Along The Path to The Rainbow Bridge

I am new to this forum and this is my first post. I wasn’t sure whether it was more appropriate to post this here or in the “Crossing the Bridge” forum. I have a remarkable little female tuxedo cat in her retirement years (15 years old). During a routine exam 2 months ago, showed signs of a thyroid problem. Our vet said that according to her blood test, she was in fine shape otherwise. He started her on some medication to treat the thyroid but she soon started showing some signs of breathing problems.

She has also been eating much less and had dropped to 7 1/2 pounds. I sensed something more was wrong when she had no interest in the Thanksgiving turkey. On past Thanksgivings, she has always parked herself by the oven as soon as that great smell of roasting turkey became apparent and would meow her little head off until it was served and she got some.

Our vet has been terrific and has had me call him between office visits and keep him apprised of how she was doing. Finally, this morning she was due for another blood test and during the visit, the vet noticed that her breathing problems seemed more serious. To make a long story short, he took an x-ray of her abdomen which showed considerable fluid in her lungs, so much so that her heart wasn’t even visible on the film.

He did some more tests and also did some minor surgery to remove some of the fluid from her lungs. The bottom line is that he feels she has either congestive heart failure or abdominal tumors, with a slight possibility of a collapsed lymph channel (which would be less serious). We will have more information from her tests tomorrow morning but he made it clear that anything he could do at this point would be only temporary.

Our vet is very highly regarded and has been absolutely wonderful with her. He managed to buy her (and us) some more time, whether it is months, weeks or just days and I know he won’t let her suffer. I feel certain that many vets would have probably just euthanized her this morning so I am grateful to still have a little more time with her. I would love to have her through the holidays but will do what’s best for her.

Even though I have been well aware of her age, I have been shocked at how rapid her deterioration has been. Just 2 months ago, she seemed as good as new. I’ve just been mostly sitting around in tears today, trying to absorb the news and not being able to get much of anything done. I guess I have been spoiled because our previous cat lived for 21 years.

I do have one question which may seem strange but which I haven’t ever seen addressed anywhere else. Perhaps others here can help me with it. When her time finally comes, whether the vet euthanizes her or she dies a natural death at home, what options do I have in dealing with her body? We always buried our previous pets at a family farm in Pennsylvania but our relatives there have all passed, the farm has been sold and that’s no longer an option. We also live in an apartment so burying her here is not an option. Thanks in advance for any feedback.

Thanks for all of the kind responses and prayers. I have been able to feel them working and I also can tell that God is helping her work through this. Thanks to your input, I think I have worked out the perfect solution for her when the time comes. Up until now, I had been so worried that I wouldn’t know what to do at the appropriate time.

 I I have large roll top desk which has a big cubbyhole in the back, between the desk surface itself and the top section of drawers and cubbyholes. It just a perfect size for a cat (about 10” deep, 7“ high and 22” wide)  and she loves to crawl into it (to either sleep or just chill) so that she can be close to me while I’m working at my desk…which is often.

If I have let it partially fill up with papers or whatever and she wants in there, she will dig the papers out until she CAN crawl in there.  In other words, as far as she’s concerned, it’s HER spot….period, and if it’s too full of other stuff, she will clean it out until she can get back in it. She actually crawled back in there just now as I write this and I can see her dark green eyes peering back out at me as they so often do.

When her time comes, I will clean that area out permanently, polish it up well and place her ashes in a nice box back in there, in HER place for some period of time that I will determine. Then, whenever I decide that it is time for someplace more permanent (i.e. eternal for her), I will do one of two things:

We have a beautiful forested area that our apartment looks out upon and which is unlikely to ever be touched for development of any type. It has tall grasses, plenty of trees and a stream and years ago, before I realized what a bad idea it is to let a cat roam about outdoors (I’ve kept her an indoor cat for many years now), I used to let her play in there and often remember seeing her happily playing and exploring in the foliage. One alternative is to spread her ashes in that beautiful area where she always has loved to play.

The second alternative is to either bury or spread her ashes on the farm of some friends in Pennsylvania. Even though our family farm is no longer in the family, this other farm is still an option. It’s in a very remote part of Pennsylvania and is likely to remain farmland forever. I’ve always felt that farms must be heaven on earth for cats and that every cat should get a chance to live on one at least once in its life.

There will be rabbits to chase, dogs to pester, cows to supervise (especially at milking time) and perhaps some horses as well, a limitless supply of mice to grab, grasses to nibble, barns and fields to explore, trees to climb and when it becomes time to come indoors, a cozy hearth to curl up by. That way she will have not only the real heaven but heaven on earth as well.

Our vet performed a second miracle yesterday and our little one is still with us tonight. His first miracle was at the end of the week last week when he thought she would not live through the night without emergency surgery, which he performed at once. She did great for a day or two but had another setback over the weekend. He thought that once again, she might not live through the night last night without more surgery. He had me bring her over at once and he worked her into his schedule and treated her royally once again.

I was in tears again all the way over there once again, thinking that for sure yesterday was the day when I was going to finally have to let her go. Her surgery went well once again however, and he told me that with the additional x-rays and lab work he now has, he thinks there is a chance that we may now be able to get another 6-12 months with a good quality of life for her. That’s twice in the last 5 days now that he has saved her life.

Today, even though she has now lost almost 1/2 her normal weight and albeit a little weaker, she seems to have had a comfortable day and this afternoon, is breathing well again and following much of her normal routine. She made a 6-7 foot leap from a table to a cupboard which she has always loved to make and did it just as easily as she always has in the past. She’s even crawled up onto my lap several times today as she always loves to do. I feel very, very lucky to have gotten a little more time with her and I’m just taking things one day at a time with her now. I treasure each day with her even more now and feel much better prepared mentally to deal with the inevitable whenever it happens.

One last point I will make is that I found considerable material available both online and in books to help someone deal with losing a pet. There are several of what seem to be excellent books on the subject on Amazon and I also found several websites, with everything from additional resources, support groups, and pet bereavement hotline counselors. Until now, I had NO idea that there was help and information anywhere near this extensive available. Perhaps their links are already available elsewhere on this site but I will pass them along again in case they’re not (http://www.pet-loss.net/index.shtml) and (http://aplb.org/index.html).

I also wanted to mention a series of books that have been helping me deal with this situation as well. The first is “All Creatures Great and Small” by English vet, James Herriott (pseudonym). They are wonderful stories of his experience as a vet and even though I had already read it at the time, finding a copy of it on my vet’s waiting room table the first time I went there convinced me that he was someone who truly loved animals (not that other vets don’t) and sealed the deal as far as my choosing him to be my kitty’s vet.

The remaining books in the series are wonderful as well, “All Things Bright and Beautiful”, “All Things Wise and Wonderful”, and “The Lord God Made Them All”. I’ve read them all and just thinking about them again the other night when things looked so bleak for our kitty lifted my spirits. I will almost certainly read all of them once again. Try to find the St. Martin’s Press or some other versions on Amazon since the Odyssey versions which they also carry are abridged and don’t have all of the stories.