Nope, don't be afraid to say it here. I had support on this loss from my husband as somehow, Pete got to his heart. Still, he has left me broken hearted by saying "it's just a cat" one too many times. I had 3 previous kittens in the litter be taken by FIP. Sometimes, you wonder if you even know the people you think you know and wonder if there is something wrong with YOUR heart, because you feel a loss like this so deeply. Well, there ain't nothing wrong with you or me, just our support team. I can relate in the marriage parallel. I just do my own thing, I guess.
Life in my house went on seemingly 2 hours after Petey passed and mind you, he struggled in his passing. I just didn't understand hbow people that watched him or the pain I was going through could just simply act like it never occurred, I still don't get it. I am lucky I have some compassionate friends and animal lovers on FB who carried me through and of course, the angels here. I dunno...I guess some animals simply get to us more than others. MaryJane was that for you. Grieve as long or hard or anyway you need to grieve. She meant something to you in a big way. If you need to sleep, do that...talk to her. I just keep putting flowers on Petey's grave. I know he isn't there but it helps to go be where he is and get the pain out of my system with tears and words. If I am a baby, so be it. He won't go without knowing how much he meant. Only other people who have been there know what you are enduring. We get it. Nothing heals, just time makes it less painful. Take all of the time you need.
So my Maryjane is free of her pain now. She crossed the bridge monday night. She's dearly missed by my immediate family. She was in our family since she was born. I found out she had cancer of the mouth. We held onto her as long as we could. She was in rough shape and suffering. I hope now she's at peace. We picked her ashes up today. That was not easy for me to do. We plan on getting a stone plaque done and an urn. She sits in a window since that was a favorite thing to do. Love pretty mamas.
Maryjane. 
She was such a beautiful girl.
