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My DSH hate me

post #1 of 11
Thread Starter 
My husband has a DSH (Dixie). He had her before we met. This cat hates me. She sees me and she'll hiss and run. I have never done anything to this cat but try to love her. She is spayed and about 4 years old. I am the one who feeds her and sees that the litterbox is clean. Why does this cat hate me? I told my husband after we move she is going outside. He does not want her to go out but she will try to get out I know it and instead of me trying to keep her in I just want to let her out. She went outside on her own the other day when we brought some stuff upstairs. I have two other cats that are Siamese and she does not really like them. She teaches them bad things (if this is possable). I think she does anyway. She has tought them to go downstairs. They are not allowed down there because I do not want them to get out. Anyway I like this cat but she makes me so mad sometimes. Why does this cat hate me so much?
post #2 of 11
that you carry that you are not aware of. Cats have really sensitive noses and perhaps she smells something on you that sets her off. I had a cat that used to spit and hiss at me when I was sitting on the couch. He used to lay on the back of the couch and then I would sit down near him, and he would spit and hiss and run away. We finally figured out that he was reacting to my perm smell in my hair, because after my hair grew out, Spencer quit hissing at me and started to curl up on my lap. It could be a perfume you use, a food you eat, it could even be the scent of your siamese you carry on yourself.

I would put this cat in a room alone, and then just go in and sit on the floor. I would read a book, or write a letter, but just spend time with it, read aloud but don't approach it, let it call the shots so to speak. Try laying tidbits of food in a circle around you, food that has a strong scent and just sit there and ignore the cat for awhile. Do this for a few days and see if the attitude doesn't change. The cat could also be very jealous of you for the attention you claim with her person, and now the two cats in her house. Once you move, even if she makes you angry, please don't let her out until she has acclimated herself to the new place. I don't think you could live with the fact that you let this cat outside because she made you mad. You don't strike me as that type of person. Your other two cats probably went downstairs, because isn't that where she is? They just want to hang together, that's all. Cats as a rule are not evil, they are just misunderstood.
post #3 of 11
Thread Starter 
She is our cat and is to be upstairs with us but yes she does venture downstairs. I tried being friens with her before I got my Siamese cats and she still did the samething hissing and running away. I lived with my husband and her for a year before I got my cats. She has only been around my husband before me could this be why? Is she not used to people? I am the one who is home all the time. My husband is not home most of the day or he is sleeping. My husband works midnight. before I had my cats she would come into the bedroom and sit on the floor and watch me sleep. This really freaked me out. She was not spayed whe I met my husband I told him he had to get her spayed she was so loud when she was in heat. So how long do you think it might take for her to get used to our new house? Will it be better that all of the cats have to get used to the new house together? See Dixie was here first. Will this make a difference they will all be equal in the new house? What I mean is someone is not the new kitty?
post #4 of 11
Could it be that she is jealous? Animals will sometimes have extreme personality changes when a couple has a baby, so it might just be that she feels your husband was "hers first" and you are infringing. I have no advice, other than that your husband may want to spend some "alone time" every day with just his cat. Maybe 20 minutes, half an hour, with just them.
post #5 of 11
I'm moving this to the behavior forum. Hopefully, you'll get more responses there.
post #6 of 11
It sounds like she is just attached to your husband. I would be greatful that there are no attacks and that she's not aggressive.
As for putting the cat outside, I don't think it's your place. He had the cat before you brought 2 more into the house. It was her home first. The 2 new cats were brought into her territory. Besides which, having her outside is just increasing the risk of your siamese cats getting infections and parasites. It sounds like his cat has some attachment issues and she did not ask for all the hassle of a new mom and 2 siblings. Sometimes it takes a year or more for cats to get over things like this. She probably at this point senses that you do not like her and it's not going to get better. When you move, I would make sure and treat them as equals so they have a chance to explore the new surroundings together.
post #7 of 11
Thread Starter 

It is not just me she did this before I was even around. As for attacks. Well she has attacked me before. I do treat her as an equal sometimes I play with her more and have tried to be her friend. It doesn't work!!! This cat has been like this since birth. She does it to my husband too at times. She is just mean. As for it not being my place he did not marry the cat!! I have done so much for this cat and so has my husband. He brought her in from the cold when my sister in law through her out because she attacked her daughter. I have been nice to this cat too. I am the one who feeds her, changes her litterbox (I should not be doing I am pregnant), I get and give her treats, ect. I have never done anything to her to make her not feel equal in the home if anything I have treated her better because of her behavior. Trying to make her she I will not harm her. Like I said she is a troubled cat! I just thought someone could tell me how to make her like me. I have a daughter and a son on the way and do not want to put her in a shelter so I thought she could go outside. I feel it is my place to do this if she is going to harm my children or me again.
post #8 of 11
I aplogise if I offended you, but you have to understand I see so many things with people and their pets. I do understand that people have their own views on situations like these. Some cats are like this. I have a tortie that is not a very nice cat. However she has been here longer than most and we made the commitment to take care of her until the end. I am still working on behavior modifications with her. I would love to give you some advice, but I would have to know all the details on her behavior. I have a book at work that may help you with her. Monday I will write the name down. It may help to ease the tension in the house and help you with her behavior. I just do not want to see her put outside or end up euthanized because of this. Like I said before,if you put her outside then you would have to make her a 100% outdoor cat bacause she could bring lots of stuff in the house to give to the indoor cats. Not only that but your vet bills may soar because of injury,illness or she may even loose her life out there. She has been indoors all of her life. So, with that said, I am sorry if I seemed abrupt, I just get emotional about these sorts of things(I see it way too often). I will get the name of the book and I bet there's an answer for ya.
post #9 of 11
Thread Starter 
I was not offended. I am about the fact that I am so nice to her and she is so mean to me. I asked for help. I am upset that the cat thinks she owns the house. I understand she was there before me but she can be so nasty for no reason. She has no issues with my Siamese cats just me and my husband sometimes. Mainly me! I would not put her out and forget about her. See we have 23 acers of land and there are not any strays around. My mother in law has a male that is altered that goes outside he is the only cat around for miles. She likes to go out as she has snuck outside before. I understand what you are saying about vet bills.

She has been with my husband since my sister in law put her out in a snow storm . I wish she had not done this. he had her 3 years before we met. She was nice to me at first. She would not hiss and spit at me she would come to me. Then one day she just started to hiss and spit when she saw me like if I walked into the room. If I try to talk to her she runs away. But she will take treats form me or food. She is really pretty. All white. I have never done anything to her. She also hisses at my husband for no reason. She will sleep with him when I let her in our room. I am also there and she is fine then. It is almost like she doe not trust us at times. If you need to know anything else let me know. If you have questions about her. I would love your help. Sorry if I sounded I'm not. Atleast not at you just the situation. I feel like with her I can't do anything right.
post #10 of 11
Cats are so strange in many ways. I went searching on the site to find the book, I knew I would know what it was right off the bat. I would really get it and read it. It has brought me so much insight on behavior problems. I have even learned why one of my cats does what she does and I am working on the solution. It is very easy to read and understand. I will bet you find your answer by reading this one. It is the cat who cried for help. I am going to add the link so you can see which one it is.

post #11 of 11
Thread Starter 
Thank you so much for your help.
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