I am home!

Well thats it, the chapter is closed on my step father and I am home after an emotional funeral. Suddenly I feel as though I am mentally wrecked and exhausted.
I did the dutyful son bit, sat at the front and listened, although I admit I found it hard to look at anything but the coffin.
At the end I drove us all home - talked a little and then she told me that she and Paul had been to see Clive in the chapel of rest yesterday. I wanted to do that and it was all my effort to hold my tongue in place as could feel the anger welling up.
I left her with Paul and telling her to call me if she needs me - I have a feeling it will be a long time before that happens - so its onwards and upwards for me - I am to continue flying and it felt good to be talking with people that Paul had no idea who they were at the crematorium.
Anyway, heres raising a glass and if you are having one tonight, raise it to Clive for me and its time for me to move forward in life.
I did plant a rose this morning for Vicki - that felt good.
If there is a god up there - hope hes up for offering a little help to us!

On a final note, the only two things thathave made this week bearable for me is my wife and all of you - and I owe each of you more than you know. If I can ever help anyone of you =- dont hesitate to ask.

A bientot

Kev

Kev,
You have helped alot us by being here with your funny stories and laughter. We would miss you terribly if you were to leave.

As you know this site is so addicting it is hard to stay away. Getting feed back from so many different people is so educational. I grow more as a person every day I am here.

You have shown more strength and maturity than any person I have ever known. Remember, You have more friends than any of your family and we would do almost anything to give you a hand.

Glad it went o.k. (well as o.k. as something like that can).
Just remember we all care about you, even though we've never met.

Kev, I just went and read about your ordeal with the passing of your step-father. Why is it that when a loved one passes it brings out the worst in a family? I'm so sorry you have had to deal with this as you too are grieving. I read that someone said don't make any rash decision right now cause will do it out of anger. I 'm sure that will be hard. I think you did the right thing and did your dutiful eldest brother act. Now it is behind you and you can carry on with your wife and the ones who love you.

I lost my Mom in March of 2002 to lung cancer. It is just me and my older brother (5 years difference). My mom did not sign a will in time and we had to do all that probate crap to get my brother named executor and get all the financial stuff in order. Luckily, my brother and I "get along". We might not see eye to eye on things most of the time but he has always taken care of his little sister. I can feel some of your pain as I was the one Mom always called to come help her or do this or do that (Dad passed in 94). She would not call my brother, he was just to busy and so much on his mind. Okay, so I just sit around all day waiting on her to call.....NOT - Im married, work full time and have two kids, one 16 and one 5 yrs. When my brother DID go and do things she was always so praising of him. It made me sick. Don't get me wrong, I loved my Mom with all my heart and did what I could for her (although now I don't think I did enough). I was a Daddy's girl and I guess my brother was the Momma's boy. Anyway, enough of me.

Be strong and lean on your family and us. I haven't really had the chance to talk to you much but you really sound like a great guy.

You mentioned something about you were very familiar with probate and stuff, what do you do? If I may ask. I am needing some advise on my grandmother.

Cathy

Kev - today you have shown the strength of character that we get to see from you on a daily basis. I am glad that you made it thru the day!

(((huggs)))

Originally posted by 3kittys
You mentioned something about you were very familiar with probate and stuff, what do you do? If I may ask. I am needing some advise on my grandmother.

Cathy

Click to expand...

cathy - i work for the UK's largest gas company and deal with matters of probate in respect of accounts etc and helping them get finalised as quickly as possible. I am no einstein, but if can help - will do. whats up? You can tell me I am a doctor (not really but it gets a lot of laughs).

its like my chat up line to my wife all those years ago - I licked my finger and wet it then rubbed it on her T shirt. then told her shes all wet and we needed to get her out of those wet clothes!

Let me know and will do what I can,.

K

Okay, I'll bite. My grandmother (my Mom was her only child that passed in 2002), who will be 87 in September is basically under my care. I say that to the extent of I handle her medications she takes daily and do errands and stuff for her. She still lives by herself (only 2 blocks over from me) and owns her house and car (that's scary also). She has agreed to sign her house and car over to me to get it out of her name in case of nursing home or such. Can I just get a "Bill of Sale" and use one for house and then for car? I know some kind of money has to exchange even if only $1.00. I have a notary that works with me that would notorize both. Is this good enough? Oh, and by the way, I am also the one my grandmother calls for everything, not my brother!!

I just looked and realized you are in the United Kingdom right? Do you talk with an accent? I would love to hear it, I think they are sooo cool.

Cathy

Originally posted by 3kittys
Okay, I'll bite. My grandmother (my Mom was her only child that passed in 2002), who will be 87 in September is basically under my care. I say that to the extent of I handle her medications she takes daily and do errands and stuff for her. She still lives by herself (only 2 blocks over from me) and owns her house and car (that's scary also). She has agreed to sign her house and car over to me to get it out of her name in case of nursing home or such. Can I just get a "Bill of Sale" and use one for house and then for car? I know some kind of money has to exchange even if only $1.00. I have a notary that works with me that would notorize both. Is this good enough? Oh, and by the way, I am also the one my grandmother calls for everything, not my brother!!

I just looked and realized you are in the United Kingdom right? Do you talk with an accent? I would love to hear it, I think they are sooo cool.

Cathy

Click to expand...

first things first - No I dont talk with a accent - you lot do - we yorkshire folk dont say owt that aint ment and do say some strange stuff. may be we will have to talk - I spoke with a mate in Michigan last night for the first time - we have known each other for years - only for me it was gone 1am in the morning and at that time i tend to just growl a lot! I have never been cooool as you have stated - well except the ice pack on the bits!

the first point of call in respect of your question I would suggest that you obtain enduring power of attorney for your grandmother. That can be done legally and it gains you control over her finances etc. If you are doing everything for her, then it would be best under the circumstances. I would seriously consider this as it gives you a great deal of flexibilitry to act upon your grandmother behalf should the need ever arise - god forbid - that she is incapable of looking after herself.
if she is not prepared to do that and one can understand, then I would recommend that you contact a solicitor and have your grandmother sign the property over to you direct for a buck. This will mean that you control the property from that point on and again, should the need arise for you to sell it to enable to pay for nursing care - then its a very simple process. Or - we have a social security that would mean that your grandmother would go into a state controlled care and any cash in the house or car would be yours.
I would check it out the legal ins and outs - most UK solicitors have a free initial consultation- if they have the same out there - would look into it - will ask further for you - however, you have to recall,everything over here differs from the USA. You say Tom-a-to
we say tomato (very posh British accent there for you).
I would go for the power of attorney.
kev

((( hugs Kevin! )))

I am nameds Executris of her will that we had her do last year. That does help alot. Thanks.

Im way down south in the USA so your mate in Michican and I have two totally different dialects. Down here we say Ya'll, Ain't, Ounto, arite, you know the redneck kinda stuff.....up there they really talk funny....hehe

Thanks for your help.

Cathy

Originally posted by 3kittys
I am nameds Executris of her will that we had her do last year. That does help alot. Thanks.

Im way down south in the USA so your mate in Michican and I have two totally different dialects. Down here we say Ya'll, Ain't, Ounto, arite, you know the redneck kinda stuff.....up there they really talk funny....hehe

Thanks for your help.

Cathy

Click to expand...

Cathy - have sent you a personal message- that may help
kev

Kev- You are one of the most wonderful men I have met on the internet- You have touched a special part in my heart and I think you are really neat and have a fantastic sense of humor- you are also a very brave man who shows such great love and passion towards his family and Vicki. If I ever go to the UK, I must make a plan to visit you!I hope you understand we would be so upset if you left you have brought such joy and emotion to TCS.

So glad the funeral went Okay- and no dramas, you are such a sweetie for placing a rose on Vickis grave, she can now RIP

So glad everything is turning out alright.

We are here for you Kev- Never forget that.

Hugs.

Sam