Hello,
We started out with 2 kittens that we had gotten as rescues, one girl and one boy. After a few months it was time to get them neutered and unfortunately our boy cat had some kind of bad reaction to the anaesthetic and didn't wake up again. They had been a perfect match and got on extremely well since the boy was very laid back and he catered to our girl's crazy behaviour (excessively playful and energetic).
After the loss of him we had her on her own for a while but it felt like she was lonely so we decided to get another rescue. This time they didn't get on as well but eventually they began to tolerate each other, just never to the level of the first relationship. This new boy cat was less laid back and used his strength to dominate her more which caused her to whine during play. She would get extremely jealous when he got human attention and by this point our girl cat had built up an extremely strong bond with my partner.
We then moved to a more permanent and larger house. After a lot of thought we decided that it would be a good idea to get another cat, for 3 reasons: 1) so that we could try and recreate that bond that our girl cat had at the start with a very laid back cat. 2) to try and get another boy to take a bit of the sting out of the more boisterous play that was going on 3) because we love cats and we really wanted to get another.
We thought that a male Ragdoll would fit the bill since they are traditionally very laid back. We found a Ragdoll that badly needed a new home and was the same age as our existing cats. We went through what we thought was proper procedure. He was kept in a separate room for 1 week from his arrival and we always had 1 of us in there with him. We gradually tried to introduce our other 2 to the smell of him and after a week we introduced them to each other.
Hissing and growling ensued and they were very guarded regarding him. At first we had expected it but now 2 months later things have only improved a bit. Our existing male cat actually seems a bit happier. He has someone else to play with and gets a good amount of attention. He does occasionally feel a bit scared and a couple of times if our ragdoll gets right in his face he might bat him to get him away. Generally though I think they get on OK and over the years I can see it working out.
With our girl cat however things have not improved at all. If he is close by she growls at him and if he gets very close she will bat him. She constantly chases him away if he is around (looks a bit silly having a 6KG ragdoll being chased away by a little sub 4KG shorthair). She seems to try to heard him off to the upstairs of the house and control the ground floor, if he comes down she often chases him back upstairs and is constantly marking her territory downstairs. Another example of her behaviour was one time we saw her walking up to him with her tail in the air while he was in his bed, as she got within striking range she through out her paw and caught him in the face leaving a small cut (no growling or any other warning given).
So at this point we are very concerned, 2 months in we had hoped they would start to resolve their differences and we are worried we have made some kind of mistake. We have tried to give equal attention to all the cats but she is not responding well at all. The ragdoll is pretty much the sweetest animal you can imagine, he never attacks, he never bats or is aggressive. I actually think his lack of physical response to her could be an issue since he has never touched/chased her whereas he does chase around our male cat sometimes. He has never growled or hissed since he got here. I really don't see him as the problem but giving any of them away is not an option and we would like some advice on things we might try to improve the situation.
Another thing to note is that the girl has probably been excessively spoiled for attention. I mentioned the relationship with my partner earlier and that amount of attention on her has surely been reduced. Changing any amounts in affection seems to have zero effect at this point though.
So any suggestions would be much appreciated
Thanks a lot.
