ourselves.

Well I decided the spend my $150 on some much needed clothes.     I decided this because I'm making everyone's christmas presents and besides possibly buying one more skein of yarn for one of the projects, I have pretty much all I need to make everything now so I don't really need the money.   Well I was thinking, I could buy extra stuff but I got to thinking that I graduated high school in 2006, I don't think I've gotten myself any new clothes except maybe 3 pairs of work clothes and a pair of jeans since I graduated. Needless to say, I've been long overdue for some clothes especially since my style has matured since highschool so I rarely feel like wearing graphic tees all the time. This being so I decided the money would be better spent on some new clothes for me. Yesterday I went shopping for clothes and I thought I made out pretty well.  I stayed under my budget, mainly due to not being able to find a pair of jeans that looked good. For $121, I made out with 9 shirts which can be mixed and matched in various combinations. If I would have known I wouldn't have found a pair a jeans I would have probably used the rest of my budget but overall I'm extremely happy with what I managed to get for the price. I also tried to find a pair of leather(faux leather) gloves for my boyfriend's christmast present since last year he drove off with them on the roof of his car but as much as a surprise it was to me, no stores in the area had any. There was one pair that was a maybe but since they were leather, I was sure if he'd like them or not so I decided not to get them.

Well here's the problem, now I'm feeling guilty about spending the money on myself. I know I'm making everyone's presents which means they'll be all the more special to the receipients but I guess since most people tend to spend a lot of money on christmas presents I guess I feel like I'm being cheap or something. I know no one is going to feel like that but I can't help feeling guilty about spending the money on myself even though I was in desperate need of clothes.

Oh just so you guys get the idea the effort I'm putting into everyone's presents this year, here's what I'm doing I'm knitting fingerless mittens for the girls, each different pair a different color and various length to fit the person. For my boyfriend, his step-dad, and my dad, I'm hand making leather charms to hang on their rearveiw mirrors, one of a x-box360 controller, a '69 Dogde Charger and a plane (don't have the type of plane on me right now sorry.)  Finally for another present for a grandparent, a leather Tabby Cat mask. 

So what do you guys think?  Should I have spent the money on presents even though I'm making everyone's gifts this year and am I righteously guilty or am I getting worked up over nothing?

To be honest I would feel guilty too...but you had already planned to make everyone's gifts before you found out you had the money and it sounds like you've been putting a lot of effort into these gifts. I don't think you should feel bad.

If you needed clothes, you needed clothes. What can ya do? I think its special you're hand making everything...and I am sure everyone will be really appreciative. 

 

I get buyers guilt constantly. I go get groceries and I feel guilty so if I were in your shoes yeah I would feel guilty. But there is a difference between your shopping and willy nilly shopping. Yours was like my birthday shopping. Completely warranted. I spent over $300 on clothes for myself and within five minutes of checking out I felt horrible but it was my first time buying clothes in about four years.

I too make our Christmas presents and we will have some extra money next week. I am buying groceries not shopping for people. I won't feel bad at all because we need the groceries they don't need extra presents from us especially since I made all the presents with very high quality yarn and is customized to each person by style and color. Imo if they don't appreciate that then poo on them.

You know what? You have a job. And you work hard for your money. Treat yourself. We're all entitled once in a while to do something just for us. You shouldn't feel badly one bit. And Tyler, neither should you. You're a SAHM and you work hard, too.

Rick has often told me that I don't spend nearly enough on clothes for work (we're only allowed to wear jeans on Friday; the rest of the time it's casual work clothing). But I'm like you....whenever I do, I feel guilty about spending money on myself. A few weeks ago, I did splurge a bit and bought some work clothing. But I'm always very careful to find good sales and a good value for my money.

As for making gifts, I think that's wonderful. You and Tyler amaze me with everything you can do. There are a lot of people on this board who amaze me with the things they do!

Here's the thing hun. It's YOUR money! You can do whatever you want to with it and shouldn't feel guilty one bit! It's not like you aren't thinking of your loved ones, you are making them special, handmade gifts. Enjoy your new clothes.

You should NOT feel guilty. You haven't gotten any new clothes since 2006? You deserve it!

A home made gift is MUCH better. It does not matter how much you spend on a gift but the thought behind it. If someone is disappointed because you didn't spend big $$, then that is THEIR problem not yours.

You have nothing to feel guilty about!

Christmas is far too commercialized, and the fact that people feel ashamed for giving home made gifts, or guilt for not having spent more money on gifts, is such a shame. The true meaning of Christmas has completely been lost.

Christmas is about friends and family and if you are religious, celebrating the birth of Jesus.  It's not about how much money you spend or how much money was spent on you.

Enjoy your lovely clothing, and don't feel at all bad for having purchased it for yourself.

Well said Natalie_ca. I know I am not getting anything for Christmas this year because my family is struggling...but thats ok. I am happy that we are spending it together...and having dinner at my sisters, whom I have never actually had a Christmas with yet. Seeing the lights on the houses and seeing people come together is what makes it special.

Besides, you can't beat a good homemade gift! 

I agree, there is nothing to feel guilty about. You needed clothes so you spent money on them. It's not like went and bought a diamond watch that you didn't need just because you wanted it. Clothes are something we kinda need to be able to function outside our homes. 

But, I understand where your coming from...I HATE to spend money on myself. I'm down to 2 pairs of jeans I can wear to work cause the rest are thread bare and have holes (thank god our dress code is casual 99.9% of the time..we only have to wear dress clothes when the bigwigs come up twice a year). Even if we have the money I feel guilty spending it on myself. 

BUT, the difference is you spent money making those gifts. Believe me, I know the materials needed for them is NOT cheap. You can't put a price on the time and love put in to them. Don't feel guilty for getting something you need. Let me put it this way, if you had to chose between buying Christmas gifts (when you already had some) and getting a new washer, which would it be?

Whoo, if I knew I would have had this many responses I would have checked earlier today instead of waiting til I got to work.   Thanks everyone! You guys have made me feel a whole lot better about the clothes. 
 

Catkiki said:

You should NOT feel guilty. You haven't gotten any new clothes since 2006? You deserve it!

A home made gift is MUCH better. It does not matter how much you spend on a gift but the thought behind it. If someone is disappointed because you didn't spend big $$, then that is THEIR problem not yours.

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I almost feel ashamed to admit that its been that long. I think last year, while I was at my previous job, I spent the money I got as my holiday bonus on 2 work outfits because at that point I had only like 2 outfits I could wear to work and then a pair of jeans if I remember right but besides that I can't remember getting anything else since highschool.

 

calico2222 said:

I agree, there is nothing to feel guilty about. You needed clothes so you spent money on them. It's not like went and bought a diamond watch that you didn't need just because you wanted it. Clothes are something we kinda need to be able to function outside our homes. 

But, I understand where your coming from...I HATE to spend money on myself. I'm down to 2 pairs of jeans I can wear to work cause the rest are thread bare and have holes (thank god our dress code is casual 99.9% of the time..we only have to wear dress clothes when the bigwigs come up twice a year). Even if we have the money I feel guilty spending it on myself. 

BUT, the difference is you spent money making those gifts. Believe me, I know the materials needed for them is NOT cheap. You can't put a price on the time and love put in to them. Don't feel guilty for getting something you need. Let me put it this way, if you had to chose between buying Christmas gifts (when you already had some) and getting a new washer, which would it be?

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lol I wish I could wear jeans at work...of course most of them don't fit me anymore -_- but besides that they're in great condition so I just need to loose a few pounds then I'll have quite a few pairs of jeans.

I know, I've just started knitting about 2 months ago so I've I had to spend a lot of money just getting the basics. I had one pair of knitting needles that a foreign exchange student didn't want to take back to Germany with her but besides that I had nothing. I haven't tallied up how much I've spent on supplies but I'm sure its more that what I had expected to spend on things.

Winchester said:

You know what? You have a job. And you work hard for your money. Treat yourself. We're all entitled once in a while to do something just for us. You shouldn't feel badly one bit. And Tyler, neither should you. You're a SAHM and you work hard, too.

Rick has often told me that I don't spend nearly enough on clothes for work (we're only allowed to wear jeans on Friday; the rest of the time it's casual work clothing). But I'm like you....whenever I do, I feel guilty about spending money on myself. A few weeks ago, I did splurge a bit and bought some work clothing. But I'm always very careful to find good sales and a good value for my money.

As for making gifts, I think that's wonderful. You and Tyler amaze me with everything you can do. There are a lot of people on this board who amaze me with the things they do!

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I know, I always try to get good deals on clothing. There's a girl that works weekday mornings and she was going spend $180 on one pair of jeans...I about had a stroke. I told her that I could get 3 or 4 pairs of jeans for that much and she looked at me like I was the crazy one!  Unless I was filthy stinkin rich, I would never spend that much money on a pair of jeans....I don't even think I spent that much on prom dresses in highschool....I'm talking both junior and senior prom dresses combined.   I
 

3CatsN1Dog said:

I get buyers guilt constantly. I go get groceries and I feel guilty so if I were in your shoes yeah I would feel guilty. But there is a difference between your shopping and willy nilly shopping. Yours was like my birthday shopping. Completely warranted. I spent over $300 on clothes for myself and within five minutes of checking out I felt horrible but it was my first time buying clothes in about four years.
I too make our Christmas presents and we will have some extra money next week. I am buying groceries not shopping for people. I won't feel bad at all because we need the groceries they don't need extra presents from us especially since I made all the presents with very high quality yarn and is customized to each person by style and color. Imo if they don't appreciate that then poo on them.

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haha, when I was at the store, I made sure I tried everything on and then when I got home I tore off all the tags right away because I knew if I left the tags on them for any amount of time, I'd probably would have taken them all back due to guilt. But really in a way, despite the guilt I feel about spending the money on myself, I actually feel much better than I have been.  I've been ridiculously depressed lately and even though the shopping totally exhausted me, I was like "yaay now I actually have things I'll want to wear!"

I only used medium quality yarn for most of my presents mainly because I've been so broke but I did splurge on some 100% wool yarn for the felted coin purses I'm going to make.  Of course if I would have known a month or two ago about have the money, I probably would have used it on materials...of course if I waited til now it would def. be to late to be able to finish everything on time.  I think the only person I have to worry about them appreciated the gift is going to be may boyfriend's little sister...she's a little materialistic and spoiled. She's a good kid but she tends to turn her nose up at things that don't meet her expectations and she's usually pretty obvious when she's not happy.

I have always preferred home made gifts.  The best gift one can give is the gift of time.

And honestly, I would love to get a pair of home made fingerless gloves.

MB. I only shop when the word sale is involved because yarn is crazy expensive. Michaels has great sales if you check once a week. Their loops and threads brand is a great acrylic yarn with an amazing yardage for the price. Also marymaxim.com has great sales on good brands and their own brand. I actually stock pile during the spring and then the rest of the year I don't need to buy yarn.

After the holidays I will go thru my stash and pm you if you can use some of the yarn I have left over or that I won't use. I honestly can say I have too much lol. Knitting takes less yarn then crocheting so for some of the left over skeins you may have use.for them that I wont. After I destash I will get agile of you and its yours if you want it.

If you have a tuesday morning store they carry really cool yarns and the prices are good too.  I just bought some yarn ((11 skeins!) specialty stuff to make the ruffled scarves-going to try to make at least a couple for christmas otherwise they still will be made for gift.

I agree with others as homemade gifts are always appreciated more for being special.

I'm giving some jams and chutneys I made this fall for gifts as well as other items.

For felting I go to Goodwill and buy 100% wool sweaters I invested quite a bit of $$ as I need a wide range of colors but they keep well for other projects.

Enjoy your new clothes!

Sorry I kinda skimed, but I want to know. What does a leather tabby cat mask look like?

calico2222 said:

I agree, there is nothing to feel guilty about. You needed clothes so you spent money on them. It's not like went and bought a diamond watch that you didn't need just because you wanted it. Clothes are something we kinda need to be able to function outside our homes.

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Even if she did buy a diamond, that she just wanted but didn't need, she shouldn't feel guilty about that either! It's her money and she dictates how she spends it. We all deserve to treat ourselves without guilt.

binkyhoo said:

Sorry I kinda skimed, but I want to know. What does a leather tabby cat mask look like?

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Well its a mask made out of leather that looks like the face of a tabby cat. Pretty much I cut the shape out of vegetable tanned leather, I usually use a thicker leather about 7oz. I use some various leather tooling tools to carve into the leather to make the stripes and such then I soak it in warm water to make it pliable then start the shaping in drying process by shaping it a little then putting it in the kitchen oven for a minute or two before taking it out and shaping it some more and so on and so on til its shaped and completely dry.   Right now, the tabby mask is unpainted..and since I failed to put a test strip in the oven in the new apartment, I ended up burning the leather a little bit, so it looks kind of shabby atm. Luckly once I paint it, no one will be able to tell that I had singed the leather.   I haven't quite decided if I want to make it a gray tabby or orange but I'll probably wait to decide until I get the white base coat on.


 

3CatsN1Dog said:

MB. I only shop when the word sale is involved because yarn is crazy expensive. Michaels has great sales if you check once a week. Their loops and threads brand is a great acrylic yarn with an amazing yardage for the price. Also marymaxim.com has great sales on good brands and their own brand. I actually stock pile during the spring and then the rest of the year I don't need to buy yarn.
After the holidays I will go thru my stash and pm you if you can use some of the yarn I have left over or that I won't use. I honestly can say I have too much lol. Knitting takes less yarn then crocheting so for some of the left over skeins you may have use.for them that I wont. After I destash I will get agile of you and its yours if you want it.

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I usually get my yarn from Michaels too. I dragged my mom to some local yarn stores and they had some pretty amazing yarn but a little too expensive for what feel comfortable spending at the moment.  I'm actually making a scarf using Loops & Threads yarn. I'm using the bulky Cozy Wool (wool acrylic blend) which isn't too bad on price and its sooo soft and warm feeling. Its going to be a wonderful scarf once it gets finished.  I'm actually probably going to finish it tonight at work. I need a little break from all the fingerless mittens I've been doing and once I get started on it, it should only take an hour to get it finished.

That would be wonderful, I'm sure any left overs would be amazing


 

GailC said:

If you have a tuesday morning store they carry really cool yarns and the prices are good too.  I just bought some yarn ((11 skeins!) specialty stuff to make the ruffled scarves-going to try to make at least a couple for christmas otherwise they still will be made for gift.

I agree with others as homemade gifts are always appreciated more for being special.

I'm giving some jams and chutneys I made this fall for gifts as well as other items.

For felting I go to Goodwill and buy 100% wool sweaters I invested quite a bit of $$ as I need a wide range of colors but they keep well for other projects.

Enjoy your new clothes!

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I don't think we have a tuesday morning store in my area. We have a couple of really neat yarn shops that I went to this afternoon with my mom. Very wonderful yarn but like I told 3Cats, they're a little expensive for what I feel comfortable spending right now BUT next year I'll most likely get my yarn for my presents from one of the stores. My mom and I decided today that we're going to put our skills together and make winter comfort gift baskets with homemade cookies, breads and of course hats and scarves.

mmmm homemade jams that sounds yummy!